WTF Wednesday 8/17

TheJerilu

What's got you saying "WTF" today?

JessWannaEatEverything

Why the heck do conference calls have to be so freakin long? Never bothered me before.. but now that I have to pee every 5 minutes I'm starting to hate everyone who babbles on, or can't connect to skype meeting. I feel like reaching though my computer and strangling someone every time they can't get to their point.

Stephout

I want to know how we got ourselves in this ridiculous mess of working while secretly pregnant. I'm dozing off in my office, can't trust myself to focus because I'm too tired or feel sick, and I'm trying to eat way more without being noticed. Why is it not socially acceptable to just tell them so I can stop pretending that I am being productive? Also, trying to schedule multiple doctor visits at times that don't look suspicious, or lying about where I'm going. COME ON!

That is my WHY TF.

JessWannaEatEverything

Stephout said:

I want to know how we got ourselves in this ridiculous mess of working while secretly pregnant. I'm dozing off in my office, can't trust myself to focus because I'm too tired or feel sick, and I'm trying to eat way more without being noticed. Why is it not socially acceptable to just tell them so I can stop pretending that I am being productive? Also, trying to schedule multiple doctor visits at times that don't look suspicious, or lying about where I'm going. COME ON!

That is my WHY TF.

Maybe you should tell them? I decided not to tell my work until I started showing, then last week we had carpet installed in the hallway outside my door. It smelled sooooooooo strong that I had to get out of there. I thought about making up a lie, but went with the truth. They're being so awesome about it now.. and it's really come in handy with the random blood tests, and crazy emotions.

STM2017

@Stephout, I strongly believe women should get a maternity leave during first trimester. It's brutal!!! Especially if you're trying to keep it a secret. I've been there!!! Hugs

belocin

WhhyyyyyTF do bad batches of Wondfo's exist?! I got my BFP on a Wondfo and tested the next few days because, well-I couldn't help myself. Find out last night they came from a batch that is notorious for false positives and it planted that seed of doubt. I confirmed on a digi with weeks estimator and two FRER's the day following the initial BFP but man. As if pregnancy isn't already enough of a mind game, a bad batch of Wondfo's is thrown into the mix. 

cookies754

Yesterday, while in the midst of a horrible stomachache after dinner, my lovely DH asked me if it could be possible that these pregnancy symptoms are in my head. Yes, DH, I'm making all of this up. I was ready to slap him. 

leslieknope

Ok, I'm maaaajorly WTFing my new intern. 

He and I met and came up with a list of projects for him to help on while he's here this semester. Today, he sends me a chat telling me that he plans on setting up meetings with my team (the 5 people who report to me) to try and get their perspectives on what seems to be working well and what could be improved. This is not related to any of the agreed upon projects, this is something he's decided to take upon himself? 

Like. Bro. I get ambition, I really do. But I'm kind of at "know your role" with him right now. No, you will not conduct meetings with my team to find out what they would like to improve. I  conduct those meetings. Quarterly. 

Any advice on how to go about this with him, without sounding territorial? I mean, on some level I am bristling a little at the thought of him coming in and basically asking my team what they like and don't like about me. He's not a paid consultant. He's not even a paid intern. 

Beckyf321

cookies754 said:

Yesterday, while in the midst of a horrible stomachache after dinner, my lovely DH asked me if it could be possible that these pregnancy symptoms are in my head. Yes, DH, I'm making all of this up. I was ready to slap him. 

GIRL.  I get really sick when I'm knocked up, to the point that I've had to go in for IV fluids.  My husband said during a previous pregnancy, "You can't be THAT sick".  He almost died that day.  

Rileypie

@cookies754 and @Beckyf321 seriously people who say it's in your head deserve to be punched in the gut every AM. WTF is wrong with people? !?! Let me break your nose and tell you the pain is all in your head...

mylittleirvz

Yeah last night I got a text from my husband before he got off work "Can I have the night off from parenting and have a few beers?" I responded with "Not a fair question to ask your pregnant, nauseous, exhausted wife. So no."  Sorry buddy, we are both parents in this situation. Now you also have to understand, I get the need for us to each have "time off" here and there but this is literally a week after he got home from going camping with his buddies for a week, he works later than I do so most evening duties are mine anyway and 9 times out of 10 if I get "time off" to go be with my girl friends, it's usually during DS nap or he's in bed for the night. Very rarely does he have to watch DS totally on his own. Ok, end of rant. Thanks hormones.

TheJerilu

@leslieknope
Yeah, NO.  Not okay, mister intern.  

If something similar were to happen to me, I would respond with, "I'm glad that you're interested in how the team feels.  We have regular quarterly meetings where we discuss pain points, successes, and improvement plans, and you're welcome to observe during these meetings - our next one will be held on X.  Additional meetings of this sort, particularly those of the non-actionable sort, would not be an optimal use of company time nor your limited time here as an intern.  While you are here as an intern, I encourage you focus on your responsibilities in a,b, and c"

Alternately, I like to let a person run their course and ask as many leading questions as possible until they draw themselves into a corner.  Things like, "Oh, that's an interesting change you've brought up!  Can you give me the details of how x process would benefit over y or z that we've attempted?  How would diverting the attention from m, n, and o to perform x process affect team morale and business?"  etc etc etc.  Eventually they end up admitting that they didn't actually think everything through or that maybe it's not worth shaking the status quo.

ETA: I think one thing intern/entry level employees don't understand is that most organizations do have focus on improving processes (time = money), and this sort of thing is discussed on the regular.  Also, a lot come from that "fresh out of school" mentality where they are used to feeling like the smartest person in a room rather than understanding that everybody has different skillsets and experience actually does hold a lot of weight.

leslieknope

@TheJerilu

Can I just phone you in for this meeting? That's great advice and you should know that I'm going to use most/all of it. 

I think you're exactly right, he's probably very eager to apply what he just learned and make a big difference at this organization. And one of the projects I am planning on utilizing him on is helping craft a handbook for the team to use, and I foresee it being something that is used for a long time, so I'm going to try to highlight how important that is and how impactful it will be. 

Thank you for the perspective, because I was ragey. 

Dannylion24

Rileypie said:

@cookies754 and @Beckyf321 seriously people who say it's in your head deserve to be punched in the gut every AM. WTF is wrong with people? !?! Let me break your nose and tell you the pain is all in your head...

Totally. I see red when people imply pregnancy symptoms aren't 'real.' It's absurd.

TheJerilu

@leslieknope
Bahaha I get phoned in on enough meetings as is.  Feel free to steal 100% of it, as long as the favor is returned when one of my team members does something that makes me want to throw them off the 21st floor.

clickclackmoo

@belocin there are bad batches of wondfos?

Beckyf321

I went to my workout class tonight for the first time in a couple of weeks.  I talked to the instructor at the beginning of class to make sure that I stay safe (as in, if there's a modification, just let me know, etc).  Of course, someone comes up and asks what's wrong with me because instructor was showing me what exercises not to do.  Instructor tells nosy lady I have a lower back problem, but I can't help myself and blab that I'm pregnant.  She IMMEDIATELY says, "oh yeah, I thought you were pregnant, you look pregnant!"

I'm 5 weeks tomorrow.  That's just the chub, lady, but thanks for unintentionally making me feel like a complete fatass.

winterstar1

I had the same exact thing happen to me, so I feel your pain!! I told an instructor I trusted and she was so awesome and gave me great advice. Then, the instructor for the super tough class after came up to us and when the awesome one told her that I could no longer do the crazy class for 9 months, she was like oohhhh!! I saw you walk into the grocery store last week and thought you looked pregnant....I was only 4 weeks at that point.

belocin

@clickclackmoo From what I understand (and those who are more familiar, please correct me if I'm wrong), some batches of Wondfo's will have a common occurrence of an error of some kind: false positives, dye runs, indent lines, evaps, etc. Its not all batches and not all tests within the batch but you can find out by googling the lot #. Overall, Wondfo's are still a great option, there's just a few who don't get it quite right. 

NESeattlite

WTF work - aiming for a promo at work but you essentially have to do your job and the one you want at the same time to prove you can do it.  Nearly impossible, especially when I don't have 80 hours a week to devote to this.  And they wonder why women thin out of the ranks real quick at this point...

Rileypie

@Beckyf321 I don't want to tell my workout class instructors yet because of those comments! I'm a bloated whale currently and was overweight to begin with so definitely could pass for about 6 months pregnant right now. 

Curious anyone know what moves should not be done when pregnant? I do a kickboxing circuit training class so we do lots of crazy stuff. 

Furmommy

This past weekend was my sisters wedding.. after a few drinks my step mom said that she had a dream last night that I was pregnant and that I was going to tell them tomorrow (sunday) after the wedding... Took the test on Monday and it was a BFP! How does that happen?

winterstar1

@Rileypie My instructor said kick boxing was a no no, just because of balance issues and such, but maybe your doctor will be ok with it if you've been doing it for a while? First trimester there doesn't seem to be as much need for modification, but once you start to show, it gets more complicated. I've told my main instructors and for the most part, they really have been so helpful

Rileypie

@jfochtman I was thinking I might just have to tone it down. You are right about balance. I also ride my.horse which is frowned upon by most OBs cause of the balance and fall risk. I was extra careful when pregnant with DD 

Amdogger82

@wenninger2016 One of my former staff members (who is going to seminary and very spiritual...to the extent of sensing things and having visions...) called me aND we were catching up and she flat out asked if I was pregnant. I was like, "No," and then it was awkward because I had to tell her about my MMC. She felt really bad, and was like, "I'm so sorry, I just felt that you were pregnant..." BUT! That night I took a test and there was a faint line. Coincidence? Probably, but a crazy one!

Beckyf321

@Rileypie, she said it's mostly further along in the pregnancy, but no "bicycle-type" ab workouts because it can separate the muscles.  She recommended that when everyone is doing those to keep my legs stationary (bent, like when you sit down, but up in the air....does that make sense?).