Manners!!

Knottie1443649280

Am I the only one that has had people literally look shocked and respond with "Wow are you having twins" or "You are soo big" when I tell them I am 7 months pregnant?  1) I have only gained 17 lbs so far and 2) it's all in my belly.  Don't people realize that each pregnancy is different and how you carry?  Now, this is men and women and those women are moms themselves!  Like come on people... we are already emotional as is and this isn't helping.  So, NO i'm not having twins... and NO I'm not big... I have a child inside my belly... Ok, rant over!  UGH.... 

jmama1611

Ugh, people who feel the need to comment on the size of a baby bump are extremely annoying!

RhodaMorgenstern

I bought coffee in Whole Foods this morning. As I'm paying, the cashier goes "I certainly hope that's decaf." Seriously? Are you my OB? No, so mind your own business.

eribeau

I'm 8 months and just started showing. I lost 20 lbs in my pregnancy, and when I told people from 6+ months they'd look me up and down and say "Really..?" Like no, I don't really know, I've only been going to the doctor and seen my child through an ultrasound 3 times.

jenesiso

Before I was diagnosed with GD I gained appx. 30 lbs. After changing my diet I've lost 15. Since I was big before I got pregnant, people don't say much to me. 

People in general are horrific, so don't let anything they say shock you.

PrettyPalomino

I had two (childless) men at work say I must be going on Mat leave any day now... Like yeah, if by "any day" you mean two and a half months from now...

TheBorg7of9

Lady in the hallway at work said, "Nearing the end, huh?"  I said "Nope, still 12 weeks to go..."

Why do people open their mouths!

arcticseal-2

TheBorg7of9 said:

Lady in the hallway at work said, "Nearing the end, huh?"  I said "Nope, still 12 weeks to go..."

Why do people open their mouths!

I definitely got that a few times yesterday and I've got +/-8 weeks to go.

Knottie1458416769

Some nurse called me fat cuz I gained 30 lbs this pregnancy and said that's why I have gd and need to eat less or im going to hit the limit 

hollowway

I have people tell me they don't think I'll make it to Novemeber, cause you know, belly size is directly related to how far along you are. Nevermind that this is my second baby (to make it this far anyway) and I'm carrying high and all out front. I have 8 weeks left and want to punch people in the face. My favorite though, "does this one at least have the same father as your other." Cause the rings on my finger mean nothing.  

MrsBigTime

MaMaBear1323 said:

My favorite though, "does this one at least have the same father as your other." Cause the rings on my finger mean nothing.  

WTF?? People can be so freaking rude!! I don't even know what I would say if someone said something like that? As if it matters at all to their life?? 

kvruns

So tonight I went to the neighbors to collect my H from their drunkfest and neighbor (who was about 10 sheets to the wind) goes "wow you look really good. You don't look pregnant at all. If I saw you on the street I'd just think you looked like a big fat girl". Somehow this was supposed to be a compliment. 

whaat

When I went on the hospital tour, a labor and delivery nurse asked me if I was having twins after learning the due date. After she left, another nurse was like "omg I'm so sorry. I could kill her!"

Ash9614

Yesterday at my co-ed shower, my husband's friend asked in front of a bunch of other people, "but why are you so big??" Ugh. Part of me knew he was being an idiot but another part of me just wanted to cry.

His girlfriend is 33 weeks and I'm 32 weeks and I guess I'm significantly bigger to him? She was there too and we'd just chatted about how cute it was that our girls are due exactly a week apart. I didn't think I looked enormous in comparison, we both look 8 months pregnant. I did manage to mention to him that she's about 5'8" to my 5'3" so he can't exactly expect us to carry the same. 

I told DH and he was incredulous, saying he was going to kick his friends ass (not seriously). The friend has since apologized.

tigerfish227

I'm more annoyed at all the comments about how small I am. I know I haven't gained a huge amount(only about 18lbs) but my belly is measuring on track and the doctor isn't concerned. Commenting about how small I am isn't a compliment. It makes me feel self conscious about how much weight I have gained(or haven't) and just stresses me out. Instead of making me feel good about not being out of control and gaining a stupid amount of weight it makes me feel like I'm not eating enough and something might be wrong with my baby because of it.

Why can't people just say something like you look good and congratulations instead of judgemental comments about our bodies and their ideas about how we "SHOULD" look.

nataliepale

Oh wow.  I don't mind the bump comments, but as soon as someone gives me unasked for medical advice, like "I hope that's decaf coffee," I want to kick their head off.  What I eat or drink is between me and my doctor.

Muscatmommyof4

So this is a little off topic but I didn't want to start a new thread and believe me once you read you will agree this B***H has no manners! On Friday while dropping my 5yr off at school some B***H backed in to my parked car after I honked at her before she actually moved her car but of course she didn't stop until she hit me. We get out look at the vehicles there was minor damage and she seemed scared to share insurance so I offered to exchange numbers because even tho I thought it looked fine my DH could disagree and I wanted to make sure I had a way to get ahold of her she agreed we swapped numbers I text her immediately to make sure it was right said our goodbyes and told her I would text her after I talked and showed DH. When DH got home I showed him the bumper he noticed that it was popped out so I told him what the lady and I talked about he was okay said to tell her if they wanted to pay for it to be fixed instead of going through insurance that was fine but that it just needed to be fixed. I text the lady the next day telling her what DH and I discussed she asked for pics I sent them to her she said she had to talk to her DH and would get back to me about what they wanted to do I told her okay no worries. She insisted after I sent the pics that it was just a few lose screws nothing big even after I explained that it was popped out because the bumper is plastic. I explained that it wasn't a big deal just needed to be fixed. She text me today telling me she talked to a shop and to go there to get it looked at and an estimate so I did. The shop owner who was the one who talked to her looked at my bumper noticed that it was hit pretty hard and said the lady tried to tell him the screw thing as well even though he explained to her that wasn't the case but to send me in... Anyways after I sent her the estimate and explained what the owner told me and offered to give her the hard copy so she could share it with her DH she told me that because her bumper is damaged also we should just go through insurance I told her ok I would send her my info as soon as I got home and I did while waiting hours for her info I notified my insurance of the accident and explained everything that happened but had to call them back once I finally got her insurance info ect... My adjuster calls me after dealing with this all day and tells me that the claim isn't going to be as easy as we thought because she's telling her insurance that I hit HER! Even though I have the text messages of her taking responsibility and sending me to get a quote!!! She even gave a recorded statement saying I hit her and her sister can witness thankfully she can't but WHO does that??? I never thought that someone would act like they are taking responsibility and then lie to the insurance company! Who hits a very pregnant lady then lies??!?!? I'm so upset right now it's not even funny. Sorry it's so long needed to get it out! 

kvruns

@muscatmommyof4 ugh that sucks!!!!  At least you have those texts so hopefully that is something that can be used, and maybe the guy from the shop unless she first told him you hit her. I had something similar when I got rear-ended years ago, it was on a curved road where traffic backs up and I was stopped and the guy came too fast and hit me. We pulled up a bit onto a side road to get out of traffic, got info written down etc. Weeks go by and finally find out that he told his insurance I stopped in the middle of driving to let someone out so they made me partially at fault - even though I was in full stopped traffic and there was no where to let someone out where he hit me, you had to pull up 30 feet to where we pulled off the road before. But with no police report and it just being "he said she said" I couldn't do anything about it.

PrettyPalomino

Also tired of hearing about how I'm carrying. People keep saying "you look so great, it's all bump, can't even tell from the back" which is a half truth, but like, I still have 10 weeks to go. So, in 4 or 6 weeks, when you CAN tell I'm pregnant from behind, does that make me a fat cow??? I personally feel great, I don't care how I look, I'm becoming a mother! I really don't need compliments, I need moderate parenting advice and hand-me-downs!

Muscatmommyof4

kvruns said:

@muscatmommyof4 ugh that sucks!!!!  At least you have those texts so hopefully that is something that can be used, and maybe the guy from the shop unless she first told him you hit her. I had something similar when I got rear-ended years ago, it was on a curved road where traffic backs up and I was stopped and the guy came too fast and hit me. We pulled up a bit onto a side road to get out of traffic, got info written down etc. Weeks go by and finally find out that he told his insurance I stopped in the middle of driving to let someone out so they made me partially at fault - even though I was in full stopped traffic and there was no where to let someone out where he hit me, you had to pull up 30 feet to where we pulled off the road before. But with no police report and it just being "he said she said" I couldn't do anything about it.

My adjuster said I should be okay with the messages also she lied on a recorded statement saying she had video from the school when there are no cameras and I talked to the shop owner this morning letting him know my insurance was going to call him and explained why thankfully he said he would deal with it because she did tell him she hit me. Plus I filed an after the fact police report today so they know I'm serious! People are awful going through this and hearing how common it is it just blows my mind... I can't believe you were found at fault also what an Ass!!!

eribeau

@Muscatmommyof4 I would have demanded the insurance information to begin with. It sounds like maybe she doesn't have insurance, or has extremely high rates because she isn't the best at driving? I got rear ended last year after that person got rear ended. 3 car pile up. I was stopped on a hill and the car behind me was stopped like 12-15 ft behind me and the third car was going so fast up the hill texting and not paying attention that she slammed into the car behind me and pushed them into me. She was something like 7 months pregnant and had her 3 yo in the car with her. She tried to blame the accident on me, but luckily we had a sheriff at the gas station I was turning into that saw the whole thing happen. Hope you get it figured out. 

vmink

Am I the only one who doesn't mind it when someone comments about my bump/size? I'm extremely proud of how I look right now, I think that confidence is obvious because not one person has said anything to me that makes me upset/uncomfortable. I think the worst I've gotten is something along the lines of ''It's a good thing that you haven't gained a lot of weight'' which doesn't sound too horrible to me. 

MrsMaryK2016

vmink said:

Am I the only one who doesn't mind it when someone comments about my bump/size? I'm extremely proud of how I look right now, I think that confidence is obvious because not one person has said anything to me that makes me upset/uncomfortable. I think the worst I've gotten is something along the lines of ''It's a good thing that you haven't gained a lot of weight'' which doesn't sound too horrible to me. 

No, I'm right there with you. I get comments like "Whoa, look at that belly" and "You sure look pregnant" but I don't ever take it personally or get offended. In fact, I think it's sweet that people want to share in the excitement and I am also really proud of the way I look right now. If someone says something borderline I usually assume they mean well and brush it off. I just don't see the point in getting upset about something so trivial.

Now, if I got a comment like @nataliepale and the "I hope that's decaf" comment then I could see getting upset about that. That has nothing to do with your appearance and is entirely inappropriate. My aunt tried to give me a hard time for using half a Sweet n' Low in my coffee at my cousin's wedding this weekend and I shut her down right away. No one gets to comment on what I put in my body right now except my husband and my doctor.

kvruns

vmink said:

Am I the only one who doesn't mind it when someone comments about my bump/size? I'm extremely proud of how I look right now, I think that confidence is obvious because not one person has said anything to me that makes me upset/uncomfortable. I think the worst I've gotten is something along the lines of ''It's a good thing that you haven't gained a lot of weight'' which doesn't sound too horrible to me. 

I've been ok for the most part because I hadn't had rude comments, it was more of just oh look you have a little bump or comments about not having much which didn't bug me. The only one that I've minded was my neighbor saying I looked like a big fat girl. Even though the claim was that it was a compliment of not looking super preggo it is tough to just let that blow over. 

Knottie1443649280

Well I am glad I am not alone ladies!  Happy last few weeks for us all!!!

yosemite2018

The checkout lady at the grocery last night asked how far along I am and then replied "Aren't you big for 7 months?". I usually don't mind the comments too much but I couldn't believe that she asked that! All the weight I have gained has gone straight to my belly and I am normally pretty thin. I know she didn't mean to be rude, but I also can't imagine she would make a comment anywhere along those lines to someone who wasn't pregnant.

From now on I'm telling people I am 15 months pregnant just to see their reactions.

anne11716

@ash111916 hahaha I love the 15 months pregnant response! Seriously what is wrong with people?!! 

Muscatmommyof4

eribeau said:

@Muscatmommyof4 I would have demanded the insurance information to begin with. It sounds like maybe she doesn't have insurance, or has extremely high rates because she isn't the best at driving? I got rear ended last year after that person got rear ended. 3 car pile up. I was stopped on a hill and the car behind me was stopped like 12-15 ft behind me and the third car was going so fast up the hill texting and not paying attention that she slammed into the car behind me and pushed them into me. She was something like 7 months pregnant and had her 3 yo in the car with her. She tried to blame the accident on me, but luckily we had a sheriff at the gas station I was turning into that saw the whole thing happen. Hope you get it figured out. 

People are so messed up! I've backed into someone before and 2yrs ago I rear ended someone bad and totaled my car but I have never lied and said it wasn't my fault or tired to get out of it because shit happens that's why we have insurance. She dose have insurance or her DH dose I think she's scared to tell him she reversed into a parked car to be honest... Needless to say lesson learned I will never leave the scene without insurance info and a police report ever again! 

kvruns

Muscatmommyof4 said:

eribeau said:

@Muscatmommyof4 I would have demanded the insurance information to begin with. It sounds like maybe she doesn't have insurance, or has extremely high rates because she isn't the best at driving? I got rear ended last year after that person got rear ended. 3 car pile up. I was stopped on a hill and the car behind me was stopped like 12-15 ft behind me and the third car was going so fast up the hill texting and not paying attention that she slammed into the car behind me and pushed them into me. She was something like 7 months pregnant and had her 3 yo in the car with her. She tried to blame the accident on me, but luckily we had a sheriff at the gas station I was turning into that saw the whole thing happen. Hope you get it figured out. 

People are so messed up! I've backed into someone before and 2yrs ago I rear ended someone bad and totaled my car but I have never lied and said it wasn't my fault or tired to get out of it because shit happens that's why we have insurance. She dose have insurance or her DH dose I think she's scared to tell him she reversed into a parked car to be honest... Needless to say lesson learned I will never leave the scene without insurance info and a police report ever again! 

in my case I had the insurance info but it still lead to a problem. I know I didn't get a police report because it was a rainy day and we probably would have had to wait forever and I figured well I have his insurance info that is good enough.  Wrong. 

Muscatmommyof4

vmink said:

Am I the only one who doesn't mind it when someone comments about my bump/size? I'm extremely proud of how I look right now, I think that confidence is obvious because not one person has said anything to me that makes me upset/uncomfortable. I think the worst I've gotten is something along the lines of ''It's a good thing that you haven't gained a lot of weight'' which doesn't sound too horrible to me. 

No I'm with you, but I also have not gotten rude comments either! Everyone tells me I look great the only ones who say I'm huge are my kids and DH and I know they aren't malicious when they say it... I have to say tho if I were to get some of these comments i.e. The caffeine or telling me what I should or shouldn't look like would probably piss me off. 

Muscatmommyof4

@kvruns Right we don't think they are going to lie when they actually talk to insurance! When I filled my after the fact police report the officer told me no matter how big or small always call that way it's documented right then.

yosemite2018

My sister was hit (in the car) by someone who ran a red light, her car was totaled, AND she had a witness who actually happened to be on the phone with police at the time and told them what happened and gave a statement. The guy who hit her still lied and kept changing his story (insurance played along for a while too) until they finally believed my sister/the witness/police. Moral of the story is, ALWAYS get insurance info and a police report or written statement. It makes life so much easier after the fact. (The guy who hit her also happened to be my mom's good friend from high school who she hadn't seen in 20 years... You can't trust anyone!)

TheBorg7of9

Muscatmommyof4 said:

@kvruns Right we don't think they are going to lie when they actually talk to insurance! When I filled my after the fact police report the officer told me no matter how big or small always call that way it's documented right then.

You should also call your car seat companies to see if they need to be replaced.  Some kinds of car seats need to be replaced after any accident even if the kid wasn't in the seat.  Accidents put a lot of pressure on the belt path of a car seat, even if it is a minor fender bender.

Muscatmommyof4

TheBorg7of9 said:

Muscatmommyof4 said:

@kvruns Right we don't think they are going to lie when they actually talk to insurance! When I filled my after the fact police report the officer told me no matter how big or small always call that way it's documented right then.

You should also call your car seat companies to see if they need to be replaced.  Some kinds of car seats need to be replaced after any accident even if the kid wasn't in the seat.  Accidents put a lot of pressure on the belt path of a car seat, even if it is a minor fender bender.

My insurance company is replacing it for me they told me it's mandatory after any type of accident. 

Muscatmommyof4

@ash111916 That is crazy! I'm just glad my insurance believes my story and is confident her insurance will side with me it's just going to take a few weeks. 

TrulyBlessed22

@vmink - also with you.  I honestly don't mind at all and I've gotten almost every comment from "Wow, looks like You're about done" to "any day now huh" and "you're so not making it to November".  I should note that I'm petite and haven't gained a ton of weight and am STILL getting these comments from Family, Friends and complete strangers - still I'm unbothered.  The way I see it is - I'm pregnant soooooo

yosemite2018

This morning at the gas station the guy next to me said "You're getting fat, you should go on a diet." I knew he meant it as a joke but I was so fed up that I said "I have gotten comments from strangers daily and yours is by far the worst." Maybe he'll think twice about his "funny" (not!!!) comments to the next pregnant lady.

kmmnocal

MrsMaryK2016 said:

vmink said:

Am I the only one who doesn't mind it when someone comments about my bump/size? I'm extremely proud of how I look right now, I think that confidence is obvious because not one person has said anything to me that makes me upset/uncomfortable. I think the worst I've gotten is something along the lines of ''It's a good thing that you haven't gained a lot of weight'' which doesn't sound too horrible to me. 

No, I'm right there with you. I get comments like "Whoa, look at that belly" and "You sure look pregnant" but I don't ever take it personally or get offended. In fact, I think it's sweet that people want to share in the excitement and I am also really proud of the way I look right now. If someone says something borderline I usually assume they mean well and brush it off. I just don't see the point in getting upset about something so trivial.

Now, if I got a comment like @nataliepale and the "I hope that's decaf" comment then I could see getting upset about that. That has nothing to do with your appearance and is entirely inappropriate. My aunt tried to give me a hard time for using half a Sweet n' Low in my coffee at my cousin's wedding this weekend and I shut her down right away. No one gets to comment on what I put in my body right now except my husband and my doctor.

My perspective: Re: the  bolded above, for a lot of people, body image and size isn't trivial, though. I'm +20lbs at 31 weeks, which my doctor is cool with, but I get a lot of "Are you sure? You're so small!" Any comment about my weight or body gives me a lot of anxiety, I've struggled with body image for years and am happy to finally have it under control — comments on my size can be triggers. In comparison, other comments, like food comments, feel "trivial" to me. I find commenting on my outward appearance far more inappropriate. 

tigerfish227

kmmnocal said:

MrsMaryK2016 said:

vmink said:

Am I the only one who doesn't mind it when someone comments about my bump/size? I'm extremely proud of how I look right now, I think that confidence is obvious because not one person has said anything to me that makes me upset/uncomfortable. I think the worst I've gotten is something along the lines of ''It's a good thing that you haven't gained a lot of weight'' which doesn't sound too horrible to me. 

No, I'm right there with you. I get comments like "Whoa, look at that belly" and "You sure look pregnant" but I don't ever take it personally or get offended. In fact, I think it's sweet that people want to share in the excitement and I am also really proud of the way I look right now. If someone says something borderline I usually assume they mean well and brush it off. I just don't see the point in getting upset about something so trivial.

Now, if I got a comment like @nataliepale and the "I hope that's decaf" comment then I could see getting upset about that. That has nothing to do with your appearance and is entirely inappropriate. My aunt tried to give me a hard time for using half a Sweet n' Low in my coffee at my cousin's wedding this weekend and I shut her down right away. No one gets to comment on what I put in my body right now except my husband and my doctor.

My perspective: Re: the  bolded above, for a lot of people, body image and size isn't trivial, though. I'm +20lbs at 31 weeks, which my doctor is cool with, but I get a lot of "Are you sure? You're so small!" Any comment about my weight or body gives me a lot of anxiety, I've struggled with body image for years and am happy to finally have it under control — comments on my size can be triggers. In comparison, other comments, like food comments, feel "trivial" to me. I find commenting on my outward appearance far more inappropriate. 

Well put... Also, is like to add that (for me) it's not so much that I'm "getting upset". I try to be polite back to the people making the rude comments but that doesn't change that on the inside my head is screaming that something might be wrong because I don't fit the stereotype profile for what I "should" look like. It gives me anxiety after my first loss was a MMC where baby measured 3 weeks behind where I should have been. Someone telling me I'm "so tiny" makes me feel like something is wrong and I should be rushing off to the Dr to check on baby.

I know these comments aren't MEANT to be malicious but people need to stop and think before opening their mouths. Just because I'm pregnant doesn't excuse people from common courtesy and simple manners. If you wouldn't comment on how big(or small) a woman is normally why is it suddenly OK to be rude just because she's pregnant? Being pregnant doesn't make you less of a person and to be honest, our changing bodies can make us feel very uncomfortable and self conscious already without the added stress of people judging us on some standard they have in their head about what we should look like. Add hormones on top of that as well and you basically have a great way to make women feel like shit for something that should be an enjoyable and wonderful experience.

ZoeFer

Yesterday, I was at a cafe where there were only unisex restrooms. I was waiting on the line and a guy (in his late 20s) showed up and asked me if there are any male/female restrooms and I said no there is only one line. Then the disabled restroom which was a little further to me was vacated and this guy just got in there without asking me anything. What type of guy steal the bathroom line from a 8 month old pregnant woman ?