Second time mom

jasd33

Hi all! I'm 9 weeks along with baby #2 and I still feel worried about not having enough in me to give DD (16 mo) the attention that she will need/deserves when baby 2 comes along. I know everyone says you just create space for more love and attention and I'm sure everyone feels this way with their second. Anyone else feeling like this?

kcmomz3

I can definitely understand this, so you aren't alone. My 14 month old daughter has some special needs, so right now it's awesome getting to focus on her and therapy she needs. I'm so excited about this new baby, and I'm trying to prepare myself to have 2 kiddos under 2. I'm just hoping to figure out how to divide my attention since my daughter needs a little more from me. We can do it girl

NotAPlaya-JustCrushAlot

There's a second time mom check-in that you might find helpful.  It should be on the first page of this group.

mamatowildones

I promise it really does work out. I used to cry in bed at night with DH when I was pregnant with number 2 because I felt that we were awful to do this to #1 and that he wouldn't feel loved or get enough of us. When baby came it took a good two weeks for everyone to adjust. Plus, this is number 3 and I still have moments like this in regards to baby 2 feeling sad. But I know it adjusts just fine. When you see your new complete family together it is unreal. 

mrsrep123

We plan on having the crib in our room for the first 6 months (at least) and have our 14 month old's bed in there now. Anyone else have a similar situation? Will it work or will the baby just wake up the 14 month old???

mamasmurf12

I felt the same way before #2 came, and she ended up being special needs as well. But it seemed like they just meshed so easily into each other's lives, so much better than I could have hoped. Now I am concerned that baby #3 will throw off #2's development, but I also feel like being a big sister will make her grow by leaps and bounds! Just know you will always have enough love for each of them, it's like some miracle that multiplies it when they are born. (Okay, am I a sappy preggo or what?)

RainyDays86

@mamasmurf12 you're not alone in your sappy pregnancy-ness, that just made me tear up!

kat81

Even though we always knew we wanted 2 (or 3) kids, I still had that same feeling you're talking about -- being worried that we would not have time for DS once the baby came. And after the baby came, sure enough, it became apparent that DS is special needs and still uses QUITE a bit of our resources. But the thing is, his younger sister is the best thing that ever happened to him (and probably him to her, too). Their relationship is AMAZING. He adjusted to her fast as well. Though you have less time, remember that they will have each other. And in theory that relationship is the most important of all, because eventually parents die (sorry to be morbid!) but if you are close with you sibling you could be friends for life since they're about the same age. We are so happy they have each other. We're again concerned about time for these kids once #3 times -- at this point we'll be outnumbered -- but we know they will probably welcome this one in as they did each other and it will work out fine.

vrj0522

I was going to say something similar to what kat81 said. You have to remember that you and your H are not the only ones having a baby. Your DD is also a part of it and while sometimes it takes a little bit to adjust, that baby will become a new part of her life and she will want that as much as you do. It was amazing to see DS become a big brother and all the love that he poured into his new baby sister.  Yes, we had to adjust and it took a few weeks but very quickly having DD became very normal. 

A couple of things that I would suggest would be to include your DD as much as possible when the baby comes and let her know that this is HER new baby. The other thing would be to not push her to be "a big girl." That normally backfires if she's not ready or interested in being one and based on how young she is, she might not be ready. It's ok to have two babies for some time. 

jasd33

Thank you all so much for your advice and kind words! Brought DD to the first ultrasound appt and she saw the heattbeat when we got home she brought her stethoscope over and put it on my belly and kept saying boom-boom, boom-boom, boom-boom

OmegaRose3

I know just how you feel, this pregnancy came as a bit of a suprise and though I am excited it definitely feels strange this time around, DD is 17 months and it's hard for me to imagine having two babies now instead of just my spunky toddler.