Long story short because I keep losing my connection: single mom, BD has never paid for a single thing for DD, now he wants 50/50 custody.
I'm not okay with it for many reasons, mainly because she has what I'm concerned are night terrors and wakes screaming. He has never gotten up for her, not one single time. Even if he's still awake and I'm asleep, he still will not go in to console her during her episodes. He wants overnights and it makes me uncomfortable. He's moving home with his mom who I am certain will be the one to get up with DD, and that is also not okay because she is not the parent.
My question is: do you think a judge will rule in his favor? Will I have to agree to this arrangement(and most likely forfeit child
support)?
I'm sorry this is so vague, I keep getting kicked off! I'll answer any questions you have for me, I'd just appreciate any thoughts!
Re: new here, need custody advice!
So what is it that you (reasonably) want? For DD to have comfort during her episodes? it sounds like you believe grandma will offer that. Child support? if you make significantly less than BD, you may still get some even with 50/50 custody.
The judge's job is to create a plan that's in the child's best interest. that generally means having consistent and frequent contact with both parents. As hard as it is to believe, "best interest" usually doesn't mean who serves the healthiest foods or lives in the nicer home or even who follows the best parenting-expert-approved discipline and parenting style. It's about how this child will be able to have healthy, stong relationships with BOTH her parents. Each parent, regardless of their X or Y chromosomes, has equal right to parent their child. anything that changes that equality has to be pretty significant. So prepare yourself for joint custody, mostly because that IS what benefits your DD the most long-term, and work on building a great co-parenting relationship with BD.
If he is a good father, let him be in her life as much as he wants to be. I see firsthand the damage that having an absent father does to a child's heart and mind. Your daughter deserves to be supported and loved by both of you. Don't rob her of someone who is absolutely VITAL to her existence, if he isn't a danger to her.