MIL keeps commenting on baby's weight

rmmorris

My LO is 8 weeks old and 12 pounds. It seems like every time we FaceTime with my in laws my MIL spends the entire time making comments about how big my LO is (and not in the cute "look at those chubby cheeks" way). She says things like "I can see LO clearly isn't missing a meal" or "she's getting a double chin". Last night I said something about my LO not liking tummy time, and my MIL replied that she has a lot more weight to lift than other babies. I tried to brush it off, but it's starting to make me question how much I feed her (we are breastfeeding on demand). Am I being overly sensitive? Should I say something to her about it?

adiaz132003

I would ignore her. It's perfectly normal for babies to pack on fat this way.  We nicknamed my nephew the Micheline man cause he had so many rolls.  Took him longer to crawl cause he was heavy buy once he started crawling he actually when back in smaller clothes cause he was burning so much energy. Lol just tell her that breastfed babies will often gain weight faster in the beginning then level off.

Lizbeth86

@rmmorris does your mil have weight issues? (Either she's overweight or she's preoccupied with staying thin?) It sounds like this is her issue, not your LO's. I'd try to ignore her comments but honestly if they really got under my skin, I'd say something like that... "wow you're obsessed with her chubbiness, I think that's more of your issue than hers. Babies are supposed to be chubby, thank God she's healthy and getting enough breast milk!"

purplefan1

Send her the recent studies about how talking about weight is one of the biggest predictors for eating disorders and tell her to cut that crap out, immediately.

https://mobile.nytimes.com/blogs/well/2016/06/16/parents-should-avoid-comments-on-a-childs-weight/?referer=

KaylaR628

  I understand your sensitivities, my LO gets a lot of comments like this as well.  She is breastfed on demand as well and was 12.7 at her 2 month check up.  The doctor was very happy with her weight, though, so I'm happy, too!  She hates tummy time as well, but her weight has nothing to do with it and her skills are developmentally on track.  It's like training for a marathon for them...hard work and we'd probably gripe a little, too!
  I agree the comments likely have more to do with your MIL's insecurities than your baby, and that if you feel comfortable doing so a simple clap-back like "Thank goodness she's healthy and it's not the opposite" or something like that might be necessary, or even a more serious conversation if that doesn't work.  That article on eating disorders is a valuable one:  comments from my childhood, which never came from my parents, definitely contributed to my disordered eating habits as a teen/young adult, and I plan on correcting others to protect her from a similar fate as much as possible!

Knottie1431016427

We get lots of comments about Damien's chubby cheeks and little rolls but I take them as a compliment, it means he's a growing, healthy boy! I've also heard, as other's have mentioned, that babies pack on the pounds when breastfeeding. That's good!! Lots of nutrients and awesomeness that they need to be busy tiny humans.

peaceinnature

12 lbs is just slightly above average, so you could tell her that.  DS was 12lbs7oz at his check up and I looked it up and I think it was like 70th percentile.  My older son was a whopping 16 lbs at his 2 month visit and the pediatrician wasn't even concerned then.  And now he's an extremely active almost five year old, you can see his ribs and spine, but he's over 50lbs.  He's not overweight at all, just heavy.  

But it sounds like it's just her issues coming through, which you really can't do anything about. As far as I'm concerned babies should have double chins and rolls, they're so adorable!  

lm45678

This might sound crazy but I love how chunky Savannah is... She is EBF and it means I am providing enough for her! She is 8 weeks and about 12.5 pounds. If someone said something to me I would say "isn't it great! I'm so lucky I haven't had to supplement at all, makes me feel great!" And drop the subject.

Once she is a little older I will be very careful not to talk about her weight but right now she is my little chunky monkey and I love it

laurendiaz02

Try not to let it bother you. My son is 14 pounds 5 ounces and almost 10 weeks. I love that he's chunky and his doctor isn't concerned and said he looks great. He's formula fed and clearly not starving. lol. Once babies start crawling and walking the rolls start to go away. 

HeartLikeMine3

I would take it as a compliment just tell her thank you I created those rolls all on my own!!! Babies with rolls are my jam. 

Tawny87

I would tell her how much better it is than the alternative... My twins were 12 lbs at a year.

26pointrunningfor2

Just start commenting on her weight. 

catcat18

All what PPs have said, but also you cannot overfeed a breastfed baby. They are taking exactly what they need. Also, there is no correlation between a breastfeeding infants weight and their weight as a child or adult. Tell your mother in law that you're proud your baby is thriving. 

cy&damonsmommy

If that's large then my son is morbidly obese lol. He is 12 weeks old and 16 lbs. He does just fine with tummy time and all that so tell MIL to stuff it.

arteduc8

My MIL tried to butt in with her concerns about baby sleeping in her pack n play in our room still. She thinks she should be in the crib now. So I calmly but tersely told her it's recommended that babies sleep in the same room as it helps decrease the incidences of SIDS. She followed up with, well maybe my DH should be sleeping in the guest room then because he needs his sleep to which I responded that wasn't needed since LO sleeps through the night and doesn't keep us awake.

I decided not to just sit back and take her criticism and let her know why we are doing what we are doing. Otherwise, she would keep bringing it up and drive me crazy! Just be firm and calm in your response and state how the Dr has said baby is growing well and is not concerned. 

kbequette08

Don't think anything of it! My son weighed in at 15 lbs and 25 inches long at his 2 month check up! He's not got any fat on him at all he's just very long and skinny! And I EBF along with pumping so he's just getting some good milk.

kbequette08

Don't think anything of it! My son weighed in at 15 lbs and 25 inches long at his 2 month check up! He's not got any fat on him at all he's just very long and skinny! And I EBF along with pumping so he's just getting some good milk.

vulpini

That's a pretty average weight.  Sounds like she has serious issues with her own weight and body image.  I would tell her that baby is right where she should be on the growth charts and ignore any further comments for now.  Hopefully this issue won't come back when your daughter is old enough to understand what your MIL is saying.  That would be a much bigger issue.