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Why we are the way that we are

chloe97chloe97 member
in TTC After a Loss
Not sure if any if you read this the other day, but I came across this article while lurking in the TTCAL grad
groups. 

https://nymag.com/thecut/2016/09/ask-polly-why-do-women-obsess-about-babies-and-fertility.html

Polly hits the nail on the head. I feel like I'm buying a ticket to board the Titanic for a 3rd time while I'm still trying to come to terms with the trauma that happened the 1st and 2nd time. I'm sure other parts of her answer will resonate with you.
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Re: Why we are the way that we are

  • yolandamunozyolandamunoz member
    Yes yes yes 300 times hell yeah!

    Thank you for sharing. The comparison between infertility and cancer was so spot on. People just don't say the same things regarding other conditions, and they just don't realize it's so hurtful.

    Thanks for sharing @chloe97

    Married 06.21.14 / TTC since 11.15 /
    BFP 01.03.2016 / MMC 6w5d D&C 02.2016 // BFP 05.06.16 / natural MC 05.12.16
    Benched 06.2016-08.2016 / TTC again 09.2016! On a diet. Cranky.
    BFP 10.02.2016 / NT scan at 12w looked normal / Anatomy scan at 20w everything ok
    Team blue! / EDD June 11th 2017
    DAVID ROGER was born on May 23rd at 37 weeks.

    Architect, Peruvian living in Chile. I love art, opera and good chocolate.
    Started PhD studies in Architecture on 2017.
    Fur mom of a rescued miniature poodle called Luke Skywalker.


    Lilypie First Birthday tickers
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  • DungeonTrollMelDungeonTrollMel member
    @chloe97 we were talking about this in one of my other groups on Wednesday and I said the same thing. That line really stuck with me. I know something horrible is going to happen but some how I keep holding onto the hope that maybe I will some how make it alive anyway
    BFP #1: 1.22.16                 MMC: 2.29.16 ( tetrasomy 11, partial deletion 1, XXX) D&C: 3.2.16
    BFP #2: 4.14.16                 CP: 4.17.16
    BFP #3: 6.10.2016             CP: 6.17.16
    RE appt: 6.27.2016- saline sono all clear
    Progenity: + carrier Tay-Sachs, Gaucher's, hemachromatosis. DH: carrier Alpha 1 anti-trypsin
    PCOS, hypothyroid, MTHFR, hx of LEEP in 2006
    Clomid + TI Cycle #1: 50mg Trigger 8.24.2016- BFN
    Clomid 75mg + IUI#1 9.25.2016- BFP #4 10/6
    Beta #1 15   Beta #2 38    Beta #3- 71     beta #4 171   Beta # 5- 21  Natural MC 10/21
    HSG- clear
    IVF Jan 2017
    Egg Retrieval 1.22.17: 32 eggs retrieved,29 mature, 24 fertilized, 14 to blastocyst for biopsy
    PGS results: 4 PGS normal 2 XX, 2 XY
    FET: 3.13.2017 for 2 PGS embryos
    Beta#1: 3.24.2017......... 78; Beta # 2 241; Beta #3 4198
    Baby BOY due 11.29.2017






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  • chloe97chloe97 member
    @DungeonTrollMel exactly! I feel like we've been through so much and that I'm an idiot for doing the same exact thing and expecting a different result. The first 4-6 weeks after my last lost, I focused on just feeling better physically and emotionally, but now I'm honestly dealing with PTSD. 
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  • Hopefulmommy1980Hopefulmommy1980 member
    Thanks for sharing.  
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  • MimoCaMimoCa member
    Great read and so true!
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  • SoonToBeMommaHoweSoonToBeMommaHowe member
    I bawled the entire time I read this...the isolation, obsession, etc are so real and people just do not understand 
    DH - 34, Me - 32
    Married 7/13
    TTC #1 since 10/13
    BFP 2/4/15, MC twin boys at 18w3d 5/15
    IUI #1 2/25/16

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  • JDW0325JDW0325 member
    Good god that was amazing. Thanks so much for that 
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  • Aera11Aera11 member
    @chloe97 that.read.is.everything.  She is so right about it all. Thanks for sharing!
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  • dpjenniferdpjennifer member
    Wow. Thank you for sharing this! @chloe97 I'm right there with you and the PTSD. After my second MC I've had anxiety and depression issues like I couldn't even imagine!

    MC #1: D&C Oct 23, 2015 (7.5 weeks)
    MC #2: July 1, 2016 (5.5 weeks)
    MC #3: October 17, 2016 (CP)
    RE #1: RPL testing November 2016-January 2017
    MC #4: Feb. 28, 2017 (CP)
    RE #2: Additional RPL testing March-November 2017
    MC #5: January 2019 (6.5 weeks)

    RE #3: More testing 2023. 
    Egg Retrieval Sept/Oct 2023, 2 good embryos after PGT-A testing.
    Surgery for endometriosis January 2024
    Lupron Depo March 2024.  Benched 3 months.

    FET #1: June 3, 2024 (failed)

    Lupron Depo June 2024. Benched 3 months again before next FET.

    FET #2: September 2024 (failed)

    FET #3: December 2024 (failed)

    #BitterHagPartyOf1

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  • 2fitBees2fitBees member

    "You should pray that you might approach your own enormous challenges with the patience and grace that many of those women are conjuring."

    So much yes. Great read @Chloe97

    I am so blessed to have the love of my life, my DH, est. November 2008.

    BFP#1 Nov 2014, Missed MC at 11w, D&C on 01/06/2015

    BFP#2 Sept 2015, Missed MC at 6w, Methotrexate injection 3/25/16, released from Doc 5/17/16

    BFP#3 Oct 2016, Chemical

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  • rainbowturtlesrainbowturtles member
    Oh wow cue tears :'( She really hits the nail right on the head. I kind of want everyone to read this 
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  • TScaleiTScalei member
    This is amazing!!! I wish everyone I dealt with on a daily basis could read this and just understand.
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  • yolandamunozyolandamunoz member
    I want everyone to read this too!
    Married 06.21.14 / TTC since 11.15 /
    BFP 01.03.2016 / MMC 6w5d D&C 02.2016 // BFP 05.06.16 / natural MC 05.12.16
    Benched 06.2016-08.2016 / TTC again 09.2016! On a diet. Cranky.
    BFP 10.02.2016 / NT scan at 12w looked normal / Anatomy scan at 20w everything ok
    Team blue! / EDD June 11th 2017
    DAVID ROGER was born on May 23rd at 37 weeks.

    Architect, Peruvian living in Chile. I love art, opera and good chocolate.
    Started PhD studies in Architecture on 2017.
    Fur mom of a rescued miniature poodle called Luke Skywalker.


    Lilypie First Birthday tickers
    Report Reply
  • NewMommyCoopNewMommyCoop member
    Great article. Thanks for sharing @chloe97
    **TW - Loss & Child mentioned**
    Me: 40  DH: 47
    Married: 10/2015
    DSD: 17
    BFP #1: 6/2/15, ectopic, metho 7/15
    BFP #2: 12/4/15, cp 12/7/15
    BFP #3: 8/5/16, MMC discovered 9/1, Misoprostol 9/19
    BFP #4: 5/10/17, EDD 1/20/2018
    Baby boy born January 12, 2018, 6 lbs 3.3 oz, 20.5 in.

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  • KyCade3013KyCade3013 member
    I love this. Thanks for posting @chloe97 . I sent it to my mom and sister too!
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  • hartmichhartmich member
    I'll echo what everyone else has said - this article says everything I didn't even know I thought and felt. Yas. 



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  • kidriakidria member
    So good!!! Thank you for sharing @chloe97
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  • BitterBetty12BitterBetty12 member
    Thank you so much for sharing this @chloe97!
    Me: 28 DH: 26
    Married: November 2015  3 
    TTC#1: January 2016
    BFP #1: 5/02/16 - MC: 5/27/16
    BFP #2: 10/06/16: 6 - EDD: 06/20/17
    DD Born 06/23/17 3
    TFAS: April 2018
    BFP #3: 03/21/18 - CP
    BFP #4: 04/23/18 - EDD 01/04/19

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  • ladipaleladipale member
    Thank you @chloe97 - that was brilliant!
    **** TW - kids and loss mentioned ****
    ~~ married 8.11.07
    ~~ DD1 1.16.11 ~~ DD2 1.3.14 ~~
    ~~ BFP3 12.22.15 MMC 2.29.16 @ 13 weeks ~~
    ~~ 2 D&Cs (3.1.16 and 3.10.16) for MMC
    ~~ BFP4 10.27.16  MMC 1.23.17 @ 16 weeks ~~ D&E 1.26.17 ~~
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