Finding us friendless

LoveLee85

 I have lots of friends that don't have kids yet....and like I was told, they dropped me the second I had mine. My DH works a lot and that's an understatement. 72+ hour weeks are normal in this house on rotating shifts. So he's never around. I have 2 friends that have older kids, but they are so busy with kid sports and other stuff. I find my LO and I just sitting at home hanging out. Which is fine except sometimes I would be nice to socialize. The only thing I can find is a one 45 min a week sing along at a library. That's it! Lol. Is this normal? Everyone seems to have no kids, or kids that are older and so busy with every sport under the sun. I feel like we have been hiding in this house for a year now! No fun. Winter is fast approaching and I already have cabin fever just thinking about it. I'm not on social media, other than this. I take him to the park, but it's just us. I take him on walks, but it's just us. So we do get out but I'm craving adult interactions and would love for him to see others LO's. Just feel like we are in this awkward middle stage. 

mrsmctaggart6

I have friends with similarly aged kids that I still never see because we seem to always be on opposite nap schedules, lol... That being said while I miss DH during the day, I'm a fairly solitary person anyways so I just don't mind the one on one with baby... Honestly having people want me to do stuff usually just annoys me and I'd rather just go with the flow... I know my neighbor is part of a local Facebook group for new moms and they do get together soon, maybe you could try that? Not for me bet she seems to enjoy it...

LoveLee85

mrsmctaggart6 said:

I have friends with similarly aged kids that I still never see because we seem to always be on opposite nap schedules, lol... That being said while I miss DH during the day, I'm a fairly solitary person anyways so I just don't mind the one on one with baby... Honestly having people want me to do stuff usually just annoys me and I'd rather just go with the flow... I know my neighbor is part of a local Facebook group for new moms and they do get together soon, maybe you could try that? Not for me bet she seems to enjoy it...

The only issue is I'm not on any other format of social media than this app. Not Facebook, Twitter or anything. Lol 

I love just chilling at home also, but that's all we do. Once in a while going with friends would be nice. 

mrsmctaggart6

Ya I hear ya, I only have a fb to keep an eye on what my mother puts up, I've actually never posted anything myself and I check once every couple of months to keep her honest, you could just try using it as a meet up rather than checking it constantly on your phone like the rest of the world... Or you could try volunteering somewhere fun that would let you take little one with you? Wish you were close I'd hang out with you

vibarra27

Its not all that having kids the same age lol. I have a friend i went to high school with. My Best friend actually and the boys are 6 weeks older than her daughter. Like @mrsmctaggart6 we have oposite nap schedules. Her 4 yr old just started ECE @ the school DD goes to. But before when he was in headstart they went to different schools & started & ended @ different times so it was rare when we could actually hang out. Now that our oldest are in the same school the naps for our LOs dont match up. Not only that, ive noticed that shes concerned about everything theym boys do. If they walk or have teeth or stand, if they know how to clap etc. Like she wants to compete kinda.. I personally would rather spend time alone with my kids @ home lol...but then again i do have the option of seeing friends and hubby works so 40-55hours a week so im not completely alone.. so i cant speak from that point of view. But i promise you're not missing out on much. Its much better when theyre older.

anamvicc

Look up to see you if you have the MOMS Club in your area? That is an international club that is for moms to support other moms. I joined the one in my are back in January and truly I am so thankful for it! Adult conversation once a week makes all the difference in many things! 

CaboBride2015

I would definitely recommend fb or meetup.com... look for mom's groups, there are tons out there!

kfry22

I have the same problem. I work full time and my husband is self employed so he works even more than I do. I do not have any friends and the only people I every do anything with are my husband or my Mom. I would love someone my age with a child of similar ages to do stuff with. I feel awkward joining a mom group on Facebook to meet people because that just seems so forced and fake to me.

ElleMF728

It's totally normal to feel a bit isolated when you are staying home and having babies is the toughest time because there isn't a ton to do with them.  Its only been in the past year or so that I have been able to make some mom friends and that is largely because we moved in next store to great people who have two boys in our age range.  

However, I've made it a point to be more talkative and friendly when I'm out and about.  TBH its really not my nature, I'm more comfortable as an introvert but it has been helpful and becomes easier as I go along.  I've made an effort to reconnect with people I've lost tough with who have kids my age.  It's important to remember we are all in the same boat a lot of times, lonely and just desperate for some adult conversation.  Don't feel shy about approaching a mom with a baby in Target, she is probably feeling just as alone and in need of companionship as you are! I've made a few friends just from walking around the neighborhood.  My parents have friends who are having grandkids now and they have sort of "set up" a few of us with each other.  

In terms of meeting people I personally find it to be most effective during the day, during working hours.  Obviously not because I don't want friends who are working moms, only because stay at home moms are home and available during the hours that I am most isolated.  Even the working moms you will meet during these times may have schedules that are a bit more flexible or working part time and able to meet once a week for a play date. 

You're past the really tough stage now though.  Once they get to be about this age you can throw the kids in a safe play area and sit down for a chat with another adult  

bbdogs3

I hear ya and I don't do social media either. I signed is up for swimming lessons and that has been great.  It's a mommy n me once a week but we also get to socialize during...

JessicaS0914

Where do you live?  Do you have a mall?  YMCA? MOPS group? Music classes? Kid gyms?

AmandaNacora

I know exactly how you feel, my DH works 72+ hours also, 7 days a week so I'm so lonely... My one friend who has kids lives 3 hours away so we don't get to see each other much. I think it's a normal part of becoming a mother, friends without children slowly leave but eventually you'll find new friends to replace them. Enrolling LO in classes can help you meet other moms. I have an excuse almost every day to visit a store because I need some adult conversation haha. 

AmandaNacora

I've also enrolled in college again to keep myself busy, taking online courses until LO is 2 and can go to the child care center there. Even though I'm not actually talking to anyone it helps.