Miscarriage/Pregnancy Loss

Venting :(

It has been almost a week now since we we had an imcomplete miscarriage as the hospital called it and I feel indifferent I guess. I am ready to be done bleeding so I can move on and not have a reminder all day. I want to feel comfortable again. I want to feel normal again. My back and my hips are achy and I'm so tired. I feel awful for being bi***y but I just want a sense of normalcy again. Any advice? How long should I expect the bleeding to last? The Dr didn't give me much to go on really as far as a time line or anything. :(

Re: Venting :(

  • Your thoughts are perfectly normal. I've felt what you are feeling. I've also felt extreme sadness at times too. It comes and it goes. There is no wrong or right way to feel after a loss. As far as the bleeding, everyone is different. I had a D&C and had no bleeding following the surgery. I have heard of some people bleeding for a few days and others a few weeks. 
    About me:
    TTC#1: October 2015
    dx: PCOS & MFI
    IUI #1 w/Femara + Ovidrel June 2016 ~ BFP
    July 2016: Blighted Ovum
    IUI #2 w/Femara + Ovidrel September 2016 ~BFN
    IUI #3 w/Femara + Ovidrel October 2016 ~BFN
    IUI #4 w/Femara + Ovidrel November 2016 ~BFN
    IVF with ICSI January 2017 ~BFN
    FET February 2017 ~BFN
    IVF with ICSI March 2017 ~BFP--Twins Due 12/8/17
    Team Blue X 2!
  • Thank you ❤ I just passed what I believe to be the placenta so I am hoping I am almost done. That is the only thing I could relate this to by appearance. My cramping almost instantly went away except for an ache in my tailbone. We will see what tomorrow brings. I have to remind myself that tomorrow is always a new day. 
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  • I just finished bleeding and my incomplete miscarriage was almost a month ago. I agree while I was bleeding I just couldn't move on. It was the daily reminder that I lost my baby. Now that I'm done I have this sense of relief. All I can recommend is give yourself time to grieve and talk about it. Talk about what your feelings, good and bad. I think expressing myself to my mom and sisters helped me. I had told a few at work and me letting them know my experience has helped them open up about their losses. This was my first loss, now I don't cry every day or even every other day. I'm sending lots of thoughts and prayers your way.
  • I agree with PP.   Emotions go up and down on daily basis for a while. It's been 3 weeks for me since my d&c.  I was crying daily and would get angry but I can go days without crying and then for no reason start crying all of a sudden but I do feel better physically and emotionally than I did 3 weeks ago.  Talking about it has helped greatly.  As far as the bleeding, I bled for 2.5 weeks.  I go to doctor today and should get pathology report so I'm sure it will be an emotional day for me.  I'm sending you well wishes.  
  • Thank you ladies. It does seem lighter today so I'm trying to keep my hopes up that the end is near for it. I haven't cried a whole lot. Random cries here and there I guess. I did cry alot the day we came home from the hospital. I screamed and cried and just asked why as my husband held me. It's all he could do and we both felt hopeless for awhile :( I feel like keeping busy has helped aleviate the helpless feeling. We go to the Dr the 15th so we will see what they say 
  • I'm on 6 weeks of dealing with this (after many tries with misoprostol, I still had retained tissue, so I had a D&C today). I know during week one I was ready to be done. The feeling hasn't changed. You're not alone, many of us are sick of this process and ready for it to be over so we can move on.

    TTC#1 - 6.3.16
    BFP#1 - 7.1.16, (mo-di twins + singleton) due 3.15.17
    MC singleton - 7.13.16 - 5w
    MMC identical twins - 8.5.16 - 8w+2d
    Misoprostol 4x
    D&C - 9.12.16
    Hysteroscopy - 11.21.16 - Retained tissue filling half of uterus removed, blocked left tube, benched for 2 cycles, on estrogen/progesterone for 30 days
    HSG - 2.7.17 - Asherman's Syndrome. Both tubes open.
    Hysteroscopy 2.13.17 - Incomplete adhesiolysis for Asherman's, benched & on estrogen/progesterone for 30 days. At least two more surgeries needed...
    Hysteroscopy 3.21.17 - Adhesiolysis for Asherman's, benched & on estrogen/progesterone for 30 days.
    TTCAL #1: 4.24.17
    Hysteroscopy 5.23.17 - Scars reformed. Adhesiolysis. Unsure what to do next...
    Fertility acupuncture - started 6.13.17
  • TMI Warning... My loss was in April. On a Friday, I started bleeding. Bled heavily and passed large clots that day for several hours. Then it was a few more days of light clots and bleeding (like a period) but with intense back pain/cramping. Finally the following Wednesday I had really bad backaches and then passed the final piece of tissue (was mostly gray and firm) and just light spotting until Thursday. The following Friday I was no longer bleeding/spotting. The doctor said my uterus was empty and cervix closed and I was fine to start trying again. Did not need D&C.
  • Following - just miscarried this past Saturday at 11w5d (started in the car on the way to my parents' in my hometown - I was supposed to go to my cousin's wedding that evening).  When DH called the on call Dr. they told us to call first thing this morning and they'd squeeze me in.  Turns out they couldn't so here I am sitting at work not really being able to concentrate.  I think I was more in a daze the last couple of days and find myself crying more today.  I was grateful to have my husband's and even my parents' support as I experienced this (was first pregnancy).  Because I wasn't at the wedding, everyone asked where I was, so my mom kind of had to tell everyone - with which I'm fine because I know I didn't do anything wrong, it just sucks.  A lot we are wondering how soon we can try again because we feel serious time pressure with my turning 39 in a week and DH being 41 (we found each other late in life and just got married in June).

    I suppose I'll have more answers when I get in to see a doctor tomorrow (like whether there's anything still left in there), it's just frustrating because we'd hoped to have those answers today.  I'd had an episode of gushing and I guess what might be called mini contractions from a little before 9:30am to maybe 2pm on Saturday, then I was able to fall asleep and it seems to have reduced to heavy period bleeding (way heavier than my normal periods) for the last day.  So far today I'm down to light flow, but I'm still not sure whether to expect another episode (although the one was no joke - so much blood).  I really have no idea what I've passed.
    About me:
    Married 6/18/16 (Me 42, DH 44), TTC #2
    Natural BFP 8/10/16 --> mc our NIPT-normal little girl at 11w5d on 10/1/16 :(
    As of 12/2016:  AMH 1.42, FSH 6.1, AFC ~10
    Self-benched Nov-Dec 2016 for
    IVF #1 Jan-Feb 2017 (OCP, testosterone primed antagonist w/HGH - ER 2/2/17 - 12R, 7M ICSI'd, 3F, 0B)
    IVF #2 Mar-Apr 2017 (testosterone primed agonist/luteal lupron w/HGH - ER 4/8/17 - 10R, 8M, 8F, 5B, 1 PGS normal)
    IVF #3 May-Jun 2017 (testosterone primed agonist/luteal lupron w/HGH - ER 6/4/17 - 14R, 5F, 3B, 0 normal)
    **New RE**
    IVF #4 Sept 2017 (natural start microdose lupron flare w/HGH - ER 9/28/17 - 33R, 18F, 10B, 4 PGS normals!)
    FET #1 (medicated) of one PGS normal 4AA XX 11/2/17 - Beta #1 11/11/17 (153), Beta #2 11/13/17 (324), mc at 5w1d on 11/19/17 :(
    IVF #5 Dec 2017 - Insemination of 9 frozen eggs from 2012 (8F, 1B, 0 normal)
    Jan 2018 - Natural cycle ERA (normal/receptive) & stimming for
    IVF #6 Jan-Feb 2018 (natural start microdose lupron flare w/HGH - ER 2/3/18 - 17R, 6M, 4F, 0 blasts)
    IVF #7 Feb 2018 (natural start microdose lupron flare w/HGH - ER 2/26/18 - 19R, 9M, 9F, 4B, 2 PGS normals)
    FET #2 Apr 2018 (natural cycle w/o trigger, w/P4 support) of one PGS normal 4AA- XX 4/5/18 - Beta #1 4/14/18 (67), Beta #2 4/16/18 (231)
    Rainbow baby girl born 12/16/2018 (via c-section, induced at 39 weeks)

    FET #3 Dec 2019 (natural cycle w/o trigger, w/P4 support) of one PGS normal 3BB XY 12/16/19 - Beta #1 12/24/19 (139), Beta #2 12/27/19 (482)

    Lilypie Maternity tickers
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