unsolicited remarks about my parenting — The Bump
January 2016 Moms

unsolicited remarks about my parenting

Rant time: we are good friends with our neighbors and my husband and myself plus our daughter were over there the other night and I don't even know what brought it up but her husband said I know your 24/7 over there holding her (my daughter) he said I don't even live there and I know for a fact you are always picking your baby up when she cries. I was livid first off I don't and if I did its none of his concern I will do as I please and raise my daughter as I want. They have a completely different approach to parenting and frankly I've heard their stories from when their daughters were babies and I don't agree at all. They've told us how one daughter fell off the dryer when she was a baby because they walked away from her and said she cried for months anytime they tried to change her. The older one was in a vibrating seat on the kitchen table and it vibrated right off the table onto the kitchen floor with her in it. Theyve told us to let our daughter burn herself on our baseboard heaters this winter so she knows not to do it again definitely not any approach I want to take. Then my mother in law just stopped down about 20 mins ago she only stops down out of the blue every now and then and she lives like 5 houses down and she never stays longer than 10 mins literally not even kidding. Our daughter will start crying because she doesnt know her grandma and is afraid and not comfortable so she will say grandmas gonna go cause you won't stop crying anyhow I let her watch her for a few mins while i got in the shower and my daughter cried the whole time well she said I'm gonna a be in big trouble because she won't ever want to be away from me(stay at home mom) it's not that at all its because she doesn't even know you and she says this all the time. I'm so tired of people commenting telling me I'm not doing right I know how to raise my daughter I do a hell of a good job my husband tells me all the time that I'm such an amazing mom he's never seen anyone do so great with a baby etc. Sorry kinda scrambled baby is getting into things such  back and forth with her lol

Re: unsolicited remarks about my parenting

  • For your neighbors, they sound like a bunch of nut jobs. Let her touch the base board heating so she knows not to touch it? What kind of advice is that? I would tell them to take their advice and shove it where the sun don't shine. Their parenting style sounds careless and abusive to me. For your mother in law, they always have something to say lol babies go through different stages, I'm sure this clingy stage will pass and your mother in law could spend more enjoyable time with her granddaughter. Your husband is right, your doing a fantastic job as a mother. Don't let anyone tell you any different. 
    fishee333ctmamaoftwomesamyt
  • You're doing a great job! I'm sorry but if my baby cries I comfort her. Your neighbors sound like idiots. Keep up the good job!! Everyone parents differently. Do what YOU want to do. As for the MIL, they all have opinions. Usually old school ones ha. Keep your head up and continue being a great mom!
  • edited September 2016
    My son did the same thing for a while with my MIL. She never blamed me, but I felt bad cause she kept saying he didn't like her. And she was trying, too! We'd go over there and I'd let her hold him, and he'd just cry. She'd try to feed him, and he wouldn't eat. I felt terrible, but I just kept saying he's going thru a fussy phase. And I was right! He spent the day with my ILs last week and he was fine the whole time :) 
    As for the neighbors, they can get over it. It's not their kid, you're the parent not them! So what if you hold your baby? That's what you're supposed to do! That's how they learn that Mommy and Daddy keep them safe. They sound negligent and ignorant to me.... Hopefully the situation resolves itself and you won't have any more issues! 
  • If someone allows their baby to touch the baseboard heating element, their opinion is invalid.
    nackie
  • I came up with the perfect line for these situations. "Thank you for your input." (With a small, sweet, sassy smile) It's the polite way of saying F off :)
    cali1710
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