New and Overwhelmed

cgreen2014

I've been a lurker for awhile, but thought getting more involved would be a good start to coping with this journey.

Little bit of back ground

Me 27, DH 27 (perfect SA)
Stopped BC after 10 years and Started TTC Dec. 2014
Dx PCOS March 2015
Dx Hypothyroidism June 2015 (We spent a long time getting this under control)

Started seeing RE August 2016

We just finished a whole work up with out RE before deciding a treatment regime, cd 3 confirms PCOS, SIS looked fine, but alas I had an HSG done and the report says I have mild bilateral hydrosalpinx, distal on the right, medial on the left. Spillage was quick out of the right, and the left was blocked but they were able to get spillage, and my god was it painful. I don't see my doctor for a few days still. It's been a week since I got the report and I can't stop thinking about it. It's starting to feel like every step we try to take forward there is another bad Dx and set back. I'm worried our only option will be IVF (how do you even manage to pay for that), but praying the excess contrast used for my HSG caused a false hydrosalpinx or spasm (he used ALL of it to try and unblock the left side).

How on earth do you stay positive about this infertility journey? I'm having a really hard time with trying to be optimistic

Sorry for the rant, DH and I are in this on our own as our families don't seem to understand what the problem is, even though we're tried explaining, and I feel like I'm going to burst.

Elyse1384

I'm sorry you find yourself here, but please know you are not alone.  This board is great for seeking advice or just needing a place to vent.  

I have PCOS and ultimately IVF is the route we went.  That said, others have had success with IUI and close monitoring.  It's good that one side had some spillage, but the annoying thing will be months were a dominant follicle is not on the right and you might find yourself having to miss a cycle or have iffy results.  All those IUIs can add up to a single IVF in some instances, but it really depends on your finances and desired approach.  Check to see of insurance covers anything (some states require coverage and some plans might give partial coverage regardless).  

Labluver2

Welcome, I'm also new to this board and just starting my journey as well. You will find alot of support and help lurking and reading on this site. It is very emoional, stressful and overwhelming so know you are not alone with your feelings. 

I try to remain positive and just take it one day at a time. My DH and my insurance only pays for the dianostic testing every thing else is out of pocket. We are looking (if it comes to needing more evasive treatment) into financal programs to help us if we need to do IUI. There are options out there. 

cgreen2014

We had our follow up with our doctor, and he thinks I have some endometriosis and scar tissue caused by it, so the the hydrosalpinx reported by the radiologist are cysts. I can't get in to a Lap until Nov. 21st, and my insurance only covers half of treatment including this (yikes!), but we're going to go ahead with it. He seems to think we'll be all set to just deal with the PCOS after this, so fingers crossed. Thanks for the encouragement ladies - I'm still nervous, but at least I feel like maybe there are options?

nellin-2

Welcome and good luck! 

Infertility is always easier when you have a diagnosis and a plan. Good luck getting that plan sorted. 

I'm not sure how much you already know about PCOS but there are non-medical things you can do while you wait with diet, exercise and losing weight (IF you are overweight, I know not everyone with PCOS is overweight). 
I felt better knowing that I could do something while I waited for surgeries that I needed before we could start TTC. Who knows how much difference it made but mindset is important to get through this process! 

Polythene Pam

It's so hard, you aren't alone! I have one blocked tube and we tried clomid (also good for PCOS) and I did acupuncture as well, hoping to stimulate the "good" ovary and tube. It ultimately didn't help but my doctor and acupuncturist were hopeful and had positive stories of others! I recommend acupuncture if you find one that specializes in fertility, my doctor was thrilled I was doing this and the acupuncturist would give me a good time to just vent to her while she set up the needles. Then it was an amazingly relaxing 45 minutes and actually regulated my cycle before even starting clomid.

that all being said we are about to start IVF... But it took us a long time to mentally be here. (And financially, ugh)

best of luck to you ❤️

dragonfaerie

I know it's very hard, and I'm sorry to hear that you have things keep cropping up. I tried to remind myself that every time we got a DX, it meant that there was something we could do about it, as opposed to the dreaded "unexplained infertility" DX that so many have to deal with. We tried two cycles of IUI that were cancelled, and my RE was very up front about what he felt was best for us, giving us all the information he could to help us make an informed decision since IVF is so expensive.
Try to find joy in little things and successes, but don't be afraid to recognize and express your feelings. Remember that no feelings are "bad", they just are. A big mistake I made was not letting myself really grieve the process, and I ended up having a HUGE crying fit out of nowhere that really wiped me out for a day. Journaling my feelings throughout, even doing videos of myself getting injections helped me keep grounded and even helped me laugh a bit. Make sure you and DH communicate about your needs during the time. It can be hard to have DH cry (it was for me,) but being vulnerable with each other can be very good for your relationship if you let it be.
Most of all, try to be honest with yourself about what YOU need. Do you need a mini-vacation? A day to yourself? To take a break from TTC? To get some cheap dishes and break them?

Praying for you today that you have peace.

Jsmorrissey

Welcome and sorry you are here.

It is extremely overwhelming. That's why this site is great, so many women can empathize. 

My family doesn't seem to care all the much either nor have they really asked me what is going on. So if I am so lucky enough to get pregnant I assume they will assume we "finally" did it (naturally). HA!

Hang in there!  No one will fault you for being overwhelmed, it IS extremely overwhelming, frustrating and can be sad at times.

PCOSat25

Hey there. I agree this process is extremely overwhelming and expensive. I also have pcos and one blocked tube. My DH and I are both 27. We started the dx and infertility treatment process when we were 24. Ugh. I seriously hate every birthday. Anyway we have run the gamut. Timed intercourse cycles with oral medications, IUI cycles with fsh injection, and finally IVF.

honestly though the cost of IVF is scary we had spent nearly 5000 on medications and IUIs before we even got to IVF. Had we just skipped right to ivf that would have covered almost half of our cost  

please know that there are financial aid programs out there. We got 25% off our injection medications through compassionate care. There are also grants you can apply for but the applications are only reviewed at certain times of the year. Your clinic can probably also give you information about load options if that is something you would be open too. 

My husband and I took a break and saved for 6 months after our iuis in order to pay cash for our ivf. No insurance coverage for infertility but luckily our clinic gave us a military discount. We just finished and had egg retrieval Monday. Cant do a fresh transfer due to overstimulation but we are waiting on a call from the embryologist to see how many of our embryos made to to blastocyst to freeze  

puppyluv13

Omgosh I totally know what you mean! My RE gave us a binder on IVF and it had the breakdown in costs... YIKES! Even if it's financed, you would be paying until your kid starts kindergarten! So scary to think about!!! I hope you guys don't have to go that route. FX!!

sasha29-2

@dragonfaerie makes a really good point; every time you get a DX, it's something you can address, and that can be a good way to look at it. There's a problem, but knowing what the problem is means we can try to treat/fix it, rather than just throwing a dart at an empty board and hoping you don't miss.

Does your insurance have a flex spending account? That can be a good way to pay for stuff like this, starting putting any money aside that you can afford now, so you've got a little something when the time comes. Plus most of the time those are pre-tax, so it lowers your tax burden a bit.  Worth looking into, although I know the costs are obscene.  

puppyluv13

@cgreen2014 People who haven't experienced IF have a hard time understanding our journey and pain. People don't seem to know a lot about IF unless they've gone though it, so it's hard for them to relate. I've found that being more open about it tends to help (for me anyway). Hang in there  

@sasha29 Great idea about the flex spending! My work offers it but I never thought about it being something to use for fertility treatments! Thanks

sasha29-2

@puppyluv13  Honestly, credit to my husband for thinking of it.  Back when we didn't know how much we'd end up being out of pocket, he suggested we start one up. Turns out we haven't had to use it, we're really lucky that we live in a state that mandates coverage for this stuff, but it was good to know we had it.