@yogadevil that is so fucking inappropriate I don't even know what to say. I would absolutely lose my shit. I told our parents that we won't be posting any pictures of our kid on social media, like, ever, and they were all like, "hey, it's your kid, so it's your decision!" And I was so relieved when I realized that "your kid; your decision" is the only appropriate answer to essentially any question about something like this.
I'm team not making them share all the time. It's realistic to teach taking turns at young ages, my kid is 3 and if we are going somewhere public I tell her she has to take turns, but sometimes other people don't and that's ok. She isn't entitled to play with something another kid has, and needs to learn to deal with it if a kid says no to her.
My other FFFC: sometimes I really wish other kids would just not try to play with the same set of toys my daughter does when out, because inevitably it ends with "sharing" tantrums.
I am all for teaching my kid to share and be a decent human being, but sometimes I want to take her out and not constantly deal with her tantrums when she can't play with all 37 baby dolls.
I don't think you have to force sharing with every toy or with everyone. (Especially if the child is less than 3) Teaching sharing is great but kids are allowed to have somethings just for them. Imagine if adults had to share just because someone else wanted something they had.
Her issue is she will hoard toys when there are multiples (ex: today she had all 5 play baby bottles). I wouldn't make her share if it was the only toy or even if it were 2 and she was pretend playing with both - but it's tough when she hoards multiples like that.
@yogadevil your MIL sounds awful!! I'm sorry you have to deal with this. She had her kids....she doesn't get to make decisions about your kids. And "you're 16 weeks" is certainly not a valid excuse. She really just wants attention from her friends and to have something to talk about with them...which in that case, I think she can go have another kid of her OWN.
My God, and she moved within 1 mile of you? I would go cray cray!!
My other FFFC: sometimes I really wish other kids would just not try to play with the same set of toys my daughter does when out, because inevitably it ends with "sharing" tantrums.
I am all for teaching my kid to share and be a decent human being, but sometimes I want to take her out and not constantly deal with her tantrums when she can't play with all 37 baby dolls.
I don't think you have to force sharing with every toy or with everyone. (Especially if the child is less than 3) Teaching sharing is great but kids are allowed to have somethings just for them. Imagine if adults had to share just because someone else wanted something they had.
Her issue is she will hoard toys when there are multiples (ex: today she had all 5 play baby bottles). I wouldn't make her share if it was the only toy or even if it were 2 and she was pretend playing with both - but it's tough when she hoards multiples like that.
@NiceyMeany were very much the same- not planning on sharing pics on social media. Maybe here and there once a year but thats *our* choice and we won't abuse that until the kidlet is old enough to decide if they want their stuff out there. Then it becomes *their* choice.
@lct2008 yuuuuup we had already planned on not telling her when I go into labor. DH was never too pleased about it, but this kind of crap solidifies it in his mind. She's nutso and pushy.
Just wanted to say....I told my husband not to tell ANYONE the sex of the baby. And I specifically stated not to tell his parents. What does he do? He tells his mom! And then when I get upset, he says "you never told me that." Did he just straight up try to lie to me? And of course, my MIL has the biggest mouth in the world. So now, I have to let my mom know, too....because God forbid one of them should find out that my MIL knew before my mom. Why are MIL's like this? And why is my husband such a mamma's boy?? Sometimes it's sweet but most of the times, it's annoying AF!
My fffc is I have been loving my MIL more than my own mom lately and really disliking my FIL. I swear my mom does things to annoy me or make stupid comments that aren't needed. My FIL has stage four cancer and his chemo treatments are messing with his brain. He's been extremely rude towards my husband and making uncalled for comments about his abilities. My husband bends over backwards to fix stuff at their house and my FIL acts like he has to beg to get him to fix stuff. My MIL is a whole new woman since she's retired. We went to lunch, just her, I and my son for the first time in the eight years I've been with my husband.
Many mom is out of town this weekend and I am taking advantage of it to see my dad and go boating with him. I don't have to deal with her, so it will be great!
We have two sleeping beauties in heaven. Jack gained his wings on 09/02/2016. Kali gained her wings on 07/28/2015. They will be forever missed.
I know you're very frustrated with your FIL but try to keep reminding yourself that he has health issues. I'm sorry, I know it's much easier said than done. I'm only saying this to help you keep yourself from going crazy. My maternal grandma is certainly not the nicest grandma out there. And she has always been like this. But now that she's 90 years old, my aunts and uncles use that as an excuse for her mean manipulative behavior. And it drives me crazy!!! because I know that everyone knows that this is not a symptom of her Dementia but that she has always been like this. At some point along the way, though, I gave up being angry and just went with the flow. I remind myself, "we'll she's too old to change her habit and she's not even going to remember an hour from now what she said." I hope this piece of advice might help you in dealing. I'm sure there's more to the story than what you've told us and he must drive you crazy. I'm not downplaying that at all. Just thought this technique might help.
DH is on a mission trip and I've been at home with the 2 dogs and our 2 sons for the past week. I'm so beyond exhausted, and I feel like I will want to take a me vacation when he gets home next week. I'm too tired to mom!
@Runner313 exactly! I was always kinda envious when women in my family would say their kid auto weaned at 10 months or a year or whatever. Nope not my kid. Boobies for life apparently. Once this baby is born it will be 3 years total pregnancy/nursing and I really want my body to be mine again.
Having your body back after so long is so nice. Seriously one of the best things ever.
BFP #1: DD born on 08.25.12
BFP #2: 09/08/15 miscarried at 6w
BFP #3: DD2 born on 02.07.17
@AfKash Ughhhhh!!!! Both our MILs are hereby voted off the island.
Can my mil go with them? Pretty please!! I have managed to avoid my mil for nearly 2 months since we told her i was pregnant which has been great but we have to visit on sunday & i am absolutely dreading it. Shes really passive agressive & makes digs constantly about my weight & acts like everything is a competition with me when it comes to my husband. She constantly makes comments that imply im a gold digger & that my husband spends all his money on me! Yes he is very generous (to his whole family not just me & they totally take the piss) but im an engineer & make decent money myself to buy my own expensive things i just dont make as much as my husband who is a doctor. Im drained thinking about seeing her already!
My MIL is on the phone right now with my husband asking him what I made for breakfast. !!!! You know if you care so much, why don't you send him food? She has never cooked for us ever. But she will constantly criticize my cooking. Mind you, food from my culture is made differently from where she's from.
Re: FFFC TIME 8/12
It's realistic to teach taking turns at young ages, my kid is 3 and if we are going somewhere public I tell her she has to take turns, but sometimes other people don't and that's ok.
She isn't entitled to play with something another kid has, and needs to learn to deal with it if a kid says no to her.
My God, and she moved within 1 mile of you? I would go cray cray!!
@lct2008 yuuuuup we had already planned on not telling her when I go into labor. DH was never too pleased about it, but this kind of crap solidifies it in his mind. She's nutso and pushy.
So now, I have to let my mom know, too....because God forbid one of them should find out that my MIL knew before my mom. Why are MIL's like this? And why is my husband such a mamma's boy?? Sometimes it's sweet but most of the times, it's annoying AF!
Many mom is out of town this weekend and I am taking advantage of it to see my dad and go boating with him. I don't have to deal with her, so it will be great!
Jack gained his wings on 09/02/2016.
Kali gained her wings on 07/28/2015.
They will be forever missed.
I have managed to avoid my mil for nearly 2 months since we told her i was pregnant which has been great but we have to visit on sunday & i am absolutely dreading it. Shes really passive agressive & makes digs constantly about my weight & acts like everything is a competition with me when it comes to my husband. She constantly makes comments that imply im a gold digger & that my husband spends all his money on me! Yes he is very generous (to his whole family not just me & they totally take the piss) but im an engineer & make decent money myself to buy my own expensive things i just dont make as much as my husband who is a doctor. Im drained thinking about seeing her already!
Consider her banished as well
She has never cooked for us ever. But she will constantly criticize my cooking. Mind you, food from my culture is made differently from where she's from.