PGAL Check In 8/29

Spartanrd4

This is for all our March moms who have experienced a loss- we are here to support one another! 

1. How far along are you?

2. Next milestone you're looking forward to?

3. Rant/Rave/Positive Vibes:

4. GTKY: If you could meet one person, living or dead who would it be and why? 

Spartanrd4

1. How far along are you? 12 weeks 6 days (or 13 weeks 3 days per my last scan) 

2. Next milestone you're looking forward to? Hearing the heart beat on the doppler, hopefully next week at my OB appointment. I've only seen the heart beat during my ultrasounds but haven't actually heard it yet. As of last week my uterus is still tipped back so who knows if it will be possible. 

3. Rant/Rave/Positive Vibes: Waiting on my NIPT test results and hopefully will learn the sex before the holiday weekend so we can do a little reveal at my parent's house. I've actually been surprisingly calm since my NT scan and have been starting to tell more people slowly. I'm most nervous to tell my boss for some reason because even though I know she will be happy for me, the timing isn't great for next year and I'm sure she will be stressed trying to find coverage for me when I am on maternity leave. 

4. GTKY: If you could meet one person, living or dead who would it be and why? Living: Kit Harington from Game of Thrones or Dave Matthews because they are my favorite singer/actors right now. Dead: Franklin D Roosevelt- I am a big history nerd and I consider him one of the greatest presidents we have ever had. I wonder what he would think of our current political environment? 

liepertsm

1. How far along are you? 13w2d

2. Next milestone you're looking forward to? Finding out the gender! 

3. Rant/Rave/Positive Vibes: I think I say this a lot, but four weeks between appointments is so difficult for my PGAL brain! I just need reassurance. 

4. GTKY: If you could meet one person, living or dead who would it be and why? Lucille Ball. I think she was so funny and talented, and I would have loved to have met her. 

JustAnotherUsername16

@Spartanrd4 FX that you get to hear that heartbeat! Also, my doctor was able to switch to sound during my ultrasound so that we could actually hear the HB through the U/S. Perhaps if your uterus prevents the doppler from picking up the HB, you could request that?
@liepertsm Agreed about the 4 weeks bullshit. I feel like PGALs should get extra appointments for anxiety purposes lol. 

1. How far along are you? 11w3d

2. Next milestone you're looking forward to? I just want to be safely into 2nd Tri...

3. Rant/Rave/Positive Vibes: So I have my 12 week appointment in a week and no one has talked to be about an NT scan. Should that have been offered to me, or do I need to request it? I know the window is pretty small, and I don't want to miss it...

4. GTKY: If you could meet one person, living or dead who would it be and why? I'm gonna be "that" person and say that if someone truly offered me this as an option, I would use it to talk with my grandfather again. He raised me and passed very suddenly when I was a senior in HS. It was devastating and I miss him every single day. I would give almost anything for some more time with him...

Spartanrd4

@DaniBanani16 I requested the NT scan- for me I needed a referral from the OB for a genetics appointment. I guess unless you are over 35 and "at risk" genetic screening isn't automatically offered or recommended to you. I would call your doctor and see what you can do because like you said the window is very small to be able to do it. 

jmacd22

@DaniBanani16 the NT scan was offered to me. I did have to go to a different hospital to get it done than the one I have my regular appointments at so I do think you need a referral for it. You might want to ask if they haven't said anything about it yet. I think it has to be done before 13 weeks so I would call asap. 

Wishilivedinflorida

@DaniBanani16 I could only make my NT appointment between the start of weeks 11 through the end of week 12. I'm shocked this isn't offered to everyone. My OB offers it to all moms at their first prenatal intake appointment. 

@liepertsm Also wish I could have more frequent appointments. Having a home Doppler has helped, but it's not the same! 

1. How far along are you?
11w1d

2. Next milestone you're looking forward to?
NT scan Thursday

3. Rant/Rave/Positive Vibes:
Having horrendous neck pain. I had a long migraine last week that really hampered my presence on TB. I'll gladly go through hell for a healthy baby, but dang this process is painful!

4. GTKY: If you could meet one person, living or dead who would it be and why? That's a really tough one. I guess I would say Einstein, so he can explain his theories in simple terms, and we could talk about modern physics theories together. (I don't work in physics, just a lay interest of mine!)

dubcompanion

1. How far along are you? 12w1d

2. Next milestone you're looking forward to? NT scan this Thursday like @Wishilivedinflorida!

3. Rant/Rave/Positive Vibes: Just anxious for the appt!

4. GTKY: If you could meet one person, living or dead who would it be and why? I'd choose to talk to my biological mom. 

JustAnotherUsername16

Thanks @Spartanrd4 @mcdonald-bailey and @Wishilivedinflorida that was very helpful information. I called and talked to my doctor and they said they'd schedule me for one if I want one, but they usually only offer them to women of AMA (35+). She said if I wanted one to do some research with my insurance because they often don't cover it if I am not otherwise considered at high risk for down's. 

jenny0228

1. How far along are you?
9w6d

2. Next milestone you're looking forward to?
I have my next ultrasound on Wednesday, it's my first appt with a regular OB after graduating from my RE at the IVF specialty office. I just want to see the heartbeat again. Annoyingly - I have to wait until Sept 9 to speak to a doctor about my ultrasound!! So I will only see the tech on Wednesday. 

3. Rant/Rave/Positive Vibes:
I'm thinking I should call and schedule my NT scan though - because by the time I see the doctor I will almost be 12 weeks. Surprised they didn't say that when I scheduled the other appts. I did do PGS genetic testing with IVF so they tested the embryo they transferred to me for most chromosomal abnormalities but they suggest doing all the tests anyway. 

4. GTKY: If you could meet one person, living or dead who would it be and why? 
This is a tough one! I think either Amelia Earhart or someone from an age I can barely imagine like Joan of Arc. 

Wishilivedinflorida

@DaniBanani16 That really bothers me, because the majority of babies with Down syndrome are born to moms under 35. In fact, that's one of the reasons my OB offers it to everyone. Yes, the risk does increase if you are AMA, but most women having babies are not AMA, so you exclude these women from testing and potentially miss many opportunities to catch it early and start workup? Kills me. Hope your insurance covers it. 

dubcompanion

@danibanana16 That really bothers me too! Just yesterday, I was reading about the prevalence of Downs, and I read a research article explaining the breakdown. It's simply the sheer fact that there are more women TTC under 35 (because you have everyone from 15-35, so like a 20-year span) compared to those aged 35-menopause. And while the risk of Downs is greater in >35, the study isn't accounting for other possible chromosomal disorders that could result in lieu of Downs - if that makes sense. So yeah. In sum, I think prenatal screening for Downs, even if you're under 35, is extremely beneficial. I was offered it, and I am 30. 

sarahbobby

1. How far along are you? 10 weeks 5 days

2. Next milestone you're looking forward to? My appointment with high-risk on Thursdays at 11 weeks 1 day.

3. Rant/Rave/Positive Vibes: Been feeling strangely calm lately. I'm planning on telling my boss this Thursday. It's a little earlier than I would like to tell him but this will be my third doctor's appointment and I will have many more since I'm high risk.

4. GTKY: If you could meet one person, living or dead who would it be and why? Probably a president. I think it would just be cool to meet someone that is going to forever be a part of American history.

BelcherEars

@Spartanrd4 Good luck at your appointment next week! Hopefully you will get to hear that little HB.

@liepertsm Love your GTKY pick! I watch reruns of I Love Lucy all the time. She was great! Also, Could you get a home Doppler? I use it 2 or so times a week to keep myself sane in between visits. Was relatively inexpensive -$35 online.

@DaniBanani16 No one has talked with me about a NT scan either. My OBGYN’s office told me they offer tests (like the NIPT) to every expecting mother, but based on my information, they didn’t really feel I needed it. So I guess that is why they didn’t offer me the scan… not sure. And I opted out of other tests because I didn’t want to pay out of pocket.

@Wishilivedinflorida Sorry you have been having migraines and neck pain. That sounds awful. Hope the neck pain goes away soon! Also, good luck at your NT appointment this week!

@dubcompanion Good luck at your appointment Thursday!

@jenny02228 Good luck at your ultrasound appointment Wednesday!

@sarahbobby Good luck this Thursday at your appointment!

 

1. How far along are you? 11 weeks 5 days

2. Next milestone you're looking forward to? Appointment on Sept 6th

3. Rant/Rave/Positive Vibes: Feeling pretty positive today. I will be going to the beach for a long weekend (Thursday through Sunday). I’m excited! Going to do some outlet shopping and hit the motherhood maternity outlet store and other various baby outlet stores. Should be fun.

4. GTKY: If you could meet one person, living or dead who would it be and why?  Hmmm this is a tough one because there are many people I could learn from or just enjoy their company. I think I would like to meet Louis Zamperini. I read about his life in "Unbroken".Very inspiring. 

JustAnotherUsername16

BelcherEars said:

4. GTKY: If you could meet one person, living or dead who would it be and why?  Hmmm this is a tough one because there are many people I could learn from or just enjoy their company. I think I would like to meet Louis Zamperini. I read about his life in "Unbroken".Very inspiring. 

What an epically great answer! I absolutely loved that book. #AllTheFeels

Wishilivedinflorida

@BelcherEars I hit up a Motherhood outlet a couple weeks ago and scored some good stuff! I can't bring myself to buy any baby stuff yet, but maybe after a good NT I can relax a little. Enjoy your long beach weekend! 

liepertsm

@BelcherEars Me too...that was such a great show! I have thought about getting a home doppler, but I'm worried that I would either not be able to figure it out and thus freak myself out even more, or overuse it and drive myself crazy. 

ElleB11

1. How far along are you? 11w2d

2. Next milestone you're looking forward to? The anatomy scan

3. Rant/Rave/Positive Vibes: I had an appointment this morning and I'm just so excited to still be here. The midwife tried to find the heartbeat with the Doppler first but knowing I was anxious she gave up quickly and did a quick ultrasound. Now that I've past when our loss was, I feel like I can start looking forward to a baby! We're also going to start telling close family and friends. The only bad thing of the day: I have a UTI:(

4. GTKY: If you could meet one person, living or dead who would it be and why? This doesnt quite answer the question but, my dad passed away a few years ago before DS was born so I wish he could meet DS (and the new baby soon.)

Wishilivedinflorida

@ElleB11 Sorry about the UTI. They are the worst! Yay for a quick US! It's so nice when our providers are so accommodating to help us with PGAL brain. I'm sorry to hear about the passing of your dad. 

vino831

1. How far along are you?

13.1

2. Next milestone you're looking forward to?

Won't see lo until October. Any appointment that doesn't have an us feels like a wastellar of time lol. Blood pressure, pee in a cup, weight bye. Especially with an 11 mo..bleh

3. Rant/Rave/Positive Vibes:

I couldn't figure out what to write but I'm kinda in the same boat as @sarahbobby. Cautiously calm. NT scan went well, no appts for a while. Kinda feel like I'm in a phase of accepting.

4. GTKY: If you could meet one person, living or dead who would it be and why? 
Man idk.. Angelina Jolie? I'd like to learn from someone who has lived a wildly diverse life if that makes sense. From a wild past to travel and philanthropy. She seems interesting.

ElleB11

@Wishilivedinflorida Thanks! My midwife really is wonderful. I had her with my loss this spring and she was so sympathetic. She came to my D&C even though she wasn't performing the surgery and she's said this time that I can come in anytime I need reassurance. As for the UTI, surprisingly I don't feel any pain. I just have to deal with more pills:)

BaylieGirl

. How far along are you? 10+4

2. Next milestone you're looking forward to? Gave over 10 vials of blood this am. Looking forward to a positive meeting with the genetic counselor and NT scan next Wednesday. I'm in California and the one form said California Mandate Generic Carrier Screen. I wonder if this is something that is mandated to be covered by our state. That would be nice.

3. Rant/Rave/Positive Vibes: Found baby's heartbeat on the Doppler this weekend. Yay! It's taking all my will power to wait a few days before checking again. Wish it was a safe as my POAS addiction.

Husband's being so sweet and making me a healthy dinner of chicken and rice with a mushroom sauce and the smell makes me want to puke soooo bad! Trying my best to put on a happy face and eat it bc he's being so sweet.

4. GTKY: If you could meet one person, living or dead who would it be and why? My pregnancy brain won't let me think of anyone.... Maybe Anthony Bordain, I'd love to go to dinner with him somewhere exotic and delicious... Once my appetite comes back. I miss food

liepertsm

@BaylieGirl I felt the same way a few times when my husband cooked for me. Actually, grilled chicken was what made me want to puke too. I felt so bad because he loves to grill and it was really nice of him to fix dinner, but I just couldn't handle it.

JustAnotherUsername16

@liepertsm and @BaylieGirl I am also on the chicken aversion train. Usually chicken is a staple of my diet, but now I can't look at it or smell it without throwing up  

BelcherEars

@Wishilivedinflorida Thanks!

@liepertsm My husband was worried I would have that problem when I told him I was ordering one. I couldn't find the HB the first time I tried and the next few times it was hit or miss, but once you've located it a few times, you figure out where the LO hangs out and now I can usually find it in a matter of a few minutes. I will say that I told myself I could not freak out the first few times because I was learning how to use it. But if I hadn't been able to follow through on that, I'm sure my DH would have taken the device and hidden it from me lol. 

dubcompanion

So I signed on to Facebook this morning, and my cousin's daughter, who is 22 and got married over the summer, is expecting twins. She's due in April and is 8 weeks pregnant. Her mom (my cousin) is the one who announced. 

I'm having a loss mom reaction and not really sure how to process this morning. Am I being weird for feeling weird? I feel weird about a lot of it right now, with none of the thoughts making me feel like a good person. 

Spartanrd4

@dubcompanion its okay to feel weird- even being PGAL doesn't mean that you can't have a reaction to something like that, its totally natural and you are still a good person. 

sarahbobby

@dupcompanion I've had some really strange reactions to others' pregnancy announcements. A few girls on my Facebook have announced for February and March and whenever I saw their announcements I thought 'well theirs will probably make it but mine won't.' That doesn't even make any sense! But after having two losses and seeing my friends go on to have their 2nd and 3rd I guess it's my 'normal' reaction.

dubcompanion

Thanks @Spartanrd4. DH thinks it's too early to announce, and while I *kind of* agree, I also believe that people absolutely have the right to announce whenever they want. As we all know, one could announce at the "appropriate" time of second tri and still have things go wrong.  It might also be that "thunder stolen" moment but that'll definitely pass, because I know that's just the initial selfish phase that the ego goes through. I'd much rather have joyous occasions occurring in my family rather than sad things. 

My mom considers my second cousin to be like a granddaughter to her, so I might also be seeing this as though it were a niece/nephew of mine who is pregnant (and that is a possible thing). I know she's beyond psyched to be a grandmother for the first time to her youngest daughter, but I'm feeling a little jealous that I have to share her excitement at being a great aunt for the first time.

Also, a 22-year-old getting KU 1 month after getting married. With healthy twins.

See, I'm a bad person.

dubcompanion

@sarahbobby That's already floated in my head too: that she'll be a mother of twins in April (or March if they come early) and I'll be a loss mom for the second time by then. Man, PgAL brain really messes with us.

jenny0228

@dubcompanion You're not weird. I've had a few work colleagues announce since I've known I was pregnant. I'm not planning to announce until much later (maybe around 16 weeks). I feel bad, but I always envy how nice it must be for them to just be happy and not have the weight of the worry that I have underlying my happiness. And when I see people announce so early I start to worry FOR them that something could go wrong... I feel absolutely terrible about it but I think it's "normal" to have those thoughts considering what we've gone through. 

JustAnotherUsername16

Absolutely NOT a bad person. I promise you that I have had terrible thoughts when I see pregnancy announcements at times too - and I'm willing to bet we aren't alone on that in this thread either. It's nearly impossible to see something like that and NOT take it personally. And this is the perfect place to share those feelings without judgement. 

dubcompanion

@jenny0228 Admittedly, when I was not TTC, I didn't put much thought into how early people were announcing, but this might be the earliest announcement I've seen. You're right; I'm also worried now for her that something could wrong - especially with a twin pregnancy. 

@DaniBanani16 Thanks for your kind words! I think the terrible thoughts vary too depending on who it is. If this were a college acquaintance, I'd probably have been like, "A) That's early B ) I hope things go okay for her because if they don't, it'll be triggering for me to see her un-announce! and C) I wish I had gotten KU that easily. I'm still feeling all 3 above, but her being my second cousin means even more feelings to process.

Edited because there was a sunglasses emoji... 

marshmallowfarts

1. How far along are you? 12.5 

2. Next milestone you're looking forward to? NT scan this week and gender soon!

3. Rant/Rave/Positive Vibes: Sciatica pain is in high gear after working 36 hours in three days. Also I want a slushy maker or a blender that is capable of handling ice that isn't $600. It's been a struggle to find anything this week. 

4. GTKY: If you could meet one person, living or dead who would it be and why? Like @DaniBanani16 I'd pick my grandfather. I had a really rough childhood and he was the only one who I felt unconditional love from. He died when I was 8 from cancer. Ironically March was his birthday month and the month he passed. My grandmother passed 11 years after him, but she was buried on his birthday. I know he'd be so happy to have another baby in the family. 

marshmallowfarts

@dubcompanion I think it's a little weird that she didn't announce it herself? Maybe she didn't want it announced yet and just told close family only for them to spill the beans? But like you said - I would feel weird about it too. Almost superstitious about pregnancy. I worry if I sneeze the wrong number of times bad juju will happen. Weird. 

dubcompanion

@marshmallowfarts I really like your SN, lol. 

Yes, the announcement is weird, but her mom boasts about her kids on FB all the time (She actually borders on AW but I'm trying to be nice since it's family, and they've always been nice to me.) The daughter is very likely used to it and just let her... I haven't bothered to read the comments yet. Maybe someone will ask about the manner of announcement. 


ETA: Just read what I wrote and want to reiterate that it is still weird, and I would not be cool with a mom like that, TBH. But I think my second cousin is because she's easy-going and her mom has a strong personality.

jenny0228

I went for my dating ultrasound today they dated me a couple days ahead of where I thought I was, so 10+3. I have to wait until next Friday to talk to the dr about the official results but the tech was SO nice and she told me the heartrate was strong and I saw my little moving all around and moving arms and legs! After many losses and a rough ride through IVF, I am SO happy but SO scared! I want to believe its all ok and I want to tell my mom, but as of now, she has no idea about my losses or IVF, and thinks we just don't want to have kids. We didn't want them for many years until we changed our minds. My losses happened during other close family's pregnancy reveals as well as the death of my grandmother so I didn't want to burden her with them. Then I was so sure IVF would fail, so I still never said anything because I didn't want to get her hopes up. My mom doesn't live close to me either, and is a worrier. Now, I want to tell her, it seems safe but I'm just so nervous. My husband has a hard time understanding why I would wait, he told his parents about the losses and IVF and everything. I want to call her now and tell her but EEEK! Anyone else have a hard time with the reveal? 

Spartanrd4

I had a hard time revealing....only my mom knew at first- then she let it slip to my step dad. Then I told my one best friend at 8ish weeks and since we had our 12 week ultrasound and everything looked good we are slowly letting more people know- friends, inlaws, co-workers. We aren't going FB official probably until I'm like 18 weeks or so. It felt weird to tell because I never got that far last time to tell many people but I am determined to be positive and celebrate this baby and not feel like I am jinxing myself by being happy and excited. 

dubcompanion

@jenny0228 Yay for a great dating ultrasound! Our parent already know, but I'm anxious about telling family and friends in the coming month (following a good NT scan). It's just going to feel so real all of a sudden, which is exciting and terrifying all at once!

sarahbobby

Had a great appointment yesterday! Got to hear the heartbeat on the Doppler! It took a while and the doctor asked me which side is the baby on.... LOL... It's on the left! Heart was beating away at 172! I also told my boss yesterday and he was really happy for me especially after knowing that I've had two losses in the past two years. Also my blood pressure has dropped 20 points since my first visit! Woohoo! All around it was a great day!

Spartanrd4

That's awesome @sarahbobby I'm glad you had a great day!