Just a vent

latershrader

I'm having a really tough day. I can't stop feeling weepy and sad. Not sure if it's hormones or what, I'm not on any fertility meds at the moment, waiting for AF. But I think that's part of my inner turmoil. I'm on pins and needles waiting for my period to start, and that's SUPER stressful. I'm also debating whether to call the RE or wait another cycle when life slows down a little. I have been feeling a huge disconnect with DH almost since we got the thumbs up to start IUI. BD is a thing of the past...and it feels weird to not HAVE to do it every other day. 

Oh and I spilled my purse on the ground in the pouring rain this morning AND spilled a half a cup of cold coffee on myself. I hate smelling like coffee. YUCK!

Anyway, it's a tough day. It's pouring rain outside and I am feeling sad and emotional. Thanks for listening.

mtpbadger

@soontobeshrader I'm so sorry that you are having a rough day. I think we have all been there where it's all we can do to not cry at the littlest thing. Sometimes all we can do is take it one day at a time and keep putting one foot in front of the other. Have you talked with DH about you feeling disconnected? If you feel you can have an honest talk with him, it might help you feel closer and let him know how to best support you. I've realized that sometimes the guys don't really know what we need unless we spell it out for them, and what we need can change and that's ok. Infertility is just plain awful!

This weather today is just plain awful! (I'm in the DC area) and I got some rough news yesterday regarding my cycle and completely lost it and the weather is not helping. It's a good day for just curling up under the covers and watching crappy television!

Just remember, what you are feeling is totally normal - just don't let yourself stay in that place for too long.

Monica54321

@soontobeshrader - Just want to echo what @mtpbadger said... it's totally ok to have rough days, we all do.  The waiting is the worst part of all of this, in my opinion.  I can take any news, but the not knowing and the waiting, and waiting just makes everything worse.  I felt a little disconnected from DH during our IUIs as well, but things got a lot better when we moved to IVF (because he was more involved in the process - giving shots, going to scans, ect).  His increased involvement in the treatment really helped us grow closer together.

ReesaAnne16

@soontobeshrader switching to IUI changed our relationship a bit too, but I really think it was for the better. TI was getting frustrating, and now we can go back to "dating" each other and there is no pressure that the night had to end with BDing. I suggest talking with your H about how you're feeling and then schedule a time for the two of you to do something fun (date night!) It will really help. 

Rainy days make me want to stay at home. I hope you can find another cup of something warm to sip and remember that rainy days are essential for anything that is growing; with rain comes a strengthening of roots. You are strong and I know you can get through this rainy day

derrian

@soontobeshrader

After two failed fresh transfers and a FET that did not survive the thaw. My husband and I decided to take a 3 month break. It is hard to take a break, when you just want it to work and be done with. But it was the best decision we could have made. 

You get a chance to not worry about drugs and calendars, you can go out and just enjoy each others company for a while.

I recommend a break just to give your brain (and body) a chance to chill out

I also think coffee smells Wonderful! There are definitely worse smelling things you could spill on yourself

latershrader

@mtpbadger Thanks for support. Btw, I'm on the DC area too!

@Monica54321 @ReesaAnne16 @derrian DH and I had a LONG talk that night and we have decided we both felt under-appreciated for all that each of us have been doing lately. We will both make an effort to be conscious of each other and our feelings. This marriage stuff is hard enough as it is, let alone with fertility issues lumped on top. We have to remember to make an effort.

oxinfree

@soontobeshrader - we've all had those kinds of days... more often than not through this journey I imagine. But good news is, each and every new day is just that... a NEW day. I hope you were able to turn it around. Be kind to yourself when you're having a day like that. Know that it's normal and understandable and you have a right to curl up in a ball and cry for a little while. But then picking yourself back up and finding something to do that brings you joy whether that's a funny movie with your DH, or something active like running. It'll remind you that even though life sucks sometimes, there's always something you can go back to, a baseline so to speak, that brings a smile to your face. Hope you have a great Monday. Ugh haha. At least the weekend is only 5 days away? Too much optimism? haha.

puppyluv13

I agree with all PP... Breaks can be a good thing. I hope you are feeling better and you have some brighter days ahead