Monday Bitchfest (11/7)

canavara

I feel like it's been a couple of weeks since we've had one of these, which seems bizarre since we're all in third tri now and should be crankier than ever, right? Right?!

raquel87

Ohhh I''l start! Baby boy must have gone through a growth spurt over the last week as I feel like a beached whale! Also my heartburn which has been manageable with Zantac has now gotten out of control and I have literally thrown up 7 times in the last 2 days! I could only stomach ice cream for dinner last night! 

Also I hate mobile bump!!!!
It is dumb.....the end! 

litzi-2

I absolutely hate political tv ads. I never watched tv until bedrest and now when i do, i just become irritated from all of these stupid fear ads. thank goodness its almost over.

canavara

@Litzi Yes! Even when it's a candidate I support, I'm just tired of how repetitive it's gotten. 

Mine: I've MBFed about this before but to continue, my mom is obsessed with being a grandmother but I can't really figure out why exactly because she seems so removed and disinterested in actually participating in things. Early on, she offered to throw us a baby shower. Weeks later, I called her and asked, "So about this baby shower..." and basically was met with, "Oh uh, I'd love to do that but I can't." So we ended up having other family throw it on our behalf. Ugh, but whatever.

She came to the shower yesterday and just ... sat there. And she gave us a gift certificate to Target but she only addressed the gift certificate and the card to me and didn't include my fiancee in anything. And then when she left, she didn't even say goodbye to him, just me. Didn't talk to anyone at the shower, refused to participate in any of the games, and was just really awkward the entire time. I know she doesn't have any hard feelings against him, but she's just so removed from it all. Meanwhile, his parents are just amazing to me and treat me exactly like someone should treat a daughter in law. We don't agree on everything but I know I'm family to them.

And now my mom is making this huge deal that I have to call her the second I go into labor. And again, I can't figure out why since she's such a helpless, unwilling participant in anything. Not to mention she doesn't even have a cell phone so I can't just call or text her. I don't intend to have her in the room during labor (and she knows this) since I already have a doula and my fiancee as support people and knowing that labor can be a very long process and knowing she's not capable of independently taking care of basic needs for herself, I don't know what she expects.

christac1010

@Litzi I literally just text my DH that I'm losing my mind with all the political commercials. And what's up with all the holiday commercials? Halloween was only one week ago! 

Figuring out FMLA and STD is ridiculous. Why is it so complicated? Also why is it so shitty? I'm just trying to do what's best for my child and its putting my job in jeopardy. I'm not choosing to lay around all day. I'm trying to give my son time to grow and develop. Why am I being punished? Seriously America. Get your shit together. 

katesmama0706

Teething and Daylight Savings is kicking sleep's butt around here and I am so over it. And in my rush to get stuff done while DD napped I dropped and shattered the butter dish I inherited from my great grandmother when she died so I wasted a good half hour of nap time crying about it. 
Oh. And I'm dreading all the election fall out that will happen no matter who wins at this point. Can it be over yet? 

canavara

@christac1010 FMLA is literally the worst thing. It's so ridiculous how it's not even applicable to small businesses either and that there are people who really think that just having a law in place that protects your job without providing paid leave is "progress" in any way.

emtimme

@canavara I am so sorry you're dealing with that. Does your mom have a history of weirdness like that? I know you mentioned that you've MBF'd about this issue before, but has the relationship always been strained or is this all brought on by the pregnancy/baby?

I have one this week. My husband had me speak to his grandma on the phone yesterday, which I do fairly regularly. She's generally super amazing and I love how accepting of me she is--she's been a better grandma to me than my own. Anyway, she asked if we'd chosen a name (which I found odd, since we decided months ago and his parents have known all along) so I told her. She was clearly not a fan of the first name (Vera) and inquired about the middle, which is Leigh. Her first name is Leah and while we're not naming our daughter after her, we thought it was sort of a nice nod anyway. Well, she's Jewish and launched into a lecture about how, in the Jewish faith, you should name a child after someone who has passed away. I am not Jewish and my husband was raised agnostic, so we didn't have any idea. She made it clear she was offended by the whole thing and said she won't "tell me what to do" but thinks we should choose something else (not happening).

canavara

@emtimme She's always been this weird. She's just very withdrawn. There's some level of shyness and introversion in there that I can personally relate to and excuse, but then there's a deeper level of apathy and dependency that makes every interaction with her very difficult, no matter who it is or what their relationship to her is. Example: We used to live in an apartment that was maybe 4 blocks from the Interstate. She lived 45 minutes away and every time she drove to visit, I'd have to walk to the freeway exit and meet her in her car and then ride to my apartment because she was unable to understand simple driving directions to a place 4 blocks from the freeway exit  It sounds insane. And it is.

emtimme

Yikes @canavara! As a somewhat shy introvert myself, I can also relate on a certain level but your example is extreme. Hopefully she’s able to chill out, be more present (in a good way) and enjoy time with you AND your fiancé once baby arrives. 

cabu14

Work. 1. I don't wanna. 2.  They have me so busy I can't give 100% to anything. This really bothers me bc it's not in my nature to not do my best work. They have someone better fit for (as she has done it many times) something I'm doing but bc they overbooked her I have to step in. So I'm stressed out and the client is stressed out and it's frustrating. I'm booked solid until my baby comes which by the way 3. they haven't talked to me about my benefits yet and it's really freaking annoying.  But now that I'm booked solid when will we even have time?!?! Gah!!

Kittievr4

My kid has a cold, again. the Internet company is being a pain and extremely uncooperative. ugh

karaelaine1991

DD has officially entered the no stage.  Enough said. 

ashanne88

@emtimme I understand that naming a new baby after a deceased relative is a Jewish tradition and can see being offended if you were literally naming the baby after her since she's my deceased. However, it's a middle name and a completely different spelling. I'm not really sure I get where she's coming from. Also, I adore the name Vera Leigh. 

sarahmsoda

@emtimme - This is the reason I haven't told anyone, people really feel the need to share their 2cents on names before a child is born as though you didn't go through a lot of effort and thought coming up with the name you decide. We have chosen to name our child after they are born simply for this reason because once it's in writing they can't really have a say and hopefully will keep their opinions to themselves. We have shared our middle name though which is after my grandpa and everyone seems fairly supportive (although I feel like my DH's side isn't quite sure why we had to pick my grandpa but we have our reasons) 

@canavara - Sorry about the situation with your mom, that does sound frustrating and hard to navigate. Is your fiance offended by how she seems to dismiss him? Maybe about the labour you can just explain to her you can try to inform her but if she isn't able to be reached on the first try you won't keep trying and she would be better off waiting for the baby to be born anyways as you don't want anyone at the labour. 

aishmc

Daylight Savings Time is making me so cranky.

My MBF is that Shutterfly is the worst! I ordered thank you cards with pictures, ornaments, and a calender yesterday and my confirmation email stated I would be having them sent to my house. I get the tracking info for the 3 different packages and they sent all 3 to my old house. When I called to let them know they somehow got it mixed up, the first customer service lady recommended I go to my old house and knock on the door to talk to the people about my packages. Wtf? I'm so irritated.

stumptownmama

@aishmc no! That's terrible customer service! I've been working on a photo book and yesterday it froze and poof, gone. Shutterfly can suck it. 

andrawrmeda2

Mine is the SIL again. The youngest. E is looking at getting a new job as we can't afford to live anywhere but this apartment on our current incomes. Her husband referred him to the job he had the interview at, but if he gets it, he'll be 2nd shift with me. Which isn't terrible cause well all work the same shift 230 to 1130. But SIL is insisting we let her babysit if he gets the job. My current babysitter has already said she has no issue keeping DS, but I brought up that when DD comes, well need someone when I go back to work still. And she kinda said she didn't mind but at the same time was a little wishy was about the idea of having 2 under 2. Which I can understand. But neither of us was SIL to babysit, because she has made it known several times already in this pregnancy that she doesn't approve of the fact I am going to breast feed again. I have  made it very clear that this time I'd like to go as long as I can, if possible without at all, using formula. With DS I couldn't pump well, but had no idea what I was doing really either. This time I have a few new ideas to try and really hope to be able to pump all she will need. I loved breastfeeding my son and cannot wait to do it again. With my son, she would always make him a bottle and waste formula when I was sitting right there able to feed him, then get mad that she wasted the formula even though she didn't ask. With this one, she's even "offered" to go buy formula for her, although he told me I'll need to pay her back. Nope. Not happening. And I told her that I would be pumping and she gave me this look of disgust and flat out said she wouldn't feed a baby breastmilk in a bottle cause it looks gross. Well I guess you won't be feeding my child then. And E has told her multiple times that it's covered, we have someone and she just keeps whining how we never let DS spend the night or she never gets to watch him. But she won't even consider following the simple things we ask her to not do so why would we send our child to be with her all night long??? She has this thing about giving the little kids a bath everytime were at grandparents late, and getting them into night clothes. I don't take jammies with us anywhere cause we have a bedtime routine at home and I don't want to break it. Plus my son is like me, he has sensitive skin and breaks out from certain soaps. The last 2 times she a brought a bubble bath out and given him a bath in it, he got little red bump rashes on his arms and chest. And she just shrugs it off like it's no big deal. I can't deal with her right now, she likes to try to be pushy and I'm about to snap on her. Sorry for the long rant, even her own brother is fed up with her.

moosette113

@emtimme Like @ashanne88 said, because Leigh is a middle name (and sounds beautiful with Vera!) and spelled differently, it's not "violating" the Ashkenazi tradition of naming after a deceased relative. It's actually considered an honor to be named after a living relative in the Sephardic tradition. Either way, you chose a wonderful name!

colleenkevin

I am so busy at work and I just don't want to do anything at all.  

AshleySparkle720

MIL decided to have the family birthday party for her youngest this upcoming sunday.... she decided this after dh told her I'm working all weekend..

Kurtni

@AshleySparkle720 Uggh my MIL pulls that shit too, then bitches about how I'm never at her functions. I work every Sunday and that's the day she plans everything.

 It's not just me though, she does it to her actual kids. We will get a text Saturday evening "dinner at my house tomorrow, eat at 5, bring ____" Um, nope. We have plans. You can't just expect us to drop everything and show up at your beck and call. Holidays are the worst, she never asks about plans with other family members, just picks a time and expects everyone to be there.

AshleySparkle720

@Kurtni yes! I'm never there for HER family activities, but I'm always at my side of the families.. conveniently she always checks my schedule with dh not me and then plans things. Strange right? *eye roll*

streulim

FMLA enough said. I work at a university and it's very difficult to get questions answered. In order for me to keep my insurance I have to use all my sick time, vacation time and personal holiday time for the 6 weeks I'm taking off. So if I have to take any time off after I go back I'm screwed because I had to use it for maternity leave. I would take more but I can't afford it would really love to take my full 12 weeks but not possible due to insurance. How is this progress?? In some countries you get paid maternity leave and a nanny for the first year of baby's life. We're supposedly a first world country. We sure don't treat parents like we are. Sad...

BriannaE129129

Being sick while pregnant is the WORST!!!! Usually i just chug dayquil and go about my day. Now i can't sleep, can only take some basic meds, my stomach kills from the coughing and sneezing and i just want to live in bed!!!!! 

emy730

This dumpster fire, err, I mean election needs to be over. I am so sick of all of it. 

ashanne88

@andromedacorrine Holy moly your SIL sounds like a piece of work and pretty immature.  I'm not really sure what's so gross about breast milk either?  Also, I wouldn't let your DS stay with her either if she doesn't respect any of your rules and requests.  Geez.

canavara

My manager just told me we have some policy that 50% of a team has to be working at any given time--2 of 4 people on my team have already scheduled PTO at the end of the year and so by company policy, I have to work at 38/39 weeks pregnant, and I'm just like, "I'm not wanting to take PTO at the end of the year because I'm going on a fun vacation. I'm wanting to take it because there's a good chance I might pop at any moment!" My manager said he was going to talk with an exec about it later today and I have a feeling that exec is going to be like, "Yeeeaah we're going to have to bend the policy in this case because that's a 39 weeks pregnant woman is a total flight risk" but way to stress me out about it before a final decision is made, dude.

andrawrmeda2

ashanne88 said:

@andromedacorrine Holy moly your SIL sounds like a piece of work and pretty immature.  I'm not really sure what's so gross about breast milk either?  Also, I wouldn't let your DS stay with her either if she doesn't respect any of your rules and requests.  Geez.

My fiance has even said he doesn't want her to watch the kids. She's been this way since our first was born, like she's the only one that can be a mother. We were gonna try cloth diapers if we got a house in time (apartment currently with no washer/dryer) and she stuck up her nose like it was the worst idea. Like....it's a lot cheaper!? Well not for us cause we do laundry at the laundrymat but you know lol

15caitlin

I am so ready for this election to be over! I can't handle all the ads and posts on social media. I know it is my fault for putting things off but there is still so much I need to get done before baby girl is here! Between the holidays, a toddler, working and exhaustion I feel like it will never get done. 

mommy2ane

Why didn't I register to vote by mail?! I'm in line, in the dark with a 2 year old wiping McDonalds all over me. I'm so done already and if I didn't feel like we have a responsibility to vote (on state and local measures), I would just leave. 

hjmorgan-2

Well dang, I thought the FB drama would end once the election was over... 'unfriending' people on facebook over a disagreement, NOT EVEN A HEATED DEBATE... is soooo petty......

ceclarlinetlo

I'm so glad I don't have a Facebook. 

LastMango

ceclarlinetlo said:

I'm so glad I don't have a Facebook. 

I'm trying to stay away from it. The jackassery is strong today.

TexasGal24

Ever have a week so jacked up that it leaves you speechless? That's last week for me. The changes in my professional and personal life have left my head spinning.

I had a midwife appointment last Thursday where I actually had to ask if my crying was hurting the baby because my stomach muscles were straining so hard. I woke up to Braxton Hicks in the middle of the night one night, and had 7 within 30 minutes of each other. I was so nervous that I had caused myself to go into pre-term labor with all my stress. 

Sorry for the ambiguous post but if I start typing specifics I will emotionally tailspin. 

ceclarlinetlo

@TexasGal24 - I'm sorry your life is going through so many stressful changes all at once.  Do you think it would help to have a few sessions with a counselor to help you work through your feelings? 

TexasGal24

@ceclarlinetlo It's just this last week, and certainly pain that will fade over time. The events that happened just happened on top of each other and totally overwhelmed me. Actually, when I spoke with my midwife I broke down and told her what happened. She was really awesome in listening and just giving me a space to release some of the stress. 

ashanne88

@TexasGal24 Huge hugs.  I'm sorry everything happened at once and you've had such a terrible week.  I'm glad you found a safe space to get some of it off your chest with your midwife though.

canavara

@TexasGal24 I'm so sorry you're having such a bad week. Being stressed out while pregnant is so stressful in itself. It's awesome that you were able to vent it out some to your midwife--hope things look up for you soon.

amaren-2

My sisters are all fighting about the election. One of my sisters (1st) went on a crazy rampage on FB yesterday because she was upset Trump won, she was acting like a child. She hurt the feelings of my more conservative sister (2nd). And then my other sister (3rd sister) is all moping and upset.

They all are hosting my baby shower next week and there have been talk of "I don't want to come because I don't want to talk politics" "You hurt my feelings so I just won't come" 

I'm over here like, IDGAF about who you support or voted for, but if any of you pull shit at my shower I will kill you. Pregnancy rage is strong in me so if you try and pull something I will single handily make you feel like the smallest person on earth and have no remorse for it. I'm giving it until next week for them to appologize to each other and make up, but if not, I will release the hormones.

therealfrizzle

My best friend, who offered to throw my shower back on April 27th when I got my BFP, is now complaining about having so much to do for the shower and having to deal with costs. I can understand being overwhelmed by RSVPs not coming in when they should, but she doesn't have any idea what she's going to do for games and entertainment or the fact that there will be kids there, which she's known since she offered to throw my shower that it would be co-ed and people would be bringing kids. I had a feeling she would put everything off until the last minute and then complain about being overwhelmed because she's done this kind of thing in the past, but I'm just over it right now. She's had 6 months to figure out games and what materials will be needed and now she's got one week left. And I have the suspicion that she cut my MIL out of the planning, which I told her a few times that she wanted to help and she had a friend who offered to do all of the food as well, which is another thing she's stressing about.  

Am I wrong to feel ragey about this? I'm a huge planner and I would've had everything planned a long time ago (best friend isn't even dating, but I've already got plans for a Harry Potter themed bridal party for when she does get engaged, that's how bad I am). I think the biggest thing is that she's cut MIL out of planning a shower for her first grandkid. At this point, I just want to say, I'll handle all the game and entertainment stuff so you can focus on you...