I feel stabby when I see new intros on the into thread or when people who have never participated comment on the labor buddy thread. I wish we could close off the board.
DH and I went to dinner tonight and I just feel kinda disappointed by it. He's just naturally a more quiet person (so polar opposite of me there) but he seemed extra quiet tonight... Like he literally had nothing to say to me or talk to me about. If I wasn't talking or engaging him in conversation, he was quiet. it just made me feel so disconnected from him in that moment. I feel like we're seeing our last opportunities to be just us and really be connected that way and tonight made it feel like we were miles part.... And then it doesn't help that we didn't get to go home together because I'm still staying with my friend's son while they're at the hospital. So... That's my petty problem (read: pity party) whomp whomp
@bnsmith I'm sorry - that's a really crappy feeling & I can kind of relate right now too, unfortunately.
My H acted like an ass this weekend & hurt my feelings probably worse than ever before. I've been so sad over not only that, but also the fact that we only have a few weekends left with just the two of us, and this one was totally ruined. I realize that he is scared to death over the fact that this baby is coming sooner rather than later and life is about to change...I know that's the bigger and underlying issue, but that doesn't change the fact that he was just downright selfish and mean. I'm having trouble snapping out of this funk & it sucks!
@Kaessi so sorry you guys are having a tough time too it's never fun but, to your point, even harder when you know there's a time limit on the number of moments you'll be able to have as just the two of you. Thinking of you as y'all get over this speed bump
@bnsmith85 my SO and I have those moments. All I have been for the past 8 months is 100% baby. So when we go out to to dinner, and I try not to talk about baby, it's hard coming up with something else to talk about for some reason and I feel disconnected too. It passes though and we pick right back up. Hugs, mama.
@bnsmith85 You are 100% not alone. DH and I have been super disconnected lately. I think we are both just tired of this pregnancy. It has been a lot harder on me and I rely on him to help more with DD when I don't feel up to it. I think when I feel a bit more human and he has his drinking buddy back, we will be in a better space. Hang in there. In a few short weeks things will change, but for the better, I promise.
Me (35) & DH (35)
Married: August 2009 DD #1 born 6/12/14 DD #2 born 10/31/16
@sjo_thetwins What did we talk about before babies? Why do babies suddenly make you feel like every other conversational topic has fallen out of your head?
Me:33 DH: 34 Married: May 2011 TTC #1: May 2015 DS: 10/20/2016 TTC #2: June 2019 #2 EDD: 2/20/2020
It didn't cross my mind that these are the last few weeks of just the two of us. Now I feel a ton of pressure to be with H as much as possible... as if I wasn't already feeling clingy.
Me: 32 & DH: 37
Married: November 2014
TTC #1 Since: October 2015
BFP #1: 11/18/15 - CP BFP #2: 2/8/16 - EDD 10/20/16 IT'S A BOY!!!! DS Born 10/16/16
Thanks @bnsmith85 - hope things get better on your end too! Like the others have said, I totally understand & empathize with the feeling disconnected. If I think of something random during the day that I would normally text him with, I actually intentionally "save" it now so that we'll have something to talk about when we get home. How sad is that...
@bnsmith85 my hubby is like that too, naturally quiet, unless he gets on a loop then help me god cause he won't shut up and he just ends up repeating himself and of course it's always things I don't care about lol. Sometimes though when I'm thinking "wow we literally have nothing to talk about" I just try to enjoy being in their presence. That's when I'll try to do little things like touch their hand or leg, look at them a little closer, enjoy the feeling of being -with- them that we often forget to do as well.
@Kaessi I hate it when hubby's have an underlining issue but somehow it gets turned on to us and they become mean - like we're not sensitive enough in our current state, we don't need that added in. My hubby gets like that as well, and it's hard to get past it, but unfortunately men are taught to lash out emotions than to talk. Just know you have us
Thanks @laurapcos - that made me tear up a bit (I'm highly emotional today)! But that makes me feel better & I am so glad I have you guys to vent to and turn to.
My petty problem from this weekend is my husband forgot a pen in his nursing scrubs that he put into the washer... so I ended up with an exploded pen all over my washer, dryer, and the laundry it was with.
Late late late, but we are having the same issue @bnsmith85 and @kaessi. I actually asked him last night if we were okay, because he has not wanted to hang out with me at all. He comes home from job #1 and goes upstairs til dinner, then works for 5 more hours and goes back up to his computer as soon as he gets home. He had both weekend days off and spent most of his time up there. I get really weird about this every back to school after we've been together all summer, but pregnancy is making it worse, I think. I'm interested to see what he does tonight.
I bet that's a really tough transition each year @ashleyp625. I talked to my H about everything last night. It took an hour of talking before he owned any fault or came to the conclusion that he'll be making any effort to try harder. His reasoning was, he's just quiet.... Which is true but sometimes it's just not all about you and you make effort for things because it's important to your partner. Anyway, we shall see how much trying happens in our household. Fx
@bnsmith85 and others aw, try to be nice to your SOs! I know it probably doesn't come across on here, but I'm one of those people who never talks. Talking all the time is exhausting. Also, I don't find it weird at all to have a nice, silent dinner together. To me (and many other introverts), being physically close to somebody while you're doing something enjoyable is very fulfilling. Obviously they need to be there for you, but silence doesn't always mean discontent!
My petty problem is I made @sjo_thetwins pumpkin swirled brownies because DH is in Africa (he doesn't like pumpkin), but due to living in Europe I had to make some changes in the ingredients and baking, and while they taste AMAZING , the consistency is off and they're soooo sticky!
It's not Saturday, but I have so much adulting to do today that I absolutely have zero will power to do and am 100% obligated to. I just don't want to ;( That is my petty problem. Whaaaa.
@bnsmith85 and others aw, try to be nice to your SOs! I know it probably doesn't come across on here, but I'm one of those people who never talks. Talking all the time is exhausting. Also, I don't find it weird at all to have a nice, silent dinner together. To me (and many other introverts), being physically close to somebody while you're doing something enjoyable is very fulfilling. Obviously they need to be there for you, but silence doesn't always mean discontent!
My petty problem is I made @sjo_thetwins pumpkin swirled brownies because DH is in Africa (he doesn't like pumpkin), but due to living in Europe I had to make some changes in the ingredients and baking, and while they taste AMAZING , the consistency is off and they're soooo sticky!
What ingredients did you need to change? Mine never got hard either, even the one left over that lasted about a week - I think it was the pumpkin mixture that kept it more pumpkin pie-like throughout.
@books&icecream ... It's hard to feel like it's not me when he can make an effort with friends but not me. I'm not asking for perfection, just a show of some effort. Tell me about your day, about work, about whatever you find interesting. I want to know!
@bnsmith85 and others aw, try to be nice to your SOs! I know it probably doesn't come across on here, but I'm one of those people who never talks. Talking all the time is exhausting. Also, I don't find it weird at all to have a nice, silent dinner together. To me (and many other introverts), being physically close to somebody while you're doing something enjoyable is very fulfilling. Obviously they need to be there for you, but silence doesn't always mean discontent!
My petty problem is I made @sjo_thetwins pumpkin swirled brownies because DH is in Africa (he doesn't like pumpkin), but due to living in Europe I had to make some changes in the ingredients and baking, and while they taste AMAZING , the consistency is off and they're soooo sticky!
What ingredients did you need to change? Mine never got hard either, even the one left over that lasted about a week - I think it was the pumpkin mixture that kept it more pumpkin pie-like throughout.
Do y'all think that just baking them longer would take care of that? If not, I'd think adding a bit more of the dry ingredients could help
@books&icecream ... It's hard to feel like it's not me when he can make an effort with friends but not me. I'm not asking for perfection, just a show of some effort. Tell me about your day, about work, about whatever you find interesting. I want to know!
This! Hubby can laugh and joke (will even talk on the phone!!) with his male friend from work but goes quiet with me - most days I don't let it bother me but on those sensitive needy days?! Oh gawd!
@bnsmith85 and others aw, try to be nice to your SOs! I know it probably doesn't come across on here, but I'm one of those people who never talks. Talking all the time is exhausting. Also, I don't find it weird at all to have a nice, silent dinner together. To me (and many other introverts), being physically close to somebody while you're doing something enjoyable is very fulfilling. Obviously they need to be there for you, but silence doesn't always mean discontent!
My petty problem is I made @sjo_thetwins pumpkin swirled brownies because DH is in Africa (he doesn't like pumpkin), but due to living in Europe I had to make some changes in the ingredients and baking, and while they taste AMAZING , the consistency is off and they're soooo sticky!
What ingredients did you need to change? Mine never got hard either, even the one left over that lasted about a week - I think it was the pumpkin mixture that kept it more pumpkin pie-like throughout.
Do y'all think that just baking them longer would take care of that? If not, I'd think adding a bit more of the dry ingredients could help
This is a secret my Aunt Anna taught me whilst starting out baking in my early teens- if at first anything is too wet, too sticky, or too soft, add 1/4 of flour next time. It has never let me down.
@bnsmith85@LauraPCOS Obviously I don't know your partners so I have NO idea what's up with them, just wanted to put it out there that, at least for some people, lack of talking doesn't mean lack of interest.
@sjo_thetwins@bnsmith85 I originally thought it was the fact that the cream cheese wasn't very firm and that I baked it using "surround air" (no idea what the English word is), but you're right, it does have a bit of fudgy pumpkin pie consistency! Maybe I just need to use a fork and add some whipped cream!
Thanks @books&icecream ... I teally do appreciate the perspective. This is a little bit about actual upset over the situation and a lot of worry over the impending change that we're about to go through. Usually things like this just pass and go back to normal. I feel like we don't have time for that now.
@sjo_thetwins - I thought they sounded delicious as is too
Re: Petty Problem Saturday! 9/10/16
....just me? Okay. Oh well.
So... That's my petty problem (read: pity party) whomp whomp
My H acted like an ass this weekend & hurt my feelings probably worse than ever before. I've been so sad over not only that, but also the fact that we only have a few weekends left with just the two of us, and this one was totally ruined. I realize that he is scared to death over the fact that this baby is coming sooner rather than later and life is about to change...I know that's the bigger and underlying issue, but that doesn't change the fact that he was just downright selfish and mean. I'm having trouble snapping out of this funk & it sucks!
DD #1 born 6/12/14
DD #2 born 10/31/16
DH: 34
Married: May 2011
TTC #1: May 2015
DS: 10/20/2016
TTC #2: June 2019
#2 EDD: 2/20/2020
Me: 32 & DH: 37
BFP #2: 2/8/16 - EDD 10/20/16
IT'S A BOY!!!!
DS Born 10/16/16
@Kaessi I hate it when hubby's have an underlining issue but somehow it gets turned on to us and they become mean - like we're not sensitive enough in our current state, we don't need that added in. My hubby gets like that as well, and it's hard to get past it, but unfortunately men are taught to lash out emotions than to talk. Just know you have us
My petty problem is I made @sjo_thetwins pumpkin swirled brownies because DH is in Africa (he doesn't like pumpkin), but due to living in Europe I had to make some changes in the ingredients and baking, and while they taste AMAZING , the consistency is off and they're soooo sticky!
DS#2 due 25 April 2019
It has never let me down.
@sjo_thetwins @bnsmith85 I originally thought it was the fact that the cream cheese wasn't very firm and that I baked it using "surround air" (no idea what the English word is), but you're right, it does have a bit of fudgy pumpkin pie consistency! Maybe I just need to use a fork and add some whipped cream!
DS#2 due 25 April 2019
This is a little bit about actual upset over the situation and a lot of worry over the impending change that we're about to go through. Usually things like this just pass and go back to normal. I feel like we don't have time for that now.
@sjo_thetwins - I thought they sounded delicious as is too