Sending pm to @LauraPCOS! I know, I haven't been active much this summer but we have been busy busy busy!
Hi, welcome to the board. I welcome you to join in here on TB and get to know the group more. As I said above. We love new faces but, for me, FB may not be the right place to get to know you.
@bnsmith85, I've been here since day 1. I was part of the TTGP group, actively, for 9 months before joining this group from the beginning. I was very active but slowed down during the summer because I've been busy with my son and doing summer stuff. I think @AllyTheKid, @sjo_thetwins, and several others will vouch for me.
**Edit:I was active on TTGP for 7 months, total time TTC was 9 months. Sorry for my horrible math skills
@lizakate1213 - This whole reg status thing is super tricky. There have been several let into the FB group that I would NEVER consider a reg, but other people vouch for them or they technically have enough posts to make the cut. You and @bnsmith85 probably haven't frequented the same threads. That's often times how it is with me and other folks I get nervous about.
On another note, it's good that I'm not in charge of this because all the semi-newbs and AW posters would be straight out of luck. Guess I'm just a bitch lol.
@bnsmith85, if you read through my replies in my profile you will see I have been here all along, just not in the past 2 months or so, again because of a busy summer. I understand being cautious though, and don't blame you. The internet is a scary place. I'm a bit surprised at not being recognized as I have been here but I guess some people just don't leave an impression, looks like I'm one of them lol. I'll still be here, regardless, and will try to "show my face" a little more often.
@LizaKate1213 - wanted to follow up. First, sorry for the quick reply to CopperBoom's reply. I was about to head out for an appointment and tried to provide a quick response. I want you to know that this is all about being safe with my info and nothing to do with you personally. I genuinely mean it when I say, I look forward to getting to know you. All of that said, I'm aware that I'm on the conservative end of the spectrum when it comes to stranger danger with this FB group. This is my first experience with TB so I know there are people that others know from other threads/boards. I'm certainly not the be all end all when it comes to opinion on this (or any topic really) and welcome the opinion of others. And it makes me feel bad that I made feel like you're not memorable. I'm sure that's not the case. I just can't place a time where I've ever provided support for you or visa versa. That doesn't mean those times don't exist. Maybe I can blame that on pregnancy brain Anyway, I hope there are no hard feelings. Whatever the group decides, I'm on board with but obviously have/had a gut response when seeing a request from someone I didn't recognize at all.
I don't know if you guys have sorted out whatever (or whoever) you were uncomfortable with in the group, but I just want to say that I know I am fully capable of making mistakes at this stage of pregnancy brain. Not to mention that fact that I was sorting through A LOT of requests over the last few days. If I let someone in that is not a regular poster, it's quite possible I confused them with someone else. If there's someone that you're concerned about, you can always PM me and let me know that I've made a mistake.
But I am definitely doing my best to make sure that the FB group is a group of people that you are comfortable with.
@nlane0723 Oh, ok. Yeah, I didn't realize that people could be added without admin approval, so it wasn't until Piperella pointed it out that it got changed. Sorry about that!
Thanks, @bnsmith85! I totally get where you are coming from. I recently had to "lock down" my facebook due to some internet creepiness. I thought everything was "private" but to my great surprise, there were many things that were publicly available! No worries, and like I said...I'll be around regardless, so hopefully we cross paths more from here on out.
Thank you, @sjo_thetwins! I did stop in to lurk a little over the summer and kept up with your situation a bit, just didn't have time to comment as much as i would have liked to. Hope you and the little ladies are doing well!
I guess I'm confused why we even need a fb group, especially with all this confusion over who is allowed in and who isn't. In my experience, screening people for how much they participate or how long they've been participating won't keep out the crazy. On my last bmb, it wasn't until the end of our pregnancies that we found out a REGULAR that had been very active from the BEGINNING was NOT who she claimed to be. All the bump pictures she shared, were not her. The baby pictures she shared, were not hers. The pictures of her other kids, were not hers. Her entire story, was not hers. As a matter of fact, she didn't even have kids! I still don't know to this day is she was even a she or who she was. That's why I don't share my face in my bump pictures or have a personal pic as my avatar. Not trying to be an asshole but I have to pass on the labor buddies and the fb group because I've been skeeved out by this previous experience.
We created a FB group on my last BMB, post delivery, because TB went to shit and enacted a zero snark policy. Some of those girls are my best friends and my biggest confidants. Nobody is forcing anyone to join and I'm sure most of us will still be active here.
@kelliott09 I think the point of the Facebook group is to create more personal relationships and get to know each other on a more personal level. With my last group, I still have pretty good friends after creating the Facebook page 3 years ago. We do IRL meet ups and everything. There's always going to be crazy people (on TB, on FB, IRL..) and it won't surprise me if one slips thru. But, if they do, their crazy will come out and no doubt be kicked out of the group.
@kelliott09 do you have any ideas for screening out randos based on what you learned from the weird stuff that went on in your past experience? I don't think the board necessarily needs a FB group but it's another option to connect that people wanted who have been involved in providing and receiving support here. I definitely can relate to feeling uncomfortable sharing identifiable info online for other reasons personally but, O16 obviously will still be here for participating anonymously
@UponAStar16 I don't, other than to not have one. This girl may have been completely harmless, just stealing pictures and stories and making them her, I don't know. I don't know what her intentions were. Who does that? Who makes up a whole life, complete with pictures, and spend that much time on a a baby board? This girl was popular, she was very active, everybody liked her, of course she's going to be added to the fb group. I'm not saying any of that will happen here, but it can. I just feel like by the time you've made it to a fb group, it's too late. There's access to a lot more of your pictures and no doubt your kid's pictures and your newborns pictures. Maybe I'm a bit paranoid but it really doesn't take knowing much personal info on someone to track them down. The Internet is pretty useful. Also, in my experience, after everyone cliques up on the fb group, the participation here will slow quite a bit. Sorry, Debbie Downer here.
Yes, we had an active, "popular" member steal money that we collected for a member who experienced a loss. And another one who was a catfish that we didn't discover until our little ones were over a year old in my May 14 group.
@TheBeeCharmer I remember hearing a story like that. Someone mentioned it in my Jan14 group. A girl had collected money, saying it was for another mom in the group, but ended up buying herself a brand new rocker that she had been wanting. Was that your group?
@kelliott09 I think the Facebook group and the boards are good for different things. TB does not work well for me on mobile, so I can only check once or maybe twice a day, but I really like the message board format. It makes it easier to go back and read posts from earlier in the day because they're all in the same place. And I feel a little more comfortable sharing some things on a slightly more private forum like The Bump (especially if I want to complain about my husband) than on Facebook. But I also like the Facebook group because Facebook is soooooo much easier to read on my phone. It does get difficult to see everything, though, when there's an influx of posts. And I do worry a little that my posts are going to be read by someone I don't necessarily want reading them (though that's more about me being embarrassed than worried about having information stolen).
I'm hoping both communities stay active. I'll make an effort to continue posting on both.
@mrskratt yes that's us. It was crazy and obviously something completely unexpected. We trusted her with the money. We've narrowed our Facebook group down to a great group but it was tense for awhile.
@TheBeeCharmer That's crazy. I just don't understand how someone could do that.
I don't understand the whole catfishing either. First of all, what are you getting out of that? A second of all, who has the time and energy to do that!?
Yeah I don't know. It was so weird. The catfish person at least really did have a daughter in May 14, so it wasn't a man pretending to be a woman or anything. She lied and said she had cancer which lead to another fundraising fiasco.
@TheBeeCharmer I remember those stories too! I was in June 14, and people were talking about it on my board. Unfortunately that, along with my already suspicious tendencies and stranger danger tendencies make me realllllly hesitant to share any personal info or join a fb group.
@ignoscemihi just a friendly reminder that TB is actually a little more public than FB in that anyone online can google search it and see posts...just in case your hubs might go searching for some reason and be unhappy with what's said on here
I think the bottom line for one part of the catfishing stuff mentioned is just not to donate money even if someone's story seems sad and you really like the person they present you with in interactions on TB, FB, anywhere else online or in person...I might be a pretty skeptical person anyway and I have witnessed individuals who lie over things you'd never think would have a reason for lying about..... but, even for those who are more trusting it seems like anything money-related should raise some major red flags.
Re: FaceBook Group Created
Maybe that's because I remember her from TTGP... is that right, LizaKate? Or am I thinking of someone else?
On another note, it's good that I'm not in charge of this because all the semi-newbs and AW posters would be straight out of luck. Guess I'm just a bitch lol.
Me: 28 DH: 27
Speaking of...
@rozANDbenSINCE2001 Shout out girl! If you're around, holla!
Me: 28 DH: 27
All of that said, I'm aware that I'm on the conservative end of the spectrum when it comes to stranger danger with this FB group. This is my first experience with TB so I know there are people that others know from other threads/boards. I'm certainly not the be all end all when it comes to opinion on this (or any topic really) and welcome the opinion of others.
And it makes me feel bad that I made feel like you're not memorable. I'm sure that's not the case. I just can't place a time where I've ever provided support for you or visa versa. That doesn't mean those times don't exist. Maybe I can blame that on pregnancy brain
I don't know if you guys have sorted out whatever (or whoever) you were uncomfortable with in the group, but I just want to say that I know I am fully capable of making mistakes at this stage of pregnancy brain. Not to mention that fact that I was sorting through A LOT of requests over the last few days. If I let someone in that is not a regular poster, it's quite possible I confused them with someone else. If there's someone that you're concerned about, you can always PM me and let me know that I've made a mistake.
But I am definitely doing my best to make sure that the FB group is a group of people that you are comfortable with.
Me: 28 DH: 27
@krzyriver
@LauraPCOS
i totes added @nlane0723 before admin approval - but I swear she was it!
Me: 28 DH: 27
Thank you, @sjo_thetwins! I did stop in to lurk a little over the summer and kept up with your situation a bit, just didn't have time to comment as much as i would have liked to. Hope you and the little ladies are doing well!
Ladies, if you aren't sure you can always join and remove yourself or block anyone at any time. Do what makes you comfortable.
Me: 28 DH: 27
There's always going to be crazy people (on TB, on FB, IRL..) and it won't surprise me if one slips thru. But, if they do, their crazy will come out and no doubt be kicked out of the group.
Fell in love: Dec 2005 // Married: Feb 9, 2013
Little Miss Rosalie Harper--Born Jan 9th, 2014
Fell in love: Dec 2005 // Married: Feb 9, 2013
Little Miss Rosalie Harper--Born Jan 9th, 2014
I'm hoping both communities stay active. I'll make an effort to continue posting on both.
Eta: words. It cut me off.
Fell in love: Dec 2005 // Married: Feb 9, 2013
Little Miss Rosalie Harper--Born Jan 9th, 2014
I don't understand the whole catfishing either. First of all, what are you getting out of that? A second of all, who has the time and energy to do that!?
I think the bottom line for one part of the catfishing stuff mentioned is just not to donate money even if someone's story seems sad and you really like the person they present you with in interactions on TB, FB, anywhere else online or in person...I might be a pretty skeptical person anyway and I have witnessed individuals who lie over things you'd never think would have a reason for lying about..... but, even for those who are more trusting it seems like anything money-related should raise some major red flags.