Doulas? — The Bump
2nd Trimester

Doulas?

I'll be 17 weeks tomorrow, and I'm trying to decide if we want to pay to have a doula or not.

My sister is actually a doula, but she will have an itty bitty still when I give birth, so she won't be able to be my doula. 

That being said, I have a pretty large support system. My husband will be able to be off of work to be with me through the whole thing, and my parents live very close so they will be able to be there, and they are very VERY supportive and not pushy in theleast. They will respect any decision I have, be helpful and there for me when I need them, and stay out of the doctors way. My sister may be able to come up for a bit depending on how her baby is doing by then, as well as my in-laws will be able to come up to see us as well.

I had a threatened miscarriage a bit over a month ago, but the baby is doing absolutely fine now, and we may be able to find out in 3 weeks now what the baby will be when we go in for our Ultrasound. This is our first, and I am quite anxious, but with my family supporting me it has been so helpful.

I know Doula's are good for those who want to have a 'natural pain medication free' type of birth, but to be honest I plan on having an epidural. Im hoping to be able to wait until 4 cm, as I've heard that dereases the odds of needing a C-Section.

 

I guess my question is, is it worth it for our situation? With my threatened miscarriage I am off work and won't be working until a few months after we have the baby, and we went from having both of our incomes, to just my husbands. We may be able to swing it for a Doula, as we get some Christmas money. But I'm concerned that we would pay for a Doula, and not really need it, as we have so much family and my husband that will be supporting, and that I don't mind getting an epidural. Just thought I'd check people's opinions. Thanks!

Re: Doulas?

  • Sometimes you can find a person that must attend a certain number of births before they become a doula. Given the financial aspect seems to be a concern, this could be a good option for you. 
    July BMB 2016 July siggy challenge


  • There is one lady that I did contact asking a bit of questions to, and she is only $400, and she has had I believe 4 years of experience, and she said she was willing to work with us if we had financial issues. She's actually a friend of my sister, (though I dont think she is aware of that yet, I just noticed when I looked her up that they were mutual friends together. :) ) but my biggest question is, would it really be worth it in my case, as I do plan on having an epidural after 3-4 CM dilated and I will have many people around t support me. I don't want there to be so many people that the doctors/nurses want us to have some people leave, and have to pick between the person we paid to be there and a family member that I would want there too.. but if it's something that's worth it I would like to look into it. 
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  • Having family support and having a strong advocate for you, your baby  and your birth are completely separate things. Doulas help guide you through the birth process and help make sure your wishes are met within reason (very few births go as "planned"). They don't simply help make you more comfortable. They are there to know what your wishes are and to speak for you if you can't for yourself. They certainly are still useful with a medicated birth. 
    Mid say it is worth checking into. Interview her, to to know her and see what you think from there. 
  • I had a doula during my medicated birth and honestly, I think she was unnecessary until the pushing phase. However, I don't know that another nurse wouldn't have been just as helpful. My situation was weird, as I ended up with a doula I hadn't met before (the backup's backup doula) and she seemed somewhat inexperienced.

    If you think you will have the support, both physically and emotionally during your birth and are planning for the epidural, I'd suggest taking a lot of classes and reading up on birth and you'll be fine.
    ME: 32  DH: 32 DD1: June '16 DD2: March ‘19 :::: Married since 2011 :::: USN Wife ::::
  • Thanks so much everyone! I think I'm going to have my sister teach my hubby and maybe my mom some of the techniques, and just go with the family support. My doctor is very open to ideas and helpful as well. PLus I would hate to have to push one of my family members out that I want to be there so the doula can be there.. that would feel harsh. Thanks bunches!
  • For me the post partum doula was the way to go. The nurses and docs, and baby, will take care of L and D. But nursing and getting life going with a newborn? That's the tricky part I think.

  • It might be worth looking into but, I agree that pp support may be a better use of money. Most hospitals have excellent resources for breastfeeding help like a lactation consultant. Things going well in the hospital may quickly turn south when you head home. I had no trouble feeding in the hospital but, struggled once at home. Took me weeks to get confident in my abilities. 

    When you go in for L&D, there are lots of people asking you what you want and giving you helpful information. There is literally decades of experience in the room. You will also have your husband advocating for you, assuming he knows exactly what you are comfortable with. If you take a birthing class, the two of you will be able to talk about medical things knowing what might come up.
  • I didn't have a doula,   There's already so much going on and so many people trying to talk to you and give you direction that I think it actually would have been a bit annoying to add one more person to the mix.   Some women swear by them though!   


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