My 3 month old refuses her bottle and pacifier

z0w1

I need help mommies( sorry it's kinda long).. This is strange for me because my baby took a pacifier while she was still in hospital, I had an emergency cesarean so we stayed 4 days. It was the nurse who suggested the pacifier because apparently there's something called comfort sucking. Anyway I've been exclusively breastfeeding since then except the time I bought formula around a week or so because she would only suck one breast and it was sore and bleeding, so until I healed I gave her a bottle and pumped both breasts because I didn't want to mess up my supply. After healing, her father would occasionally bottle feed her. Then she had a period of sleep problems so we focused on that and maybe didn't give her a bottle or pacifier for almost a month, now I hear babies are like gold fish. I haven't had some time away from her cause I felt like she was too young, I'm still protective but I don't leave the house much because we have to stop to breastfeed and not all my clothes allow much so if we at the mall I have to go all the way back to the car. I'm even giving up on the thought of going back to work because whenever a bottle gets in her mouth she cries, we have tried warm/cold milk, pumped breast milk and me leaving the room, apparently something about my scent. I would really appreciate your thoughts on this, I love my baby with my all but I can't even leave her with family to take a walk. What can I do?

emilyalso

My little guy had a slow start gaining weight, so we supplemented a little in the beginning. Once my milk came in, he really took off! I fed him on demand until our 2 month appointment when he was in the 89% for weight. At this appt, my Ped said I could start trying to space out his feedings a little. We got to 2 hours easily and then stretched it to 3. 

I say all of that to say... THERE IS HOPE! I try not to use the S word (schedule), but if you can get into a sort of routine where you run out right after your baby has eaten and is full - whether they are with you or not - you might get a little break. That might be a short term solution. 

I remember trying to give my little guy a bottle when he was maybe 1.5 months (we hadn't supplemented since maybe 2 weeks old) and he screamed louder and flat out refused it. Then, when I took him to the Church nursery, they said he KILLED his bottles and that he was a great eater. I think it has a lot to do with who is doing the feeding. In addition to your smell (she knows how she gets milk from you - the boob) you are probably both getting stressed when she won't take it, and that can compound the problem. 

I know you said you tried different temperature milk - that made a difference for us too. You might also try different nipples on the bottles. If your baby is used to getting big mouthfuls from you and then really has to work at a bottle, she may be getting frustrated. We went from a 1 to a 3 and it made a HUGE difference for him when he needed a bottle. 

You might also try squeezing some out onto the bottle nipple or into her mouth to give her a taste of whats coming. 

Good luck! Maybe some of that will help.

z0w1

Thanks for the encouragement.. I think the problem is the fact that she hates the silicon/rubber feeling of bottles because she will sort of swallow the milk in between crying, she just doesn't care to suck the bottle. she pushes it out with her tongue, she would rather suck her fingers. I've tried a slow and medium flow but she still refuses, it's the same one she used to take earlier on. It is very frustrating, I would love to leave her with her grandparents once in a while, I hope I don't sound selfish but I haven't left her sight since she was born, well except to use the bathroom(tmi, sorry). Anyway thanks for taking time to respond.

emilyalso

It's not selfish - everyone needs a break! 

I remember at Christmas (LO was just over a month) I remember thinking people in my family might 'judge' me for feeding my baby so often - I basically fed him every time he cried. MAGICALLY, he didn't make a peep the whole time because I was almost never holding him. The change of scenery made all of the difference, I think. When I would tote him around all of the time, he thought he could just get a quick meal and I gave in. (To be clear, I don't feel bad about that...I knew I was meeting a need - either for food or for comfort.)

I'll reiterate the suggestion about trying to get a small break right after a meal. Even if you fed her while your mom was there (or DH, or a friend...) and handed her off and made a run for it. Go for a walk, go to Target, the coffee shop, wherever! In someone else's care, she might not even have time to think about food! 

My little guy is 9 months old now and I have only left him a handful of times - only once for what I consider to be a 'long' time. So I understand the pull between wanting to be with your baby and provide for them and make them happy and needing space and a recharge. You'll take care of her best when you take care of yourself too. 

z0w1

That is so helpful.. I've also noticed that she feeds less during family gatherins,  just anxious about leaving for first time knowing she doesn't take a bottle, but I also don't wanna be there when she cries cause I always give in. I can't wait for some mommy time. Thanks again for the support.

AdorkablePixie

I've been having this same problem. DS took a bottle fine from one month old on. Last wee he started daycare and he REFUSES to take a bottle. We worked on it a little over the weekend and he is not having it. I was hoping I'd find an answer in this thread. My daycare provider said my best bet is to refuse giving him the breast because he will refuse the bottle all day knowing that once I get there, he will get the breast no matter how hungry he is. So I guess I am going to try that since I'm not finding other answers and he NEEDS to take a bottle at daycare because when he's hungry he is inconsolable and she has other children she needs to take care of.

mb0112

My baby was fine with occasional bottles from 3 weeks to about 3 months, then started fussing when given a bottle which would escalate to crying.  What worked best for us was just staying very calm and trying again later.  Babies sense your tension so if I got nervous or upset about her refusing, it got worse. Also if I forced it into her mouth or left it around her mouth as she cried, it only made her more upset.  If I calmly put the bottle down, distracted her with some other game, the tried again shortly after, she'd eventually take it (may take a few tries).  I wouldn't advise a fast flow bottle.  Maybe have someone else try the bottles and step out of the room or house because it will be hard for you to not step in and offer to nurse if the baby is getting upset. 

mb0112

Just want to add my baby is now 5 months and takes bottles at daycare without any upset.  She doesn't drink a ton and eats
more when we are together and I can nurse, but she doesn't get hungry and refuse to eat. It might take some practice but I do believe your vibe as you give the bottle is important!

AdorkablePixie

@mb0112 Thank you! We actually figured out what the issue was. He was getting milk that I had stored in Medela bags (we had JUST switched to these as I ran out of the Lansinoh ones) and apparently those bags change the taste of the milk and he did not like it. We started giving him milk that I just store in bottles and he will now take a bottle. We also had to move from a #1 to a #2 nipple because as I was feeding him I noticed he'd suck for a bit then get really upset, pull off, suck again, and do the same thing over and over. He wasn't getting enough as fast as he wanted I could tell, and I have a fast letdown, so we switched nipple sizes and that has helped as well. I didn't want to switch, but I also want him to eat. The doctor isn't happy with his weight gain since he started daycare.