Has anyone announced pregnancy to family before ultrasound?

Princessandpea

My first appointment is today with a nurse but I won't see the Dr and have ultrasound until December. I plan to announce to family at Thanksgiving. I really wanted to announce after my ultrasound but it would be hard being around everyone and not telling. 

JAGinMI

I have been pregnant 3 times before this and I told close family and some close friends every time before we had an ultrasound. Due to the outcome of my last pregnancy, I regretted it, and this time I am waiting for my ultrasound. However, lots of people do not regret it even if there is a bad outcome, so it's really just whatever you are comfortable with. If you would tell these people that you had a miscarriage, then tell them you are pregnant. If you think you would want to keep it private, wait. I don't mean to be negative, this is just how I think about it now.

kfry22

We told some family and a few very close friends already. I'm eight weeks. My first appointment is not until December as well. I'm really bad at keeping secrets and I also wanted a few people to know in case anything bad happened with this pregnancy. 

mrlight

We told our family and closest friends the day we got a positive test.  We're really close with our families and many people were aware of the struggle we have had over the past two years to get pregnant.  We figured, the more people that know, the more people praying for us!

mkrel

With my last pregnancy, that resulted in a loss, we had told our parents and two close friends before the ultrasound. This time we waited until after the ultrasound. Although we would have told them again if we had a loss at the time, seeing them get excited and go through the emotional roller coaster of the last pregnancy made it harder to take.  Everyone was checking on me and even though they meant well, it almost made the limbo period worse.

That being said, I don't live near family so if I were in your situation and was seeing family at Thanksgiving I'm sure we would have decided to share the news again before the ultrasound.  

emichelle86

My first pregnancy I told my mom before I told my husband. We tell our families and close friends right away. They know what is going on in our lives and if something happened we would need all of their support. 

JAGinMI

MKRLTX said:

With my last pregnancy, that resulted in a loss, we had told our parents and two close friends before the ultrasound. This time we waited until after the ultrasound. Although we would have told them again if we had a loss at the time, seeing them get excited and go through the emotional roller coaster of the last pregnancy made it harder to take.  Everyone was checking on me and even though they meant well, it almost made the limbo period worse.

That being said, I don't live near family so if I were in your situation and was seeing family at Thanksgiving I'm sure we would have decided to share the news again before the ultrasound.  

Yes, you articulated exactly how I felt and why I ended up regretting it. I would just prefer to tell them after if it happened again.

halfthetree

This is my 4th pregnancy and for every single one, I call my sister from the bathroom before I tell anyone else. It's a tradition now! 

For our previous 3, we told family the first time we saw them. This one I feel is our last baby, and have been savouring the secret. If we experienced another loss, I would still tell them. However we have two children who I'm not sure could properly cope with a loss, so part of our not sharing the news is so that there are no slip ups in front of the kids. 

Wino0920

4th pregnancy, hopefully 3rd child here. My first two pregnancies I told people right away. With me, I see my family and friends a lot and they would know because my wine IV wouldn't be attached. I didn't announce on social media until after. 

My 3rd pregnancy I did the same thing and it resulted in a miscarriage. I never regretted anything. I am a very open person and had tons of help and support around to get me through it. 

Now this is my 4rth pregnancy and we did everything the same again and just had my first u/s today. 

BellaO21

JAGinMI said:

I have been pregnant 3 times before this and I told close family and some close friends every time before we had an ultrasound. Due to the outcome of my last pregnancy, I regretted it, and this time I am waiting for my ultrasound. However, lots of people do not regret it even if there is a bad outcome, so it's really just whatever you are comfortable with. If you would tell these people that you had a miscarriage, then tell them you are pregnant. If you think you would want to keep it private, wait. I don't mean to be negative, this is just how I think about it now.

This. 100%
I only told the people that I knew I would lean on for support if something were to happen, last one ended in a m/c so I'm overly cautious of who I tell and when now. My parents, SS, and in-laws still don't know and won't until thanksgiving when I'm closer to the 2nd trimester so I feel more "in-the-clear".  

doodleoodle

If there will be young children at your family Thanksgiving then I wouldn't make a big announcement to everybody for two reasons:
1) If the worst were to happen it could devastate the children to know that that is a thing that happens.
2) Small children say whatever pops into their head and so, again, if the worst were to happen they may want to talk about it the next time they see you and you likely will not want to have that conversation.

Mistiemorning

With my son I told everyone except work and public before the ultrasound because I can't keep a secret. He's 8 now! The 2nd we told all friends and family immediately again and we miscarried. It as devastating especially knowing everyone was waiting for an ultrasound picture on appointment day. This time we told a smaller circle of friends and siblings only. We don't want everyone getting excited at the risk of another miscarriage but want some support and excitement from those closest to us. They all know we are scared we will miscarry again so it's nice to have support. I personally son want to announce to anyone else until our 2nd scan. Its definitely a personal decision! 

BelhurstBride

We've always told, and continued to do so this time, immediate family and close friends right away. Everyone else we waited. 

This time I want to wait until after the results of the genetic screening. 

NamelessAria

There is no "right" time to tell people really. You just have to do what is right for you and your family. If you feel like you'd want/need their support should something go wrong absolutely tell them earlier. If you feel like it would be easier to grieve with just you and your husband should something go wrong maybe wait till you've had a good ultrasound and possibly till you've made it to the "safe" second trimester.

I know after my first loss it was easier for me to discuss it within the safe space of a miscarriage/TTCAL group on-line. My husband needed to tell his family to get their support. He leans so heavily on his family in times of stress of sadness and he just really needed them to go through he grief. So even though we'd agreed not to tell anyone he ended up telling his family about the pregnancy after the loss. I felt like once his family knew I had to tell my family. And while it helped my husband to have our families there for us it was a lot harder for me. I hated being bombarded with questions and given cliche responses that were meant to help but only made it worse. I didn't want anyone else to tell me "at least you can get pregnant!" or that it "wasn't meant to be." I didn't want to hear how it "wasn't God's will" and all that. And having our families know just added extra hardship for me in a time that was already hard enough. So everyone is just different. If, God forbid, something where to go wrong you may be like me and want to keep it to yourself. Or you may be like my husband and need to tell family to get through it together. Just decide what would be easier/better for you and do that, whatever that is. Don't worry about people telling you that you announced too soon or whatever. There is no "too soon." It's just all very personal.

Hopefully nothing goes wrong and you and you family get to celebrate this pregnancy and your baby when s/he is born next year.

anitamargarita_82

Well we told everyone as soon as we found out.  My husband couldn't contain himself.  This is his second child, our first and he's so much more excited to be having baby now that he was 19 years ago with his daughter.  I knew the risks of telling everyone early..  I just crossed my fingers and hoped for the best.  I think you'll know when the time is right.  Plus I drink a lot of wine as well just like one of the ladies already said so my family would have known right away something was up. 

Waiting4Fred

I told my mom and dad immediately.  Other than that, no.

berg

We are waiting until Thanksgiving to tell our families in person as we live out of state.  Our first u/s was this past Monday.  If we still lived closer or if we had seen them sooner, we would have told them already.  This is just how it's worked out so far.  I did however tell one of my close friends who is also pregnant with her first.  She is about 10 weeks ahead of me.  It's so helpful to me to have someone in a similar situation that I can turn to when things seem weird or scary for these first couple of months while my mom is still in the dark.  As almost every PP has said, it's really up to you and what you're comfortable with.

owensmom0807

We have told most of our family and friends and haven't been to the doctor yet.

glitterfish-2

We told our families at 5 weeks. No appointments yet, but I did the betas.

mezalune

With our first, I shared the news with close friends immediately, but we kept the surprise for a Christmas announcement at 6 weeks (still very early.) We are doing the same this time around with a Thanksgiving announcement to family.  I love the idea of sharing the news when the whole family is together in one place.  This time I will be 9 weeks along and will have already seen the MD.  I agree with others - if you would rely on people should you have a loss, then tell them before.  Certainly everyone is different!

shmarpler

With DD, we announced to our parents on Christmas day. I was 9 weeks, and made them promise not to say anything. I really wasn't ready to have anyone else know, but it was the first grand baby on both sides of the family, so we knew everyone would be over the moon. I didn't have an ultrasound or sonogram until the anatomy scan at 20 weeks.

Really, it's up to you. If you think it might be too soon, Christmas might be a good time. 

silliegirlie143

We also live out-of-state and will visit both sides of our family for Thanksgiving so we will share the news then. We will be 12 weeks by then and have heard the baby's heartbeat. We may not have a U/S done by then but we are sharing anyways. 

I told my work already because they thought I had the flu but I wasn't going home for the day. 

I agree with all the "do what makes you feel comfy" advice. I would want work to know if something went wrong because they are my day-to-day support. My family would be crushed if something bad happened so we are waiting a little longer to tell them.

Princessandpea

Thanks for all the responses! My first appointment went well today and I had my blood work done so at least I will know my hcg levels. I know the range is wide on what's normal but as long as they aren't low. My ultrasound is scheduled for December 6th. I will probably still announce to family at Thanksgiving but ask them to hold off telling friends until after my next appointment. I probably won't announce on Facebook until Christmas or new years but we'll see!

allywat

I told my family a few close friends my last pregnancy and did this time as well. It really is just a personal choice, I get so excited I have to tell some people. 

shmarpler

Princessandpea said:

Thanks for all the responses! My first appointment went well today and I had my blood work done so at least I will know my hcg levels. I know the range is wide on what's normal but as long as they aren't low. My ultrasound is scheduled for December 6th. I will probably still announce to family at Thanksgiving but ask them to hold off telling friends until after my next appointment. I probably won't announce on Facebook until Christmas or new years but we'll see!

We are planning something similar this time. We plan to tell my parents on Thanksgiving, since they will be visiting from out of state, and Facebook announcement after New Years. We haven't decided if we are going to tell my in-laws in person at Christmas, or on Thanksgiving via Skype to keep it "even."

djf911

With my first I was 19 and told family as soon as we found out because we'll I was kinda freaking out. With my 2nd I was 36 and found out when I was 18 weeks so at that point we told everyone right away - he is now almost 14 months. This time I want to wait and tell everyone after our ultrasound which will be at 9 weeks and on Black Friday. We might hold off until Christmas but not sure yet. I will need to tell my 18 yr old and my BF's 14 yr old before we tell anyone else. 

fionalouise007

With our first we told everyone in our family and close friends really early, about 6-8w. I had an early MC a few months ago and told family as soon I knew we were pregnant and although it was hard to tell our parents what happened when it happened they were a huge support. A couple of weeks after I told close friends what had happened. This pregnancy we told our parents and I told one close friend (who had an early MC at the same time as I did) straight away, and a few close friends since then but we are waiting for our first scan on Monday or our 12w anatomy scan to tell the whole world. In my personal experience I think telling the right people early is ok because they are the people who will carry you and be there for you if something goes wrong, I imagine it to be a very lonely and scary experience without that kind of support, but everyone is different so it depends on what you are comfortable with.

pghctwife

I told my family immediately each time. I'm very close with them so it was a no brainer, even if there was a sad outcome. Plus, my mom is my ultrasound childcare so dh  can come too.

in the past we told my ils maybe around 6w or so but we still haven't yet this time, though we have had an ultrasound already. They are judgmental and not hte most supportive, we aren't that close with them. Sip is basically a massive bitch, who told dh that I was going to trick him into a baby, so iwth this surprise (not a trick of course) she is going to be nasty about it. I think he will tell htem after the genetic testing, so we can be comfortable that it is a viable pregnancy and know hte sex too.