And I Smile

zigzag8412

I use to write a lot of poems *many* years ago.  Nothing amazing and certainly nothing published.  But it was a way for me to express emotion and feel some peace.  I had my first appointment with a specialist today and it wasn't great news, though it wasn't anything uncommon to this board either.  I don't know what we'll do with it, but as people have been asking results of the appointment all day, they've all said some things intended to be encouraging that were, despite their best efforts, still patronizing.  It made me think of the threads we've had about stupid things people say.  And then one friend said the perfect thing "I don't know what to say and I have nothing to offer.  I'm sorry.  But I'm hear if you need me."  And for some reason a little poem diddy happened in my head.  I thought I'd share:
---

And I Smile

  

Across his desk I sit and cling

To any thought but that one thing

Of news that causes me to balk

“You’re doing well” they say, yet shocked

And I smile.

 

For nothing can for this, amend

Not qualified or simply friend

Of hope and loss and grief and pain

“You’ve got it this time! Try again!”

And I smile.

 

My story no one else has lived

Within my mind constantly hid

Of dying slowly deep inside

“But it’s still possible!” they reply

And I smile.

 

The child on arm that screams, red-faced

Or hand-in-hand and just in place

Of parent who past their treasure sees

“You must be glad, you seem so free!”

And I smile.

 

In secret worlds of secret woes

The kind no other soul could know

Of thoughts turned noise and fragile poise

“You’re handling it well” they say, surprised

And I smile.

 

Then finally a true friend’s words

“I have no wisdom you’ve not heard

Of help or comfort I know not

Just know I’m hear if you want to talk.”

And I smile.

ReesaAnne16

So beautiful, I teared up reading it Thank you for sharing

Plainjanie

Thank you for sharing!

GoldenKeys

What a wonderful and true poem!  I hope that you can publish it somewhere because it describes how so many of us feel.

hoffmanr7

Wonderful poem! Made me tear up.  Thank you for sharing!!