Ask a STM+ Week of 9/5

MrsRahl

Guys, I'm really worried I may never be able to leave the house again come baby 2.0. I struggle so bad with my toddler and going out, and I feel like I'm going to be a hermit for the next 3 to 5 years! Tell me it gets better 3rd time moms! Lol

aishmc

@Wholesome @MrsRahl thank you so much for all this great info! I've really been considering cloth diapering this baby if she's anything like me. My mom tried disposables with me, but I was allergic. All the cloth diapering information out there is so overwhelming though and my husband is not on board with the idea.  I think our biggest worry is changing in public and if the smell would follow us around.

ladysaceb

MrsRahl said:

Guys, I'm really worried I may never be able to leave the house again come baby 2.0. I struggle so bad with my toddler and going out, and I feel like I'm going to be a hermit for the next 3 to 5 years! Tell me it gets better 3rd time moms! Lol

There are certain situations I avoid alone because 4 kids (soon to be 5) 7 and under is to much for me to handle.  This doesn't mean I never leave the house. When LO is born, they sleep a lot, so you could wear the baby in a wrap or carrier and go to the library or to the park depending on the weather.  I still love to take the kids to fun things even if DH is at work as long as the situation is something I know I can control.  It does get better! You won't be stuck at home forever

ElleMF728

MrsRahl said:

Guys, I'm really worried I may never be able to leave the house again come baby 2.0. I struggle so bad with my toddler and going out, and I feel like I'm going to be a hermit for the next 3 to 5 years! Tell me it gets better 3rd time moms! Lol

It was so much easier to get out of the house after I had my second than with my first.  I think because you feel more capable of "handling" something should it go wrong.  I remember huge prep and days of mental preparedness in order to go to the store.  I also remember being home for about 3 days before loading up my 2 year old and newborn by myself and heading out to go grab a new sling at our baby boutique.  

I've left the house at least 3 days a week since I had DS2.  Once you figure out the logistics of getting them both in and out of the car safely and quickly it really isn't an issue.  I'm expecting to need a month or two to get a routine figured out with 3 of them but I'm hoping to get back into it pretty soon. 

Wholesome

@aishmc one thing that helped me tremendously in my campaign to cloth was the bottom line.  I'm all about details and have an obsession with making sure people understand me when I'm trying to convey somethjng, being misunderstood By people I care about is my kryptonite.  So, to make sure my husband understood how it would be beneficial in the long run financially, I made a detailed excel spreadsheet with the cost comparison of using cloth a disposables for 3 years (I think that was the timeline).  I calculated Costco packs of wipes and diapers, etc. for disposables and then broke down every associated cost of cloth, from the diapers and all accessories, right down to how much our energy bill might go up from extra loads of laundry.  He stopped being a roadblock then.  IN_J for the win.  Haha.

ETA
I distinctly remember finding out how many diapers were per every value pack of diapers per size and using the WHO weight curve to estimate how long we would be in each size, estimated an average of 2 wipes per diaper, how frequently we had to empty the garbage.  I broke down the cloth cost with different brands of cloth because at that point we hadn't tried any.  Haha.  I'm the sick type of person that enjoys that kind of crap.

ThePax89

@MrsRahl I am TERRIFIED of germs in January and a new baby. If I could sit home and snuggle the baby that would be great. But instead we are going to have to get germy at the library and stuff so we don't go insane. 

aishmc

@Wholesome that's a great idea! I love itemizing in excel so that's right up my alley.

@ThePax89 for real! Between the cold outside and flu season, I'm terrified of the baby getting sick. I took care of too many babies with RSV and keep jumping to conclusions.

JLJ2012

@MrsRahl, you will do fine! I swear I was the same with my first and it felt 100 times easier the second time around.  Since you have done it all before you know what to expect and have more confidence.  Now with my third it isn't even an option.  Starting at 1 week old this baby is going to be in the car for preschool drop off and pick up, plus wherever else his brothers and I go during the week.  Babywear the little one!  Keeps you hands free for the toddler and germs off the baby.

Teach123

@zdmd_14 I'm not a speech path., but I am a teacher. This is just #2 for me, but I'm exhausted too working full time and keeping up with a 3 year old.

I've learned to allow myself to rest and let my husband take over more with my son. House isn't as clean as it was, but as long as we're fed and have clean clothes then I'll let the other things go a little. 

I also keep reminding myself I am in the perfect career for children. My son will go to prek next fall. I'll be able to take him with me, and we'll have all the same holidays off. I also will get to spend a glorious 3 month summer with my newborn after school gets out in May. I know so many people don't get that option because when they return from maternity leave that's it. There's no more long breaks for them. 

zdmd_14

Teach123 said:

@zdmd_14 I'm not a speech path., but I am a teacher. This is just #2 for me, but I'm exhausted too working full time and keeping up with a 3 year old.

I've learned to allow myself to rest and let my husband take over more with my son. House isn't as clean as it was, but as long as we're fed and have clean clothes then I'll let the other things go a little. 

I also keep reminding myself I am in the perfect career for children. My son will go to prek next fall. I'll be able to take him with me, and we'll have all the same holidays off. I also will get to spend a glorious 3 month summer with my newborn after school gets out in May. I know so many people don't get that option because when they return from maternity leave that's it. There's no more long breaks for them. 

I'm really clinging to this.  It's already great being on the school schedule with my
girls but this was our first summer of me on the school schedule and it was dominated by killing morning sickness  
But you're right.  I'm going back to work at the end of March (which feels so soon--I took online classes when both kids were under 6 months) but then I'll have all of June and July off...

thats the tough balance though--those months and breaks off are great but I feel like bust my ass during the school year.  I just hope that it all evens out in the kids memories and also sanity-wise for me. 

Teach123

Yes, the school year is definitely hard, but just when I think I'm at my breaking point, we get a break. 

Also, I've had a hard day today that started out with morning sickness. My mom stopped by and brought lunch. She took one look at me and said I can tell you're tired what can I do to help. I played brave and said no I'm fine what could you do. She said well I could come and clean a couple of days a week to help out. I said sure if you want to I'd be glad for the help.

So the moral of this story, don't be too proud to accept help if you need it. If nobody volunteers and you can afford it, think about hiring someone to help a day or so a week. I know housework is one thing that gets me down the most because I like a clean environment, but after a day at work, I have no energy for anything but bed. 

Kurtni

Any opinions on owlet baby monitors or similar products? Did it help with your peace of mind or was is just one more thing to worry about?

ThePax89

@Kurtni I'm a very anxious mom and I did not have a monitor like these because I room-shared with my baby until she was 6 months old. After that, she never slept more than 3 consecutive hours without needing to nurse. The video monitor made me feel a lot better. 

lydia-deetz

Kurtni said:

Any opinions on owlet baby monitors or similar products? Did it help with your peace of mind or was is just one more thing to worry about?

I forget the name of the one that we had, but we used it right off the bat, and it gave me so much anxiety.  It blinked green when all was fine, blinked red if there was any kind of breathing disruption, and then an alarm would sound if the baby stopped breathing...or if the monitor fell out of place, which it did sometimes.  I would stay awake hours and hours just staring at the blinking light.  The pedi kindly suggested we throw it in the garbage.  Life greatly improved after that.

adorebella

@Kurtni I didn't have any monitoring device with Owen (other than the typical baby sound monitor) but I will be getting an owlet this time. Even when he was in our room for the first few weeks I sat up for hours watching him breathe at night. I wish I had had a breathing monitor for peace of mind.

LeahNicole

STM or even new moms. Did you use bumpers for the crib or plan on using bumpers if you're a FTM??

I've read articles online and heard so many things but stores continue to sell and promote them as well as people using them. Just curious about everyone's opinion!

Thanks  

stumptownmama

@LeahNicole no bumpers for us.  The warnings for using bumpers didn't set well with me, even though they are cute. We didn't do a bedding set. Just a crib sheet and a homemade quilt and blanket that she didn't use until 20 months old. When she was about 9 months I got mesh bumpers because she kept getting her legs stuck. They are breathable but definitely not as cute.

lydia-deetz

You don't need anything more than a crib sheet, @LeahNicole .

Wholesome

My son was in a bassinet for his first several months.  When we transitioned to his own room, his crib had bumpers.  I would not use bumpers if he was in his crib from day one.

cjs260

@LeahNicole My friend works as a forensic pathologist for the state, and has told me that bumpers are a large contributors to the infant deaths that she has to investigate. I can't remember exactly where she said it ranked but it was after co-sleeping and couch cushions, which I think are the top two. 

ETA: we won't be using crib bumpers at all. 

Teach123

No bumpers for us. Just a tight-fitting crib sheet. 

colleenkevin

No crib bumpers here either.

AshleySparkle720

Definitely no crib bumpers. When DDwas older we did the breathable mesh liner that velcros to the crib. Solely because she'd get her legs stuck when she was sleeping and it'd wake her up.

LeahNicole

Ok thanks everyone. I registered for some mesh ones and she will be sleeping in a bassinet in our room for a long while because the nursery is on a different level then our room. 

I've been around kids and babies my whole life so I'm not super nervous being a FTM but the thought of anything including bumpers in the crib scares me and I don't want to take the chance. I didn't register for a bedding set, I didn't see the point honestly, I'd rather use a comfortable blanket when she is older. 

A friend of mine is 10 weeks ahead of me and I asked her for her thoughts on bumpers and she said she was using them and seemed to have never given suffocation a second thought so I felt like a paranoid FTM. 

Thanks ladies! 

LastMango

No way to crib bumpers. They are a major SIDS risk. 

*TW*
My DH had a coworker that lost her 3 month old due to suffocating on crib bumpers a few years ago. It really hits hard when it happens to someone you know. It's a horrible story that I wouldn't normally share but if it can help keep just one baby safe, it's worth sharing. 

I honestly don't understand why they are still being sold.  

JLJ2012

I have used mesh bumpers when they are little and regular bumpers around 12 months.  My kids sleep in cribs for a long time and sleep up against the sides with their heads.  I would definitely not use with a small baby, but personally feel like it is no big deal once baby is a good mover/walker.  If you are at all concerned then skip it.  They are not necessary.

ThePax89

Definitely no crib bumpers. Massive hazard. But like others, I did use mesh bumpers at 4 months. My daughter would get her arm stuck and whip around with such force that I was genuinely concerned she'd dislocate her shoulder 

ElleMF728

Just an FYI on the mesh bumpers.  They are still not recommended as they can still be a strangulation hazard. The risk of baby bumping his head or getting a limb stuck is way more preferable than the risk of suffocation or a bumper tie around the neck.

christac1010

Okay STMs - I have a boob question. I started producing colostrum about a week ago. It's reached the point where I've developed a leaky boob. I'm getting spots in my bra throughout the day. I already have nursing bras (a happy accident when buying new bras), but would you suggest any breast pads or other alternatives to soak it up throughout the day/save my bras? Also the itching is driving me crazy. I'm using Cetaphil moisturizer (for sensitive skin), but is there anything else you would recommend?

Thanks in advance! 

stumptownmama

@christac1010 the nursing pads will help wick away the moisture and help reduce itching. I can't remember what brand i used last time but I did like the disposables better than reusable ones. The reusable ones got so wet and were uncomfortable for me. 

amandoza23

PMForbie said:

I got a question! We are doing cloth diapers and so far we've bought 30 of the ones that have snaps and grows with your child from newborn through potty training. I'm trying to figure out how many would be a good amount. One friend keeps saying I'll be going through 20+ diapers a day while Baby is a newborn (that is so intimidating), which means we'll be washing every. single. day.

Guess my question is how many diapers did you go through the first few weeks/months and what would be a good amount so I can do laundry every other day (maybe even less! I hate laundry...)

So in my experience, even though they say "one size" they don't fit properly until about 4 months. They are very bulky. We had some grovia AI2s and blueberrys as well as some fitteds and prefolds with a thirsties cover. We had about 45 total, although my stash quickly changed to fitteds since that was what worked best for us, and washed every other day. This time around, I've invested in some nb diapers as well. I know you didn't ask about sizing but as far as count, 36+ is a good number for every other day washing. Don't let it intimidate you! It's really not that difficult to get into a good groove.

karaelaine1991

christac1010 said:

Okay STMs - I have a boob question. I started producing colostrum about a week ago. It's reached the point where I've developed a leaky boob. I'm getting spots in my bra throughout the day. I already have nursing bras (a happy accident when buying new bras), but would you suggest any breast pads or other alternatives to soak it up throughout the day/save my bras? Also the itching is driving me crazy. I'm using Cetaphil moisturizer (for sensitive skin), but is there anything else you would recommend?

Thanks in advance! 

I never had to use nursing pads before DD was born, but after she was born I loved the Medela ones. They're available at all the pharmacies in my area (in fact, they're the only ones I've actually seen in stores other than the target brand). The only other one I've tried is the target brand and that was fine; I just preferred the thickness and shape of the Medela ones.  Also, rite aid was within walking distance to my apartment and Target was 20 minutes away.  

As far as itching goes, I used this essential oil spray that I got at an organic baby store near our old apartment... can't remember the name of it, but they said to stop using it about 3 weeks before EDD because it wasn't safe for baby to ingest.  But it did majorly help with itching, both on my nipples and my belly.  Maybe check out baby boutiques near you and see if they have any recommendations?

therealfrizzle

Thank you, @amandoza23. I never thought about sizing being an issue, but from what you and other PP have said, seems like having at least some NB sized diapers wouldn't be a terrible idea.

sagoon

@christac1010   I had this last time.  I used the Lanisoh brand disposable pads and they worked just fine.  I had reusable ones, but they were only good for a little while, then they were just wet wads of cloth that I then had to wash and dry.