Advice please I'm desperate

Sammy Lou

My husband and I have been ttc since June 2015 and are currently having infertility testing, since ttc many friends and extended family have got pregnant or given birth. But last night my little brother called me to say I'm going to be an auntie I should be happy but I just managed a half hearted congratulations and burst into tears no one else knows that we're even trying and now I just feel so selfish for being jealous and upset I can't avoid seeing my family but the thought of baby talk devestates me, what should I do? 

hoffmanr7

@Sammy Lou We've all been there.  I have a hard time keeping track of how many people I know have had babies/gotten pregnant since DH and I have been trying to conceive (since April 2015).  It's hard and just plain stinks but don't beat yourself up.  You are entitled to feel the way you feel.

I think you took a first good step by posting here.  Sometimes the best medicine is just being able to talk to people who are going through the same thing.  I know it has helped me a lot, and you won't find a more supportive bunch of women.

You mentioned that no one else knows you are even trying.  My advice to you would be to talk to your family and tell them what's going on.  When DH and I finally told our families, it was like a big weight had lifted off of our shoulders. It give the people around you and closest to you the opportunity to provide the support you need.  In fact, I've actually become very open with our infertility and have also told several friends and a few people I work with because I find that it helps cut back on unintentionally hurtful comments, like people asking when we are going to have a baby...etc.  In the end, who you tell is a personal decision between you and your DH, but I think it would help you feel better to at least tell your family.  This group is great, but you also need a support system close to you.

*hugs*

Labluver2

I think all of us have felt this way. Its hard feeling happy for people when they have the one thing you want the most and it comes so easy. I did finally tell my family and close friends BC I got tired of all when are you having kids comments. I have friends getting preg left and right and I want to be happy for them but its hard so I know where your coming from. Hang in there come to this board for support and even just to express your feelings. Its really helped me being able to talk to a group of people who understand and are going thru the same stuff. 

PoeMasque

I just want to second, or third what others here have said, we've all been there and it sucks. I literally have nightmares about friends/family announcing pregnancies. 

We have told people, so they know we've been struggling. It's definitely helped to have them know. We've gotten a lot of support and have everyone rooting for us as we continue down different treatment paths  

this board is a life saver when you're having a bad day (or are back at CD1, again). It's also been a great place to learn! 

lablover78

Everyone is different but some of my friendships were really struggling as I avoided my pregnant friends & new moms. However when I opened up about what was going on my friends were better able to support. 

Sammy Lou

Thank you everyone I've spoken with my husband and we've decided to talk to our family in person rather than on the phone as I think it would be too easy for me to change my mind and say nothing over the phone. Sending baby dust to you all its so comforting to have support from complete strangers just to know you're not alone mean so much