Sleep training — The Bump
January 2016 Moms

Sleep training

So we started CIO about 4 weeks ago. It was going great. Until she came down with a cold accompanied by a nasty cough. My baby loves snuggles so i gave her extra snuggles at bed time. Now that we've moved on from the cold she loses it when i put her in the crib. Screaming as loud as she can, writhing around and arching her back. Eventually i give in. I try to soothd her before i pick her up but that just pisses her off more. So we're back to 2 hour bed time routine and multiple wake ups at night and mommy is exhausted. Any advice or suggestions? Be harsh if you must, i can take it!

Re: Sleep training

  • We had a similar phenomenon-- LO was falling asleep on his own and taking good naps without TOO much crying when we did CIO. I think 45 min was the longest. Then we went on two vacations. Traveling, new places, staying with friends...basically I went back to nursing to sleep. Once we got home I wanted to get back in our routine and it has been so much harder than sleep training was the first time around. He has cried for 2+ hours on three occasions. It's been tough. But I *knew* he was fed, changed, burped etc and that his cries were cries of protest, so I just decided that I had to let him cry-- to convince both of us that he could put himself to sleep. We started about 2 weeks ago. I would say that now we're up to 90% success (putting himself to sleep without crying). The crying episodes are getting spaced out more and the duration of crying is shorter. So I guess what I'm saying is that, if your LO is like mine, sleep training at 6/7 months will be more difficult than at 4/5 months. But it's encouraging to know that they CAN do it. Best of luck to you!

  • It makes me sad that so many of you are resorting to CIO when there is so much evidence suggesting it's negative effects on baby's development :(
    Just a few things I have read recently when considering doing CIO for my LO:
    https://aaimhi.sslsvc.com/key-issues/position-statements-and-guidelines/AAIMHI-Position-paper-1-Controlled-crying.pdf
    Maybe take this information into consideration as to why your LO is fighting so hard for your love and affection at night time 
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    mrsgetz4000Miss LilacHipshaker
  • Simmer down. I'm pretty sure @kvacmak wasn't judging. Just giving her input. Just because someone disgagrees doesn't mean they are judging you. She was actually rather respectful. 
    stephanienjerHipshaker
  • But i do have to ask, what other solutions are their besides CIO? I don't have the patience to stand there with her for 45 minutes. We both need more sleep. I'm dying here
    cali1710Hipshaker
  • cali1710cali1710
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    edited August 2016
    But i do have to ask, what other solutions are their besides CIO? I don't have the patience to stand there with her for 45 minutes. We both need more sleep. I'm dying here
    CIO  was really the only option for us. The crying she did was completely protesting and had we stayed in the same room there would've been no end to it. There's absolutely nothing wrong with letting your child cry it out. Everyone's going to have different opinions and different approaches. And thats ok. I don't think there is a single thing in the world that everyone agrees on.  I can understand not letting your child cried out when they're a month old or very young. But at their age now they need to learn they can't cry and we come running to them. As long as you know your child is fed, dry and feeling OK I personally don't think its an issue. 
    fragglemom
  • @kvacmak I'm interested as to what you do regarding sleep then. You said you believe it has negative effects so what are you doing instead? I am genuinely curious not meaning this in a confrontational way at all :) I'm sure the one thing we can all agree on is we wish our baby was never sad or crying and would love an alternative lol 
    cali1710
  • @mrsgetz4000 Didn't mean to come across so ranty sounding. Not trying to cause a bug argument like in the hormone days! 
    cali1710
  • I have not done CIO, I started to a few months ago, but I didn't have the heart/willpower/strength to let him cry, even if he was just crying for my attention.  We have been co-sleeping, and I will lay with lo until he falls asleep, basically holding him, stroking his face, rubbing his back, etc.  He goes down SO much faster now because he rolls onto his side/tummy and apparently loves sleeping like this.  We are going to try his crib again next week, but I believe that we will eventually get there, where he can sleep in his own space, and I am in no hurry to rush it.  He's only a baby once, and it's hard to communicate to him now that he needs to sleep in his own space.  When he can actually understand what I'm saying, I figure we can work on it then. 
    image
  • I can't co sleep. I toss and turn to much at night. I would never get any rest. I think we just need to keep trying. She's teeething so that is probably a huge factor. 
    cali1710
  • jrouge12 I was not judging you, or anyone else in this group for choosing CIO, it seems a lot of parents were recommended it by their physicians, and I was just trying to offer a different side of evidence. 
    Also, all of the stuff you shared quotes the exact same study, one single study that was debunked by the articles I shared, and I also shared different position statements from medical and mental health associations on cry it out, based on more than one study. 

    kaym6 we did drowsy but awake since LO was 3 weeks old, he never cried himself to sleep and we've always responded to his cries. He sleeps 11-12 hours at night with 1-2 wakings for feeding, which I am not going to deny him, and the occasional waking in addition for us to reinsert his pacifier. 

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  • @kvacmak oh that's great :) 
  • jrouge12jrouge12
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    edited August 2016
    @kvacmak I'm sorry. I get crazy sometimes. I found some interesting reads (rebuttals and rebuttals of rebuttals) of the psychology today article. CIO was still what was best for me. 

    Edited because I can.
  • l4rkl4rk
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    I can't even. 
  • ChrissyD1203ChrissyD1203
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    edited August 2016
    We were told to do sleep training by our doctor.  I didn't find any reputable sources about negative effects---and was getting worried about the negative effects of baby not getting a good sleep which was affecting her eating.  We were about ready to do full blown CIO as it seems to be in baby's best health interests but we did these few other things first and 7 days in and they seem to be helping:

    1- cut out nighttime feedings-- slowly increasing the time between feedings and then substitute milk for just a single  ounce of water (no more) when she woke up in the middle of the night (just once a night at dr direction) and then a few days later cold turkey--- this has drastically reduced middle night wake ups (dr said when they drink milk at night turns their whole digestive system on which is not good and interrupts sleep)

    2- moved bedttime an hour later and wake her up if she falls asleep during her bedtime feeding 

    3-nighttime routine 45 mins before bed that starts with a bath (loving the smell of the Tom'a baby wash super relaxing) followed by thirty minutes of reading, skin to skin feeding and baby massage IN VERY DIM ROOM--- apparently being in the dark room with low noise helps babies enter first stage of sleep while they are awake.  Then we bring her to her room, quick song and prayers. Put her in bed, noise machine on, kiss good night and leave.  The first night of this she cried for less than 5 minutes and after that has cried for less than a minute and usually not at all. 




    fishee333fragglemom




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  • Yes to everything @ChrissyD1203 said.  Pushing bedtime back and setting a routine were extremely helpful to us.  We ultimately used the Ferber method as well.  CIO is a personal decision and every baby responds differently.  We all know our babies best.  My son was crying in protest at being put to bed awake and alone.  I never would have let him cry in real distress.  He quickly learned how to soothe and entertain himself and has been a happier baby overall. ( We don't have any car seat meltdowns anymore!) Some babies are naturally good sleepers ( congrats to anyone who has one of those) and some babies don't react well to CIO.  A method that works for one may be disastrous for another. 
    TLDR - whether you chose cio or not, you can't go wrong by selecting a consistent bedtime and routine
    l4rk
  • But i do have to ask, what other solutions are their besides CIO? I don't have the patience to stand there with her for 45 minutes. We both need more sleep. I'm dying here
    We aren't doing CIO, but we do allow her to fuss. I'm sure at this point, you know the difference for your own LO. Our LO has really bad AR, so crying to the point of hysteria brings on vomit, which means she's out of the crib for a sheet change. We're still getting our sea legs, but the thing that has worked the best for us is to put her down, but stay near the crib. The first few times, we sat in the rocker next to the crib, and had a hand out where she could hold on. Now we're setting her down, and moving across the room. She'll fuss, but never cry. Our biggest issue is baby gymnastics that happen when she's trying to settle. 
    We are very strict about routine, though. My husband suggested she get her last bottle in a different room, and I nearly lost my mind. We are play until 7, read a book or two, pjs, bottle. If she's still pretty hyper at that point, she gets a song, and then down.
    We've only had one hiccup, but she had a rough night that night due to teething.
  • I was reading a lot about infant sleep and cultural practices. I never thought about how much babies need to sleep or should be sleeping. Its crazy how much it varies from culture to culture. http://www.sgiquarterly.org/feature2009Jan-2.html
    Perspective!
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