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January 2016 Moms
KFrob
member
Working mom rant
KFrob
member
I'm need to vent. And this is probably a bit all over the place. I work full time and have a 45 min commute to and from work. I also have a husband who works a full time and part time job so that we can afford daycare costs/medical bills/try to buy a house. I feel like I get no time with my husband or LO. My husband helps out as much as he can but I feel obligated to take care of all of the house work and take on as much as I can since he gets little sleep. I literally haven't taken a minute to myself since LO was born. The final straw to start my break down was my employer telling me that I can no longer take my 30 min lunch since I use the nursing mothers room ((which is fine, I get other people don't have random breaks), but that means no more 20 mins of running on my lunch break. That 20 mins was my saving grace and what cleared my mind. Over the last few weeks its become clear that I need a break. So I have been trying to figure out how to decompress and not miss out on time with LO. I started to look for mommy and me yoga and fitness classes. My area offers plenty. My issue is that they are ALL week day mornings. Apparently unless you're a stay at home mom you can't participate in a healthy activity and spend time with your baby. I was shocked at how hard this is. Anyone have any suggestions? Any activity ideas that maybe I'm not thinking about?
Re: Working mom rant
What asshats! I swear I cant stand employers! Was your lunch break unpaid? Were you still getting your work done despite your pumping breaks? Were they bleeding money becauseyou were taking a few extra breaks to pump?? I highly doubt it! I hate how some companies try to dehumanize their employees. My work is the same way. My boss bitches about people who take FMLA (for maternity, for medical reasons, totake care of family). A coworker used FMLA to care for her dying mother, and my boss texted her on the day her mother died, to let her know her fmla time was up. but I digress.......
Are you able to leave 30 minutes earlier now since you cant take your lunch break? If so, can you workout then? I know how you feel, Iwork full time night shift M-F and have a 45 min commute each way as well. My dh works full time too and we see each other in passing only. I care for LO during the day and sleep in the afternoon/evening. I dont have any suggestions for workouts though. Could you use a jogging stroller and jog with LO when you get home? Or do a baby and me type yoga video at home? That way you are exercising and spending time with your LO.
And you're right. It feels like EVERYTHING is scheduled during the day, or if it's not, it fills up in about -5 seconds. I did find a great supportive babywearing group locally, and members just post on our FB group when they're doing something. (We're going on a Poke-walk, if anyone wants to join us, We're meeting to play in the fountain, we'll be here till ...) Have you looked into that? Wearing is a great way to get things done while still loving and cuddling on your baby.
I haven't found the balance, but on weekends--that is OUR time. I'm letting the housework go longer than I would regularly prefer, and letting the grass grow. She'll only be this age once, and housework will be there when she gets older.
@loveymay My lunch is unpaid time. They told me I need use my lunch, pto or make up the time. I already cut my lunch from an hour to 30 mins to leave earlier and get to daycare on time
I second a jogging stroller! I bought one last year when I was an running a lot more before I got pregnant. I've used it the last 3 weeks with LO and she loves it.
I guess I don't have much advice other than to commiserate but the only thing that's helping me right now is I have a cleaning lady come every other week that way on the weekends I can completely focus on LO and feel less guilty about how the house looks. It doesn't help with the daily dishes or other similar things but it saves me from deep cleaning the kitchen and cleaning toilets on the weekend for hours. I know it's not in everyone's budget but I always say it's the best $150 I spend every month so maybe it's worth looking into, even if it's only once a month.
I work from home so my situation is much easier but I also have an hours requirement so I work 9-5, do chores/cook dinner, put baby to bed and then work another 3 hours. I haven't been to the gym since baby was born and for the past 30 years working out has been such an important part of my life. So I feel your pain.
I am hoping to make it to a year BF but because pumping hasn't worked for me, I always have to be near baby which is very restricting. The days I feel like I'm at my breaking point I think about giving up breastfeeding. I'm not sure if that crosses your mind as well..... It's a tough situation... I just keep saying to myself only 4 more months. Also when baby starts STTN I'm hoping I will have the energy to get to the gym in the morning.
Hang in there!
To the OP, does LO take an afternoon/evening nap when you get home from work? That's when I get my workouts in. If I try to wait until she is asleep for the night, I'm too tired. So...I workout during her one hour late afternoon nap. It has done wonders for my psyche (and for helping me lose all of the baby weight). I don't know if that's an option, but it's what I do to maintain my sanity!
Luckily my my company has been very supportive and nurturing with pumping. They put frosted glass on my office window so I can hands free pump in there.
But, to your predicament, I'm sorry but companies are going to have to change and become more flexible if they want to keep good talent. I think you should talk to Hr and if you are a high performer, thy should be receptive. I know my company has started a workplace flexibility team of which I'm a part of to try to remain competitive. I would go to Hr with some bullet points as to why having that break during the day increases your overall productivity & health and that you are willing to makeup the 30 min after work when you get him (after baby goes to sleep). It's ridic that in this day and age, non hourly employees who don't bill time are having to clock-watch. It should be about whether or not you get your work done, not whether you were in your desk for xx amt of time. Sorry for the rant, but that ticks me off. As if those 30 min make or break anything. Hope you can go talk to HR and get a good resolution. If not, I would consider looking around. There are plenty of companies willing to work with and respect working mothers.