January 2016 Moms

Talk me off the bridge

Meg920Meg920 member
edited October 2016 in January 2016 Moms
sooooo.... I haven't been on as much lately. Life has gotten soooo crazy! I hope you all will forgive me for my recent lack of participation.

throughout my entire pregnancy and now throughout the 9 months with my daughter, I have come to you for advice or support, and I can't tell you how much I appreciate it.

I just got my first period postpartum on October 6. I have been feeling super weird and I am convinced I'm pregnant. Husband thinks I'm nuts, but I feel it in my bones.

I took a pregnancy test this morning at 11dpo and I see a very very faint line. I am freaking out. Period isn't due until Thursdayish.

I will test again in a few days to make sure it's legit, but in the meantime I play the waiting game. Who else has LOs close together? How did you do it and keep your sanity? What has been some of the best parts of having close together babies? Tell me that I can do this (if this isn't some kind of joke

Re: Talk me off the bridge

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    BTW, I am coming to you because of the support and kindness I have seen and received here. The TTC board is a hostile place. Unless you are having fertility issues, posting there is not a good idea.
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    My two are not that close together, but a girlfriend of mine had her two boys 1 year apart. Seriously, her boys' birthdays are in the same month one year apart. The major pro that she told me are that they are so close they are each other's best friend in a twins sort of way, without actually being twins. Twins are hard, singles are hard, babies in general are hard, but by spacing them out, you can get the first one into some sort of routine so when the second comes you can hit the ground running and fit the second in seamlessly, well, as seamlessly as adding another baby to the mix can be anyway. You will find new depths to yourself and pull reserves out of somewhere. 

    The only advice I have is the advice I would give any family expecting their second child:
    1)Try to stick to your family routines as much as possible, but don't freak out when the routine doesn't happen that day.
    2)If your first eats nothing but Cheerios and goldfish for a day so that you can get other things done, that's okay as long as he doesn't do that all week. At this stage, what they eat over the course of a week is more important than the day to day.
    3)Your first child is more aware than your second child, even though the second child demands you more. I have struggled with this one. Yes the new baby needs to be fed, yes the new baby needs to be put down for a nap, yes the new baby is louder and more demanding, but your first child needs all that too and needs your attention even more than the new baby. Try to include the oldest as much as possible, fetching items for you, throwing items away for you, having a small stool next to the changing table so they can watch. The entire time I'm dealing with the baby, I try to talk to my oldest so he isn't forgotten. I guess just don't forget your first while dealing with your second.

    It will be okay. Just take things one day at a time, and sometimes one hour at a time, and breathe. Routines will happen, naps will happen, sometimes even at the same time. One day you will get tackled by your children who very much want to hug you at the same time and you will know it is all worth it.
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    @ariasbabyblog thank you! I sincerely appreciate it. I may be scared for nothing, because it's still early. My line was so faint, so perhaps I'm nervous for nothing.
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    Any pregnancy is a nerve wracking experience. First time, second time, eighth time, each one is new, each one is different, and each one is special. If you start to feel yourself having a panic attach, stop, breathe, and recenter. It will be ok. 
     Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
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    I'm not there yet!  Nervous but excited at the same time. We will see! 
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    Hi @Meg920, I only have one at the moment so I'm not much help, but I know how hard the waiting/not knowing can be. Have you thought about getting the clear blue digital "pregnant/not pregnant" test? When I was seeing a super faint line and too anxious to wait day after day for it to darken I got one of those. It was positive, so it must detect levels of HCG that only produce the faintest line on the other tests. 
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    My babes are 13 months apart. I found out I was pregnant the day my son turned 5 months old. I FREAKED out. It has been a wild ride, with a lot of positives and some negatives also. 
    For me, I left my job because I wasn't even making enough to pay for daycare for 2 babies. it's been a really hard and lonely adjustment since I've held jobs since I was 14. I'm actually just now looking into a part time job or something so that I can get some adult time. 
    My babies have a love for each other that we didn't have to teach them. It's hard to explain. My son loves "his" baby. He brings her bottles, toys, clothes, blankets, and pacifiers. He knows when she's upset, and often how to make her happy again. They've made their own games (usually chasing each other, hiding, and laughing), and they love giving each other hugs and kisses (without being told). I love watching the love they have for each other grow daily. 
    On the other hand, it's exhausting, and most people out there just don't understand. It's exhausting mentally, physically, emotionally, and financially... We don't get any sleep, no alone time for mommy and daddy, there's constantly a mess somewhere, and I'm always on edge (are they eating something, where did they find that, how did you reach the scissors, is he sitting on the dog how did you get through the baby gate, etc). My mind is always racing. Also, the cost has been a huge source of frustration. Having 2 in diapers means about $ 90 a week in diapers alone (we never buy anything smaller than the massive value boxes). The baby is still on hypoallergenic formula, that easily costs us $ 120 a week. That's not counting clothes ( I have a boy and a girl, so there are very few hand me downs) that my kids are constantly outgrowing. 

    I think the best way to keep your sanity is go into this knowing that every baby is different. Know that this baby isn't the same person as your first baby. The different personalities was a wake up call. One loved to be swaddled, not the other. One would sleep wonderful, not this one. One could wear any brand of diaper, my daughter can only wear pampers. I think in ways, I expected my daughter to be similar to my son, and they are so opposite it's incredible (not necessarily her fault, medical issues have made her a challenging baby).

    It's a challenge. We've all had lots of tears. SO and I have argued a lot more than before. We are broke, seemingly all the time. And I've never ingested so much caffeine in my life. But it's worth it. We've cuddled more than ever. My bond with my son is stronger than ever. We've laughed and "aawwww-ed" more than we ever thought possible. So much more love in our home now. 
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    I had a pregnancy scare a while back and went through all of these same emotions and fears - don't worry!  In the end, I forced myself to consider the pros and cons and there were a lot of pros!  My mom had my brother and I 16 months apart, which was challenging, but ultimately really awesome!  Some pros I thought of:

    -if you only want 2 kids, you're totally done after this one!
    -all of the hard stuff is really compacted, so yes, barely sleeping when LO's are little is tough, but when it's done it's over!
    -your kids will be entertained by the same type of stuff after the first few months and that will last throughout childhood
    -they'll likely be going to the same day cares and schools throughout childhood
    -you can reuse almost all of your baby stuff
    -all of your baby knowledge will be super fresh in your mind and you won't have to relearn anything
    -you will adore your new baby just as much as this LO and it ultimately will be a blessing, if you are pregnant

    Good luck!  You'll be fine either way!  :)

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    Meg920Meg920 member
    edited November 2016
    I wrote this before I apologized. And quite frankly I felt like things did get very hostile. My birth month group was always supportive of each other and I came here when I felt vulnerable. I do appreciate the lengths that were gone through to prove your point of how shitty I am point taken. This is rediculous. 
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    And for the record, I did not post s positive. I am not pregnant. 
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    Dude.  I read through it. They weren't hostile. that group is very supportive, but when someone random comes in saying they think they are pregnant it doesn't go over well. Lots of people there are struggling to conceive. Sometimes you just have to remember to be sensitive to other peoples' issues.  It's honestly not very ridiculous....

    TTC #1 10/2014
    Low progesterone
    BFP 05/2015
    Baby boy born 01/2016
    Currently: NTNP

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