Marriage after a baby

cdmkruger

My boyfriend and I have been together for 5 years. We share a bank account, a house, and now a beautiful daughter. I had always hoped we would be married before having a baby. He is 6 years older than me and was ready for a family. One night he looked at me and said "let's start a family." I said yes just at the sheer fact that he may have not been proposing to me but in a way he was saying "if I am willing to start a family with you then were going to spend our lives together reguardless." I honestly wasn't ready for a baby at 20. I was in college, had a great job, but who can say they are ever ready for the leap right? Now I cannot imagine my life without my daughter. I can't say he doesn't want to get married, we talk about it sometimes. He just doesn't make an effort to pick out a ring. We have the money. He's not some jerk who treats me badly or anything. I guess it's just really hard for me because all I want is to be married. He doesn't have the urge like I do. Maybe he's too comfortable? Maybe I should have never agreed to move in or have a baby. I should have stood my ground. Now all of his family and mine keep asking "when are you going to make an honest woman out her?" Or they just call me his wife because according to them I might as well be. I'm struggling wondering if he would make me a mother, why not a wife? I guess I'm feeling low with a baby who gets my boyfriends last name before I do. 

Lizbeth86

Have you talked to him about it? Can you give him your reasons for wanting to be married and why it's important to you? Are you religious at all?

Maybe you can tell him that you didn't think being married was necessary to be a family, but you were young and now you realize that it is important to have that bond.

HeartLikeMine3

Tell him how you feel, not that you would leave him but don't you have some leverage now that you birthed his precious baby? I would just say now that we have our LO I really want to be a family(legally) and have commitment from you. 

kaitielynnrichardson

does your LO have his last name?  I would want to share the same name as my daughter and daughters father as well.  I know that's more of a legality, but at the same time, makes it feel like more of a family unit.. 

midge519

**Lurker here**
If you have the money maybe you buy him a simple ring and propose to him. He may not realize how much it means to you and you making that step will show him and get things moving.