FTM check in 11/15

thatcma

Sorry it's late in the day! We have been super busy at work with 2 people out today. UGH.

How far along are you?

How are you feeling?

Rants/Raves?

Questions?

Biggest FTM concern?

GTKY: What's something you've done, that you never thought you would have done?

kat0607

How far along are you? 6w6d

How are you feeling? I am constantly overwhelmed by anxiety, and it's really starting to interfere with work and relationships. Not even just anxiety regarding the pregnancy, but even just about my personal health. I feel like a hypochondriac even though I barely even get a cold more than a few times a year. I am worried to tell my doctor about the anxiety and occasional depression, because I don't want medication and I wish I could just ignore it. I have never gotten professional help and I am scared to. I describe it to DH as "having a hard time coping with every day, normal life events." I know none of you are psychiatrists or therapists and I'm sorry for such a cynical vent, but I feel like these emotions are invading my entire life when I am supposed to be enjoying and cherishing my first pregnancy. 

Rants/Raves? none 

Questions?none

Biggest FTM concern? Not quite sure. Maybe just feeling too overwhelmed and not being able to combat it effectively. 

GTKY: What's something you've done, that you never thought you would have done?  I went to Thailand my junior year of college. Not that I never would have chosen to do that, but if that specific opportunity hadn't presented itself, I don't think I would have ever gone there in my lifetime. 

SaphireSweetie88

How far along are you? 5 weeks + 1 day

How are you feeling? Good except for major boob soreness / pain in the morning.

Rants/Raves? My numbers are skyrocketing so I am thrilled with that.

Questions? None

Biggest FTM concern? It's silly but part of me is worried I will be a POS mother like my biological mother even though I know I won't be (long story). See the spoiler below if you're interested in the long story short version

I was born to a teenage mother who was (and still is) a raging alcoholic who was (and probably still is) in and out of jail. Due to her drinking issues (including while pregnant) I was born with a hole in my heart. A local church helped raise money for my surgery but she spent most of it on alcohol and who knows what else.

She was not a good mother but I don't know if the blame can be placed 100% on her because the support system she had was not much a support system. At some point, she moved in with a guy and his father. They were really the only support she had. I grew up under the assumption this guy was my biological father (found out at 18 he wasn't). This guy was worse she was - in and out of prison. He also sexually assaulted me when I was younger (before I was adopted) as well.

While my mother was "working" with the courts to learn how to be a good mother, social services was called on her a number of times for missing appointments, me being severely sick and her not bringing me to the doctor / follow-up doctor appointments, etc

Before I was adopted, I was placed in foster care at 18 months old. The courts tried to help my birth mother a couple times to see if she was capable of being a mother. The courts eventually determined she wasn't capable of being a fit mother and eventually she lost all parental rights.

I met my birth mother again when I was 18 (the only change she made was getting worse). The only good thing that came out of meeting her was I no longer wondered "what if" when it came to her. I asked about my biological father and after some convincing she admitted the guy I assumed it was, wasn't my father and so she told me who my biological father was (he's no better than her).

I didn't contact my biological father for a few years after that because he is in prison for sexual assault of a child (his 2nd offense) and that hit home a little too hard for me. I did start writing him to get some information for medical records and things but we don't really talk about much of anything. He knows I'm married, etc but that's it. He has mentioned multiple times that he would like me and my husband to come visit him but I haven't visited so far.

I was sent to several potential families and sent back to foster care for one reason or another before finally being adopted just before my 7th birthday. There's more I could mention but I am sure anyone reading this gets the idea.

GTKY: What's something you've done, that you never thought you would have done? Went to Germany.

Edited: Updated how far along I am now that I updated my ticker

MimoCa

How far along are you? 

I was given a new EDF today so I'm 6 weeks 0 days.

How are you feeling? 

Anxious, because doc says baby heart rate is on the low end being 96bpm but MIL told me it's still too early and it probably just started beating. So hopefully all will be OK in 2 weeks!

Rants/Raves?

None

Questions?

None

Biggest FTM concern?

GTKY: What's something you've done, that you never thought you would have done?

I live my life basically on the whim, so I've done a lot of things that most never think I would. For instance after I did my study abroad in Ireland, I decided to pursue my masters there, then stay over, met DH, got married there and ended up in Bangladesh with him and his family for 9 months, and back in the U.S. I also ended up randomly owning a business which expanded recently.

MimoCa

@SaphireSweetie88 don't ever think you would be like her. The fact that you already fear it means you will be a great mother, loving and caring mother!

SaphireSweetie88

Thanks @MimoCa

kat0607

@SaphireSweetie88 I wholeheartedly agree with @MimoCa ! Biology might connect you to your birth mother, but her thoughts, actions and behaviors were her own, that doesn't mean it she the same for you. Now as a mom, it's your chance to be proactive with YOUR own thoughts, actions and behaviors, which I know you already are! I admire your courage and seemingly strong-willed personality even with that kind of experience growing up.

ThePecks

How far along are you?

7+3

How are you feeling?

Indigestion! Hopeful and anxiously awaiting my next appointment.

Rants/Raves?

My body can't decide what to feel like - some days the boob soreness is gone, others it's just crazy. Also, feel like I have to eat constantly to keep from feeling like crap!

Questions? not yet

Biggest FTM concern?

I'm almost to the point in this pregnancy where I'm further along than I made it last time, so not as sure of what to expect after next week!

GTKY: What's something you've done, that you never thought you would have done?

I got a black belt in Tae Kwon Do in high school. It was completely by accident that I got placed in the one PE period that happened to be that class!

SaphireSweetie88

@kat0607 - thanks!

ThePecks

@kat0607
Did you have this type of anxiety before becoming pregnant? It's totally possible that the hormones are messing with you a lot! Never a bad thing to mention to the doctor. I'm currently on anti-anxiety meds and have been for a long time and my doctors aren't worried about it affecting my pregnancy (but there are some that are bad, and they'll know!). 

In the mean time, be good to yourself, plenty of rest and water and if it gets worse, please ask your doctor about it. I would hate for it to get worse as time goes on and really hit you hard with PPD! (esp. if it's hormone related!)

MrsMaxwell95

How far along are you? 5w1d

How are you feeling? Anxious. Excited. Emotional. Over whelmed. I just am in full mommy to be mode

Rants/Raves? Finding the right OB is such a pain. Between insurance, location, reviews and birthing methods I'm just like "but i just right?" lol jk

Questions? Not really. At least not yet

Biggest FTM concern? Just being a good one

GTKY: What's something you've done, that you never thought you would have done?

Uhm, get pregnant. Was told early on i wouldn't be able to have kids but LOOK AT ME NOW

knit-sew-mama

@kat0607 - hugs! I deal with minor anxiety so I can't even imagine what you are going through. I also urge your to talk to your doctor even if you don't want to. They can probably help.

@SaphireSweetie88 - Hugs! You'll be a great mom!

How far along are you? 5+2

How are you feeling? Tired...nauseous...

Rants/Raves? Got a second blood draw today so now my bruise is bruising

Questions? Not right now

Biggest FTM concern? My biggest concern is DH not being home when I'm in labor. He's a night shift paramedic and works 12 hour shifts. My mom had very short labor with my brother and I. I know I'll probably contract at home for awhile but you never know.

GTKY: What's something you've done, that you never thought you would have done? Backpacking. The whole idea originally disgusted me but I really enjoyed the experience. Did 3 days in the Smokey Mountains and want to do more (although that's on hold)

thatcma

How far along are you? 6w6d
How are you feeling? I am good. Symptoms wise intermittent nausea, very sore boobs, feel crummy after eating and I am so tired!
Rants/Raves? I am still constantly worried that things are not going to work out, and that on the 28th at my appointment there won't actually be something there. 
Questions? Nah.
Biggest FTM concern? That I won't actually know how to be a good mom, that we aren't actually ready for this. 
GTKY: What's something you've done, that you never thought you would have done? Rappelled down a 100ft castle wall in Whales. I have a huge fear of heights.

@kat0607 I would certainly mention your feelings to a doctor when/next time you see one. Anxiety is a hard thing to deal with and it really can get very overwhelming.
@saphiresweetie88 I am sure you will be NOTHING like your mom. I know I only know you online but I think you are a great, very caring person. 
@thepecks so happy to hear the point you are at!
@baxgirl I can appreciate your concern about your DH. My DH works 2 jobs so there is limited time that he is actually home with me, and I am *also* concerned he won't be home when I go into labor. Hopefully he will be down to one job by then.

glitterfish-2

How far along are you? 7+1
How are you feeling? Still worried because I still feel fine! More tired, but I'm also not getting my normal caffeine dose either!
Rants/Raves? I need to actually start paying attention to TW. I think they are messing with me. Chances are still good that this baby will come home, but wtf with the 8 week wait to see anything! We thought the two week wait was awful!!
Questions? Can't think right now.
Biggest FTM concern? TBH, I don't like kids very much. Hoping mine doesn't drive me as insane as everyone else's.... 
GTKY: What's something you've done, that you never thought you would have done? Bought a house on my own. We also just paid off my $60k student loans!

LuLiLaEv

@GlitterFish There is hope! I was the same way before I had my DD and now I love her to pieces but other kids still drive me nuts!

star_beagle

How far along are you? 6w0d

How are you feeling? It comes in waves. My boobs really started hurting today while I was in training. I go from completely fine to so nauseated I might blow chunks to starving in 0.25 seconds. I think I might need to start carrying small snacks with me everywhere. Something with protein (like almonds) seems to work the best.

Rants/Raves? 

Questions?

Biggest FTM concern? My biggest right now (thanks to my H) is how are we going to afford me being out of work 8-12 weeks? I'll have some vacation and sick time, but that won't cover the full time. I will (hopefully) get FMLA, but that's unpaid leave. We have some savings, but with all the things that have cropped up lately (mostly my H's car being a piece of crap), it has started dwindling. I know we'll find a way, but it's still worrying. 

GTKY: What's something you've done, that you never thought you would have done? Get a tattoo.

pretzel2plus1

@kat0607 Thinking of you! I'm sorry to hear about your anxiety. Please do whatever you need to take care of yourself. I'll echo PPs that it's definitely worth mentioning to your doctor.

@SaphireSweetie88 I've seen how you interact with ladies on this board, as well as TTGP and T-TTC, and while that doesn't mean I know you all that well, in my opinion there is absolutely no way you could ever be anything like your mom! 

@MimoCa FX baby's heart rate picks up! Do you have another appt to check again soon?

@baxgirl So. many. blood draws. I actually had just started IF testing the week before my BFP, so I had two blood draws that week, and then two more last week after my BFP. I thought my arms were going to fall off! Hope your bruises go away quickly!

How far along are you? 4w6d

How are you feeling? Okay, just exhausted all the time. The nausea comes and goes, but it's not terrible right now. 

Rants/Raves? I had a pretty rough day at work today, which I'm sure the hormones didn't help at all. I pretty much cried on the phone with H all the way home. Poor H... He's such a trooper putting up with me right now. 

Questions? I had one the other day that I thought would be well-answered here by any STMs, but of course I can't think of it now...

Biggest FTM concern? Just the overall uncertainty. I guess I'll learn as I go!

GTKY: Getting married before finishing school. I always said I wanted to be done with school and settled before getting serious with anyone, but along came H and the rest is history! 

MimoCa

@pretzel2plus1 yes, I go back in the 30th! So FX

jsweet-2

@kat0607 I wouldn't hesitate to speak to your doctor about your anxiety. they will most likely ask you some questions and give you advice possibly to speak to a counsellor but that doesn't mean they will prescribe you something right away. A lot of anxiety can be helped through talking. I am a lifer with generalized anxiety disorder and I can tell you 100%of the time I have not regretted talking to me doctor about it.

manillabar

How far along are you? 7w2d

How are you feeling? I'm all over the place. Nausea was terrible today, slight headache, and some light spotting today and yesterday.  I already know from the last time I called my doctor and the information they gave me at my last visit that I shouldn't be concerned unless it's red or heavy and honestly it's so light I probably wouldn't have noticed it if I wasn't scrutinizing my TP but still... how will I wait till Monday for my US?

@glitterfish I think I need to stay away from the TW threads too... I click them because I want to show support but it may be a little too much for my crazy brain

Rants/Raves? My husband keeps telling people at his job!! It's cute because I know he's so excited but I just wanted to wait until our first ultrasound

Questions?

Biggest FTM concern? Not getting obsessively crazy over EVERYTHING during the pregnancy... I just want to be happy and enjoy it

GTKY: What's something you've done, that you never thought you would have done? I don't know, lol I think I've been pretty predictable so far. I guess I need to change it up!

@saphiresweetie88 I agree with the others. I am so sorry for what you went through, I can't imagine what that must have been like. It seems to me, though, that you are everything that your "mother" was not. I think you're gonna be a great mom!

RubyRedPirate

How far along are you? 6+1

How are you feeling? Pretty horrible. I'm nauseous all day and nothing seems to help. I have horrible food aversion and I'm barely eating or drinking. I also come home, go to bed before 9pm, and then I'm awake at the crack of dawn.

Rants/Raves? I feel guilty for complaining about morning sickness. It took 2.5 years to get pregnant and I've had 2 miscarriages. I keep telling myself i'ts worth it as I lay in the bathroom floor but feel guilty every time I complain. 

Questions? Has anyone started at a RE then went back to their regular OB? I just really dislike my RE but he did get me pregnant. 

Biggest FTM concern? I feel like I've wanted this baby for so long and now I realize I know nothing about children. My husband is a natural, I'm not. I have so many questions that I want to ask but feel like they are very stupid. 

GTKY: What's something you've done, that you never thought you would have done? Moving across the country. My husband and I grew up in a very small town and no one ever seems to leave. When we were in college we said "Why not!?" and it was the best decision we've ever made. I only see  my parents every few months instead of a few times a month but we are closer now and talk a lot more often. 

SaphireSweetie88

@baxgirl - Thanks!
@osucma - Thanks! 
@GlitterFish - I am the same with TW. I take a deep breath before reading one and remind myself that each situation and pregnancy is different. 
@lfk2013 - I hear you about money. I don't know yet if I get paid or unpaid leave but DH & I created an Excel sheet with all our bills, income, etc on it &we update what / where our expenses are on the 1st of the month so we track our progress with less debt, more savings, etc. 
@pretzel2plus1 - Thanks!
@manillabar - Thanks!
@RubyRedPirate - I am sure you maternal instincts will kick in naturally in time. That being said, there are no stupid questions. We're all in this together so ask away

realgoodthing

@kat0607 Go see a therapist! I know it can seem overwhelming, but it's seriously so good, especially when dealing with the anxieties of pregnancy. You don't have to see someone who prescribes medication, just someone to talk to.

@SaphireSweetie88 I'm so sorry to hear about your childhood. You are incredibly strong and you're going to be a wonderful mother!

How far along are you? 5+4

How are you feeling? Gross. I get winded just walking around the house, which makes no sense. Nausea's not terrible, but not great. I just feel tired and my boobs hurt so bad.

Rants/Raves? I complain, but as always, glad to be pregnant! 

Questions? Nah.

Biggest FTM concern? I'm very clumsy and legitimately scared of dropping the baby!!!!

GTKY: What's something you've done, that you never thought you would have done? That's a good question! Honestly, my teenage self would freak out that I've met some of the actors I have, which is a shallow answer, but true!

SaphireSweetie88

@leilac - Thanks!

kat0607

I'm sorry I can't tag everyone because I'm on mobile right now, but seriously thank you all so much for the support. I have felt so alone in this, no one I know really knows what to say. Thank you for encouraging me to speak to my doctor...I am nervous but I really don't want to be dealing with PPD, as that is one of my greatest fears. Thank you all so, so much.

oheliza44

@kat0607 so glad you found the encouragement you need to speak to your doctor. I know that seeing a therapist provided such insight and gentle guidance in my life when I needed it, and I hope you find that too.

Ah! I'm a day late at this but here goes anyway. 

How far along are you? 6 weeks today!

How are you feeling? I woke up this morning feeling hungover, of all things. Obviously I am not drinking, but just felt kind of off and with bad heartburn, indigestion and a foggy feeling in my head. So far I've avoided MS or any aversions, but I think my luck may be running out. I also feel nausea after eating, but I felt that before conceiving so that isn't really anything new.

Rants/Raves? We have a spot at a daycare next to my office!! I've heard from other moms that finding daycare placement is one of the biggest anxiety producing experiences so I am so relieved we got this figured out so early on. One less thing to worry about. 

Questions? Not at the moment, but I am sure I'll think of some soon.

Biggest FTM concern? Too many to type! I think I am most worried about how this will change my relationship between me and my husband. We are a very solid unit, but as they say, a baby changes everything. Also, we are the first couple to have a baby so I know this will have an impact on my social life with non-parent friends.

GTKY: What's something you've done, that you never thought you would have done? I moved across the country by myself. Looking at the life I created for myself without the safety net of family and childhood friends is something I am really proud of. 

abjm0325

How far along are you?  5w2d

How are you feeling? Tired, back aches, bloated

Rants/Raves? I can’t wait for my first appointment next Tuesday! We also are having an inspection done on a house we’re hoping to buy that day, so Tuesday can’t come fast enough!

Questions? What are you all reading? I’m reading through the Mayo Clinic pregnancy book right now, but I’m looking for additional recommendations.

Biggest FTM concern? That I’ll mess something up or not know what to do with my baby.

GTKY: What's something you've done, that you never thought you would have done? I lived with a family in Ecuador that I didn’t know for a month while I was in college.

 

@kat0607 Glad you will be talking with your doctor!

@SaphireSweetie88 Wow, what a challenging story. Thank you for sharing. Even the fact that you’re worrying about how to be a good mom means you’re already doing something right.

@GlitterFish Congrats on paying off the loans!

@lfk2013 I hate that so many people don’t get paid leave. L

@RubyRedPirate I worry about asking stupid questions too! I think we just have to remember that every mom was asking these same questions at one point.

SaphireSweetie88

@abjm0325

Thanks! I forgot you and I have the same appointment date in November lol. I will be waiting to see how yours goes!