I had my lunch while she was saying this which was chicken, brown rice, asparagus, brussel sprouts, and butter squash. I mean, I think I'm doing alright without kale. I just don't understand her persistence.
@kjd291 hopefully no one got a picture of it! I agreed to it before I got pregnant and I'm just glad that the bride was okay with me sitting down most of the day.
@mcdonald-bailey that lunch sounds super nutritious.Your co-worker sounds like an ass.
I had my lunch while she was saying this which was chicken, brown rice, asparagus, brussel sprouts, and butter squash. I mean, I think I'm doing alright without kale. I just don't understand her persistence.
Sounds like she has a personal problem. That's super healthy. Also sounds delicious.
If anyone is bored or is looking for an inspiring birth story to read, I highly recommend reading the story of actress Eva Amurri Martino's birth of her son. She's the daughter of Susan Sarandon if you're not sure who she is. She had a med free home birth and even if a home birth isn't your cup of tea, it's still an inspiring story to read. She really opened up about all of the different emotions she was feeling and it made me so excited to meet this little person that I'm carrying. It just made me even more determined to go med free this time around (God willing). Anyway, here's the link: https://happilyevaafter.com/majors-birth-story/
@kiyamurph thanks for the story, it was really well written. I teared up about the part when she hugged her daughter goodbye.. As excited as I am for this baby I am dreading that last hug I give DS as an only child.
I did what I could! It was my sister's wedding that I was in, the other ones were other family members so I didn't stay too late or anything for those. The most super hero thing I did was agree to watch my sister's kids (youngest being a one year old) after the reception. I survived though!
I sat on the floor today to play with my toddler and for the first time I looked around thinking to myself how do I get up from this floor at the sametime DH is asking me "need some help".
This World Series game is killing me! I need to go to bed. I'm a Red Sox fan but routing for the Cubs and Joe Maddon made a terrible call dipping into the bull pen already! GAH...ok sorry calming down now..
I'm having a crazy moment, after talking with DH's aunt who is our realtor she said she can get us 25-35 grand above what we paid for our house a year and half ago if we sell in the next 6 months. We know we're gonna have to sell and buy bigger soon. I'm seriously considering bringing this up with DH. Last time left a bad taste in my mouth because it was so stressful and the idea of selling and buying and moving pregnant or with a newborn sounds delusional.
@librarymom917 We're in the same boat unfortunately. We're going to have to move at some point soon, whether it's before we have this baby or after. My husband's waiting to hear what his company wants to do with him because we may or may not move to Portland, OR from eastern WA. The difficult part is figuring out the best time to sell. The prices in our area have shot through the roof since we built 3, almost 4 years ago, and we can get back anywhere between $100-$125k profit. It's crazy, but the winter time is the worst time to sell. If we sell soon, we may not get as much back as we hope, but if we sell in the spring we'll have a toddler and a newborn. Moving is awful either way you slice it.
I live in a poor area and because of that 95% of my trick or treaters won't wear a costume tonight. It's also heavily Hispanic so they also don't say trick or treat, they just kind of stand there with their bags out and this expectant look on their face. I wish their parents would do something, anything for the costume...draw on their face with eyeliner, tie a towel around their neck as a cape...something!
as long they say thank u. i'm good with that. i have had some of those too.
as long they say thank u. i'm good with that. i have had some of those too.
This year was actually the opposite of last year! 95% of the kids were in costume and said trick or treat and thank you! I had a couple adults trick or treating, which....come on....go buy your own candy. The very last group of kids totally pissed me off. They were out without parental supervision, started grabbing at the candy bowl as soon as I opened the door, complained about the candy they got (all chocolate), started exchanging, and one of them grabbed an extra handful for his sister even though I never saw her.
Random pregnancy brain story - just dropped my dog off to be boarded for the weekend while we go out of town. Drove back home, and called out a greeting to the dog when I opened the door.
I just need a moment to get other people's opinions on this to see if maybe I'm being selfish or not. My husband and I were talking about names last week and we still haven't settled on anything or have any names that we're at least leaning towards. So he asks me if I thought about middle names. I told him that nothing is set in stone at all, but threw it out there that if we had a boy, I would consider Murphy, since that's my maiden name, hence the Murph in kiyamurph. He said he wasn't in love with it, but could live with it. Then he asked me about a girl's middle name. I said again, I haven't settled on it, but I would consider Joyce since it's my mom's middle name and she's a fantastic mother. She's everything a woman could want in a mother, but I really haven't put much thought into middle names at all.
A little backstory, our son's name is Oliver and he was named after my grandmother, Ollie. She died 6 years ago and she played a huge part in my life while growing up. Instead of my parents sending us to daycare, my grandparents were our daycare and would fix us breakfast before school and would pick us up after school when we were little. When I was pregnant with Oliver and I asked him if there was anyone in his family that he would consider naming our son after, he said that there was absolutely no one in his family that was worth naming our kid after (his father was never in his life).
Back to the present, I asked him if he had any middle names he was thinking of and he said that if it were a girl he would consider his mother's middle name, Faye. My face totally fell. I dropped the subject completely and started talking about something else. First of all, I do NOT like the name Faye. Not even close. But most importantly, it's his mother. I'm sure some of you had read about my heinous MIL, but she's the type of person that has good intentions and truly doesn't mean any harm, but she has a major disconnect between her brain and her mouth. She just does not think about how her words negatively affect people. Everything, and I do mean every. single. thing is about her. In short, she's selfish. And at times rude as hell. I don't genuinely hate her, but I have no respect for her. I cannot respect a woman that treated her son like second best (still does) to his older brother and made him feel worthless as a child. She always had to remind him how much she wanted girls, which of course made my husband feel unwanted. My husband says that he doesn't carry any resentment towards her now, but I know he does. I can tell by the way he talks to her. He may think that he's completely over everything that happened in the past, but I really don't think that he's fully dealt with those feelings and burying your feelings over something like that doesn't mean that you're over it. I once told him that I wanted to weep for the little boy that he was because no kid should ever be treated like that.
I spoke to my mom about all of this yesterday and she thinks that because we named our son after someone on my side of the family, she thinks I need to be fair and let him possibly give our child a name after his mother or someone on his side of the family. She thinks I'm being selfish about it, which honestly pissed me off, but to me it has nothing to do with being selfish. In her defense though, I didn't really go into all of the reasons why. I just told her that I couldn't do it. I take naming a kid after someone very seriously. It's an honor and to honor this next kid with his mother's name makes me sick. I couldn't stomach it. I would have no problem whatsoever if his mom was a nice person who didn't get on my last nerve with her selfishness and constantly acting like her second born isn't as important as her first, but that's not the case here. When I'm in her presence I mostly want to slap her. When my husband suggested her middle name I wanted to reply with, "over my dead body", but that would've been rude to say it bluntly like that out of the blue. My husband knows that his mom is not my favorite person, but he doesn't know my true feelings for her. I haven't found a nice way to tell him that his mother is someone that I have zero respect for and I don't think I ever will because she will never change. Never. She is who she is. If he's dead set on giving my MIL's middle name to our child (that we don't even know the sex of yet since we're team green, so it may not even happen), then we'll have to have a sit down discussion about why that just cannot be possible, but at the same time I don't want to offend him and his feelings. He doesn't hate his mom or anything. They talk once/week and when she's being ridiculous he'll let her know and stands up to her all the time, but after everything he's told me, I can't fathom why he would even consider possibly giving our kid a name after her. Am I being too sensitive about this? Am I making too big of a deal about it? Should I hope that it's just something that crossed his mind and not make a big deal about it unless he brings it up again, or should I let him in on my feelings now? I feel torn because while we don't even know it's a girl, this whole thing could all fade into dust if we have a boy, but then again a part of me wants to let him know that I don't even want this to be a possibility. Thoughts? Sorry for the novel long post!
as long they say thank u. i'm good with that. i have had some of those too.
This year was actually the opposite of last year! 95% of the kids were in costume and said trick or treat and thank you! I had a couple adults trick or treating, which....come on....go buy your own candy. The very last group of kids totally pissed me off. They were out without parental supervision, started grabbing at the candy bowl as soon as I opened the door, complained about the candy they got (all chocolate), started exchanging, and one of them grabbed an extra handful for his sister even though I never saw her.
Random pregnancy brain story - just dropped my dog off to be boarded for the weekend while we go out of town. Drove back home, and called out a greeting to the dog when I opened the door.
@kiyamurph the way you worded it, he said he would 'consider' his mom's middle name. That doesn't sound very decisive to me. If it were my DH and I in that situation (my DD's middle name is actually my late MIL's name, but it was my idea to begin with.. very different scenario), if he were to bring it up again I would just veto it. Maybe suggest another family name from his side that you would like instead?
@kiyamurph I think he is justified in considering his moms name. He may feel that his mom is amazing just as you feel your mom is amazing. I agree with PP in suggesting another family name from his side since you have one child named after one of your family members. I think you may be making too big of a deal out of it at the moment as you are not sure if it's a girl or not. You may be upset for no reason.
@kiyamurph sounds to me like you're over thinking it and worrying about an issue you don't have yet. Sounds like something id do! Overthinking is my specialty!!! IMO honesty is the best policy! Just ask DH if he feels he needs a family member from his side since you have one for your son? If he really cares: tell him you don't like that name, but you'd be willing to find another one if it matters that much to him. For me--I always like to remind myself that all my kids will have DH last name--so that totally counts as his side of the family
**edit to add: my DD middle name is Lillian - my mom's middle name & dad's grandmothers name. I will not be naming this LO or any in the future with DH's immediate family.
@kiyamurph i do agree that it's probably not an issue yet. Possible resolution though in case it will ease you mind: Does your MIL have a middle name that you like? maybe you could use that and then they could share a middle name and that could be their "special connection" yet you wouldn't have to use her real name... But again I wouldn't stress just yet and I agree that honesty is the best policy.
@kiyamurph i do agree that it's probably not an issue yet. Possible resolution though in case it will ease you mind: Does your MIL have a middle name that you like? maybe you could use that and then they could share a middle name and that could be their "special connection" yet you wouldn't have to use her real name... But again I wouldn't stress just yet and I agree that honesty is the best policy.
Faye is her middle name. Her first name is a name that even if it didn't belong to her I wouldn't like either.
@kiyamurph sounds to me like you're over thinking it and worrying about an issue you don't have yet. Sounds like something id do! Overthinking is my specialty!!! IMO honesty is the best policy! Just ask DH if he feels he needs a family member from his side since you have one for your son? If he really cares: tell him you don't like that name, but you'd be willing to find another one if it matters that much to him. For me--I always like to remind myself that all my kids will have DH last name--so that totally counts as his side of the family
**edit to add: my DD middle name is Lillian - my mom's middle name & dad's grandmothers name. I will not be naming this LO or any in the future with DH's immediate family.
@kiyamurph my MIL isn't my favorite either. She's cold, impatient, and doesn't really seem to be all that interested in me or my baby (her first grandchild) much. However, this baby will have her middle name as one of her middle names anyway. The way I see it, some parents aren't such great parents, but they are fantastic grandparents. I know my MIL is scared of babies, she had to have her mother come help her with my H because she was so scared of him. I'm hoping that she'll grow out of it as he grows up. In the grand scheme of things, middle names aren't used that much so it likely won't be a big deal anyway.
@kiyamurph my MIL isn't my favorite either. She's cold, impatient, and doesn't really seem to be all that interested in me or my baby (her first grandchild) much. However, this baby will have her middle name as one of her middle names anyway. The way I see it, some parents aren't such great parents, but they are fantastic grandparents. I know my MIL is scared of babies, she had to have her mother come help her with my H because she was so scared of him. I'm hoping that she'll grow out of it as he grows up. In the grand scheme of things, middle names aren't used that much so it likely won't be a big deal anyway.
You know what, this is excellent and I'm really glad that you mentioned this. I may want to punch her in the face, but she is fantastic with Oliver and loves him to pieces and I didn't think about the good grandparent aspect. She has her way of saying things that makes me want to scream because of the brain and mouth disconnect, but she does mean well. Thank you to those that responded to my ridiculously long post. I do appreciate it. I went back and read it and realized how I kind of ranted a bit and I am making too big a deal about something that may not even happen anyway. But man, the more I sat and stewed about it the more it really bugged the hell out of me, so I'm glad to have other voices of reason. Thank you ladies.
I was just sitting in my car (a silver Chevy Equinox) in the Costco parking lot catching up on TB and 2 random women walked up to the passenger door and opened it like they were about get in! So I looked at them and said Ummm I think you have the wrong car and they turned and walked away without even saying sorry. So I watched them for a second because I was completely shocked and wanted to see where their vehicle was and they both walked up to a big black truck and did the same thing! They eventually got into a blue minivan and drove away! How do you confuse a silver equinox and a black truck for your BLUE MINIVAN?! So weird!
Also- whenever I put my vehicle in park all of the doors automatically unlock....why is that a thing?! They never would have been able to open my door if my car didn't automatically unlock!
Also- whenever I put my vehicle in park all of the doors automatically unlock....why is that a thing?! They never would have been able to open my door if my car didn't automatically unlock!
My husband has the same car and I hate that about it! I don't get it. If one wants all doors to unlock then one could simply push the button. It shouldn't be an automatic thing.
@kiyamurph I completely agree! I'm perfectly capable of clicking the unlock button myself! Even though I do like that it automatically locks all the doors when you put it in drive!
@mrsyimster I would have done the same if they actually got into the car!!! They just opened the door and then when I told them they had the wrong car they closed it and walked away.
TMI: I have gross diarrhea this morning. I have to go to work because it is the last day of the quarter!! Just trying to steel myself to make the 30 minute drive.....
I'm having a crazy moment, after talking with DH's aunt who is our realtor she said she can get us 25-35 grand above what we paid for our house a year and half ago if we sell in the next 6 months. We know we're gonna have to sell and buy bigger soon. I'm seriously considering bringing this up with DH. Last time left a bad taste in my mouth because it was so stressful and the idea of selling and buying and moving pregnant or with a newborn sounds delusional.
We are planning to put our house on the market this April hopefully. We were supposed to do it in the fall but there was nothing for us to buy in the neighborhood we were interested. I too hate the idea of selling and moving with a toddler and a newborn. It is stressful but I figured this is probably the best time since I will never be able to get 3 months off where I can sell and buy and hopefully move in somewhere before going back to work
Re: Randoms! 10/31
@mcdonald-bailey that lunch sounds super nutritious.Your co-worker sounds like an ass.
ETA:No idea why this posted so late in the day?
SaveSaveso what is this cubs curse?
either way I AM SO HAPPY THEY WON.. why u ask.... cus the brief 5 mins i did watch yesterday. the men were cute.
SaveSaveI just need a moment to get other people's opinions on this to see if maybe I'm being selfish or not. My husband and I were talking about names last week and we still haven't settled on anything or have any names that we're at least leaning towards. So he asks me if I thought about middle names. I told him that nothing is set in stone at all, but threw it out there that if we had a boy, I would consider Murphy, since that's my maiden name, hence the Murph in kiyamurph. He said he wasn't in love with it, but could live with it. Then he asked me about a girl's middle name. I said again, I haven't settled on it, but I would consider Joyce since it's my mom's middle name and she's a fantastic mother. She's everything a woman could want in a mother, but I really haven't put much thought into middle names at all.
A little backstory, our son's name is Oliver and he was named after my grandmother, Ollie. She died 6 years ago and she played a huge part in my life while growing up. Instead of my parents sending us to daycare, my grandparents were our daycare and would fix us breakfast before school and would pick us up after school when we were little. When I was pregnant with Oliver and I asked him if there was anyone in his family that he would consider naming our son after, he said that there was absolutely no one in his family that was worth naming our kid after (his father was never in his life).
Back to the present, I asked him if he had any middle names he was thinking of and he said that if it were a girl he would consider his mother's middle name, Faye. My face totally fell. I dropped the subject completely and started talking about something else. First of all, I do NOT like the name Faye. Not even close. But most importantly, it's his mother. I'm sure some of you had read about my heinous MIL, but she's the type of person that has good intentions and truly doesn't mean any harm, but she has a major disconnect between her brain and her mouth. She just does not think about how her words negatively affect people. Everything, and I do mean every. single. thing is about her. In short, she's selfish. And at times rude as hell. I don't genuinely hate her, but I have no respect for her. I cannot respect a woman that treated her son like second best (still does) to his older brother and made him feel worthless as a child. She always had to remind him how much she wanted girls, which of course made my husband feel unwanted. My husband says that he doesn't carry any resentment towards her now, but I know he does. I can tell by the way he talks to her. He may think that he's completely over everything that happened in the past, but I really don't think that he's fully dealt with those feelings and burying your feelings over something like that doesn't mean that you're over it. I once told him that I wanted to weep for the little boy that he was because no kid should ever be treated like that.
I spoke to my mom about all of this yesterday and she thinks that because we named our son after someone on my side of the family, she thinks I need to be fair and let him possibly give our child a name after his mother or someone on his side of the family. She thinks I'm being selfish about it, which honestly pissed me off, but to me it has nothing to do with being selfish. In her defense though, I didn't really go into all of the reasons why. I just told her that I couldn't do it. I take naming a kid after someone very seriously. It's an honor and to honor this next kid with his mother's name makes me sick. I couldn't stomach it. I would have no problem whatsoever if his mom was a nice person who didn't get on my last nerve with her selfishness and constantly acting like her second born isn't as important as her first, but that's not the case here. When I'm in her presence I mostly want to slap her. When my husband suggested her middle name I wanted to reply with, "over my dead body", but that would've been rude to say it bluntly like that out of the blue. My husband knows that his mom is not my favorite person, but he doesn't know my true feelings for her. I haven't found a nice way to tell him that his mother is someone that I have zero respect for and I don't think I ever will because she will never change. Never. She is who she is. If he's dead set on giving my MIL's middle name to our child (that we don't even know the sex of yet since we're team green, so it may not even happen), then we'll have to have a sit down discussion about why that just cannot be possible, but at the same time I don't want to offend him and his feelings. He doesn't hate his mom or anything. They talk once/week and when she's being ridiculous he'll let her know and stands up to her all the time, but after everything he's told me, I can't fathom why he would even consider possibly giving our kid a name after her. Am I being too sensitive about this? Am I making too big of a deal about it? Should I hope that it's just something that crossed his mind and not make a big deal about it unless he brings it up again, or should I let him in on my feelings now? I feel torn because while we don't even know it's a girl, this whole thing could all fade into dust if we have a boy, but then again a part of me wants to let him know that I don't even want this to be a possibility. Thoughts? Sorry for the novel long post!
SaveSave
SaveSave**edit to add: my DD middle name is Lillian - my mom's middle name & dad's grandmothers name. I will not be naming this LO or any in the future with DH's immediate family.
Thank you to those that responded to my ridiculously long post. I do appreciate it. I went back and read it and realized how I kind of ranted a bit and I am making too big a deal about something that may not even happen anyway. But man, the more I sat and stewed about it the more it really bugged the hell out of me, so I'm glad to have other voices of reason. Thank you ladies.
Me: 26 Hubs: 28
Married: 6/6/15
Baby Girl: 3/22/2017
Me: 26 Hubs: 28
Married: 6/6/15
Baby Girl: 3/22/2017
SaveSave@mrsyimster I would have done the same if they actually got into the car!!! They just opened the door and then when I told them they had the wrong car they closed it and walked away.
Me: 26 Hubs: 28
Married: 6/6/15
Baby Girl: 3/22/2017
I have gross diarrhea this morning. I have to go to work because it is the last day of the quarter!! Just trying to steel myself to make the 30 minute drive.....