Moms of Multiples 8.24.16

brittnic86

Just checking in ladies How's everyone doing?

We got our nursery 90% painted, which makes me feel better. And I'm realizing that really all we need is clothes, diapers, and feeding stuff. Still a little freaked that in less than 110 days we will have two baby girls! Nothing new pregnancy related to report....doing my blood glucose test at my next appointment on 5/20.

DiFazette

Doing okay.  Had my 24 week appt today and a growth scan.  Babies are measuring right on track and are both 1 1/2 pounds.  I go now every TWO weeks  . Glucose test next time, blood draw the following with TDAP and Rhogam and another growth ultrasound.  They're going to 'watch me very seriously' from this point forward due to my history of pre-e.  

I'm still a bit of a disaster emotionally.  I really thought I'd be at acceptance stage and I'm still having a hard time processing twins some days.  It mostly had to do with DS.  I think I'd be totally at peace if they were my first.  I get super overwhelmed when I think about it and wamt to be left alone.  I've really pulled back from family and friends and keep mostly all conversations at surface level because I'm afraid my emotions may come spewing out unexpectedly.  

Are the the rest of you feeling okay emotionally?  I feel like Imm the only one here overwhelmed.  Am I the only one here with a child already?  

brittnic86

@DiFazette I think you might be the only one with kid already =( I can see it both ways.....I am freaking out, but trying not to let it show...because I need DH calm and not freaking out. He said the other day that they'll be here in like three months, and how am I not freaking out. I just shrugged. I feel like if I had done this before, it might be easier...but then I hear you on the omg now suddenly there will be three. I keep hearing it gets easier? I think if we already had a kid, I'd really work the "mommy's helper" thing. Maybe try that with DS? I think a lot of kids are super excited to having little siblings.

Toller

@DiFazette  acutally you just described my feelings this entire pregnancy!! I specifically DO NOT focus on there being two- I just can't. I have a 2.5 year old, and I think "knowing what you're in for" makes it extra difficult .....  I also have trouble thinking about the end of pregnancy and how miserable it will be (made the mistake of lurking on Oct16 MoMs.....they're a really active group and have lots of support for eachother, but man it sounds tough).

Last time I announced on facebook- no interest this time. We can't figure out names. I feel bad that I feel so negative. Recently I've also been minor freaking out at 'feelings' in my stomach- "was that a contraction!?" "will I know if I go into pre-term labor!?" 

I've actually thought about how your previous pre-e experience would probably add to the anxiety of complications that happen more commonly with twins, that's a tough spot.

Toller

@brittnic86 that's so great you're so far along with getting ready!! Has to be a great feeling  I've been slowly buying diapers ahead of time so it's not such a big buy when the kids get here.

How are people feeling physically? I know I'm a few weeks behind, but I already feel SO FULL!!

I'll do a growth scan and GD testing at 28 weeks, not sure what happens after that.....my doc was super relaxed about everything at the last appointment....but not sure if I feel good or bad about that

brittnic86

@DiFazette I stand corrected, @Toller02 knows how you feel lol.

I guess I'm just like dude, seriously, first time...and twins?!

DiFazette

@brittnic86 and @Toller02 thank you.  @brittnic86 I'm sure as a FTM it would seem 'easier' but I am giving up so much with my current child to be the mother to these twins.  It's not something I can verbalize much better right now, other than my son has been the center of my universe for 3+ years, and now he will be #3 to get attention... It literally breaks my heart.  In 34 years of life I've not shed as many tears over everything COMBINED thus far than I have over this.  Thinking that DS will feel any less loved or important kills me.  I know it's terrible to say, but one would be so much easier to manage.  

@Toller02 yes.  The previous pregnancy stuff is making it extra hard.  I knew anxiety would kick up after the half way mark, but it's keeping me from feeling connected.  Imm in the mindset of 'just get through it'.  That's not where I want my heart to be.  

I also feel like everyone expects me to be jumping for joy that I'm having a super high risk pregnancy followed by actually having to take care of two babies at once, plus my toddler.  Everyone around me keeps saying how great it will be.  And I'm sure it will be, but it's easy as hell for them to say.  It's become very annoying.  

brittnic86

@Toller02 I guess we're kinda ready? lol. I mean. We have most everything....doesn't mean its all organized in any way lol. A co worker gave me a bunch of clothes, which I was excited about. But I went through it all, and there wasn't much newborn stuff. So while we have a ton of clothes for later....we still need some more clothes for now. Ugh. I wasn't going to get a changing table...but now I think I'm going to. Other than that, we just need some storage/organizer stuff. We start childbirth classes on 9/12. Maybe things will hit me harder then lol.

Edit:

My doctor is super relaxed too....I guess that just means I need to relax lol.

brittnic86

@DiFazette at least they're being supportive. We've had so many people look at us horrified, and tell us how glad they are it's not them. Because that's super helpful -_-

DiFazette

Physically I'm day to day.  I have terrible pelvic pain sometimes, and other times I feel like superwoman.  I feel like crap normally following my superwoman days, so I guess there's a lesson there  . Babies are kicking away, my belly jumps quite regularly which is funny to see this early.  Sleep is hard.  And I'm wearing out the floor on my path to the bathroom.  I didn't know a human could pee this much.

 I still have a love/hate relationship with food, and I think much of it has to do with feeling full so easily... Like, what's the point?  Babies are still laying on top of each other lengthwise, so they're really squishing my stomach and lungs (and bladder).  

Toller

@DiFazette if it makes you feel any better- I did not connect with DD (or these guys so far) at ALL during pregnancy, even when DD came out, I was like "HUH?Who are you and where did you come from!!??" but we we bonded and it worked out just fine! We had severe MFI and didnt know if kids were even possible, let alone 3! So I think I was/am "protecting" myself and I'm more okay with it this time because it turned out just fine. You do what you have to do!

I also go through phases where I feel just AWFUL for DD (Even though she loves babies and is excited for these ones). Me, her and DH are just so close... (I'm tearing up to even write this!!). It does help me though that DH comes from a family of 5 boys, and there was always plenty of love to go around. DH was the oldest and doesnt have any issues of 'not enough time with mom and dad' so... that's what I hold on to!

@brittnic86 haha! Relaxing is good... and sleeping while you can! Sorry about the difficulty with your husband's job... that sounds like extra stress you both don't need. Hopefully he can figure out some way to get through it so things can get better!!

brittnic86

@DiFazette yeah I have one that's lengthwise, all up in my lungs. I cough a lot at night, sleeping sucks. Then the other one is butt down, using baby B's feet as a pillow. So she's kicking at my bladder a lot. Seriously with the peeing! I have a lot of lower back pain, ugh. I've been feeling them kicking more and more. DH still hasn't felt them from the outside, and I think he's really upset about that lol. I was chubby to begin with, but I'm pretty sure at some point he'll be able to feel them, right?

brittnic86

@Toller02 yeah...why did I have to fall in love with a chef? lol. I have a friend who's fiance is an executive chef too, she swears us chef wives need a support group lol.

Toller

@brittnic86 haha - yes he'll be able to feel eventually!!

I also saw this on facebook and I might take advantage of it seeing how I wasn't great with keeping DD's baby book, so having 2 babies will be even harder!! You can text in your memories and it saves them... https://www.qeepsake.co/

TinaBelcher

::waves hi:: do you guys mind if I join? I'm from J17, due 1/1 with mono di girls so the latest I'll go is 12/10. We only have 2 other active MoMs on J17 and I lurk hard over here so I thought I'd branch out 

I'm 21+3 and physically feel awful (people do this more than once?!), emotionally my denial is going strong. We did IVF for these babies, they are SO wanted, but 2 is so overwhelming and I've been so sick- pregnancy is not nice to my body- that it's really tough to be sunshine and rainbows   but... max 15 weeks left, I'm sure we'll get the hang of it at some point lol... 

(also I strictly mobile bump so I'm slow to catch notifications, sorry ahead of time!) 

brittnic86

@TinaBelcher Hi Yeah most of us will probably deliver in November lol. Sorry it's been tough for you! I've been pretty lucky so far....it's just recently that I've started getting uncomfortable. Congrats on the girls, I'm having girls too!

Toller

@brittnic86  I'm due 12/30 so I'm due mid december too!

@TinaBelcher love to have you! (especially me because all the other MoMs are weeks ahead of me!)

DiFazette

@TinaBelcher welcome!  Happy to have another twin mama around!  Unless you're a total weirdo and in that case... We're uh... At capacity 

TinaBelcher

Haha thanks ladies! 

slartybartfast

Hi MoMs! Popping in to ask a quick question. My coworker is pregnant with twins. We did lunch yesterday and I can see she is freaking out about a lot of details. I know there are some twins forums out there on the interwebs... are you guys active in any of them? Are there any super helpful ones that you would recommend?

brittnic86

@slartybartfast I'm lucky enough to have a former neighbor who I kept in contact with, who has 2 year old twin girls. When I found out I was pregnant with twins, I asked her for all her wisdom lol. She added me to a private group on Facebook for moms of multiples that she really likes. So far I've mostly lurked, as my girls aren't born yet, but I've found it to be really insightful. Lots of posts seeking advice, offering advice, rants, #twinhacks, the ups and downs of having twins, and #tlt twin love Tuesday where they post pictures of their twins. Love that day.

If you want to message me, I could get her info from you and add her to the private group on Facebook.

slartybartfast

Thanks @brittnic86 - I see if that's something she's interested in She's not a big facebooker so I'm not sure...

DiFazette

@slartybartfast I joined my local chapter of Multiples of America.  It's a 'real life' support group, not just online.  I haven't attended anything yet in person, but will next time they hold their pregnant moms events or after the babies arrive.  They do twin consignment sales, moms night out, classes, family events and play dates - all locally.  I think the membership is $50/year.  

The facebook groups I'm part of feel a bit grim to me.  Lots and lots of complaining about how hard it is to be a twin mom.  Having already had a child, I think it's hard to be a mom, period.  Seems like the groups can feel like the pain olympics.  I stay because there's a valuable piece of into occasionally, but I think local chapters are the better route.  

brittnic86

@DiFazette I think the group I'm in is actually pretty positive. Of course there are times when people are looking to rant and get support. But mostly it's about how it gets easier, and the good moments....and asking for advice when they are having trouble.

DiFazette

@brittnic86 - mind sharing your group?  And the ones I'm in don't feel like that ALL the time, but it gets into a weird pissing match on who's life is harder sometimes.  Not the support I'm looking for.  

Toller

my local (but not a paid for one- so maybe there is another..) group is pretty bad too. Spouses cheating, money issues...bleh

Don't get me wrong- I love a good vent session! But more in a "this is just a phase and then it will get better!" sort of way...

Is it December yet?

brittnic86

If anyone wants to send me their email address, I'd be happy to send you all an invite to the FB group I'm in. I think it'll go to your email, not your FB. I haven't read every single post, but for the most part I've found it to be pretty positive. I see lots of posts about what's your favorite stroller or car seat? Or who's traveled on an international flight with twins? Or having trouble with nap time, or sleep training, what worked for you? Stuff like that. It's a private group, so you have to be added by someone in the group, and only the people in the group can see your posts.

Toller

@DiFazette (if you don't mind me asking!) what will your every 2 week appointments looks like moving forward? WIll you do a non stress tests/biophysical profiles or or will it be more to check your BP/protein in urine sort of a thing?

DiFazette

@Toller02 next appt is urine/BP check and glucose test. Following appt is an ultrasound, TDAP and blood draw so I get can my Rhogam shot at 30 weeks.  They will do an U/S every 4 weeks unless (until) BP rises or proteins are present.  If that happens I'll need to start doing appts with MFM every other week and OB every other week.  

I don't understand why why they have to take my blood before giving me a Rhogam shot.  My blood type is A-.  Been that way for 34 years.  I've not had a Rhogam injection since delivery of my son, and they've tested my blood twice already this pregnancy for the antibodies.  I need the Rhogam shot - I don't know why wont just give it to me and are making me do an additional test and trip.  

brittnic86

Have you guys lurked on the multiples boards? I just looked for the first time today...there's a lady have quads...I couldn't even imagine.....

Edit: afterthought

I'm starting to have this fear that they will end up identical...I watched Parent trap last night haha. But seriously though...I feel like I would lose my mind if they're identical. When I first found out I was pregnant, I had a dream we had twins, and one had red hair like DH, and one had brown hair like me...hoping that's true...lol.

Toller

@DiFazette that's a lot to keep straight!! Is your husband a positive blood type? That's odd that they want to take it AGAIN.....let alone an entire visit just for that! As if you have nothing else to do, right? at least the frequency will help keep your anxiety minimal at least, maybe?

That reminds me, I actually have a "weak positive" O blood type (sometimes shows up as negative, sometimes positive ha), I should probably ask them to check me for antibodies again.....

@brittnic86 I have off and on...... I saw this girl on facebook who transferred 2 embryos during IVF (just like i did) and they BOTH SPLIT and she had quads too!! AHHHHHHHH

brittnic86

@Toller02 so she had two sets of identical twins?! Oh good lord....

Toller

@brittnic86 YEP!!

On some of my multiples groups on facebook, I've seen quite a few mommas who have one set of twins, then a few years later have another.... just crazy!

brittnic86

@Toller02 uh yeah and your chances of having twins after having twins is higher. I thought we were done, but DH keeps saying oh maybe we'll have another...really!?

DiFazette

@brittnic86 yeah.  Quads is some serious business.  Lots of things that come along with that i'll choose not to discuss here.

@Toller02 - Husband is O+.  Apparently your antibodies to Rhogam can change and they don't want to give it without checking again.  Oddly enough, DS is A- as well, which is rare in itself, and even more rare with an O blood type father.  We're the specialist snowflakes in all the land!

TinaBelcher

We transferred 2 embryos as well, mainly because the quality of both sucked. I was TERRIFIED of twins and was told we were in the clear with 1 gestational sac at 5w and then surprise there's 2 heartbeats at 7w and I almost died 

@Toller02 a friend of mine transferred 2, both stuck and one split so she had triplets! Identical girls and a fraternal boy and they're the cutest kids I've ever seen, I love them and their masses of hair but holy overwhelming! In one of my modi groups there's a woman who just found out she's pregnant with her second set of identicals and I just can't. We're so done after this set! 

brittnic86

@TinaBelcher well @DiFazette and I had spontaneous twins, so we were very surprised lol. When they tech told us I just kept saying f&@$ repeatedly while my husband sat there laughing. This is my first pregnancy. 

DiFazette

And @TinaBelcher similar to you, one sac at 6 week appt, 2 sacs at 7 weeks.  I was FLOORED!  I kept saying, 'no, I was just here last week and the sac was measuring small so we're back to confirm viability.'  The NP was finally like 'look, there's two babies, I don't know what else to tell you'

brittnic86

@DiFazette my doctor didn't want to see me until 8 weeks, which is when I found out. I'd be doubting it too if there was only one at first! 

Toller

@TinaBelcher  You literally took my story right out of my mouth!! Terrified of twins and everything!

Long story short- we have MFI, so we decided on one round of IVF (the MFI like, doubles, the cost of standard IVF) and we're Catholic, so we agreed (with eachother) to try every embryo that we got (Which was 5 5-day blasts).  Transferred our "best" 2 in April '13 and got DD, transferred  1 in November '15- chemical pregnancy, and then our "worst" 2 transferred April '16 (I wanted to be done trying and spending boatloads of money)- both stuck!

When we went in for our confirmation ultrasound I was scared to look at the screen in case there wasn't a heartbeat.... then, the tech put the word "Twin A" on one sac on the screen and I just sat there and was like "... I'm so glad I'm already laying down....." Needless to say, it appears I'm the most guilty party in this group I knew there was a chance but.......I just really didn't think it was more than 1 in a million.....

@DiFazette  "no, I was just here last week...." hahaha-that's CRAZY

Amecsey

Hey guys, it's been a little bit since I've posted, but I am just going to jump right back in.

I have been beyond sad lately. My mom sees her surgical oncologist tomorrow to find out if her pancreatic cancer is operable (lord Jesus why did it have to be in the pancreas? and why did it have to be now?). This brings me to tears pretty much all day every day, and wakes me up at night. I have prayed to God, but whenever I start it seems silly to ask him for anything. My parents have been married for 40 years, they have been the greatest example of love and kindness, and have been supportive of me wherever my dreams took me. So I can't ask him for anything. He's already given me the world. But needless to say, I haven't really been up to doing any more preparations. And last week, because of all of the stress, I went to the hospital because I was having frequent early contractions. They gave me medicine to relax my uterus and watched me overnight, and everything seems okay now.

My main objective for the next few weeks is to relax, and not give into stressful thoughts. The morning my mom told me about the cancer I just happened to read a post from a girl I follow, and she was talking about how so much of our unhappiness in life comes from us trying to control a situation instead of letting it be whatever it is. So right now I am trying to focus on going with the flow, and letting what is be. Being patient, kind, not giving into my first initial negative reactions, and being grateful. I let myself cry whenever it comes, and then rub my belly and thank God for not one, but two amazing little miracles inside of me. I can't even imagine there only being one at this point.

@brittnic86
I am SO jealous of how prepared you are! I just ordered our glider this weekend and am going to wait until after my baby showers to see what else I need.

@TinaBelcher
Welcome! Are you a fan of Bob's Burgers? Love it!

@Toller02
If you asked me when I first found out about these twins, if I was done having kids after this, I said yes, for the main reason that I could have twins again and that sounds ridiculous and hard and silly. But now that I am more than halfway through the process, and so excited for the baby boys, I think I would be open to having another baby. Of course this could change after they are born, and I experience how ridiculously hard it is... but for the time being I think I am open to trying again. How magical would that be though? Two sets of twins!