November 2016 Moms
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Weekly UO/Confession/Bitchfest/Venting (9/26)

Sometimes you just need a place to vent/confess/whatever. So what is irking you this week or what UO do you want to get off your chest?


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Re: Weekly UO/Confession/Bitchfest/Venting (9/26)

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    Looks like i need to get this started :)

    My H gets stuck on the most random things sometimes and it drives me crazy. The latest one is concern over my mom wanting to find a cheap highchair/booster seat thing to keep at their house. He's afraid that whatever they find won't be safe bc she just wants one from a garage sale. This is the same person who seems ok with having the car seat turned slightly so it doesn't touch the seat in his car instead of just pushing up the passenger seat a bit despite me telling him that the car seat will be installed properly and not just however he thinks it should go. really dude? 
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    Not sure if it's hormones or what but there are very specific people in my life that have been getting on my nerves so badly lately for no reason. Sometimes I'll just see something that they post or even a picture of them and I just feel super angry for no reason. I feel so crabby and they've done nothing wrong! I feel super guilty. 
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    @kvruns the ikea antilop is an awesome cheap option for high hairs. Maybe it will be a good comprise since it's very affordable new.
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    thanks @erniebernie1 unfortunately we don't have an IKEA here - though we are getting one next year. There is a Summer Infant one for around $20 that is the foldable booster kind but hopefully he will forget about all of this before we actually ever use one at their house which would be sometime next spring/summer. 
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    My parents aren't happy about this baby. It's my first child and their first grandchild. My mom is not supportive. My dad can't remember what we're naming the baby. It's really upsetting. people always say to me that my mom must be really excited about the baby which is hard to answer. I usually just say yes she is because i don't want to get into it.  :(
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    that stinks @heatherC527 is this par for the course with how they usually act or is the behavior out of left field? 
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    @kvruns they are usually supportive but this isn't out of left field. For some reason my mom doesn't want me to have children. I've always wanted to have children and she's never been on board and I really don't know why. I'm 34 and married and this was a planned pregnancy. Ugh. I wanted her in the delivery room but she didn't want to be there. I told them to stay home and DH would call once baby's born.
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    That is terrible, I'm so sorry. Do you think it has something to do with their insecurity about their future place in your life? 
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    I'm procrastinating packing the rest of my hospital bag because I feel like it makes it more real that we are going to need it soon and I don't feel prepared to go into labor yet. Maybe I'll finish packing after my baby shower. I don't see myself getting it done anytime soon. 
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    My FIL and his GF offered to buy DH and I the car seat and stroller and I'm so thankful (we are not having a shower and have bought everything ourselves) but now that I'm not paying for it I'm overwhelmed with options!!!
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    The high today is 104°.  I'm too pregnant to be this warm!  It never gets this hot here (it was in the 70s last week and should be back   to them by the weekend), so we have no a/c.  I am dying.  
    BabyFruit Ticker

    BFP 3.8.16  EDD 11.20.16

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    @kvruns maybe... I really don't know. Thanks for listening
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    My DH's best friend is getting married next year- so he gets to jet off to Boston in March for a bachelor party (that will cost around $1k) then in May we have to go back to Boston for the wedding itself (another $1k). He is in the wedding so I will have no time with just him (we are leaving the baby with my parents here in NC when we go to the wedding). Also, this year he got to go to a bachelor party (another 1k) while I had to miss out on one of my closest friend's bachelorette party in the DR because of zika. I know it's not fair to play the comparison game, but we dont have an expendable income and it sucks that all this money goes to him having a great time with his buddies and I have been cooking a baby for what feels like my entire life, and then finally when I'm not anymore, all our extra money goes to him. I sat and just sobbed for a while yesterday. Logically I know it's unfair for me to react this way, but mama needs a break and fun too! 
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    ANZ116 said:
    My DH's best friend is getting married next year- so he gets to jet off to Boston in March for a bachelor party (that will cost around $1k) then in May we have to go back to Boston for the wedding itself (another $1k). He is in the wedding so I will have no time with just him (we are leaving the baby with my parents here in NC when we go to the wedding). Also, this year he got to go to a bachelor party (another 1k) while I had to miss out on one of my closest friend's bachelorette party in the DR because of zika. I know it's not fair to play the comparison game, but we dont have an expendable income and it sucks that all this money goes to him having a great time with his buddies and I have been cooking a baby for what feels like my entire life, and then finally when I'm not anymore, all our extra money goes to him. I sat and just sobbed for a while yesterday. Logically I know it's unfair for me to react this way, but mama needs a break and fun too! 
    I think that's an understandable reason to be upset. Sometimes we feel left out by everything we can't do, so while we love to see our husbands enjoy a lot more than us, a little bit of resentment can surface. I'd be lying if I said I never felt that way. Maybe you can organize a girls' night or mom's night out a few months after baby is born and husband can stay with the baby. 
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    ANZ116 said:
    My DH's best friend is getting married next year- so he gets to jet off to Boston in March for a bachelor party (that will cost around $1k) then in May we have to go back to Boston for the wedding itself (another $1k). He is in the wedding so I will have no time with just him (we are leaving the baby with my parents here in NC when we go to the wedding). Also, this year he got to go to a bachelor party (another 1k) while I had to miss out on one of my closest friend's bachelorette party in the DR because of zika. I know it's not fair to play the comparison game, but we dont have an expendable income and it sucks that all this money goes to him having a great time with his buddies and I have been cooking a baby for what feels like my entire life, and then finally when I'm not anymore, all our extra money goes to him. I sat and just sobbed for a while yesterday. Logically I know it's unfair for me to react this way, but mama needs a break and fun too! 
    I'd definitely plan a girls trip or something for next year doesn't even have to be a huge expense or big to do 
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    You might not feel so lonely at the wedding if you take baby with you...baby would be around half a year old then. DH and I are attending a college reunion for him and I'm totally taking our baby - I don't know any of his college friends and so while he goes drinking with them, I'm gonna stroll around with baby. I've been to plenty of weddings with babies too. 
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    tigerfish227tigerfish227 member
    edited September 2016
    @ANZ116 I agree you have every right to feel like you're getting the short end of the stick here. 

    I absolutely love roller coasters(I call myself a roller coaster junkie) and the theme park near us opened a new one this year. MIL decided we all needed to go as a family so I got to go walk around the park holding everyone's stuff while they all rode the rides, including this badass new coaster. DH also tried to make plans to go to Cedar Point this summer. The roller coaster capitol of the world! I shut that one down real quick. I told him you can't take a roller coaster junkie to one of her bucket list theme parks when she can't actually ride anything.... So we are going next summer instead. 
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    We just got an email that our work property management company is providing free donuts from my favorite place (which is not located near me, so it is a real treat) and apple cider on Thursday. But I'm going to be off on PTO Thursday and Friday so no donuts or cider for me. Cue the tears

    (and last week when I worked from home one day someone brought in this same bakery's donuts and I was so sad that one of my coworkers brought some in on Friday for my birthday). I think the world is conspiring against me and these donuts.
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    @kvruns Yum, apple cider! I will never understand why Dunkin' and Starbucks don't offer cider. I'd rather have a hot cider any day of the week over a pumpkin spice latte (gross!). 
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    @kvruns Yum, apple cider! I will never understand why Dunkin' and Starbucks don't offer cider. I'd rather have a hot cider any day of the week over a pumpkin spice latte (gross!). 
    this is my UO, but I don't like hot apple cider - only cold. and I hate everything pumpkin!
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    I want to say it's hormones, but I'm really starting to f-ing hate my job. It's a mess. We lost our supervisor, administration is doing nothing helpful, they aren't hiring a replacement for me as of now and my hormones are freaking raging. I've never moved onto another job before, but I think I might be spending some of maternity leave looking around.
    Married: 08.05.11
    Welcomed baby girl: 06.10.14
    Second pregnancy EDD: 06.16.16 MC: 10.29.15
    Welcomed baby boy: 11.25.16
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    Ok so we took our hospital tour last night and I am so disappointed and starting to have anxiety. The hospital I delivered DS at was new, big, and honestly felt like a day spa. I couldn't have asked for more. Since then, we've moved states and changed insurances and now the hospital I will have to have this baby at is just such a disappointment. The whole place is small, dark, and feels kind of dirty/dingy. The rooms you actually labor in are ok, but they have these weird rules that your partner or support person not allowed to use the bathroom in the room, only you, so they have to walk down the hall and find a different one. The waiting room on the L&D wing is so tiny, it's like a little corner with only 4 chairs and one small table and I used the bathroom in there last night and it was filthy. My biggest issue is with the postpartum rooms — since I've had previous c-sec and it's looking like the possibility for me to try for a vbac is getting slimmer and slimmer with the size of this baby, that's where I would be spending potentially 3-5 days — they are tiny and are double rooms (two patients) and have no windows. The size of these rooms is like the size of a single room in any other hospital I've ever been in, but no, there will be a recovering mama, a baby, a father, and two sets of other family members in and out of there. How is a mom supposed to rest and recover or feel comfortable breastfeeding in that situation? No sunlight, no room to move around, being woken up constantly not only by your own newborn, but somebody's else's, and having someone else's friends and family squeezed into your room. They also have more weird rules, like you can't bring anything you have to plug in (no laptop chargers, phone chargers, curling irons, etc.). WTF?! I'm supposed to stay somewhere for potentially 3-5 days and I can't charge my phone or laptop? Ok, rant over, but I am still freaking out.  :(
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    @mrsmoose5 - Eek!  That doesn't sound great.  The no plugs thing is ridiculous.  Can you ask why?  Were there outlets in the rooms?  As for the double rooms, I'very given birth in hospitals with thone, and didn'the actually have to share.  There was someone checking out when I was moving in.  Can you ask how often they use both beds, just for peace of mind?
    BabyFruit Ticker

    BFP 3.8.16  EDD 11.20.16

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    @MollySm prob to prevent choking and strangling. It's a suicide hazard too. Postpartum depression and all 
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    @MollySm prob to prevent choking and strangling. It's a suicide hazard too. Postpartum depression and all 
    Don't think she's giving birth in a mental hospital. Plus, I believe postpartum depression is more common further on down the road, not immediate. 

    @mrsmoose5 that's incredibly frustrating. I can understand not letting your spouse use the L&D bathroom in your room as they have to keep it sanitary incase you go in the bathroom during labor, if you're still mobile. Everything else though would make me very nervous. How are the ratings on this hospital? 

    To be honest, I knew I wanted to deliver this baby at the hotel-like hospital. So I searched my insurance for someone in network who delivered there, that's how I found my doctor this time. 
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    @mrsmoose5 I get what you are saying based on my experience too. We toured a location in our system during a maternity event just to see what it was like even though we knew we would be at a different location. This place was awesome, seemed so big, open, nice etc and then we did a tour at the one we're going to be at and it was such a disappointment. Even though mine is new it just didn't seem as nice and didn't have those little touches that made the other one seem so good (not to mention it was super disorganized trying to get the tour going so it sucked). They dont have any weird rules like yours with chargers or sharing rooms though so I shouldn't complain. 
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    @MollySm Unfortunately, I was so overwhelmed by the whole thing that I didn't even look to see if there were outlets in the room. I hope there are because, seriously, if I'm there for several days, I am going to charge my phone. Especially since DH will be gone a lot taking care of DS while I'm recovering. They did say that they try to only put one person in each room and will only double up if necessary, which is good, but I'm just nervous it's going to be a busy/full time and I'll have to share a room. I just don't like that it's a possibility and out of my control. The no window thing also really bugs me. I'm an outdoor, fresh-air loving person, so the thought of spending 3-5 days in a room that is like a jail cell and not seeing sunlight for that long just sounds awful. I think having had a c-section before and now realizing just how hard recovery is and just how hard life with a newborn is, I was really hoping for a hospital stay that would be as accommodating and conducive to recovery as possible. It's not like I'm going to get to go home and lay in bed and nurse this baby while I watch Netflix all day (like I did with DS), I will have a 21-month-old to take care of and very little help. So I guess I'm just dreading having a stressful hospital stay, then going home and immediately having to jump into the chaos of being a SAHM with a newborn and a toddler. Anyway, thanks for letting me whine. I know it's probably not that big of a deal, but I'm just disappointed and pregnancy hormones have me in all sorts of bad moods lately. 
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    My hospital only has 12 private rooms and the rest have 4 per room. I stayed in a room with 3 others after my appendix was out in August and it is hard. Whenever one person wakes you all do. There was a window but I didn't get to see it because it was on the other side of the room. And I had one person who's family didn't respect visiting hours. Luckily i was on medication that made me sleep a lot so I slept through most people waking at night. However it will be that much harder with a baby and they can not make all 4 babies wake the same time so I imagine I'll get NO sleep. 
    i would trade you for the POTENTIAL of one of other person instead of pretty much for sure having 3 others. 
    And I am having a section also. 
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    @kristah2 4 people in a room? Even with newborns??
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    @kvruns, we have this booster seat in lieu of a high chair and I love it. My parents have one at their house too -- it's $25-30, easy to clean, and small to store. It can also be used from 6 months up through when the child is ready to sit in a normal chair. Might be a good option for your parents?

    https://www.amazon.com/Fisher-Price-Healthy-Care-Deluxe-Booster/dp/B014D4H754/ref=sr_1_1_a_it?ie=UTF8&qid=1475092401&sr=8-1&keywords=healthy+care+deluxe+booster+seat
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    Yikes, I can't imagine a non-private hospital room, especially post partum. I know they exist, and I'm sorry for all you mamas potentially having to deal with that.
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    @mrsmoose5, definitely ask about the chargers policy. That makes no sense to me, other than to be obnoxious. Newborns aren't exactly crawling around tangling themselves up in cords hours out of the womb. I really hope it's not as bad as you fear!
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    @kvruns oh yes! They call it a ward. So I have to hope that there's not 12 mamas wanting a private room when I get there! 
    Ive visited people in them but my first experience staying in one was in July and it's definitely a struggle. I can't imagine with babies. 
    To make it better they cram 4 people in the same size as a private room they just add curtains. 
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    shevaCC said:
    @mrsmoose5, definitely ask about the chargers policy. That makes no sense to me, other than to be obnoxious. Newborns aren't exactly crawling around tangling themselves up in cords hours out of the womb. I really hope it's not as bad as you fear!
    I think this is just them being cheap and worrying about the electric bill more than anything. 
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    I think people prefer to prepare for the worst and be pleasantly surprised when it doesn't happen. People may have some risk factors that are just boring to talk about (like iron deficiency anemia, it can lead to premature labor but all you have to do is take iron pills to control it.)
    Personally, I expect to go into labor early, just because I was born at 36 weeks and both of my grandmother's pregnancies ended with labor at 35 weeks. 
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    kmmnocalkmmnocal member
    edited September 2016
    I don't thing genetics matters when it comes to delivery. As another example, I was born at 35 weeks, my sister at 37. Sister's three kids went 40 exactly, 40+1, and 42+1. Mom, sis and I all weighed within 5 lbs of each other when we conceived.

    Not saying you shouldn't be prepared, because I plan to be and there's certainly no harm in it, but I don't believe anyone's found a genetic link to preterm birth. I definitely don't want to get psyched for a 37 week delivery only to have to wait another month.

    ETA: I was also toes-down breech (a foot was hanging out by the time mom made it to the hospital, and I was her first) and my doc assured me that is NOT a genetic thing. Thankfully, my baby girl is head down at 32 and hopefully she stays put. 
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    Yeah but being prepared for the worst, hoping for the best is my attitude. I also lost my mucus plug a few weeks ago and even though it regrows, it is still not a great indicator that you'll make it to 40 weeks. 
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    @tigerfish227  I grew up 3 hrs from Cedar Point, and have even made the 12 hr drive there from NC since moving here as an adult. WAIT til you can go on those coasters! Best place on earth. Don't you dare let him go without you either :) 
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    ANZ116 said:
    @tigerfish227  I grew up 3 hrs from Cedar Point, and have even made the 12 hr drive there from NC since moving here as an adult. WAIT til you can go on those coasters! Best place on earth. Don't you dare let him go without you either :) 
    A couple of my cousin's went a few years ago and I've been dying to go. DH wouldn't have even known about it if it weren't for me saying I wanted to go so I can't imagine why he thought it would be a good idea to go while I'm on ride restrictions. We didn't go because I almost lost my shit on him when he brought it up but we WILL be going next summer. MIL and FIL might be going with us to help with baby or we might leave baby home with my parents depending on how things work out. I would hate to leave baby if we don't have to but I'm not missing out on those coasters.
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