2 under 2 mamas

mamaelle27

Thought it would be good to start a discussion for those of us who will have 2 under 2 (seems like a lot of us), and also for anyone who's experienced this before and has advice. 

On my mind right now (and I know it's probably too early to tell), will I be able to potty train DD before the baby or is it better to wait? Will I be able to move DD from the crib to a bed before the baby? 

helloaustin123

Me! My DD with be 18 months when the new baby arrives. Good questions! I've been thinking already of how I will take care of DD with having a repeat csection with this babe and the restrictions that come with that.

pghctwife

These last 2 will be pretty close to 2yrs (I'm due like 12 days after his bday) and my 2 oldest are 21.5 months apart. 

Imo: under 2 is very very very young for pt, and regression with a new baby is common anyhow, I wouldn't bother till later. I didn't find 2 in diapers to be a big deal at all, in fact I finding it so much easier than handling a baby plus a newly trained and not reliable toddler. I mean, public bathroom at the grocery store wearing a baby plus holding your toddler on hte gross seat in the tiny stall.... is about as much fun as it sounds. 

This is is a fact I have found most mom's will agree on: potty trained toddlers are so so so overrated. Once they are reliable it is super easy, yes, but the younger they train they longer that will take. I'd save yourself ht every trouble and just wait till she trains herself. My older 2 both did around 3 and it was incredibly easy and very few accidental.

crib is your call. My oldest I left in a crib bc he was a kid who needed to be contained. I got a  second one for free. Then he climbed out and got hurt so I've changed my tune on waiting too long on the crib. My second hated the crib so he was in a toddler bed from 1yr, and my 16m old is in hte crib for a few hours a night now. We are moving in a few weeks and at that point I'm putting him in a toddler bed; I think it'll me help get him down for naps, and I'm ont willing to risk him climbing out (and he is a climber).

thankfully

My first 2 were 2u2for a whole 2 days. I agree 100% with @pghctwife on the subject of potty vs. diapers. 

As as far as the crib, I think most would say do whatever it takes to get everyone sleep. If you have a great crib sleeper, no need to rush into a different setup. Base that decision on the kid and their readiness not the new baby. My 21mo is still in my bed so I'm not going to offer any actual advice lol. 

keniialise

This is my fourth and they all are just about 2 years apart - 20 months, 23 months and this one and my last will also be 23 months. - both of my boys started potty training the week they turn two, and honestly having a baby there at the same time didn't seem to be a issue. They also transitioned to toddler beds at the same time and it was super easy. 

We we personally love the age gap as you can tell it works well for our family that we wanted to do it over and over. 

FSUNole31

Mine two are 16 months apart.  We had them both in diapers for a bit and I started training my son a little after he turned two but it took forever because I don't think he was really ready so I wouldn't push it.  My daughter trained very easily at around 22 months but she was just ready to do it because her brother and the little girl I use to nanny for were doing it.  It was tough the first few months of my daughters life but now they seriously are the best of friends.  I am actually a little worried about this new one because the age gap is so much bigger.  I am sure it will be fine, but irrational fears are crazy.

doodleoodle

Mine will be a little more than 17 months apart. My MIL had her children close in age and said it was so much fun. Her biggest piece of advice was to always include the older one in the care of the baby. For example, "I think the baby needs a diaper change. Let's go change the baby." She also said caring for the younger will take a lot longer so for example, if the older one wants a snack, but it is time to feed the baby, you should get the older one a snack first because it will only take a couple of minutes. 

QueenNub

Won't have 2 under 2 as DS will be 3 in 2 months but he is mostly accident free and we just let him train on his own. We gave him what he needed. 2 months of praising potty use at home helped him train himself. He would go weeks without a pee accident but hated pooping in the potty. After 1.5 months of keeping him undies, he finally gets it.  

In August, we lost our home to flooding so that could've been the cause of the pooping but he is now 2 weeks free of all accidents. 

Best advice is don't rush the process. I wouldn't start worrying until closers to 3. Much easier for all involved. Forget what society says.

pghctwife

doodleoodle said:

Mine will be a little more than 17 months apart. My MIL had her children close in age and said it was so much fun. Her biggest piece of advice was to always include the older one in the care of the baby. For example, "I think the baby needs a diaper change. Let's go change the baby." She also said caring for the younger will take a lot longer so for example, if the older one wants a snack, but it is time to feed the baby, you should get the older one a snack first because it will only take a couple of minutes. 

I'll add to this. I often put hte older ones needs firs time because they understand and have to handle big emotions. Sometimes the baby can wait. I tried not to interrupt what I was doing with hte big kiss for fussing, or I'd ask them 'should we pause to pick up baby?' And they alsways said yes.

babywearing and mastering nursing one handed while walking around really helps too haha

mamaelle27

Ladies, thanks for the great advice! I hope we can keep this thread going. For those who transitioned a younger toddler out of the crib, what kind of bed did you use? A toddler bed, a floor bed, a regular twin with a safety bar? 

mamaelle27

helloaustin123 said:

Me! My DD with be 18 months when the new baby arrives. Good questions! I've been thinking already of how I will take care of DD with having a repeat csection with this babe and the restrictions that come with that.

@helloaustin123, I'm not a c-section mama so I can't comment specifically, but hopefully you can set up some extra help in the beginning, and know that it's just temporary and eventually you'll have your full range of movement back. I think we all need to give ourselves grace in the beginning and know that it'll get easier every day. 

pghctwife

mamaelle27 said:

Ladies, thanks for the great advice! I hope we can keep this thread going. For those who transitioned a younger toddler out of the crib, what kind of bed did you use? A toddler bed, a floor bed, a regular twin with a safety bar? 

My second was in a flood bed first (just the crib mattress on the floor) then once he had hte hang of it we used a toddler bed. I have my old bed my dad made me as a child so we used that. I put a pool noodle under hte fitted sheet to act as a barrier and then pillows and such on hte floor too. And a gate on hte door.

when we switch Rory next month it'll be the same toddler bed with pool noodle.

kfry22

Stalking this thread. My DS will be roughly 20 months in June. My parents are giving me a lot of grief for not waiting until he was two. Honestly I don't see what difference it makes

My concern is that the room we use for a nursery and my sons soon to be toddler room are very close together. I'm worried about the baby crying in the night and waking him up. Luckily he is a very heavy sleeper. Also we kept him in our bedroom for 7 weeks after he was born and I imagine we will do the same with this baby as well. 

FSUNole31

My so was climbing out of his crib at 13 months so we transitioned him first to just the side off the crib and a toddler bed rail.  It was challenging at first because we had to sit with him every night to get him to sleep.  We got a baby gate (a tall one with straight up and down bars he couldn't climb) -and started closing that when he got a little bit older.  He now has a double bed with a rail (he turned 4 in August) and he now finally stays in bed without having to close he gate. @mamaelle27

ladylolly89

It looks like I will have two under two! DS will be almost 14 months when this LO arrives. I never thought we'd be having kids this close together, but I'm thrilled. 

momma2char

Following this thread since DD will be 20 months in June- at the moment im planning on potty training her after the baby comes, unless she is showing signs of being ready beforehand. I've heard a lot of people talking about how there was a regression after baby #2+ came with "potty habits". Also planning on keeping her in the crib for as long as we can, until it's dangerous with her crawling out and getting into things while we're sleeping. I'll just buy a second hand crib for baby #2 and get rid of it once DD is done with hers, then move baby into DD's crib when she's done with it. I'll get much more sleep having my daughter in a crib rather than a toddler bed- I can only imagine the freedom she would feel in a toddler bed and having complete access to every toy, drawer and closet in her room in the middle of the night! 

lukafoo74

My kids are bigger now, but I had 2 under 2, so I will try to add in any advice that I can

lukafoo74

I am probably going to be in the minority, but my DS wasn't fully potty trained until he was about 3 1/2 and my daughter was about 3. A lot of poopy diapers, but almost better than cleaning poopy undies and pants! Plus, with two under two it becomes a huge pain in the butt to take two kids to the bathroom every five minutes anytime you go out. You spend the whole time making potty trips! I wouldn't stress about it, it isn't like he or she isn't going to become potty trained at some point. Oh...we also had to do a lot of bribing!

mamaelle27

Thanks for the advice, ladies. Along these lines, what kind of blanket do you use for your toddler? I'm super paranoid so at 13 months she's in the crib with nothing, but with winter approaching she needs something (Last winter she was in sleep sacks). And then if I do switch her to a toddler bed this spring, what kind of bedding would it need? (Pillows, blankets, etc, or still nothing?). 

babytuck15

Stuck in the box 

I'll have an 18 month old when this one comes. My sister and I are 15 months apart and my mom said she loves that we always had someone to play with. I figure the first couple months will be tough and then we'll have the hang of it!

momma2char

mamaelle27 said:

Thanks for the advice, ladies. Along these lines, what kind of blanket do you use for your toddler? I'm super paranoid so at 13 months she's in the crib with nothing, but with winter approaching she needs something (Last winter she was in sleep sacks). And then if I do switch her to a toddler bed this spring, what kind of bedding would it need? (Pillows, blankets, etc, or still nothing?). 

We have her in fleece pajamas with a light muslin cotton blanket- we will give her a muslin cotton quilt when the weather gets a little cooler

doodleoodle

mamaelle27 said:

Thanks for the advice, ladies. Along these lines, what kind of blanket do you use for your toddler? I'm super paranoid so at 13 months she's in the crib with nothing, but with winter approaching she needs something (Last winter she was in sleep sacks). And then if I do switch her to a toddler bed this spring, what kind of bedding would it need? (Pillows, blankets, etc, or still nothing?). 

You could use something like this 
https://m.toysrus.com/product/index.jsp?productId=66453086

Elyse1384

My DS (2.5yo) and DD (11mo) are 20 months apart and this LO will be 19mo younger than DD.  I have been "2 under 2" and will be moving to 3 under 4. I'm strangely looking forward to the increase in workload. We went through all the fun of introducing a sibling, moving DS out of the nursery, semantics of being outnumbered when parenting solo, etc.  I'm happy to share experiences with anyone worried about the change or just needing support.  I swear, it was nowhere near as tough as I expected and I don't feel like the workload increased proportionately.  

MotherofDragons

Trying this again because somehow this ended up in the PGAL thread?! What the heck. 


@pghctwif That is really good advice about meeting your toddlers needs first vs baby. I like how you framed the pause as well. Thanks for sharing! and I also have a Rory  

pghctwife

MotherofDragons said:

Trying this again because somehow this ended up in the PGAL thread?! What the heck. 


@pghctwif That is really good advice about meeting your toddlers needs first vs baby. I like how you framed the pause as well. Thanks for sharing! and I also have a Rory  

Aw! Is your Rory a boy or girl? There's another Rory on here too, Erica from my June 13 has a girl rory (forget her handle on here). 

I'm glad! I think that making sure to prioritize the big kid is really important to helping them feel like they weren't replaced. That they are important too and that sometimes the baby has to fit in around them. Giving them some control too. 

Oh and for those worried, ime the transition for the u2 (or even u3) crowd is pretty seamless since they quickly forget life before baby. It's harder for older kids to adjust. 

MotherofDragons

@pghctwife I have a boy Rory. And I honestly can't imagine loving another name like I love his if this one happens to be a boy. 

Praying41

My daugther will be just under 18 months when this one is born. Scares me to death. Good to hear I'm not alone and I'm just going to say you all are handling this very well. I'm kind of in panic mode. 
I wondered about the potty training too cause I'm dreading to have 2 in diapers but I guess we'll just see how things go. Probably will wait till she's 2 before we try. 
Our daughter slept next to my bed until she was 7 'on the so I think we will probably do the same with this one. That way she will be about 2 by the time we try transitioning youngest to a crib and oldest to toddler bed. She sleeps really well in her crib so I'll take that as long as possible. 
My biggest concern is our housing situation and daycare. We live in a 2 bedroom apt that is already tight for the 3 of us. Is it going to be possible to have a 2nd kid in a tiny apt or should we consider moving? Our lease ends next August so baby will be about 2 months at that point. And with regards to daycare, how the hec do you afford 2 in daycare. This is a lot to think about and prepare for!

pghctwife

MotherofDragons said:

@pghctwife I have a boy Rory. And I honestly can't imagine loving another name like I love his if this one happens to be a boy. 

Naming boys is so so hard. SOOOO hard. If this is a 4th boy I don't even know what we will name him! As it is, we are using Lynn for a middle either way haha. 

jackiemarie1989-2

pghctwife said:

These last 2 will be pretty close to 2yrs (I'm due like 12 days after his bday) and my 2 oldest are 21.5 months apart. 

Imo: under 2 is very very very young for pt, and regression with a new baby is common anyhow, I wouldn't bother till later. I didn't find 2 in diapers to be a big deal at all, in fact I finding it so much easier than handling a baby plus a newly trained and not reliable toddler. I mean, public bathroom at the grocery store wearing a baby plus holding your toddler on hte gross seat in the tiny stall.... is about as much fun as it sounds. 

This is is a fact I have found most mom's will agree on: potty trained toddlers are so so so overrated. Once they are reliable it is super easy, yes, but the younger they train they longer that will take. I'd save yourself ht every trouble and just wait till she trains herself. My older 2 both did around 3 and it was incredibly easy and very few accidental.

crib is your call. My oldest I left in a crib bc he was a kid who needed to be contained. I got a  second one for free. Then he climbed out and got hurt so I've changed my tune on waiting too long on the crib. My second hated the crib so he was in a toddler bed from 1yr, and my 16m old is in hte crib for a few hours a night now. We are moving in a few weeks and at that point I'm putting him in a toddler bed; I think it'll me help get him down for naps, and I'm ont willing to risk him climbing out (and he is a climber).

I won't have 2 under 2  (my oldest will be 2 and 3 months when this one is born) but this is helpful advice. I was considering potty training him a few months before baby arrives but this is a good point. A newly potty trained kid has to go RIGHT NOW as I have seen with my nieces and nephews, or else they have accidents. That can't be easy when youre in the middle of breastfeeding or otherwise caring for a newborn when the toddler's need strikes. I don't know what I'm going to do but it's food for thought. 

lukafoo74

Bigger sleep sacs!!

JessyKV

My first two are almost 22 months apart and I love it. My oldest is super Independent and was always a great sleeper so that made it a tad easier.  It's definitely a whirlwind.  My son is much needier so we decided to spread them out a tad more so he will be a tad over 2.5 when this one is born.  We did not potty train my daughter until she was 3.  She just was not into it at all and fighting her made it worse so when I let go and just let her do her thing she potty trained herself the month she turned 3.  Im waiting to see how my son does before I push it but it would be nice to have him trained before the baby comes but I really don't mind 2 in diapers.  

We are thinking about having them share a room so the baby can have the nursery since our 4th bedroom is in the basement and I don't think I want to put a kid down there.  My son is still in his crib so we need to transition him before the new baby comes. 

Moore2love2014

Mine will be 18 months apart. I think it will be super fun for them to grow up close in age! My nieces are 16 months apart and they are so close to each other, so I'm hoping my kids will be the same. 

I am am nervous that my son won't be potty trained in time,but I hope I'm wrong! 

pghctwife

GinaReed said:

Mine will be 18 months apart. I think it will be super fun for them to grow up close in age! My nieces are 16 months apart and they are so close to each other, so I'm hoping my kids will be the same. 

I am am nervous that my son won't be potty trained in time,but I hope I'm wrong! 

18m would be insanely young. And insanely hard to live with. 2 in Diapers is really not that big a deal!

bubblybeks

I am a mom of 2 under 2 as DD1 was 16 months when DD2 was born. New baby will be 22 months behind DD2. So I will have 3 under 3 come June. We are in a small 2 bedroom townhome so Right now DD2 sleeps in a crib in our room. She still gets up 1-2x/nightly. DD1 is in a crib in her own room. She sleeps all night in the crib and doesn't climb out till the morning. The plan is to transition her to a big girl bed and work on potty training (she'll be 3 in April) and then move DD2 into her room so they'll share a room and new baby will be in our room again. Not looking forward to all that work but better to get it done before June.
Due to the noise issue, we use sound machines in both the bedrooms and hopefully that will help when they do start sharing a room together.

shmarpler

Mine will be about 23 mos apart, so I guess I barely qualify for this board, but it does have helpful info. I plan to keep DD in her crib, and baby will sleep in the pack n play in my room. I don't plan to potty train until DD REALLY wants to. I watched a lot of friends push it early, and had so much more trouble than those who waited.

Also, in the winter, I put light cotton jammies on under fleece footed jammies to keep baby warm.

mamaelle27

I've been thinking about this all week. DD will be about 21 months when the baby is born. We're going to turn the bedroom that will be DD's big girl room into a playroom for her for now, and then in the spring get a toddler bed in there just to get her familiar. But, she'll stay in her crib in the nursery the first few months of the baby's life (baby will be in bassinet in our room), and we'll transition her slowly as she seems ready (maybe naps first). We're also not going to attempt to potty train before the baby arrives since it seems like it's more trouble than its worth. Obviously this could change as DD develops, but that's my plan for now. This will be so much easier if the baby is a girl b/c then we can just share everything (sheets, blankets, decorations, etc) across the two bedrooms. 

@shmarpler , that's a great idea with the double pj's on cold nights. Thanks!