How to relax? — The Bump
Pregnant after a Loss

How to relax?

What are some of the things you did early on to relax. I'm 6 weeks pregnant after a loss in May. I can't relax. I can't sleep. I cry every three seconds. 

Any good positive affirmations that helped you? Any daily meditations help? Anything? 

I know you all know this already so I'm preaching to the choir, but I'm just so scared. I'm afraid my heart will shatter if this one dies too. 
Pregnancy Ticker

Re: How to relax?

  • And I'm trying to encourage others in hopes that it helps me, but uuuggghhhhh it's not. 
    Pregnancy Ticker
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  • @Klee_NC I am so sorry your PGAL brain is causing you so much stress. If you are having trouble sleeping and you can't ever relax and are crying all the time that's a sign that it's not just garden variety anxiety - but something to see your doctor about. It could be something that just seeing a therapist could help or you might need some medicine to help you reset. You have been through a traumatic event and it's OK to need help. I started taking medicine in February and I saw a therapist weekly from January until June - and I really wish I got help sooner. 

    In in the mean time I just used distraction that took mental concentration like cross stitching (there are super cute patterns available online), crocheting, cooking a new recipe, coloring in finely detailed pictures - but all of those are putting a bandaid on a wound - they help in the short term but I needed the extra help and I am so glad I got it. 
    TW: MMC
    BFP1 12/24/14 - EDD 09/07/15 (D/C 8w1d)
    BFP2 6/12/15 - EDD 2/22/16 (D/C 10w3d)
    ———
    Diagnoses and Treatments
    PCOS (myo-inositol, excercize)
    Indeterminant levels of APS IgM antibodies (baby aspirin)
    Sub-septate uterus (hysteroscopic septoplasty 12/18/15)
    ———
    BFP3 05/02/16 EDD 01/09/17 DS born 01/05/17
    BFP4 01/28/19 EDD 10/?/19 🤞🙏

    HGRich
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  • Thank you. I think I'll go see the doc and visit hobby lobby!
    Pregnancy Ticker
  • I'm with you. I lost in June and it seems too recent to be dealing with fear of loss again. It's awful. I've not been sleeping super well so really, I've refused to let myself think about it. It's super hard to do. But I let myself drown in books and tv, knowing I can live a more productive life later. But for now I read myself to sleep. Also, if I'm almost asleep but anxiety jerks me awake again, I use Pinterest. I just browse the humor section endlessly, until I fall asleep again. But I will also say that I don't read books or watch tv that is dramatic or sad. Only humor and lighthearted stuff. I'm re-reading Harry Potter because it gives me a sense of nostalgia and childlike joy. I mean I'm on the fifth book so things are getting a little intense but I already know how it ends. :) 

    I haven't tried this yet but I'd like to try meditation to see if it helps. 
    Pregnancy TickerMarried 7/28/12
    Angel 6/7/16
    Rainbow (DD) 4/9/17
    Klee_NC
  • You sound a bit like me after my last loss. Seeing a therapist was the BEST decision I made in this journey. The one thing she said to me that changed everything was to be my own advocate against myself. She helped me to see that I was not helping myself by beating myself down. Her point was that if I wouldn't let someone else talk to me that way(telling myself it was hopeless and that I was never going to have rainbow baby, etc...) why would I not stand up for myself in my own head. She told me to audibly shut down those thoughts. When I had a negative thought about my losses she instructed me to tell myself OUT LOUD the same thing I would say to someone else if they said it to me. For example, if I was telling myself that I would lose this one too that I should tell myself something reassuring like "no, I have a 70% chance of success. I will have my rainbow baby someday." I think this helped me more than anything because it struck me as so strange that my therapist would tell me to talk to myself and because it really helped me to change my own thinking from negativity to optimism without a huge amount of effort. It was so simple and didn't require any special tools or anything. I could do it anywhere and any time I needed to. 
    amwangelHGRichKlee_NC
  • edited October 2016
    I am feeling the exact same way and have been since the start. I am currently 12+3 and still struggling with PGAL. I hope you have found some ways to help you relax and enjoy your pregnancy. You are not alone in this! I always feel a better for a little while after appointments, but they are still 6 weeks apart at this point, and my mind starts to worry. I keep hoping that once I can feel the baby moving that things will get better. Time will tell! 
  • Sorry for your losses, Wifey and I went through quite a few and the hurt never lessens. We are now at 25wks and the thought still never leaves my head. One piece of advice I can offer is no matter how hard it is try to think positive thoughts, prayer has helped me and just go with the flow. 

    Thinking positive thoughts for you!

    John
    Pregnancy Ticker
    1inthehopper
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