Can't sleep- TW child mentioned

JDW0325

another night of laying in bed. Crying. Wanting so much for what happened to be a bad dream. 
I'm so scared to try again. We went through a year of trying then finally moving on to fertility treatments to get this wonderful little bean. I don't know if I'm strong enough to do it again.
I want so much to have a big family. We are blessed with one beautiful boy but I long for him to have siblings. He is already 28 months. 

This is so hard. And just so unfair. Part of me just wants to jump in tomorrow and start trying again but we have to wait for my first cycle. And then starts the ultrasounds. And pills. And more ultrasounds. And shots. 

Does this ever suck less? I don't know how to handle this. 

Hopefulmommy1980

I am sorry for your loss. I thinks this is one of the hardest things a person can go through. Be sure to be kind to yourself

chloe97

I'm so sorry for your loss. I know how hard it is to think about trying again. You didn't mention your age, but if you can wait a few months I would recommend it. Because I had my first MC at 36, I jumped right into TTC again and I was ready emotionally or physically. That resulted in another pregnancy and loss at 13 weeks. This time, I'm waiting until I'm much more at ease and physically doing well before trying again. It's hard, I won't lie, because I feel the months slipping away, but I'm very hopeful the next pregnancy will be my take home baby. Take care of yourself!

JDW0325

Thanks ladies 

I'm 33 and my husband is 36. My OB said we can start trying once my period comes back. I have a consult with my RE next week to go over everything. Will just depend on when I'm emotionally ready, I guess. 

good luck to you both! 

roxgibbons

@JDW0325 I'm so sorry for your loss. This process is heart wrenching and it's so hard when you finally succeed to just have the pregnancy end in a miscarriage. It is unfair, and I understand how you feel as I finally got pregnant after 11 months and it ended in a MMC at 10 weeks. You will know when you are ready to try again and to invest emotionally in the process. For now be kind to yourself and take care of yourself. 

silentP

I'm so sorry for your loss and what you are going through. I very much relate to wanting siblings for my son. At minimum, if we are able to have another, they will be 5 years apart. I am trying so hard to let go of expectations, but you grieve your loss and also the loss of what you thought your life would look like.

I hope you find some peace and clarity about what to do next. ((Hugs))

BornReady

I'm so sorry for your loss. I also have a son around the same age as yours and feel so much pressure and want for him to have a sibling. I think @silentP sums it up for me when she says there is also grief in grieving the picture in your end of what you thought your life and family would look like. 

brooklyngirl18

So sorry for your loss. I can completely relate and agree with @silentP and @BornReady. I have a 21 month old son and desperately want a sibling for him. I always envisioned my life with at least 2 children and it's so hard to think that might not happen now. 

JDW0325

Thanks ladies. I hate that so many people can relate but selfishly find comfort in it. 
I am really looking forward to my two follow up appointments next week. I pray that those some how bring me a little hope/peace/sommmmmething.