Why my pregnant self is crying 9/22

Ekzerr

What's got you feeling like 

HGRich

This morning I got to work and dropped my bagel, my only breakfast, on the floor. My coworkers don't know I'm pregnant. They don't know I need to eat or I'll throw up. It wasn't good. Haha. 

scorpiomer

Heard the new country song that is a compilation of like 30 country artists and it totally had me bawling on my way to work last night.  Forever country is the name...and it was beautiful!!

NurseLaLa

I think I've cried an ugly cry every day this week. And I'm not really a cryer. 

Sunday: Feeling too distant from my SO and certain that we were breaking up after 3.5 years.
Monday: As above.
Tuesday: In the middle of class, I break into tears because of the SO thing and my boss emailed me wanting a meeting with myself and a union representative. First time that's ever happened in my 7 year career. 
Wednesday: Meeting happens and I am talked down to the entire time over a misunderstanding, my son is sick at school and needs to be picked up early from school. Send an email giving my resignation. 
Today: Practicum day, I am reprimanded for wearing jeans instead of slacks. Never been an issue before and this is the umpteenth placement I've had. Placement wasn't expecting a student. Son has an ear infection. I have to cram 5 errands into an hour period before going to my daughter's open house. I had a fight--if you can call it that--with my kids' stepmom. I admit I was abrupt in the sense that I walked up to her and the first words out of my mouth were "You need stop using [DD] as an in between" my next words were going to be "because she isn't being the most reliable it seems!" She's gotten us all in to trouble lately, you see lol

Anyway, before I finish my sentence there, step mom freaks out, yelling (I was quiet) to not bring this up in public--it was a loud area, we're in a solo corner, no one else could hear. We have... Had a great relationship prior to this. I digress and apologize for being abrupt and ask if she is alright as her body language, facial expression and everything else makes it seem like she's had a bad day; she brushes me off aggressively in a way I haven't seen before. I'm confused. Apologize again and ask her if she's had a bad day and she says yes and asks me to go away. I say okay I understand, I've had a bad week myself and she continues to ask me to leave her alone... Her hands are aggressive, her statements are abrupt. Not letting me get a word in, not really looking at me.

I haven't been brushed off like this as an adult by another adult... Outside of work. hah I talk things out and I don't leave things ambiguous like that, especially not amongst adults who are around my kids. So I cried. Then I cried because it was an impromptu changeover day and my sick son and upset daughter (she didn't want to go yet) are going to their dad's house. Then I cried because they're both going over there and I just had a fight with their stepmom who now gets to be around them. I cried more because my boss bullied me into taking a work shift tomorrow so I had to give my kids up a day early and I'm their mom, I'm a nurse, damn it. I should be with my sick kids. I've no doubt their dad and step mom will take great care of them, but the mom guilt, you guys. The mom guilt is strong. 

My lips are chapped and dry from dehydration from crying (and throwing up) so much this week. I'm a hot mess. 

HGRich

I've started to allow myself to think about how we will announce now, and got on Etsy looking for rainbow baby onesies to be here in time to announce in two weeks or so. I cried so much looking through them. It hit me that this might really be happening. 

I also got my fetal Doppler in and found the heartbeat. I recorded it on my phone and have been playing it for myself and crying. Haha!

ashleym112

Season 5 of Call the Midwife has finally been added to Netflix....I have ugly cried through each episode so far. I mean, I knew it was going to be emotional because of what it's about, but I was on another level last night lol. Plus this season has been pretty tough anyway. My friend, who also watches it, called me a pregnant disaster last night haha.

@HGRich I did the same when we looked for a big brother shirt for DS. Etsy is the best, hope you found something cute! 

HGRich

@ashleym112 I did! It was hard to find something unisex but I did in the end. 
I'm also a huge fan of Call the Midwife but will probably wait to watch it for awhile. Not that my hormones will get better the longer I wait though. 

ashleym112

@HGRich it's been really good so far. I think it's an emotional show no matter what lol! My friend and I were talking about how we miss Jenny though, and we're obsessed with Chummy. She's the best. 

HGRich

@ashleym112 I know. I miss her too. But I do love Chummy and I'm glad they still have several great characters. 

Dannylion24

Acquaintances of ours are adopting a little girl with down syndrome from Europe and finally bringing her home this weekend. Everytime they post an update or a picture/video I just start sobbing. I find the story so incredibly moving and beautiful. The toddler is truly a delight and I am so incredibly happy that she found her way out of the orphanage and into a loving forever family. I just wish every orphaned child or kiddo in the foster system had the same happy ending! 

BeachMommy2B

Before we got pregnant we have been planning to have our destination wedding in mexico next December. Well now not only will baby be very small to travel to mexico, but money wise its just not doable.

So I just got the last email today saying that we will not get any of our $2,500 deposits back. I know its not the end of the world, but just sitting here thinking about everything I could do with that money and that it basically was just thrown away makes me sick. I'm so frustrated with everything wedding related at this point. So I've been ugly crying for the past two days because I'm just so frustrated.