@BaylieGirl That sounds like a stressful situation. We aren't telling my IL's until everyone else knows because they will go straight to FB, and we don't have it so we can't monitor what they say. They entered us in a giveaway for loss families without our permission a few months back that, in turn, notified a bunch of people we knew that we had losses without our permission (and potentially the MEDIA--thank goodness we didn't win). That pretty much sealed the deal that they weren't finding out until last minute. I hope your PGAL brain calms a little and you are able to enjoy your vacation and announcement and your doppler eases your worries when you get back!
@wishilivedinflorida oh my gosh.... that's so terrible! I can see why you are hesitant to tell them. I've been really fortunate to have everyone obeying my wishes! Actually I think they are just more terrified than me!
I don't have any plans to announce on Facebook or anywhere else, but I really want to set up a registry. This will be the first grandchild on both sides so there is no hope for any hand me down items. I have absolutely nothing except for some cute outfits! I need to start thinking about what we will need but I feel like if I sign up for that registry something will go wrong. I guess you can always cancel one if need be?
I have my NT scan on Friday. Hopefully that will give me some more confidence. The 2nd tri losses scare me too. I'm 13 weeks today!
@Spartanrd4 and @dubcompanion I'm in the same boat. Three more weeks until my next appointment...the last one went well, and we heard the heartbeat, but every time I start to freak out again a few days later.
Also, I'm super excited to be sharing the news but it scares me too to think how I would handle everyone knowing if something went wrong.
I try to stay away from triggers- DH tells me to "Get off the internet". I had to unfollow Jessica Zucker PhD @Ihadamiscarriage on Instagram because some of the posts/stories on there started giving me anxiety.
@spartanrd4 I follow her as well, but maybe it's a good idea to unfollow during the pregnancy. The stories on there are so heartbreaking.
I signed up for a registry! I realized that I kept telling myself that I would feel better once I got to certain milestones in this pregnancy and that really hasn't happened. I'll feel better for a few days after my appointments and then it's anxiety all over again. So I just decided to sign up for it anyways and allow myself that joy for my husband and I.
When I went for my bloodwork at the lab a few weeks ago, the woman who drew my blood asked if this was my first pregnancy. I told her it was my third but I was hoping for my first baby. I never know what kind of response I'm going to get when I say that, but she went on to tell me that she had two stillborns in a row. I couldn't believe it. She also said she had two children after her two losses that are my age! She told me not to worry, because worry won't change anything that will happen. I know this is so much easier said than done, but I try to think of what she told me when I get anxious. Women like her, and like all of you, inspire me everyday!
@sarahbobby that is my exact worry that I will have two stillborns in a row. So reaching milestones don't really excite me because I lost mines so late. The doctors try to tell me that it's highly unlikely that will happen but it's also highly unlikely to have a stillborn so late in pregnancy and it happened to me. Even statistics don't bring me comfort, they do the opposite to know that I'm part of that small statistic. Still happy to be pregnant everyday but at this point just impatiently waiting until February (I'm getting induced early)
@sarahbobby I signed up for a secret Amazon registry to collect ideas. I found it to be a great first baby step! I think it's a good idea, especially for PGAL moms who feel hesitant. You can make it public whenever you want or not at all.
@McDonald-bailey I hope I didn't upset you with my post. The statistics don't make me feel much better either since I'm part of the 5% that had two miscarriages in a row. I also have a uterine abnormality that only 1 in 4,000 woman have. I've been trying to forget about the statistics completely.
@wishilivedinflorida I just signed up for the Target one and I have to publish it for anyone else to see. Yippee! I definitely need ideas but don't want anyone to see it.
I'm sorry @DaniBanani16 I missed your post earlier. It's great that your DH is so excited about a rainbow baby! He sounds like mine in that he took our loss hard and internalized a lot of the pain. I worried that by doing so would cause him to be numb or afraid to connect to a new pregnancy, but he's been a champ the minute I got my BFP in July.
@Wishilivedinflorida I didn't realize your IL's were that intrusive and ridiculous about publicizing your guys' fertility. Ugh!! I knew that you were hesitant to tell but that is definitely the extreme. Man, if my IL's did that to me, they'd be cut out. I'm a very private person and those modes of announcing and TBH, AW-ing over my loss would be such a brutal breech of trust. Like, I wouldn't even want to tell them what I had for dinner the other night, let alone if I was growing a baby in my ute.
@mcdonald-bailey Statistics suck, for sure, especially when you've been on the losing side. I hope you have moments of joy throughout this pregnancy and that you get to hold your healthy baby in your arms in 5 more months (crazy to think of that though; it'll be here before you know it!)
@Spantanrd4 I am so afraid to
pull the trigger on any maternity clothes.
I don’t REALLY need them yet, but I could use some more lose tops to
hide my blump.
@jenny0228 FX for your NT and
NIPT. The waiting is horrible. I’m in it
now for the NIPT and have NT on Friday (16th)!
@wishilivedinflorida So happy to hear your good bloodwork results
& that your MS is subsiding!
@EALasagna45 gender TBD so soon!
I’m sure you’re just itching for the next week to go by! I hope it goes quickly!
@DaniBanani16 I wouldn’t pay for gender info early if it wasn’t
covered by my insurance. 4 weeks seems
so long, but if you’re feeling like me it will fly by. The last 4 weeks
certainly have now that I look back on them!
We have firearms in our house. I
don’t have a carry permit though.
@sarahbobby Wow! Another NT on
Friday! Good luck!! I saw an uptick of headache last week (wk
11). They just suck.
@mcdonald-bailey I think I would feel the same Déjà vu that you have with
your friend if I was in the same situation.
I’ve tried to do at least a few things “differently” this go around
because of the same type of anxiety.
@dubcompanion people and their comments about our bodies are so going
to get old quick. That comment irked me
for you already. Congrats on announcing!
@leipertsm Sorry you’re still gaggy.
I hope that stops soon too.
@chrstna618 my innards kinda confuse me sometimes too. Like how the holy hell does my blump expand
so damn much during the day?! Also I LOL’d
at accoutrements. I love that word.
I hope I didn’t miss anyone! Work has kicked my butt so far this
week. Having a hard time checking in.
1. How far along are you? 12+1
2. Next milestone you're looking forward to? NT scan on Friday and getting back my NIPT
(Materni21) results. Test was drawn on
Monday.
3. Rant/Rave/Positive Vibes: I am trying so hard not to be super stressed
about NIPT but it’s hard. I feel like
this is the final hurdle of first tri & then maybe I can try to start
planning and feeling more cautiously optimistic. I’m tapering off my prednisone, only have a
few more days of progesterone & 3 more week of lovenox and I will finally
be off all the “voodoo” meds and only on baby aspirin!
4. GTKY: Name 3 items you have to have in your
purse at all times. Credit
card(s), chapstick, tweezers (I don’t ever want to be in the position of
finding a gross random stray hair and not being able to pluck it!! They are so much more frequent these days!)
2. Next milestone you're looking forward to? Feeling the baby move. Now that the MS is mostly gone I really want that reassurance.
3. Rant/Rave/Positive Vibes: I'm with everyone else that passing the loss date hasn't fully helped. And my other baby would have been due this Saturday.
4. GTKY: Name 3 items you have to have in your purse at all times. Cell phone, wallet, and chapstick.
@dubcompanion It was very bad. DH and I didn't talk to the IL's for over a month or so because of it. We are very private people as it is and we had specifically told them to tell no one. They took it upon themselves to tell us that by not announcing our losses to the world that DH and I were isolating ourselves and not grieving in a healthy way. Luckily we did some damage control over the situation, but several acquaintances that work for the organization running the giveaway that we would have never chosen to tell found out about both losses.
Going forward, I'm really nervous about not only telling them we are KU again, but also about them respecting our parenting decisions. We will need to rely on them for some childcare and so forth, and I've already ran into snags. Before we were ever TTC, MIL refused to throw away DH's old crib and didn't understand why it couldn't be used for a grandchild. Safety first, yo! I'm hoping it gets better. Done ranting now, I promise.
2. Next milestone you're looking forward to? getting this "energy" everyone keeps talking about
3. Rant/Rave/Positive Vibes: We found out tonight we are having a BOY!!! So excited!! Our poor little guy (who's six) - the disappointment was palpable. When we told him he said "... but I wanted to have a little girl..." He was so dejected. I'm sure in the coming weeks he'll gain his excitement.
4. GTKY: Name 3 items you have to have in your purse at all times. lotion, pens, wallet
Re: PGAL Check In 9/12
@wishilivedinflorida oh my gosh.... that's so terrible! I can see why you are hesitant to tell them. I've been really fortunate to have everyone obeying my wishes! Actually I think they are just more terrified than me!
I don't have any plans to announce on Facebook or anywhere else, but I really want to set up a registry. This will be the first grandchild on both sides so there is no hope for any hand me down items. I have absolutely nothing except for some cute outfits! I need to start thinking about what we will need but I feel like if I sign up for that registry something will go wrong.
I guess you can always cancel one if need be?
I have my NT scan on Friday. Hopefully that will give me some more confidence. The 2nd tri losses scare me too. I'm 13 weeks today!
Me: 33 Hubs: 34
TTC since 5/2014
BFP: 7/27/14 MC: 9/20/14
BFP: 6/29/15 MC: 7/6/15
BFP: 7/17/16 EDD: 3/22/17
Also, I'm super excited to be sharing the news but it scares me too to think how I would handle everyone knowing if something went wrong.
Baby Boy: coming March 2017
@spartanrd4 I follow her as well, but maybe it's a good idea to unfollow during the pregnancy. The stories on there are so heartbreaking.
I signed up for a registry! I realized that I kept telling myself that I would feel better once I got to certain milestones in this pregnancy and that really hasn't happened. I'll feel better for a few days after my appointments and then it's anxiety all over again. So I just decided to sign up for it anyways and allow myself that joy for my husband and I.
When I went for my bloodwork at the lab a few weeks ago, the woman who drew my blood asked if this was my first pregnancy. I told her it was my third but I was hoping for my first baby. I never know what kind of response I'm going to get when I say that, but she went on to tell me that she had two stillborns in a row. I couldn't believe it. She also said she had two children after her two losses that are my age! She told me not to worry, because worry won't change anything that will happen. I know this is so much easier said than done, but I try to think of what she told me when I get anxious. Women like her, and like all of you, inspire me everyday!
Me: 33 Hubs: 34
TTC since 5/2014
BFP: 7/27/14 MC: 9/20/14
BFP: 6/29/15 MC: 7/6/15
BFP: 7/17/16 EDD: 3/22/17
@McDonald-bailey I hope I didn't upset you with my post. The statistics don't make me feel much better either since I'm part of the 5% that had two miscarriages in a row. I also have a uterine abnormality that only 1 in 4,000 woman have. I've been trying to forget about the statistics completely.
@wishilivedinflorida I just signed up for the Target one and I have to publish it for anyone else to see. Yippee! I definitely need ideas but don't want anyone to see it.
Me: 33 Hubs: 34
TTC since 5/2014
BFP: 7/27/14 MC: 9/20/14
BFP: 6/29/15 MC: 7/6/15
BFP: 7/17/16 EDD: 3/22/17
@Wishilivedinflorida I didn't realize your IL's were that intrusive and ridiculous about publicizing your guys' fertility. Ugh!! I knew that you were hesitant to tell but that is definitely the extreme. Man, if my IL's did that to me, they'd be cut out. I'm a very private person and those modes of announcing and TBH, AW-ing over my loss would be such a brutal breech of trust. Like, I wouldn't even want to tell them what I had for dinner the other night, let alone if I was growing a baby in my ute.
@mcdonald-bailey Statistics suck, for sure, especially when you've been on the losing side. I hope you have moments of joy throughout this pregnancy and that you get to hold your healthy baby in your arms in 5 more months (crazy to think of that though; it'll be here before you know it!)
@Spantanrd4 I am so afraid to pull the trigger on any maternity clothes. I don’t REALLY need them yet, but I could use some more lose tops to hide my blump.
@jenny0228 FX for your NT and NIPT. The waiting is horrible. I’m in it now for the NIPT and have NT on Friday (16th)!
@wishilivedinflorida So happy to hear your good bloodwork results & that your MS is subsiding!
@bok bagok FX for good NIPT and NT on Friday!!
@EALasagna45 gender TBD so soon! I’m sure you’re just itching for the next week to go by! I hope it goes quickly!
@DaniBanani16 I wouldn’t pay for gender info early if it wasn’t covered by my insurance. 4 weeks seems so long, but if you’re feeling like me it will fly by. The last 4 weeks certainly have now that I look back on them! We have firearms in our house. I don’t have a carry permit though.
@sarahbobby Wow! Another NT on Friday! Good luck!! I saw an uptick of headache last week (wk 11). They just suck.
@mcdonald-bailey I think I would feel the same Déjà vu that you have with your friend if I was in the same situation. I’ve tried to do at least a few things “differently” this go around because of the same type of anxiety.
@vino831 Yay for team pink! That is so exciting.
@dubcompanion people and their comments about our bodies are so going to get old quick. That comment irked me for you already. Congrats on announcing!
@leipertsm Sorry you’re still gaggy. I hope that stops soon too.
@chrstna618 my innards kinda confuse me sometimes too. Like how the holy hell does my blump expand so damn much during the day?! Also I LOL’d at accoutrements. I love that word.
I hope I didn’t miss anyone! Work has kicked my butt so far this week. Having a hard time checking in.
1. How far along are you? 12+1
2. Next milestone you're looking forward to? NT scan on Friday and getting back my NIPT (Materni21) results. Test was drawn on Monday.
3. Rant/Rave/Positive Vibes: I am trying so hard not to be super stressed about NIPT but it’s hard. I feel like this is the final hurdle of first tri & then maybe I can try to start planning and feeling more cautiously optimistic. I’m tapering off my prednisone, only have a few more days of progesterone & 3 more week of lovenox and I will finally be off all the “voodoo” meds and only on baby aspirin!
4. GTKY: Name 3 items you have to have in your purse at all times. Credit card(s), chapstick, tweezers (I don’t ever want to be in the position of finding a gross random stray hair and not being able to pluck it!! They are so much more frequent these days!)
Me: 39 DH: 40
Married: 12/6/2014
BFP#2: 10/28/15 MC: 11/24/15
BFP#3: 3/20/16 MC: 4/26/16
BFP#4: 7/15/16 DD: 3/18/17
BFP#5: 5/1/18 EDD: 1/12/19
2. Next milestone you're looking forward to? Feeling the baby move. Now that the MS is mostly gone I really want that reassurance.
3. Rant/Rave/Positive Vibes: I'm with everyone else that passing the loss date hasn't fully helped. And my other baby would have been due this Saturday.
4. GTKY: Name 3 items you have to have in your purse at all times. Cell phone, wallet, and chapstick.
Going forward, I'm really nervous about not only telling them we are KU again, but also about them respecting our parenting decisions. We will need to rely on them for some childcare and so forth, and I've already ran into snags. Before we were ever TTC, MIL refused to throw away DH's old crib and didn't understand why it couldn't be used for a grandchild. Safety first, yo! I'm hoping it gets better. Done ranting now, I promise.
2. Next milestone you're looking forward to? getting this "energy" everyone keeps talking about
3. Rant/Rave/Positive Vibes: We found out tonight we are having a BOY!!! So excited!! Our poor little guy (who's six) - the disappointment was palpable. When we told him he said "... but I wanted to have a little girl..." He was so dejected. I'm sure in the coming weeks he'll gain his excitement.
4. GTKY: Name 3 items you have to have in your purse at all times. lotion, pens, wallet
Baby #2 - March 2017