I am not opposed to having more one-off or single-topic threads by our members and I certainly support more conversational threads, especially if that makes more TTGPU ladies who left here want to come back. Plus you know I love a good drunk thread!
All that said, I may be more skeptical about this than others, mostly because when we have more single topic threads, we seem to get a big uptick in drive by pee sticks AND in drive by "answer my random stupid question I could have googled then disappear" threads. I am happy to answer questions from people who participate here but not a bunch of randos.
When I was lurking in June there was a vote on a number of these questions, hence the current organization. If we want to loosen this a little, let's do some experimentation and see if the magnitude of additional drive bys isn't as bad as I fear. I would be thrilled to be wrong and see no increase in drive bys.
I am not opposed to having more one-off or single-topic threads by our members and I certainly support more conversational threads, especially if that makes more TTGPU ladies who left here want to come back. Plus you know I love a good drunk thread!
All that said, I may be more skeptical about this than others, mostly because when we have more single topic threads, we seem to get a big uptick in drive by pee sticks AND in drive by "answer my random stupid question I could have googled then disappear" threads. I am happy to answer questions from people who participate here but not a bunch of randos.
When I was lurking in June there was a vote on a number of these questions, hence the current organization. If we want to loosen this a little, let's do some experimentation and see if the magnitude of additional drive bys isn't as bad as I fear. I would be thrilled to be wrong and see no increase in drive bys.
I am not opposed to having more one-off or single-topic threads by our members and I certainly support more conversational threads, especially if that makes more TTGPU ladies who left here want to come back. Plus you know I love a good drunk thread!
All that said, I may be more skeptical about this than others, mostly because when we have more single topic threads, we seem to get a big uptick in drive by pee sticks AND in drive by "answer my random stupid question I could have googled then disappear" threads. I am happy to answer questions from people who participate here but not a bunch of randos.
When I was lurking in June there was a vote on a number of these questions, hence the current organization. If we want to loosen this a little, let's do some experimentation and see if the magnitude of additional drive bys isn't as bad as I fear. I would be thrilled to be wrong and see no increase in drive bys.
This is what I meant by balance. Thanks for putting my feels into words!
I am not opposed to having more one-off or single-topic threads by our members and I certainly support more conversational threads, especially if that makes more TTGPU ladies who left here want to come back. Plus you know I love a good drunk thread!
All that said, I may be more skeptical about this than others, mostly because when we have more single topic threads, we seem to get a big uptick in drive by pee sticks AND in drive by "answer my random stupid question I could have googled then disappear" threads. I am happy to answer questions from people who participate here but not a bunch of randos.
When I was lurking in June there was a vote on a number of these questions, hence the current organization. If we want to loosen this a little, let's do some experimentation and see if the magnitude of additional drive bys isn't as bad as I fear. I would be thrilled to be wrong and see no increase in drive bys.
Totally hear you on this. I participated in that vote and definitely understood where people were coming from - my counter question though: Do you prefer having a (let's be honest) very boring, slow board where newbies feel they are scared to participate and less drive bys, or a fun, interesting board where lots of people participate in lots of different threads and we get the occasional drive by we get to shut down with hilarious gifs?
I'm not saying we let go of all our rules - I like the weekly threads a lot! I'm just saying we need to chill a teensy bit.
@Saralee797 I agree with you on trying to just pick out a few people to respond to. I get in my own head sometimes and feel bad for not being able to respond to everyone so I just avoid posting.
I think the "organization" craze started because of soooo many drive bys. They would see an odd thread and think - oh I'll just post this pee stick here. However, I think the board could benefit from some balance. @Basherbaby I used to try to reply to everyone but sometimes I just don't have to time. I just try and pick out a couple people in that case who maybe had a question or said something interesting to and respond. When I have time (aka it's super slow at work) I get replies in. I think it balances out.
Regarding replies in TWW/WTO I only reply to someone if they have actually asked a question or said something that confused me. ETA: probably an UO, but it always seems the most sincere to me when people selectively respond to stuff. In the past if someone commented on something sort of pointless in my post in those threads and I saw they replied to EVERYONE'S I felt like they included me just to check me off the list - not that they really wanted to connect with me.
And I agree that we need balance. If you're posting in TWW/WTO and have a question you think belongs there, do it. But there shouldn't be an actual FEAR of starting a new thread that isn't a specific weekly thread.
Thank you for saying this. I wasn't sure if it was expected to reply to everyone or if I'd look like a jerk if I didn't. Normally I wouldn't worry about that on a forum but there are so many rules here...
I am not opposed to having more one-off or single-topic threads by our members and I certainly support more conversational threads, especially if that makes more TTGPU ladies who left here want to come back. Plus you know I love a good drunk thread!
All that said, I may be more skeptical about this than others, mostly because when we have more single topic threads, we seem to get a big uptick in drive by pee sticks AND in drive by "answer my random stupid question I could have googled then disappear" threads. I am happy to answer questions from people who participate here but not a bunch of randos.
When I was lurking in June there was a vote on a number of these questions, hence the current organization. If we want to loosen this a little, let's do some experimentation and see if the magnitude of additional drive bys isn't as bad as I fear. I would be thrilled to be wrong and see no increase in drive bys.
Totally hear you on this. I participated in that vote and definitely understood where people were coming from - my counter question though: Do you prefer having a (let's be honest) very boring, slow board where newbies feel they are scared to participate and less drive bys, or a fun, interesting board where lots of people participate in lots of different threads and we get the occasional drive by we get to shut down with hilarious gifs?
I'm not saying we let go of all our rules - I like the weekly threads a lot! I'm just saying we need to chill a teensy bit.
To add to this, the problem of not wanting random people to come here asking questions when they don't participate is that LOTS of people started off that way. Many people don't seek out these sites until they have a question.
I mean, we can handle the drive-bys. The ask-a-question then disappear threads can be annoying but may be a way for people to figure out if they want to stick around, and a good way to recruit the keepers. TTGP moved into kindof a, "no strangers are allowed to ask for any info and if they do then pitchforks," territory. Sometimes the pitchforks are called for, but not every time. And those pop-in/one-off (<-- I really hate that term) threads still may be informative for someone who comes after with the same question (or for all of us). If the same question pops up a day or a week later, we tell them there's a great thread they should go stalk. At what expense are we trying to prevent every single rogue, unwelcome thread?
me . early 30's | h . mid 30's | < 3 . 2013
ntnp #2 . summer 2018
*siggy warning*
ttc#1 . jul 2015
mmc . mar 2016 | 6w2d
dx PCOS (non-IR) / subclinical hypothyroidism . summer 2016
tx metformin, levothyroxine, LP progesterone, femara + trigger + ti . fall/winter 2016 BFP! . jan 2017 DD . oct 2017
I am not opposed to having more one-off or single-topic threads by our members and I certainly support more conversational threads, especially if that makes more TTGPU ladies who left here want to come back. Plus you know I love a good drunk thread!
All that said, I may be more skeptical about this than others, mostly because when we have more single topic threads, we seem to get a big uptick in drive by pee sticks AND in drive by "answer my random stupid question I could have googled then disappear" threads. I am happy to answer questions from people who participate here but not a bunch of randos.
When I was lurking in June there was a vote on a number of these questions, hence the current organization. If we want to loosen this a little, let's do some experimentation and see if the magnitude of additional drive bys isn't as bad as I fear. I would be thrilled to be wrong and see no increase in drive bys.
Totally hear you on this. I participated in that vote and definitely understood where people were coming from - my counter question though: Do you prefer having a (let's be honest) very boring, slow board where newbies feel they are scared to participate and less drive bys, or a fun, interesting board where lots of people participate in lots of different threads and we get the occasional drive by we get to shut down with hilarious gifs?
I'm not saying we let go of all our rules - I like the weekly threads a lot! I'm just saying we need to chill a teensy bit.
To add to this, the problem of not wanting random people to come here asking questions when they don't participate is that LOTS of people started off that way. Many people don't seek out these sites until they have a question.
Truth. I look at some of my first posts here and just roll my eyes at myself - but it's a process and everyone goes through it.
Totally hear you on this. I participated in that vote and definitely understood where people were coming from - my counter question though: Do you prefer having a (let's be honest) very boring, slow board where newbies feel they are scared to participate and less drive bys, or a fun, interesting board where lots of people participate in lots of different threads and we get the occasional drive by we get to shut down with hilarious gifs?
I'm not saying we let go of all our rules - I like the weekly threads a lot! I'm just saying we need to chill a teensy bit.
The other thing to think about is that those things were decided on with people who were here in June. I know there is a group of people on here who have been around a while, but there are (I think) more people here now who weren't here in June. So what worked for those who were here and have now moved on might now work for this new crew.
I totally agree that this board is getting dull and @antoto your what to drink post was a great way to break it up!
**TW Loss/pregnancy mentioned** Married: 7/21/12
BFP: 5/30/16 and MC on 7/6/16 BFP: 12/4/16 Due 8/8/17 -- Its a boy! Born 8/14/17 BFP: 5/19/19 and MC on 5/27/19 BFP: 6/24/19, MC on 7/24/19 BFP: 10/24, no heartbeat on 11/27, D&C 12/2 Officially diagnosed with Secondary infertility and recurrent miscarriage IVF started Feb 2020 retrieval and PGT testing: 18 retrieved, 17 mature, 16 fertilized, 9 to blast, 8 PGT normal. Transfer #1: June 14, 2020
Mommy to a super cute havanesse puppy and baby boy!
The other thing to think about is that those things were decided on with people who were here in June. I know there is a group of people on here who have been around a while, but there are (I think) more people here now who weren't here in June. So what worked for those who were here and have now moved on might now work for this new crew.
I know you didn't mean it this way, but ouch did that sting. You're right, in June I did not think I would still be here.
If everyone else wants to go for it, I'm happy to try it out and see.
The other thing to think about is that those things were decided on with people who were here in June. I know there is a group of people on here who have been around a while, but there are (I think) more people here now who weren't here in June. So what worked for those who were here and have now moved on might now work for this new crew.
I know you didn't mean it this way, but ouch did that sting. You're right, in June I did not think I would still be here.
If everyone else wants to go for it, I'm happy to try it out and see.
*hugs* I know she didn't mean it like that either, but yeah. Ouch.
I am not opposed to having more one-off or single-topic threads by our members and I certainly support more conversational threads, especially if that makes more TTGPU ladies who left here want to come back. Plus you know I love a good drunk thread!
*snip*
*Dirty Lurking as usual*
Lol the TTGPU ladies (as far as I've understood it) didn't leave because there weren't enough threads. If anything, they said there were too many threads. They can correct me if I'm wrong, but I got the feeling that they left because there wasn't any connection on the WTO/TWW threads anymore. It became just a check-in and no one posted or responded to each other anymore.
Previously PaukMeKiande
Surprise BFP/MC February 2011 BFP May 16th 2016
EDD January 25 2017 DD born January 30 2017 Surprise BFP/MC April 2017
The other thing to think about is that those things were decided on with people who were here in June. I know there is a group of people on here who have been around a while, but there are (I think) more people here now who weren't here in June. So what worked for those who were here and have now moved on might now work for this new crew.
I know you didn't mean it this way, but ouch did that sting. You're right, in June I did not think I would still be here.
If everyone else wants to go for it, I'm happy to try it out and see.
*hugs* I know she didn't mean it like that either, but yeah. Ouch.
Yeah. And here I was out and then back. That one... not intended poorly but someone must be cutting onions.
In any case, the real point is that if you have a question that could benefit/involve the community or something fun for the community, go for it. "I made this bomb dinner the other night and it took ten minutes and cleanup was easy. What things do you guys make that are simple worknight meals?" or "Can we, all in one thread, once and for all explain the RRL tea thing? What brands do you use? Do you keep drinking it post-O? Inquiring minds want to know!" The problem is in the ding-dongs who appear out of nowhere and have their own convoluted super-specific and weird things and want answers this very moment. For those ones, do what you want. Snark 'em or we all just ignore them and they get one or two answers that explain how things work around here.
Personally, yes, I was intimidated to start posting here. But I sucked it up, followed the procedures, and dove in.
@BMPNAB I'm totally fine with women dressing up in skimpy stuff. I just wish that there were costumes for women that weren't skimpy. I don't want to be a slutty unicorn. I just want to be a unicorn. I really wish that there were better costume options for little girls. Especially since a good portion of the country is pretty dang cold by Halloween. I remember having snow for Halloween a number of times. Little dresses just aren't going to cut it for them.
Me: 34 DH: 38 Married: June 2011 TTC since Feb 2016 BFP#1: 7/7/16 MMC: 8/16/16 BFP#2: 5/8/17 - CP BFP#3: 6/27/17 EDD: 3/10/18
@Kiki75 In any case, the real point is that if you have a question that could benefit/involve the community or something fun for the community, go for it. "I made this bomb dinner the other night and it took ten minutes and cleanup was easy. What things do you guys make that are simple worknight meals?" or "Can we, all in one thread, once and for all explain the RRL tea thing? What brands do you use? Do you keep drinking it post-O? Inquiring minds want to know!"
*snip* *snip* *snip*
I kind of wish someone would have made threads with your examples! Those both sound interesting!
@adirat and @antoto I'm sorry you took what I said as mean or snarky (and to anyone else that took it that way) but it was not intended that way at all. I've been around for longer than that (started ttc in April) but lurked more than anything until I came back in august. So I'm in the boat of not thinking I would be here still either. I truly just meant that even in the few months I've been active the board has changed so what was good for a group of people 6 months ago isn't working well for the current group. again sorry.
**TW Loss/pregnancy mentioned** Married: 7/21/12
BFP: 5/30/16 and MC on 7/6/16 BFP: 12/4/16 Due 8/8/17 -- Its a boy! Born 8/14/17 BFP: 5/19/19 and MC on 5/27/19 BFP: 6/24/19, MC on 7/24/19 BFP: 10/24, no heartbeat on 11/27, D&C 12/2 Officially diagnosed with Secondary infertility and recurrent miscarriage IVF started Feb 2020 retrieval and PGT testing: 18 retrieved, 17 mature, 16 fertilized, 9 to blast, 8 PGT normal. Transfer #1: June 14, 2020
Mommy to a super cute havanesse puppy and baby boy!
@Kiki75 In any case, the real point is that if you have a question that could benefit/involve the community or something fun for the community, go for it. "I made this bomb dinner the other night and it took ten minutes and cleanup was easy. What things do you guys make that are simple worknight meals?" or "Can we, all in one thread, once and for all explain the RRL tea thing? What brands do you use? Do you keep drinking it post-O? Inquiring minds want to know!"
*snip* *snip* *snip*
I kind of wish someone would have made threads with your examples! Those both sound interesting!
I've been thinking about making a recipe thread! I need more recipes, hotdish anyone?
@Kiki75 there is almost always snow on the ground on Halloween where I live. I bought my daughter 2 sizes up so she can wear her winter gear over her costume.
**TW**
Me: 30 DH:30 Together 2003, Married 2011 DD: July 2005 BFP: 4/10/16, MC: 5/20/16 BFP: 1/10/17, DD2: Sep 2017
I am not opposed to having more one-off or single-topic threads by our members and I certainly support more conversational threads, especially if that makes more TTGPU ladies who left here want to come back. Plus you know I love a good drunk thread!
I feel compelled to respond to this comment. Speaking as someone from TTGPU who is not yet KU, the reason why we don't come hang out here has absolutely nothing to do with board organization.
The reality is that majority of the previous regs are KU (hence they are naturally not going to be regular participants on a TTGP board). And the rest of us are basically struggling with IF diagnoses/pursuing assisted reproductive options.
To put it bluntly, it's depressing AF to post in WTO/TWW for over a year and get BFN month after month and then see a person who gets KU on cycle one or two or three. Some people can take that sort of constant disappointment but others can't. I give tons of credit to the ladies who do continue to participate here but personally I can't do it. I'm in the midst of pursing IVF right now, and I'm posting in other places that better fit my current situation. I'm not waiting to ovulate or in a two week wait when I'm stimming or waiting for a transfer. And yes, I have the knowledge to support someone who has a chart question, so I could come here and participate ---but I don't have the heart to be in the mix of people who just have to have sex for a few months to be successful. And truly, it's no one's fault they get KU quickly, but hopefully you can understand the position of people who are struggling with harder circumstances than just needing to hit the FW for a few cycles.
So yeah...it's just not cuz of some board organization rules.
Me: 33 DH: 31 DS: 5 years old TTC #2 since August 2015 July 2016: Testing cycle with 100 mg Clomid = BFN August 2016: 50 mg Clomid + IUI = BFN October 2016: IVF#1 - 13 retrieved / 12 mature / 9 fertilized / 2 blasts November 2016: FET#1 = chemical January 2017: FET#2 = chemical March 2017: IVF#2 - 18 retrieved / 18 mature / 16 fertilized / 5 blasts
April 24, 2017: FET#3 - BFN May 24, 2017: FET#4 - BFP! - Beta #1 151 - Beta #2 503 - Due date 2/9/18
@Megzb510 This. I think everyone there who isn't KU has a DX, is in testing, or had a loss. It's just not the same anymore. So everyone just kinda has to do what's working for them at the time. It's not any one big 'issue.' *shrug*
Me: 34 DH: 38 Married: June 2011 TTC since Feb 2016 BFP#1: 7/7/16 MMC: 8/16/16 BFP#2: 5/8/17 - CP BFP#3: 6/27/17 EDD: 3/10/18
I agree with everything @Saralee797@adirat have said on this. FWIW, I'd like to add a few thoughts: I LOVE the organization of this board. I LOVE getting to know people and feeling like we're a supportive community. I LOVE following people's journeys (and feeling like people care about mine) in the WTO and TWW threads. I do NOT find it boring. And I love the gifs on the daily venting threads that bring us all together (e.g. TW Tuesdays, WTF Wednesdays etc...). The fact that older TWW and WTO threads are on the first page says nothing about the activity WITHIN each of those threads. Yes, the occasional drive-by and resulting shut-down can be entertaining. But mostly those threads seem to be either hurtful, against TOU, or just inviting "we don't have ute goggles" / "let me google that for you" replies. The structure and science and snark is why I lurked and joined THIS board and ONLY this board. In sum, I hope we keep the current structure!! With maybe some more of the threads @Kiki75 suggested
Me: 28 I MH: 27 Married August 2016 TTC #1 September 2016 BFP 10/31/16 EDD 7/16/17
About me: TTC#1: October 2015 dx: PCOS & MFI IUI #1 w/Femara + Ovidrel June 2016 ~ BFP July 2016: Blighted Ovum IUI #2 w/Femara + Ovidrel September 2016 ~BFN IUI #3 w/Femara + Ovidrel October 2016 ~BFN IUI #4 w/Femara + Ovidrel November 2016 ~BFN IVF with ICSI January 2017 ~BFN FET February 2017 ~BFN IVF with ICSI March 2017 ~BFP--Twins Due 12/8/17 Team Blue X 2!
The other thing to think about is that those things were decided on with people who were here in June. I know there is a group of people on here who have been around a while, but there are (I think) more people here now who weren't here in June. So what worked for those who were here and have now moved on might now work for this new crew.
I know you didn't mean it this way, but ouch did that sting. You're right, in June I did not think I would still be here.
If everyone else wants to go for it, I'm happy to try it out and see.
My UO is that I don't think Jerry Seinfeld is funny and have never watched an episode of Seinfeld.
@RVAmom315 Me either! Can i actually hate something with without having very watched it?!
@LuND@Dilynne outbreaks bathrooms doorstep never close. Unless we've use the one on the first floor because you could likely see in there from outside. but let's be clear, there's no #2 happening with someone else in the bathroom!
I see the same people posting the threads over and over. I would say the board is far from dead with sometimes 100 replies on some. Maybe they are boring or overwhelming, but not dead. I'd like to see some different people jumping in to start them, though. If you think it isn't interesting, then spice it up.
It's funny how it's the little things in life that mean the most...not where you live, or what you drive, or the price tag on your clothes... There's no dollar sign on a piece of mind, this I've come to know! *ZBB*
@megzb510 and @kiki75 I'm sorry if I was speaking out of turn. I began lurking in May so I may have interpreted things incorrectly. I thought most of the TTGPU ladies left because of the changes in the board and the increased presence of admins banning people very quickly. The conversations about the ban hammer were the main topic of conversation in May/June as far as I could tell, and since then, others have implied that TTGPU is not open to new members so I assumed it was because of a different board culture. I absolutely understand not wanting to stick around when you are at a different place!
Again I'm sorry I over-assumed what was happening here and do not begrudge anyone doing what makes the most sense for her own mental health. My heart was in the right place -- wanting to welcome back anyone who may have left.
I am not opposed to having more one-off or single-topic threads by our members and I certainly support more conversational threads, especially if that makes more TTGPU ladies who left here want to come back. Plus you know I love a good drunk thread!
I feel compelled to respond to this comment. Speaking as someone from TTGPU who is not yet KU, the reason why we don't come hang out here has absolutely nothing to do with board organization.
The reality is that majority of the previous regs are KU (hence they are naturally not going to be regular participants on a TTGP board). And the rest of us are basically struggling with IF diagnoses/pursuing assisted reproductive options.
To put it bluntly, it's depressing AF to post in WTO/TWW for over a year and get BFN month after month and then see a person who gets KU on cycle one or two or three. Some people can take that sort of constant disappointment but others can't. I give tons of credit to the ladies who do continue to participate here but personally I can't do it. I'm in the midst of pursing IVF right now, and I'm posting in other places that better fit my current situation. I'm not waiting to ovulate or in a two week wait when I'm stimming or waiting for a transfer. And yes, I have the knowledge to support someone who has a chart question, so I could come here and participate ---but I don't have the heart to be in the mix of people who just have to have sex for a few months to be successful. And truly, it's no one's fault they get KU quickly, but hopefully you can understand the position of people who are struggling with harder circumstances than just needing to hit the FW for a few cycles.
So yeah...it's just not cuz of some board organization rules.
@Megzb510 This. All of this. I don't know how many WTO/TWW entries I've started and halfway through I delete everything and don't even bother. I don't want to post and not contribute to anyone else but I just can't match the enthusiasm that most of the newbies have for TTC. I don't have the energy for it. And that's not the newbies fault. It's mine. So instead of being a downer all the time, I just don't post often in TTGP.
Married 07.21.07 DS#1 01.23.09 DS#2 08.01.11 TTC#3 08.31.15 Laparoscopy/Hysteroscopy/HSG 05.16.17 Hysteroscopy 10.04.17 10.05.17 Laparoscopy/Hysteroscopy/HSG 01.10.19 Left tube removed dx: Endometriosis, Adenomyosis BC: February-October 2019 TTA: November-December 2019 NTNP: January 2020!
I am not opposed to having more one-off or single-topic threads by our members and I certainly support more conversational threads, especially if that makes more TTGPU ladies who left here want to come back. Plus you know I love a good drunk thread!
I feel compelled to respond to this comment. Speaking as someone from TTGPU who is not yet KU, the reason why we don't come hang out here has absolutely nothing to do with board organization.
The reality is that majority of the previous regs are KU (hence they are naturally not going to be regular participants on a TTGP board). And the rest of us are basically struggling with IF diagnoses/pursuing assisted reproductive options.
To put it bluntly, it's depressing AF to post in WTO/TWW for over a year and get BFN month after month and then see a person who gets KU on cycle one or two or three. Some people can take that sort of constant disappointment but others can't. I give tons of credit to the ladies who do continue to participate here but personally I can't do it. I'm in the midst of pursing IVF right now, and I'm posting in other places that better fit my current situation. I'm not waiting to ovulate or in a two week wait when I'm stimming or waiting for a transfer. And yes, I have the knowledge to support someone who has a chart question, so I could come here and participate ---but I don't have the heart to be in the mix of people who just have to have sex for a few months to be successful. And truly, it's no one's fault they get KU quickly, but hopefully you can understand the position of people who are struggling with harder circumstances than just needing to hit the FW for a few cycles.
So yeah...it's just not cuz of some board organization rules.
I'm not in TTGPU but yes, I agree with this. After two losses, I'm just not interested in WTO/TWW threads - the novelty has worn off and it's just demoralizing. For anyone that's not super keen on posting there ... or who posts there but also wants to have discussions that don't center solely around charting and testing, you're basically SOL. I'd rather see more, and more varied, threads - knowing that it'll increase the randos and pee sticks and repeat questions - rather than a ghost town with almost all discussion occurring in WTO/TWW.
TTC #1 --- BFP #1 5/15, loss at 5 weeks --- BFP #2 12/15, loss at 4+3 --- RE testing 3/16 normal, still trying for our rainbow
@megzb510. Thanks so much for chiming in with what u said. I'm not part of the TTGPU group but I do feel the same way. Im seeing my new California RE on Nov 2nd, and am starting to prepare myself for doing all the stuff I have to do In order to use our one frozen embryo (another HSG, monitoring, more meds, time, money that we don't have, flying to Chicago to for the transfer, etc).
I'm SO incredibly happy for all of the cycle 1, cycle 2 BFPs that I see in the grad thread from week to week but at the same time it is really demoralizing to me because not only will I never be one of those lucky ladies, but I probably will never be able to conceive naturally, period. And reading them just puts me into a selfish pity party, and I don't like feeling that way... It makes me feel like im a crappy person because I can't just be happy for them and not let it make me feel sad inside.
Sadly, I had to stop looking at the grad thread some time ago.... which really bums me out because I love seeing when regulars/long time TTCers/ IF ladies/ and/or TTCAL ladies get their BFPs.
So, TTGPU is a bunch of friends who were on TTGP at the same time, most of us last year or earlier this year. We missed those who moved onto their BMBs, and made our own group to keep up with each other as friends.. A lot of those people are KU now (yay!). Those of us who aren't are undergoing IF treatment or have had losses or multiple losses. A lot of us don't participate here for the reasons mentioned above. As for the "closed to new members" thing someone brought up, we had lots of ideas about what our group was and how best to support our members still trying. But we made a decision to keep it just friends now. We aren't being hateful or mean. We are just a group of friends from a different time. Remember that!
As for this board, I'd like to not shut down random questions so much, but still flame the drive by peesticks. Right before my second BFP, we had started great info threads about checking CP and stuff. It was awesome! We need to start more of that. There is a LOT of casual ttgp here (not charting, no knowledge of cm, opks, etc) and I'd like us to educate more and make this place all about the science that we came to know and love! That way more new members can love it and be into it just like us.
Me: 27 years old DH: 27 years old Type 1 Diabetes since 2001, MTHFR hetero A1298T Dogs: Raider 4 yrs, Dex 4 yrs
Married in July 2014
TTC #1 since late Feb 2016
BFP #1 3/29/16 MMC: 5/5/16 BFP #2 7/6/16 SCH, D&C 8/4/16 BFP #3 12/26/16 EDD: 9/6/17 My Chart / My Diabetes/Pregnancy Blog My Type 1/TTC/Pregnancy Podcast: Juicebox Podcast Episode 118 A1Cs: 1/12/16 6.7% 5/25/16 6.0% 11/2/16 6.1% 3/22/16 5.8% 4/27/17 5.4% 6/13/17 5.3% "Sugar Fancy Tutu"
@sugargirl1019 I've been around these boards since June and let me just say that I've noticed you guys have been missing and have felt the absence.
The casual TTGP stuff is extremely annoying and upsetting because some of us don't have time / age to be casual about it. I'm tired of seeing newer people make comments that make us seem like the BSC ones for temping, doing OPKs, and checking CM/CP. I almost want to add something to the WTO/TWW threads to the effect of "If you aren't actually putting in effort other than having random sex, don't bother asking if we think you ovulated or why AF seems so to be 'late' because you haven't taken the time to educate yourself and will come back crying that you didn't get KU and then you'll have the nerve to ask what thermometer and OPKs you should use when you should have read and listened to the newbie guide" ...but I don't want to seem like a bitch and say
It's funny how it's the little things in life that mean the most...not where you live, or what you drive, or the price tag on your clothes... There's no dollar sign on a piece of mind, this I've come to know! *ZBB*
I completely respect the TTGPU group and their decision to form said group. I do wish we could find a way to keep this group more mixed - newbies and those who have been through longer/different experiences, and everything in between. It helps to balance the optimism with real life experiences, and of course, science. But I realize that it's very difficult to form a group like that due to different preferences, etc.
@NYTino24 I'm sorry you have felt the absence. I really think we can count the number of those trying still on 2 hands though. Many have thankfully succeeded and moved on and wouldn't participate on TTGP anymore anyway.
Me: 27 years old DH: 27 years old Type 1 Diabetes since 2001, MTHFR hetero A1298T Dogs: Raider 4 yrs, Dex 4 yrs
Married in July 2014
TTC #1 since late Feb 2016
BFP #1 3/29/16 MMC: 5/5/16 BFP #2 7/6/16 SCH, D&C 8/4/16 BFP #3 12/26/16 EDD: 9/6/17 My Chart / My Diabetes/Pregnancy Blog My Type 1/TTC/Pregnancy Podcast: Juicebox Podcast Episode 118 A1Cs: 1/12/16 6.7% 5/25/16 6.0% 11/2/16 6.1% 3/22/16 5.8% 4/27/17 5.4% 6/13/17 5.3% "Sugar Fancy Tutu"
@adirat I can see your post came from a positive place and there was no ill will. I *Loved* this board when I started. I would be the one starting up WTO/TWW threads every day cuz I was on the train super early. I remember when BFPs were still in the TWW threads! I could not wait to finally get to post on the grad thread. I was the one who started "After dark" threads. But here I am, 15 months later and navigating the Ivf world and too far removed from this board to even deserve a grad post here even if I get KU. There is a lot of depressing things about IF, and it's like death by a thousand cuts. There's not a lot of places we can go for support and I guess your post just struck a nerve, but I didn't mean it as a personal attack on you.
Ok, but the first time someone starts a thread asking when to start OPKs I'm definitely going to flame the shit out of them. Those are the one-off posts I fear. I don't think food was ever a no-no thread topic though.
Me: late 30s | H: early 30s TTC #1 since April 2015 RE Dx: Fibroids, surgery Jan 2016 IUI #1 and #2, Nov/Dec 2016, BFN IVF March 2017: ER - 5R/3M/3F, 1 PGS normal Polyp removed May 2017 FET May 2017 - BFP! Baby boy born 2/2/18
I am not opposed to having more one-off or single-topic threads by our members and I certainly support more conversational threads, especially if that makes more TTGPU ladies who left here want to come back. Plus you know I love a good drunk thread!
I feel compelled to respond to this comment. Speaking as someone from TTGPU who is not yet KU, the reason why we don't come hang out here has absolutely nothing to do with board organization.
The reality is that majority of the previous regs are KU (hence they are naturally not going to be regular participants on a TTGP board). And the rest of us are basically struggling with IF diagnoses/pursuing assisted reproductive options.
To put it bluntly, it's depressing AF to post in WTO/TWW for over a year and get BFN month after month and then see a person who gets KU on cycle one or two or three. Some people can take that sort of constant disappointment but others can't. I give tons of credit to the ladies who do continue to participate here but personally I can't do it. I'm in the midst of pursing IVF right now, and I'm posting in other places that better fit my current situation. I'm not waiting to ovulate or in a two week wait when I'm stimming or waiting for a transfer. And yes, I have the knowledge to support someone who has a chart question, so I could come here and participate ---but I don't have the heart to be in the mix of people who just have to have sex for a few months to be successful. And truly, it's no one's fault they get KU quickly, but hopefully you can understand the position of people who are struggling with harder circumstances than just needing to hit the FW for a few cycles.
So yeah...it's just not cuz of some board organization rules.
@Megzb510 This. All of this. I don't know how many WTO/TWW entries I've started and halfway through I delete everything and don't even bother. I don't want to post and not contribute to anyone else but I just can't match the enthusiasm that most of the newbies have for TTC. I don't have the energy for it. And that's not the newbies fault. It's mine. So instead of being a downer all the time, I just don't post often in TTGP.
i 100% agree. i'll post in wto/tww sometimes just so people know i am still here (not that most recognize my name anyways anymore lol). sometimes i post in the IF thread here, but only when i have news. I temp only incase my triggger and cycle get canceled (again) and i have to rely on temps but other than i never even open my chart anymore. forget about CM, i've stopped checking. So i really have nothing to update.
Re: UO Thursday
All that said, I may be more skeptical about this than others, mostly because when we have more single topic threads, we seem to get a big uptick in drive by pee sticks AND in drive by "answer my random stupid question I could have googled then disappear" threads. I am happy to answer questions from people who participate here but not a bunch of randos.
When I was lurking in June there was a vote on a number of these questions, hence the current organization. If we want to loosen this a little, let's do some experimentation and see if the magnitude of additional drive bys isn't as bad as I fear. I would be thrilled to be wrong and see no increase in drive bys.
THIS.
Dating: 12/21/2001
Married: 09/08/2012
BFP: 11/16/2016 EDD: 07/27/2017
Baby Fish born: 08/01/2017
I'm not saying we let go of all our rules - I like the weekly threads a lot! I'm just saying we need to chill a teensy bit.
Low progesterone
Baby boy born 01/2016
Currently: NTNP
ntnp #2 . summer 2018
*siggy warning*
ttc#1 . jul 2015
mmc . mar 2016 | 6w2d
dx PCOS (non-IR) / subclinical hypothyroidism . summer 2016
tx metformin, levothyroxine, LP progesterone, femara + trigger + ti . fall/winter 2016
BFP! . jan 2017
DD . oct 2017
I totally agree that this board is getting dull and @antoto your what to drink post was a great way to break it up!
Married: 7/21/12
BFP: 12/4/16 Due 8/8/17 -- Its a boy! Born 8/14/17
BFP: 5/19/19 and MC on 5/27/19
BFP: 6/24/19, MC on 7/24/19
BFP: 10/24, no heartbeat on 11/27, D&C 12/2
Officially diagnosed with Secondary infertility and recurrent miscarriage
IVF started Feb 2020
retrieval and PGT testing: 18 retrieved, 17 mature, 16 fertilized, 9 to blast, 8 PGT normal.
Transfer #1: June 14, 2020
I know you didn't mean it this way, but ouch did that sting. You're right, in June I did not think I would still be here.
If everyone else wants to go for it, I'm happy to try it out and see.
Lol the TTGPU ladies (as far as I've understood it) didn't leave because there weren't enough threads. If anything, they said there were too many threads. They can correct me if I'm wrong, but I got the feeling that they left because there wasn't any connection on the WTO/TWW threads anymore. It became just a check-in and no one posted or responded to each other anymore.
BFP May 16th 2016
DD born January 30 2017
Surprise BFP/MC April 2017
In any case, the real point is that if you have a question that could benefit/involve the community or something fun for the community, go for it. "I made this bomb dinner the other night and it took ten minutes and cleanup was easy. What things do you guys make that are simple worknight meals?" or "Can we, all in one thread, once and for all explain the RRL tea thing? What brands do you use? Do you keep drinking it post-O? Inquiring minds want to know!" The problem is in the ding-dongs who appear out of nowhere and have their own convoluted super-specific and weird things and want answers this very moment. For those ones, do what you want. Snark 'em or we all just ignore them and they get one or two answers that explain how things work around here.
Personally, yes, I was intimidated to start posting here. But I sucked it up, followed the procedures, and dove in.
@BMPNAB I'm totally fine with women dressing up in skimpy stuff. I just wish that there were costumes for women that weren't skimpy. I don't want to be a slutty unicorn. I just want to be a unicorn. I really wish that there were better costume options for little girls. Especially since a good portion of the country is pretty dang cold by Halloween. I remember having snow for Halloween a number of times. Little dresses just aren't going to cut it for them.
Married: June 2011
TTC since Feb 2016
BFP#1: 7/7/16 MMC: 8/16/16
BFP#2: 5/8/17 - CP
BFP#3: 6/27/17 EDD: 3/10/18
I kind of wish someone would have made threads with your examples! Those both sound interesting!
Married: June 2011
TTC since Feb 2016
BFP#1: 7/7/16 MMC: 8/16/16
BFP#2: 5/8/17 - CP
BFP#3: 6/27/17 EDD: 3/10/18
Married: 7/21/12
BFP: 12/4/16 Due 8/8/17 -- Its a boy! Born 8/14/17
BFP: 5/19/19 and MC on 5/27/19
BFP: 6/24/19, MC on 7/24/19
BFP: 10/24, no heartbeat on 11/27, D&C 12/2
Officially diagnosed with Secondary infertility and recurrent miscarriage
IVF started Feb 2020
retrieval and PGT testing: 18 retrieved, 17 mature, 16 fertilized, 9 to blast, 8 PGT normal.
Transfer #1: June 14, 2020
@Kiki75 there is almost always snow on the ground on Halloween where I live. I bought my daughter 2 sizes up so she can wear her winter gear over her costume.
Together 2003, Married 2011
DD: July 2005
BFP: 4/10/16, MC: 5/20/16
BFP: 1/10/17, DD2: Sep 2017
TTGP Dec '16 siggy challenge winner!
I feel compelled to respond to this comment. Speaking as someone from TTGPU who is not yet KU, the reason why we don't come hang out here has absolutely nothing to do with board organization.
The reality is that majority of the previous regs are KU (hence they are naturally not going to be regular participants on a TTGP board). And the rest of us are basically struggling with IF diagnoses/pursuing assisted reproductive options.
To put it bluntly, it's depressing AF to post in WTO/TWW for over a year and get BFN month after month and then see a person who gets KU on cycle one or two or three. Some people can take that sort of constant disappointment but others can't. I give tons of credit to the ladies who do continue to participate here but personally I can't do it. I'm in the midst of pursing IVF right now, and I'm posting in other places that better fit my current situation. I'm not waiting to ovulate or in a two week wait when I'm stimming or waiting for a transfer. And yes, I have the knowledge to support someone who has a chart question, so I could come here and participate ---but I don't have the heart to be in the mix of people who just have to have sex for a few months to be successful. And truly, it's no one's fault they get KU quickly, but hopefully you can understand the position of people who are struggling with harder circumstances than just needing to hit the FW for a few cycles.
So yeah...it's just not cuz of some board organization rules.
DS: 5 years old
TTC #2 since August 2015
July 2016: Testing cycle with 100 mg Clomid = BFN
August 2016: 50 mg Clomid + IUI = BFN
October 2016: IVF#1 - 13 retrieved / 12 mature / 9 fertilized / 2 blasts
November 2016: FET#1 = chemical
January 2017: FET#2 = chemical
March 2017: IVF#2 - 18 retrieved / 18 mature / 16 fertilized / 5 blasts
May 24, 2017: FET#4 - BFP! - Beta #1 151 - Beta #2 503 - Due date 2/9/18
Married: June 2011
TTC since Feb 2016
BFP#1: 7/7/16 MMC: 8/16/16
BFP#2: 5/8/17 - CP
BFP#3: 6/27/17 EDD: 3/10/18
Married August 2016
TTC #1 September 2016
BFP 10/31/16
EDD 7/16/17
TTC#1: October 2015
dx: PCOS & MFI
IUI #1 w/Femara + Ovidrel June 2016 ~ BFP
July 2016: Blighted Ovum
IUI #2 w/Femara + Ovidrel September 2016 ~BFN
IUI #3 w/Femara + Ovidrel October 2016 ~BFN
IUI #4 w/Femara + Ovidrel November 2016 ~BFN
IVF with ICSI January 2017 ~BFN
FET February 2017 ~BFN
IVF with ICSI March 2017 ~BFP--Twins Due 12/8/17
Team Blue X 2!
@LuND @Dilynne outbreaks bathrooms doorstep never close. Unless we've use the one on the first floor because you could likely see in there from outside. but let's be clear, there's no #2 happening with someone else in the bathroom!
@adirat I know exactly what you mean, friend!
Dating since: 11/17/2001
Married: 9/26/2009
TTC: June 2016
EDD: 5/14/2018
TTC 9/2016 BFP 12/9/16 EDD 8/21/17 NMC 1/8/16 at 7w6d
TTC 2/2017 BFP 3/6/17 EDD 11/17/17 DS born 11/25/17 via ECS
TTC 12/2018 BFP 6/2/19 EDD 2/12/20 NMC / BO at 7 weeks, low progesterone
TTC 7/2019 BFP 8/21/19 EDD 4/22/20 CP at 5 weeks
TTC 8/19 IUI #1 w/ Clomid + Ovidrel + progesterone BFN, IUI 2 and 3 w/ Letrozole + Ovidrel + progesterone,
IUI 4 Follistim + Ovidrel + progesterone BFP 1/9/20 EDD 9/18/20
AMA, ITP in pregnancy, vWD type II - low Factor VIII, unexplained RPL and secondary infertility
Again I'm sorry I over-assumed what was happening here and do not begrudge anyone doing what makes the most sense for her own mental health. My heart was in the right place -- wanting to welcome back anyone who may have left.
Married 07.21.07
DS#1 01.23.09
DS#2 08.01.11
TTC#3 08.31.15
Laparoscopy/Hysteroscopy/HSG 05.16.17
Hysteroscopy 10.04.17 10.05.17
Laparoscopy/Hysteroscopy/HSG 01.10.19
Left tube removed
dx: Endometriosis, Adenomyosis
BC: February-October 2019
TTA: November-December 2019
NTNP: January 2020!
Married: June 2011
TTC since Feb 2016
BFP#1: 7/7/16 MMC: 8/16/16
BFP#2: 5/8/17 - CP
BFP#3: 6/27/17 EDD: 3/10/18
TTC #2 - August 2016
MFI
IUI #1-3 BFN
BFP 4/21/18 MMC 6/11/18
Im seeing my new California RE on Nov 2nd, and am starting to prepare myself for doing all the stuff I have to do In order to use our one frozen embryo (another HSG, monitoring, more meds, time, money that we don't have, flying to Chicago to for the transfer, etc).
Sadly, I had to stop looking at the grad thread some time ago.... which really bums me out because I love seeing when regulars/long time TTCers/ IF ladies/ and/or TTCAL ladies get their BFPs.
So, TTGPU is a bunch of friends who were on TTGP at the same time, most of us last year or earlier this year. We missed those who moved onto their BMBs, and made our own group to keep up with each other as friends.. A lot of those people are KU now (yay!). Those of us who aren't are undergoing IF treatment or have had losses or multiple losses. A lot of us don't participate here for the reasons mentioned above. As for the "closed to new members" thing someone brought up, we had lots of ideas about what our group was and how best to support our members still trying. But we made a decision to keep it just friends now. We aren't being hateful or mean. We are just a group of friends from a different time. Remember that!
As for this board, I'd like to not shut down random questions so much, but still flame the drive by peesticks. Right before my second BFP, we had started great info threads about checking CP and stuff. It was awesome! We need to start more of that. There is a LOT of casual ttgp here (not charting, no knowledge of cm, opks, etc) and I'd like us to educate more and make this place all about the science that we came to know and love! That way more new members can love it and be into it just like us.
Type 1 Diabetes since 2001, MTHFR hetero A1298T
Dogs: Raider 4 yrs, Dex 4 yrs
BFP #2 7/6/16 SCH, D&C 8/4/16
BFP #3 12/26/16 EDD: 9/6/17
My Chart / My Diabetes/Pregnancy Blog
My Type 1/TTC/Pregnancy Podcast:
Juicebox Podcast Episode 118
A1Cs:
1/12/16 6.7%
5/25/16 6.0%
11/2/16 6.1%
3/22/16 5.8%
4/27/17 5.4%
6/13/17 5.3%
"Sugar Fancy Tutu"
Dating since: 11/17/2001
Married: 9/26/2009
TTC: June 2016
EDD: 5/14/2018
The casual TTGP stuff is extremely annoying and upsetting because some of us don't have time / age to be casual about it. I'm tired of seeing newer people make comments that make us seem like the BSC ones for temping, doing OPKs, and checking CM/CP. I almost want to add something to the WTO/TWW threads to the effect of "If you aren't actually putting in effort other than having random sex, don't bother asking if we think you ovulated or why AF seems so to be 'late' because you haven't taken the time to educate yourself and will come back crying that you didn't get KU and then you'll have the nerve to ask what thermometer and OPKs you should use when you should have read and listened to the newbie guide" ...but I don't want to seem like a bitch and say
TTC 9/2016 BFP 12/9/16 EDD 8/21/17 NMC 1/8/16 at 7w6d
TTC 2/2017 BFP 3/6/17 EDD 11/17/17 DS born 11/25/17 via ECS
TTC 12/2018 BFP 6/2/19 EDD 2/12/20 NMC / BO at 7 weeks, low progesterone
TTC 7/2019 BFP 8/21/19 EDD 4/22/20 CP at 5 weeks
TTC 8/19 IUI #1 w/ Clomid + Ovidrel + progesterone BFN, IUI 2 and 3 w/ Letrozole + Ovidrel + progesterone,
IUI 4 Follistim + Ovidrel + progesterone BFP 1/9/20 EDD 9/18/20
AMA, ITP in pregnancy, vWD type II - low Factor VIII, unexplained RPL and secondary infertility
Type 1 Diabetes since 2001, MTHFR hetero A1298T
Dogs: Raider 4 yrs, Dex 4 yrs
BFP #2 7/6/16 SCH, D&C 8/4/16
BFP #3 12/26/16 EDD: 9/6/17
My Chart / My Diabetes/Pregnancy Blog
My Type 1/TTC/Pregnancy Podcast:
Juicebox Podcast Episode 118
A1Cs:
1/12/16 6.7%
5/25/16 6.0%
11/2/16 6.1%
3/22/16 5.8%
4/27/17 5.4%
6/13/17 5.3%
"Sugar Fancy Tutu"
@tripledaggerWed95976 - good luck with your RE! What Chicago RE did you go to?
(hugs) to all my ladies who are out there and struggling.
DS: 5 years old
TTC #2 since August 2015
July 2016: Testing cycle with 100 mg Clomid = BFN
August 2016: 50 mg Clomid + IUI = BFN
October 2016: IVF#1 - 13 retrieved / 12 mature / 9 fertilized / 2 blasts
November 2016: FET#1 = chemical
January 2017: FET#2 = chemical
March 2017: IVF#2 - 18 retrieved / 18 mature / 16 fertilized / 5 blasts
May 24, 2017: FET#4 - BFP! - Beta #1 151 - Beta #2 503 - Due date 2/9/18
TTC #1 since April 2015
RE Dx: Fibroids, surgery Jan 2016
IUI #1 and #2, Nov/Dec 2016, BFN
IVF March 2017: ER - 5R/3M/3F, 1 PGS normal
Polyp removed May 2017
FET May 2017 - BFP!
Baby boy born 2/2/18