When can you start to relax? — The Bump
Pregnant after a Loss

When can you start to relax?

Hi all, 

I am pregnant after 2 miscarriages. One before my daughter was born and one in April 2016. I only had one period after my misscarriage. At my first Dr.s appointment I expected to be 7 weeks from my LMP but ended up being 6 weeks 2 days and there was a heartbeat. Went in again today ( a week later) and the baby measured 7 weeks and heartbeat increased even more. All if good from my doctor's perspective but I still can't stop worry. Any tips on how to reassure one's self? I struggle because at this point I will not have another ultrasound until 20 weeks and with my previous pregnancy we didn't hear the HB with the doppler until 16 weeks.

Re: When can you start to relax?

  • Hi, I think different people are able to relax at different times. I was about 14 weeks before I started feeling ok about this pregnancy. I'm 20 weeks now and I'm feeling pretty hopeful this will be my rainbow baby, but there are some ladies here that won't feel they can relax until baby is in their arms - there's no right or wrong way to feel when you are PGAL. Fx for you and your bean.
    TW: MMC
    BFP1 12/24/14 - EDD 09/07/15 (D/C 8w1d)
    BFP2 6/12/15 - EDD 2/22/16 (D/C 10w3d)
    Diagnoses and Treatments
    PCOS (myo-inositol, excercize)
    Indeterminant levels of APS IgM antibodies (baby aspirin)
    Sub-septate uterus (hysteroscopic septoplasty 12/18/15)
    BFP3 05/02/16 EDD 01/09/17 DS born 01/05/17
    BFP4 01/28/19 EDD 10/?/19 🤞🙏

  • A home Doppler helped me a lot. I never relaxed until baby was in arms though.

    DD1 born 5/24/10.

    Missed M/C at 14 wks Feb 2012.

    DD2 born 5/14/13.

    Missed M/C at 9 wks July 2015.

    Expecting someone new 4/17/17.
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  • Honestly I have more anxiety now in third tri than I did earlier, but that's because I had a loss at 31 weeks. The Doppler helped me tremendously. Then once I could feel daily movement I was able to relax a lot. But I still feel like I'll be holding my breath until I'm holding my baby. I just remind myself that today I am pregnant.


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  • Hi, I've have a 2.5 year old daughter and since her I've had two MMC's (discovered at 8w and 12w) so I understand your worry. I've been having a difficult time being happy/excited about this pregnancy. I even had a total freak out convinced the baby was gone and has my OBGYN see me for an early scan. Im not trying to be morbid here but this is how I'm trying to think about it.... From the moment we get a positive pregnancy test we worry about our babies health through out our pregnancies. Counting down and marking off all the milestones to the "safe zones". But we know those worries don't subside even after the baby is born. Once the baby is born we worry about SIDS, accidents, cancer, and all sorts of other things we worry and Google about at midnight. I know this isn't coming out right, sorry for that. I tell myself, I wouldn't let my "mothers worry" keep me from enjoying my daughter so why should I let it keep me from enjoying the hopes of this new baby? Easier said than done, but it's what I'm trying to do. I'm finding little by little, each day I feel a little more relaxed and accepting. 
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