CD 22 Progesterone Level and TWW grumblings

BenJay

We had a storm here in the PNW, so I didn't get my blood draw on CD 21. (I can't imagine that matters a ton...) I got 32 ng/mL. That's my highest level so far! Does this only confirm ovulation? 

And I spent the day with my MIL making a belated baby quilt, it's now a toddler quilt. My grumbling is that I learned over the quilting session that my BIL and his wife are not actively "preventing" pregnancy. MIL talks as if it takes nothing at all to get pregnant, like the thought is sufficient. She says it out of concern since their finances aren't squared away.

And I feel like if they were to have kids before us, they'd be those annoying family members that just go on about how blessed they are and how I am missing out. BTW, absolutely no one in either my family or DH's knows we have been trying. I dare not say anything.

OMG, the waiting! 

Bababatty

I can't answer the blood work question, but I'm sorry you had an awkward time with your MIL. I understand how frustrating it would be if your BIL and SIL got pregnant before you. Depending on how you think some of your family members might react, it might be worth telling at least your parents about your struggles. Every family is different, but for me it's been really helpful to have my parents' support.

SaphireSweetie88

@BenJay

I second what @Bababatty said about possibly at least telling your parents. I told my parents and it's nice to know I have someone there I can talk to about it and it makes for a lot less awkward situations.

BenJay

I started at 1.8 in June so 32 seems like a huge change. I guess I feel cheated that I don't get anymore information from these monthly blood draws. Who knew pregnancy was a lot of 'wait and see'? (I feel lied to. It was supposed to be instantaneous, like any time a boy touched you)

Maybe you're right. It feels scary now but it might be worth having a conversation

So, I never planned on having children. My family was well aware of my stance and I married DH with that plan. But it became clear to me that he would be an awesome father and I think he would regret not being one later in life. I decided that I didn't "not want kids" enough to deny him. 

Some days, it's a struggle not to think I brought this on myself, like some sort of bad luck for not wanting kids for all these years.

Bababatty

@BenJay I know exactly how you feel re: being cheated. Like, well, I guess all those birth control measures were not necessary for the first few years of our relationship. ;-) 

I know it's easy for me to say this, but don't be too hard on yourself. It's absolutely not your fault, even if you didn't want kids originally. Creepy Internet hugs your way! 

BenJay

Thank you I will happily take hugs today.

I was totally laughing about how careful I have been all my life - birth control + condoms always. Absolutely unnecessary!

I have to remember that fertility isn't about "deserving". I have several friends who have done absolutely nothing to have earned their struggles.