Questions to Ask New RE

ChristinaV2015

Hi all,

So hear I am back again...

Going to try and make my long story short for those who don't know me.  DH (36) and I (34) having been TTC for 4 years.  July 2015 I found out my tubes were blocked and DH had low morphology.  We went through IVF and **trigger warning*** had a CP, did 2 more FET cycles which were both BFN's.  During these cycles my doctor spoke to me maybe 4 times and never told me anything about my bloodwork, embroyos, nothing!

 Went back to my gyno (whom I love!) in April and she suggested a laparoscopy.  During the lap she found mild endo, a stenotic cervix and confirmed PCOS... 2 of the 3 which my RE should've clued me in on based on all the ultrasounds and bloodwork!  She also was able to open my tubes (praise God!)  We tried TI for 5 months and when I went back to her last week found that my cervix had already scarred back up from the endo (presumably) and now she is sending me to a new RE bc we both did not like my last!

So now that we have that out of the way, I wanted to ask if you all had any suggestions for questions to ask at my new RE consult tomorrow!  I'm a hot mess over meeting with this new doctor... I'm crying and feeling anxious! I want this to work so badly!

Any suggestions would be great!

Esperer

I'm so sorry you are feeling anxious and sorry you had a negative experience with your first RE!  In your case, basic logistics will probably be important to know, like how often should you anticipate coming in for monitoring and bloodwork, and how do they update you on your progress each time (i.e. will they share your results/levels so you can learn and keep track)?  What meds/process would s/he recommend for you and what side effects should you anticipate?  You might want to ask how their office communicates i.e. will you be communicating with the nurses most of the time, who do you go to with questions, how quickly they will respond, etc.  Make sure you share your previous experience and maybe even ask how your new doctor would've handled it differently?

Good luck with your consult and hope this new doctor is a better one for you!  FX for a short stay here.

beary67

@ChristinaV2015 I'm sorry your first experience with your RE was so negative.  Having a good connection with your doctor is so important and I am hopeful that you will feel more comfortable with your new RE!   As @Esperer stated, I think it will be very important to find out who you will be interacting with, and how much contact you will have with your RE.  

I hope your appointment goes well.  Looking forward to hearing an update on your experience! 

jwg9101

Hi there! Good luck with the switch. I switched doctors and have been absolutely thrilled ever since. I had one of those crappy rubber stamp doctors who acted like she worked on an assembly line instead of with people.

In my first meeting with my new doctor I emphasized how important it was to me that we have a real, personal relationship. I told her that I'm trusting her with the most sensitive and raw part of my life and that I needed to know that she genuinely cared about me as a person. I need her to be invested in our success and supportive if we fail. She and I talked for an hour and a half during that first meeting- lots of it personal stories, laughter and tears. We really bonded and once this whole thing is over and she "knocks me up", I hope we can go on to be friends. 

When my husband met her for the first time, he emphasized that she's got to be on our team! She loved him and they chatted away like good friends! Now we refer to ourselves as "Team Gatling" and include my doctor and nurse! It's fun and we laugh and joke every time we go - which is a lot!

I say all of that to say that for me, the personal relationship was the most important factor. Now that I have that, I feel safe and comfortable. I can cry in front of them, I can advocate for what I want and push her to think of the best option without that stupid fear I used to feel. If you can establish that, I think the rest is all smooth sailing. 

For concrete questions, I asked about everything. I told her that it's important to me that I understand the ins and outs and I get her to explain things in detail. When she discusses my bloodwork or test results, I always ask what the baselines are and how she feels about my numbers. She draws pictures for me about what the body does and how it's supposed to work versus what my body (PCOS) actually does. Don't walk out of there without understanding every term she uses, what her plan for you is and why she recommends that specific plan! 

Best Of luck! This is your opportunity to change everything in a positive way!

Angelic789

Hi, sorry for your failures. But I absolutely support your idea as for the new RE.
Well, you'll definitely talk about age, any known infertility factors, number follies at last IVF, number oocytes retrieved, number fertilized, grade of embies, any in the freezer, 3 day or 5 day transfer etc.. Here are the questions we asked our RE when facing BFN (We passed ivf with donor egg in Ukraine):Why do you think this cycle failed?How do you think I responded to the drugs? What drugs would you recommend for my next cycle? How was my endometrium? If there were any probs what can be done to improve this? What was the quality of de eggs like?
What was the quality of the sperm like? Is there anything that can be done to improve this? What did the embryologist think about our fertilisation rate? What was the quality of the embryos?
Are there any further tests or treatments you would recommend before our next cycle? e.g. immune/blood clot testing, genetic testing of eggs/sperm/embryos, assisted hatching, embryo glue? Do you think the protocol used this cycle was the right one? If not what changes would you recommend for our next cycle. Do you have any other advice for us?Hope it helps. Good luck

jwg9101

Excellent questions! I'm saving this list!

ChristinaV2015

Thank you for all of the advice ladies! I met with the RE and I liked him.  I've already started on my BCP!

Esperer

@ChristinaV2015 so glad to hear it!  FX for you!