So, I'll try to keep this as short as possible. Basically, my problem is that I still live "at home" with my father and my aunt (his sister). To give you a little background, I'm 20 years old, enganged to a wonderful man, and I'm at 23 weeks. I live at home because I can't afford a place of my own. My pregnancy was unintended.
My aunt and I have had a bad relationship since we moved in with her when I was 4. She's manipulative, controlling, and she throws major tantrums when she doesn't get her way. I am one of two people in the family that tries very hard not to enable her behavior. Everyone else says to just ignore her or give her what she wants and make her happy. I'm a take no crap kind of person, and think this is a load of crap. She's 60 years old and needs to learn to deal with things like an adult.
Well, ever since I told her that I'm pregnant she has been constantly telling me what to do, what to eat, and to get more exercise. I know these are important things. I eat a very nutritious diet and I exercise regularly, but I also have terrible morning sickness even now. She asks me what food I can eat, and I make sure to communicate with her what I can't. She insists that she wants to help me stay healthy, but then she purposely goes and buys the very foods I've told her I can't eat at all or that I can't keep down. I generally try to buy my own food, but my financial situation currently doesn't allow me to as much as I would like.
She's getting very demanding about housework. She has always expected me to do more than everyone else, but now its like she purposely makes messes just so she can demand I clean them up. I get a lot of passive aggressive notes about how the house is a mess, and in her last one she even dared to demand that I pay her money because she cleaned up the kitchen (I admittedly had left a few dishes in the sink along with her pile. The rest of the mess was hers).
And to make matters even more interesting, I finally found a job after having been unemployed for a little while (my last day at my previous job was a week before I found out that I'm pregnant). She was very pushy about me finding a new job. That's fair. I was looking like crazy, but sometimes it takes time to find work. But its not goid enough. She's now demanding that I find a second job.
She keeps trying to tell me how to deal with my pregnancy and how to care for my baby afterwards. She is telling me not to bother with breastfeeding because I'm "a wimp who can't deal with being off my migraine medication." My migraines last weeks at a time and usually blind me. I have to be medicated to function. She also got mad at me when I told her that I'm having my baby shower before I have the baby (the plan is about 6 weeks before my due date). She has even gone so far as to criticize my choice in what hospital I'm going to deliver at. She just has no concept of boundaries.
I'm having a lot of problems with her. She's stressing me out to no end, and I've tried to ask my dad to help me with her, but he won't say anything to her even though he agrees she's being unreasonable. If I say anything to her, she goes and tells the whole family how I'm horrible to her and ungrateful and then I get to deal with them. Please offer advice if you have it. This can't continue. Its not healthy for anyone involved.