Why bother? Grrrrrr!

tkedwards13

Dude, I accidentally posted in the "normal" trying to get pregnant forum.  All y'all with I got pregnant easy or the ones starting off with no issues... don't be mean.  Do they not realize it is a hard road!? Me, my cat, and my bottle of wine are just going to chill... mmmm maybe some chocolate, too! 

funkykey

Whoa - I clicked through to see what it was like, looked like a bit of a pile-on. Ugh. Probably not what you needed at the time. I'm new to this whole message board business myself, so I'm sure I'm making about 1000 mistakes! Who knew that each board had it's own separate TOU, and that they were enforced so differently by each board's participants? I'm also learning a little bit about the different boards, I suppose by "lurking" - "Snarky and T-TTC" doesn't seem to have so much action (I didn't want to leave you hanging), "Infertility Veterans" is not where I am, and "Infertility" seems full of women going through way more than me, but then just "Trying to Get Pregnant" isn't right either, seems super general. I dunno. I hope you find the right board for you!

I also know that I sometimes seem more abrupt in writing than I do IRL - I cringe sometimes when I re-read what I've posted, and imagine how someone else may have read it, especially if I'm writing to someone vulnerable - maybe they weren't meaning to come across so harshly, as much as they wanted to enforce their TOU. Who knows - I've seen a couple of those commenters on other threads and they've been really sweet, so maybe it just seemed worse. Gah.

Anyway, I'm so sorry about your TTC troubles, your MC sounds awful. TTC troubles can make you crazy - the kind of crazy where you think you're pregnant when you're not, or where you start to get paranoid about why you aren't. So lame and shitty, all of it. 

I don't know what's happened since you first posted in that other thread - like if you've had a BFP or not - but I will keep my finger crossed that you had a false negative, and that you are KU now! Good luck, lots of baby dust wishes to you!

tkedwards13

Thank you! I just jumped back on here... I am honestly terrified of posting again. I don't want to talk to the dang nurses again if I don't have to, so if someone else had similar things... I just hate calling them again. You make me feel like there are nice people. 

funkykey

Ugh, I know. It's complicated. For me, it's like I don't want to call them because I don't want to be so open about this very private aspect of my life, but then I really need help, except I'm sad that I need help. I also don't want to call them because I want to know what is happening with my own body, but I don't, and I'm scared that I'm not pregnant and so hopeful that I might be, and ugh. Plus, I feel defeated, like: "of course it's another no, I can't believe I even hoped this time."

It sounds like you've been through an awful lot, I can't imagine. I hope you have given yourself a lot of time and space to heal, both literally and figuratively! 

We haven't been through as much as other couples who struggle to TTC, but even so, once or twice my DH has wondered if we're "supposed" to be parents, like: "this is harder than I thought it would be". Which I was so amazed by, like: "What?! parenting is hard - you don't give up just because it gets hard. We're lucky we get to experience this, because it will make us better parents." When I have a bad day, I try to remind myself of that. That, and I think how nice it will be to look at my children and to know that I really did do everything in my power to make them - that I had to put my whole self in. 

I don't know where you are with this, but I hope that might help you too! Good luck!