So, this will be a bit of a rant ! Also, my first post on this board.
My SO and I are going for a vasectomy reversal, risky ! My body is screaming baby. He already has two kids with his ex wife. I adore the kids ! I think I am partially frustrated because of the wait for surgery and wondering if it is possible for us for have one of our own. On the other hand, I am frustrated because I feel like a maid. SD is 9 years old, SS is 7. We have the kids 50% of the time. While they are with us I treat them as my kids. I feel as though I meet their physcial needs but when it comes to their emotional needs I am never needed. One evening my SO and I started talking about the surgery and how great it would be. He said something along the lines of not being ready to be the kids stepmom. My jaw dropped not only did it offend me but it hurt, badly. My approach was rather defensive. I do everything and more for the kids. My SD is extremely defiant. My SO let's her gets away with everything. Bedtime is at 8:00 but she rarely goes until 10:30 because "how can I make her if she doesn't want to?". I work from home so during the summer the kids are home with me - which is extremely difficult. I tried explaining to him that even though I work from home doesn't mean I am doing nothing. When it's bedtime I am ready for MY time. I know that sounds selfish and maybe it is but after making every meal, hanging out with the kids all day and evening, and cleaning up after all, I feel like having a schedule isn't too much to ask ! When it comes to rules and consequences I feel like there isn't any. I feel as though when bad behaviours happen my SO does everything possible to avoid conflict instead of punishing the behaviour. As a Stepmom I don't feel I have the right to say, "No, just because she wants the tablet at 9:30pm doesn't mean she can have it!" Or "When a 7 year old is taking a tantrum and saying your mean a thousand times shouldn't be rewarded by tickling and trying to make him happy".
Am I being dramatic ? Do blended families get easier ??
Me 27 DF 44
TTC post VR Sept 21/16
SA 6 weeks post op 50.7 mil count 40% motility