Pregnant after a Loss

Afraid to get excited

Hi everyone. I am 9wks 5days pregnant after 2 early MCs last year. I am feeling all the side effects of pregnancy which is reassuring, from nausea, weight gain, sensitive and LARGE breasts. But I am still having a hard time getting excited and feeling any type of bond. Previously, I felt connected the moment we found out we're pregnant. This time my fear of loss seems to be inhibiting any and all of those feelings.

Any advice, recommendations, similar stories would be greatly appreciated. 

Thank you!     

Re: Afraid to get excited

  • Congrats and welcome! I'm sorry for your losses. Your feelings are totally normal. I went between excited and terrified a lot in the beginning. It helped to remind myself that this is a different pregnancy and a different baby. 


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  • 1inthehopper1inthehopper member
    edited September 2016
    I agree with @waterfall213 I've been telling myself different pregnancy different baby too but the worry is intense and normal. Hang in there!! 
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  • I'm sorry for your losses but congrats on this new bean! I had two early losses before this pregnancy (I am 23 weeks) and it took a long time (well into 2nd trimester) for me to feel connected to this baby - it's perfectly normal don't try to force it or feel guilty for not feeling connected - it will come. :)
    TW: MMC
    BFP1 12/24/14 - EDD 09/07/15 (D/C 8w1d)
    BFP2 6/12/15 - EDD 2/22/16 (D/C 10w3d)
    Diagnoses and Treatments
    PCOS (myo-inositol, excercize)
    Indeterminant levels of APS IgM antibodies (baby aspirin)
    Sub-septate uterus (hysteroscopic septoplasty 12/18/15)
    BFP3 05/02/16 EDD 01/09/17 DS born 01/05/17
    BFP4 01/28/19 EDD 10/?/19 🤞🙏

    1inthehopperBok Bagok
  • Thank you! It is lovely to hear that I'm not a weirdo. Congratulations on your nugget, more than halfway!
  • You're definitely not a weirdo. I'm one day behind you and still not feeling connected. It's weird treating the symptoms of pregnancy like an illness to be dealt with and ignoring the truth of what's happening in there because I'm afraid to think about it or get excited. I'm past my loss milestone but it's still not easy to feel much better. So no, you're not alone. I'm so sorry for your losses and fingers are crossed for you and your new pregnancy! 
    Pregnancy TickerMarried 7/28/12
    Angel 6/7/16
    Rainbow (DD) 4/9/17
  • I am feeling exactly the same way. I'm 8 weeks tomorrow. I want to be excited but I'm so afraid. 

    My friend told me to say several times a day when I'm feeling the doubt, "I am pregnant and I love this baby." 

    I cry every time I say it. But it helps. 
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