FB Group- Discussion Thread

ruemcclanahan

There has been some talk about the FB group so I thought I would make a poll to gauge how we feel about it.

mommytimesfour

I'm pretty ready, I think. Either way I'll join since once FB is set up and going, this board will pretty much die off. I wanted to add though, that whoever sets up the FB should be a pretty regular poster who has no problem slamming down the deny hammer. I'd be a lot more comfortable if access was granted only to posters who have been regularly contributing for a while and who's screen names can be recognized by most of the posters here. And definitely a private group on Facebook that can't be searched. 

ruemcclanahan

JLmama118 said:

I'm pretty ready, I think. Either way I'll join since once FB is set up and going, this board will pretty much die off. I wanted to add though, that whoever sets up the FB should be a pretty regular poster who has no problem slamming down the deny hammer. I'd be a lot more comfortable if access was granted only to posters who have been regularly contributing for a while and who's screen names can be recognized by most of the posters here. And definitely a private group on Facebook that can't be searched. 

I totally agree.
I think some of the other months have had 3 or 4 people "in charge" and to be added you had to be recognized by at least one or maybe more than one.

ajn092

JLmama118 said:

I'm pretty ready, I think. Either way I'll join since once FB is set up and going, this board will pretty much die off. I wanted to add though, that whoever sets up the FB should be a pretty regular poster who has no problem slamming down the deny hammer. I'd be a lot more comfortable if access was granted only to posters who have been regularly contributing for a while and who's screen names can be recognized by most of the posters here. And definitely a private group on Facebook that can't be searched. 

^^^^This. There should be multiple admins and (like Oct) they should be going through post history looking for regular contribution. Someone who has only participated in HDBD threads would not be a good match. 

steminist

To a certain extent I agree, but I also would feel terrible if there are people whose names I recognize who feel uncomfortable "applying"for access because they don't think they meet the threshold for "regular" status. It's a hard line to draw, although having multiple people who are approving would help. Not sure I love the idea of having your post history be a yardstick, though...

ruemcclanahan

@Jabreen I was thinking about a few weeks back when some people were talking about how we have "tiers" of members, I hope that no one feels like that now. I don't want anyone to feel uncomfortable.

mommytimesfour

Jabreen said:

To a certain extent I agree, but I also would feel terrible if there are people whose names I recognize who feel uncomfortable "applying"for access because they don't think they meet the threshold for "regular" status. It's a hard line to draw, although having multiple people who are approving would help. Not sure I love the idea of having your post history be a yardstick, though...

Meh. I'd rather be safe than sorry in this situation. I think people sort of know if they make the cut or not. You don't have to be an every day poster by any means, but a recognized one who's posted more than once or twice since we started. Also, I'd say judging on recent posting rather than quantity might be a good idea. If someone we recognize from 6 months ago wants in but has been MIA since, then no. I'd question their motives at that point. If you've only posted a handful of times but have been active in the last month or two then I wouldn't have much of a problem. Maybe I'm just too skeptical. 

ajn092

Definitely don't want people to feel like there are tiers. And maybe I should clarify what I meant. 

Specifically I think they should be looking at the quality of recent posts. To me, it doesn't matter if they've just joined within the last month if they're regularly contributing quality responses, providing support to others, and/or sharing. Whereas someone who only posts on HDBD and a ticker change here or there throughout the pregnancy will probably be just as inactive on a private group.

vampirina

Personally, I definitely don't think I'd recognize everyone who might be considered a "regular," but if there are 3-4 admins they'd probably recognize almost everyone who's a regular poster between them. 

Not sure if we should do a separate poll and nomination for our admins or? Does anyone really care or have a specific preference as to who the admins are? I don't, personally, as long as I'm not prohibited from joining haha. 

tinypikachu

Don't care who the admins are as long as they're part of the most regular group. I think we should hold off on selecting those until we decide when to do the group and a good amount of people have voted here.

Maybe I'm a little strict, but I feel privacy is huge as far as moving to FB. Some of us are more private than others so I think we should settle on a happy medium. I strongly agree with keeping the group to regulars. Now, I don't mean only those that post every day, but definitely people that have been around for a bit, recognizable sn, have a decent amount of posts outside of ticker change and HDBD and are frequent participants. Personally, I'm very private and keep my FB info private to the public. I, and I know I'm not the only one, recognize a lot of screen names on here, even those of people that have said they're afraid of being left out, so I don't think they have anything to worry about.

rock1cherry

I don't have Facebook so I voted for none. I will miss everyone if they take off from the board...just sayin!

Thscary

I'm all ready for the facebook group. it might be easier to keep up that way

diagonalley

We had 5 admins start my first BMB FB group. I was one of them. Between us we had to recognize the poster. There were a few that wanted in that we didn't feel comfortable and had a message we responded back with along the lines of we appreciate their interest but feel we don't know them well enough at this point and encouraged them to participate more and ask to come in later.

RG1

I didn't vote cause of no Facebook. @megan324 you should make an option to vote that you don't have Facebook so we can still feel a part of the poll lol

ruemcclanahan

@RG1
It wont let me!
I thought about that after I posted it, my bad!!!

RG1

@megan324 no worries! Just feel bad not participating in something lol

tinypikachu

Also, would it be possible for the admins to not make spreadsheets with everyone's email addresses? I know it's easier to handle this way but with this information being leaked on TB before, it's just... no. I'll go with whatever the majority wants though, it just gives me the willies. If they do private spreadsheets, I think I'd prefer the option of just asking to be in the group through FB. Is that even possible?

ruemcclanahan

AlwaysAuntNeverMom said:

Also, would it be possible for the admins to not make spreadsheets with everyone's email addresses? I know it's easier to handle this way but with this information being leaked on TB before, it's just... no. I'll go with whatever the majority wants though, it just gives me the willies. If they do private spreadsheets, I think I'd prefer the option of just asking to be in the group through FB. Is that even possible?

Oh gosh that makes me nervous lol I have no idea how these things get set up but I also hope whoever does it doesn't do that.....

diagonalley

We didn't do any such spreadsheets. The admins were named and anyone interested in joining could PM one of them with their email. If it was someone the individual admin was unsure of, they were discussed in a group chat. 

AmMcc12

How I've seen/heard it happen is there are a few admins who get PMs from those who want to join the group. The admins look at post history and whatever the criteria is to join FB and would add if they met criteria. I think the admin has to friend the person on FB to add them to the group but they can unfriend after if not comfortable. I don't know why a public spreadsheet would be needed though

Tippy05

I'm also ready to make the leap to FB but am very private IRL and have tried very hard to make my FB private and would appreciate whatever the admins can do to keep it that way.  
I get that not everyone is as "socially prude" as I am so I know I'll have to bend some but I do feel like I "know" and can trust the regulars here.

tinypikachu

AmMcc12 said:

How I've seen/heard it happen is there are a few admins who get PMs from those who want to join the group. The admins look at post history and whatever the criteria is to join FB and would add if they met criteria. I think the admin has to friend the person on FB to add them to the group but they can unfriend after if not comfortable. I don't know why a public spreadsheet would be needed though

Good to know. I did mean private spreadsheets shared by the admins only, that's why I'd be afraid they'd get shared. I read this happened here on TB when moving to FB and was like, hell no!

cassthesass09

Megan324 said:

@Jabreen I was thinking about a few weeks back when some people were talking about how we have "tiers" of members, I hope that no one feels like that now. I don't want anyone to feel uncomfortable.

I've mentioned this before but I lurk/read a lot and sometimes feel weird contributing because there are some members who have created really strong bonds with each other and I don't have much to add (because it's either already been said or I'm a FTM with no advice to give). I don't think it's a "member tier" situation but I would be really disappointed if I was given the "deny hammer" because I didn't post enough and people didn't "recognize" me enough to invite me. I only read here on my phone and have login issues sometimes. I'm much more interactive in FB groups than on message boards. 

I totally get wanting to protect people's identities and our babies/families but there can sometimes be a bit of a fine line between wanting to make sure someone checks out and a "cool kids only" table situation. 

tinypikachu

@cassiebmalek girl, you and miss Tippy (saw your other post just now) are definitely recognized, at least by me, and I'm sure by others.

diagonalley

cassiebmalek said:

Megan324 said:

@Jabreen I was thinking about a few weeks back when some people were talking about how we have "tiers" of members, I hope that no one feels like that now. I don't want anyone to feel uncomfortable.

I've mentioned this before but I lurk/read a lot and sometimes feel weird contributing because there are some members who have created really strong bonds with each other and I don't have much to add (because it's either already been said or I'm a FTM with no advice to give). I don't think it's a "member tier" situation but I would be really disappointed if I was given the "deny hammer" because I didn't post enough and people didn't "recognize" me enough to invite me. I only read here on my phone and have login issues sometimes. I'm much more interactive in FB groups than on message boards. 

I totally get wanting to protect people's identities and our babies/families but there can sometimes be a bit of a fine line between wanting to make sure someone checks out and a "cool kids only" table situation. 

Maybe this makes me sound like a jerk but I don't think that's fair. You're asking people to release their personal identities to essentially anyone who wants in. I don't think it has anything to do with the cool kids. Either you participate and are recognized or you don't and you're not. That has nothing to do with people's opinions of you, nor has opinions of other posters even been brought up as something to consider. I will not be comfortable joining a free for all FB group.

cassthesass09

@AlwaysAuntNeverMom aww thank you. I'm not trying to make this a pity me or poor me post (sorry if it sounds that way - feel free to flame with funny GIFs) but I love reading along and by the time I get to an end of a thread, everything I thought has been brought up/discussed! 

mommytimesfour

diagonalley said:

cassiebmalek said:

Megan324 said:

@Jabreen I was thinking about a few weeks back when some people were talking about how we have "tiers" of members, I hope that no one feels like that now. I don't want anyone to feel uncomfortable.

I've mentioned this before but I lurk/read a lot and sometimes feel weird contributing because there are some members who have created really strong bonds with each other and I don't have much to add (because it's either already been said or I'm a FTM with no advice to give). I don't think it's a "member tier" situation but I would be really disappointed if I was given the "deny hammer" because I didn't post enough and people didn't "recognize" me enough to invite me. I only read here on my phone and have login issues sometimes. I'm much more interactive in FB groups than on message boards. 

I totally get wanting to protect people's identities and our babies/families but there can sometimes be a bit of a fine line between wanting to make sure someone checks out and a "cool kids only" table situation. 

Maybe this makes me sound like a jerk but I don't think that's fair. You're asking people to release their personal identities to essentially anyone who wants in. I don't think it has anything to do with the cool kids. Either you participate and are recognized or you don't and you're not. That has nothing to do with people's opinions of you, nor has opinions of other posters even been brought up as something to consider. I will not be comfortable joining a free for all FB group.

I agree with this 100%. Like I said a few posts up, this is a situation where I'd rather be safe than sorry. Monitoring who gets allowed in has nothing to do with being a bitch or a cool kid, it's a matter of protecting the identity of the members. I feel this is a situation where it can't be about protecting feelings or not wanting to single people out. If there are multiple admins approving and denying peoples' entries and someone still doesn't make the cut, it's in the best interest of the members who do IMO. If someone hasn't participated much here at all, I feel like it would be strange for them to even want to be a part of the FB group. Red flag alert. We have this BMB where anyone can hop in and participate, FB should be different. 

AmMcc12

It's something that could possibly be put to a "vote" where TB screen name gets posted in the group and if majority recognizes then they are added if not then they aren't??

tinypikachu

JLmama118 said:

diagonalley said:

cassiebmalek said:

Megan324 said:

@Jabreen I was thinking about a few weeks back when some people were talking about how we have "tiers" of members, I hope that no one feels like that now. I don't want anyone to feel uncomfortable.

I've mentioned this before but I lurk/read a lot and sometimes feel weird contributing because there are some members who have created really strong bonds with each other and I don't have much to add (because it's either already been said or I'm a FTM with no advice to give). I don't think it's a "member tier" situation but I would be really disappointed if I was given the "deny hammer" because I didn't post enough and people didn't "recognize" me enough to invite me. I only read here on my phone and have login issues sometimes. I'm much more interactive in FB groups than on message boards. 

I totally get wanting to protect people's identities and our babies/families but there can sometimes be a bit of a fine line between wanting to make sure someone checks out and a "cool kids only" table situation. 

Maybe this makes me sound like a jerk but I don't think that's fair. You're asking people to release their personal identities to essentially anyone who wants in. I don't think it has anything to do with the cool kids. Either you participate and are recognized or you don't and you're not. That has nothing to do with people's opinions of you, nor has opinions of other posters even been brought up as something to consider. I will not be comfortable joining a free for all FB group.

I agree with this 100%. Like I said a few posts up, this is a situation where I'd rather be safe than sorry. Monitoring who gets allowed in has nothing to do with being a bitch or a cool kid, it's a matter of protecting the identity of the members. I feel this is a situation where it can't be about protecting feelings or not wanting to single people out. If there are multiple admins approving and denying peoples' entries and someone still doesn't make the cut, it's in the best interest of the members who do IMO. If someone hasn't participated much here at all, I feel like it would be strange for them to even want to be a part of the FB group. Red flag alert. We have this BMB where anyone can hop in and participate, FB should be different. 

Whoa, I didn't see her post like that at all. That being said, I do agree with all of this. If I'm sharing my FB and family stuff, I want to know it's in a safe, private environment with these guidelines. 

mamadomino

I agree with @diagonalley.  I don't think it's a cool kid situation. 

Thscary

So far I have recognized every person that has expressed concerns about not being recognized

cassthesass09

diagonalley said:

cassiebmalek said:

Megan324 said:

@Jabreen I was thinking about a few weeks back when some people were talking about how we have "tiers" of members, I hope that no one feels like that now. I don't want anyone to feel uncomfortable.

I've mentioned this before but I lurk/read a lot and sometimes feel weird contributing because there are some members who have created really strong bonds with each other and I don't have much to add (because it's either already been said or I'm a FTM with no advice to give). I don't think it's a "member tier" situation but I would be really disappointed if I was given the "deny hammer" because I didn't post enough and people didn't "recognize" me enough to invite me. I only read here on my phone and have login issues sometimes. I'm much more interactive in FB groups than on message boards. 

I totally get wanting to protect people's identities and our babies/families but there can sometimes be a bit of a fine line between wanting to make sure someone checks out and a "cool kids only" table situation. 

Maybe this makes me sound like a jerk but I don't think that's fair. You're asking people to release their personal identities to essentially anyone who wants in. I don't think it has anything to do with the cool kids. Either you participate and are recognized or you don't and you're not. That has nothing to do with people's opinions of you, nor has opinions of other posters even been brought up as something to consider. I will not be comfortable joining a free for all FB group.

I understand your stance and everyone else's and I get that it becomes a matter of "protecting feelings" versus "protecting indentity" but I'm also not saying that it should be a free for all. I agree that people that rarely post (and that very well could be me) wouldn't make the cut because of privacy - I just meant that I would be sad since this group would die off on this board and I find y'all to be funny and smart women. That's all. And if that's the way it's intended so be it. 

Sorry for the derail. Back to the topic at hand. 

diagonalley

AmMcc12 said:

It's something that could possibly be put to a "vote" where TB screen name gets posted in the group and if majority recognizes then they are added if not then they aren't??

I fear this would be more like a popularity contest. I think whoever the admins are, as long as there are a variety, would be adequately able to make this determination. 

AmMcc12

diagonalley said:

AmMcc12 said:

It's something that could possibly be put to a "vote" where TB screen name gets posted in the group and if majority recognizes then they are added if not then they aren't??

I fear this would be more like a popularity contest. I think whoever the admins are, as long as there are a variety, would be adequately able to make this determination. 

 I started thinking about that after I posted scratch that idea 

yellowrose314

Totally down with this. I can think of a few regular's on here I would be comfortable moderating a FB group. And I definitely don't see it as a "cool kids" situation. Everyone has different circumstances, some people post sporadically because of their schedules, or even technical difficulties; fly by posters and those that don't actively give support but demand to get support are not down in my books. For the most part, I feel pretty comfortable opening up my Facebook to the regular posters on here because I find them to be respectful, encouraging and kind; I just don't want a bunch of randoms trolling my personal pictures. 

geminigirl16

Despite the fact that I rarely go on Facebook anymore, I think I am down for a group now. I find the group in general to be quite respectful vs some of the other BMBs that I have seen. As long as the group is private and I manage my privacy settings accordingly I don't really forsee a problem. I mobile bump exclusively and truly find the FB app SO much more user friendly than TB. Like mentioned already, there was no name above who commented that I didn't recognize. 

SLou24

For those who are worried about not being recognized (although for the record, I recognize all of the names that have brought this up today and recently), maybe just trying to contribute even a tiny bit more would help? Even if you're late to the party, or feel like everything has already been said, try just being a bit more vocal, get to know people a little bit better. 

And honestly, hardly anything I have to say on here has any value at all but these fine ladies all seem to humor me anyway.  

sareej521

I'm kind of in the same boat as you @cassiebmalek, my bump app is super glitchy these days so I haven't been on much lately and I usually hate repeating what everyone else has said advice wise! Guess I'll have to pick it up a bit the next couple weeks so I can try to make it into the fb group, I'm much more active there!

MojieJo

I'm fine with there being a FB group, as long as we take privacy precautions (making it a private group, having trusted people running it, etc.).  

I don't use FB much, but I do have an account.  I won't be abandoning The Bump to post only on FB (assuming I'm invited, but I like to think that I post enough to be recognized and included), but I would definitely be involved.  

I don't really have anyone in my life with young babies (aside from one friend with an 18 month old), so I'm sure I'd appreciate having a place to talk and vent whenever I can find the time with two newborns.

I am slightly put off by the fact that things are so much less organized on FB (no dedicated threads, etc.), so I'm afraid of missing things, especially if there are a lot of posts, but that won't stop me from joining.

mommytimesfour

MojieJo said:

I'm fine with there being a FB group, as long as we take privacy precautions (making it a private group, having trusted people running it, etc.).  

I don't use FB much, but I do have an account.  I won't be abandoning The Bump to post only on FB (assuming I'm invited, but I like to think that I post enough to be recognized and included), but I would definitely be involved.  

I don't really have anyone in my life with young babies (aside from one friend with an 18 month old), so I'm sure I'd appreciate having a place to talk and vent whenever I can find the time with two newborns.

I am slightly put off by the fact that things are so much less organized on FB (no dedicated threads, etc.), so I'm afraid of missing things, especially if there are a lot of posts, but that won't stop me from joining.

I definitely vote for keeping our weekly threads. There's no reason why we can't keep doing HDBD, UO Thursday, FFFC, etc. A nightly check in will be a must with everyone having newborns, and we could also create new topics as we go as well. Just my .02 

diagonalley

MojieJo said:

I'm fine with there being a FB group, as long as we take privacy precautions (making it a private group, having trusted people running it, etc.).  

I don't use FB much, but I do have an account.  I won't be abandoning The Bump to post only on FB (assuming I'm invited, but I like to think that I post enough to be recognized and included), but I would definitely be involved.  

I don't really have anyone in my life with young babies (aside from one friend with an 18 month old), so I'm sure I'd appreciate having a place to talk and vent whenever I can find the time with two newborns.

I am slightly put off by the fact that things are so much less organized on FB (no dedicated threads, etc.), so I'm afraid of missing things, especially if there are a lot of posts, but that won't stop me from joining.


Ahhh stuck in quote box. FB can be organized, too, just semi different when looking for threads. We have a weekly randoms, weekly HDBD, weekly TTC, we had threads for each major doctor visit (2 months, 4 months, 6 months, etc) to share stats. These are just a few examples