Mamas, need help/advice! — The Bump
January 2016 Moms

Mamas, need help/advice!

Hey Mamas,

I know there's a sleep thread out there somewhere, but I was hoping I could get some additional advice, things that worked, personal experiences etc.
My little guy is 10 months old, and up until 6 months was a pretty good sleeper, would sleep in his crib, wake up once to eat, and go back down. I was totally spoiled with his newborn stage.

Around 7 months, he got a nasty cold and the only way he would get rest was to sleep with me and nurse often, well fast forward to 10 months. He goes down in his crib just fine, but a few weeks back starts waking up around 11-1am and screams for me, sitting up, as soon as I pick him up he usually settles back down. But if I put him back in his crib, he will be back up in an hour doing the same thing, we did this game for a few days but I just got too exhausted. I work full time and am away from home from 5:40am-6pm, so I gave up the crib, and I usually bring him into bed with me after the first wake up, because I literally can't function otherwise, nor do I have the time or capacity to sleep train at this point.

I don't mind him sleeping with me whatsoever (my husband is bothered, since he wants wifely things, sorry buddy, too exhausted for that anyway), but now he has accepted that the buffet is open all night,and he will nurse 4-5 times at night! (TMI) my nipples just started bleeding today for the first time in 10 months, since he also has teeth and grinds them in his sleep, great!

Sorry for the sleep history! But here are things I need help with.

1. With previous kids that co-slept, did they eventually outgrow it and were able to sleep in their bed without training. (At what age?)
2. I have 10 lovely days off coming up next week, should I sleep train.
3. I really can't handle CIO, but if I do decide to sleep train over the next 10 days, what is the best method that has worked for you?

Any and all advice is appreciated.

Thank you!!

Re: Mamas, need help/advice!

  • nackienackie
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its Third Anniversary 5 Answers
    member
    edited November 2016
    I can't give you any advice on Co-sleeping, we never did that.  
    We did do CIO and it was rough for the first few days, but so worth it.  Now the only times he wakes up are when he's actually hungry and he puts himself to sleep in a few minutes most of the time.  I put DH in charge because I was too exhausted to come up with a plan.  Also, DS gets less excited to see him and so it was easier to get him back down if he didn't think boobies were an option.  ;)
    We tried pick up, put down first and it was a disaster, but I know it's worked for some people here.
    My advice is to read a little about all the different methods and pick one that seems to fit your personalities best.
  • Also no advice on cosleeping (sorry).
    I think you may have to bite the bullet and do some sleep training. Your sleep and sanity is important! I can't imagine getting little to no sleep and having to work too, you rock mama! We used pick up put down first around 6 months and it worked like a champ. Fast forward to 8-9 months and we used a modified CIO/controlled crying with lots of check ins. We started with a 5 minute check, then 10, and so on adding 5 minutes between each check. LO rarely made it past the 20 minute interval. Now, at 10 months, if he is crying and all of his needs are met (he's fed, dry, burped, and generally just cranky because he's tired and doesn't want to sleep) I let him cry (and let's be honest it's more like whining) and he rarely lasts beyond 15-20 minutes. If it's longer than that I know he actually needs something. It's all about adjusting methods to work for you and your family. I hope this helps you get some ideas and more importantly some really good sleep for both you and baby!
  • failuretoflyfailuretofly
    500 Love Its 1000 Comments Fourth Anniversary Name Dropper
    member
    edited November 2016
    Again, no help with cosleeping, but we've had moderate success with the baby whisperer  (PU/PD & EASY routine) and I wouldn't go any other way. I am firmly against CIO, and while pu/PD does take more work in my opinion it is worth it. we no longer have night feeds the majority of the time and we'd probably be sleeping straight through by now if lo wasn't currently cutting a tooth.
    Just remember, just because a lot of people tell you CIO worked for them or they think it's the only way, doesn't mean you're doing anything wrong if you choose not to!
    Good luck mama!
    Lilypie First Birthday tickers
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  • So we have finally gotten to a better place sleep wise (for now, haha). After a bad cold and a tough time traveling in early September, LO was up several times a night and nursing most of those. Here's a summary of what I did:
    1. Breastfeeding is the last part of our bedtime routine still, but i don't nurse to sleep. When I put her in the crib, she is really really drowsy but awake. Sleepy enough to just crash right away though.
    2. I picked a time that I would breastfeed her, and if she woke up at any point before that, I wouldnt feed her. So I started with 12am. Then the next feed would be a minimum of 3 hours after that, no earlier. So the first few nights I nursed at 12, 3, and 6am. Then I slowly pushed it back each night in 15 min increments. I am finally down to LO nursing at 4am, then again at 7 when she wakes up for the day. This is lifechanging!! I am 100% happy with LO waking up just once to feed at night... I like the cuddles. I could push it back though if I wanted her to sleep through.
    3. If LO wakes up at any time and it's not time to nurse, i let her try to put herself back to sleep. I set a timer of 10 min, and if she isn't back laying down by then, I go in, pick her up and calm her down for a couple minutes, put her back in the crib, then give her another 10 minutes. Repeat. Lucky for me, she isnt much of a cryer and mainly complains. She usually puts herself back to sleep pretty quickly. But it hasn't always been this easy! I think she's pretty used to the 10 min rule now. Last night she only got up once at 11 and put herself back to sleep in 3 minutes, slept til 4, ate, then slept til 7. This is a huuuuge change. You know your LO the best and will know how long you both can take the whining/crying. For us, if she is whining/crying more than 10 minites, I think there's a good reason... whether it's a diaper change or she just needs a couple minutes of hugging. 

    Just another tip... since you are nursing so much now, I would decrease the amount you do slowly. Your boobs will just hurt a lot if you make any drastic changes. :)
    Oh and we used to cosleep but we stopped at around 2 months, and it was surprisingly super easy for us. I think LO actually wanted her room (she loves playing in there during the day) and her own space (she is a big time squirmer). So no real good tips other than to figure out a sleep training that works for you guys. 

    Good luck and keep us posted!!

  • Thank you all for the advice and suggestion! I'll try some over the next 8 days and see how it goes! Will report back! 
    Hipshaker
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