How to choose godparents for your child

melisaleigh

how do you decide who will be the godparents 
I have a brother and so does my husband neither of us have sisters.  My brother is married his brother is not.  How do I tell one they will not be a godfather??? Help!!!! 

amandac12581

Can the baby have 2 godfathers?  It may not be the traditional way, but then you won't have to exclude someone if you really don't want to.

bean_2016

We are having the exact same issue right now. I have a sister (not married) and H has a sister (married, but we wouldn't ask him to be a god father that's for sure!). I am going to ask our minister if we can ask both of our sisters. Like @amandac12581 mentioned it might not be the most traditional way but I think it works! 

melisaleigh

We were thinking of having 2 godfathers and 1 godmother but then if we have another child where does that leave us ?  This shouldn't be such a stressful decision.  You feel like you will hurt someone's feelings no matter what you decide 

amandac12581

@melisaleigh if you guys are planning on a second baby you can always promise the godparent role for the second baby to the one who isn't getting it for this baby.  Still a tough decision either way, good luck!

yodiggity

How about just telling them the truth? You've "decided xyz, because abc.."

melisaleigh

I know @yodiggity but that's easier said then done.  Don't want to hurt feelings.  Why is one brother chosen over the other. What's the reason you give? 

randilea0110

We picked one of our really good friends to be dd godfather (he is married but we didn't ask his wife to be godmother because she doesn't believe) and my aunt is her godmother. We both have brothers, one married and one not, but they both state that they don't believe in god, so that pretty much excludes them from this honor. Pick the people that you think would best honor your beliefs if you were not around. I would much rather have people chosen as dd godparents that will help her to build her faith than worry about hurting others feelings. That is how I made my decision anyway. Good luck! 

Missingchampagne

amandac12581 said:

Can the baby have 2 godfathers?  It may not be the traditional way, but then you won't have to exclude someone if you really don't want to.

Depends on the church and denomination. I haven't found a local Catholic Church that will do this (they immediately think you're trying to sneak a same-sex couple past them, even if it's just that you don't want to choose), but we're exploring non-denominational Christian options that may allow us to do whatever we want. 

momofmanyinthemitten

Our Catholic Church in Cleveland allowed two godfathers (baby #1), but I'm sure that it wouldn't fly at our current church (babies 2-4). We had the oldest sibling of DH be godparent to our first, then his 2nd oldest sibling and spouse for our 2nd. None of my family is Catholic, so it made the decision a lot easier.

rebelone

Hey er'body! I hope all is well with your babies. I so far only have one godparent. I was going to ask the pastor if that was okay.

juana0909

Well Im glad I dont have that issue ,, my sister and brother in law will be godparents,, the only thing is that they hate eachother but like i told them if u cant behave and just do it for the LO then maybe you are noy the best choice and they both accepted and said that they would do it for LO

kalanieileen

Fortunately for us it is common in the Filipino culture to have multiple godparents, so it makes choosing a bit easier. You may not be able to not hurt feelings on this one, so maybe better to just rip it off like a bandaid and do what @yodiggity said

3dogs_and_a_baby

I have 2 sisters and DH has one brother, years ago before I was even dating DH my sisters and I went to a physic. The physic told my sister she was having all boys and I would be having a girl. My sister jokingly said that she wanted a little girl so asked that I make her the god mother of my first daughter. I told her sure and it just stuck making it easy to pick. My other sister knows that she'll be the godmother for our next child and to include her in my DD baptism I'm using her christening gown. My mom had preserved all 3 of ours and I thought it would be a nice gesture to include her. 

redselig

kalanieileen said:

Fortunately for us it is common in the Filipino culture to have multiple godparents, so it makes choosing a bit easier. You may not be able to not hurt feelings on this one, so maybe better to just rip it off like a bandaid and do what @yodiggity said

I never even knew there was a limit until I read this thread.  

linzoirv

I remember having this question back when I pregnant. At this time, LO doesn't have godparents. I'm okay with appointing some down the line; no rush. Right now, our selections are slim. We are actually still debating the legal guardianship of my MIL and/or F. Our family dynamics have changed since our son was born....still have to make this decision.