Separation anxiety w dad? — The Bump
May 2016 Moms

Separation anxiety w dad?

Hi ladies,

My little guy just turned 11 weeks today.  I've been home with him since birth and we haven't developed really a strict routine, but most days he will wake up, eat, play/tummy time, and then take a nap. His naps up til now are usually 1-2.5 hours (usually one big in the am 9-11 and afternoon 3-5 with shorter ones between). He is easu going and tolerates errands and walks and usually falls asleep in his carseat if we are going somewhere. 

Two weeks ago I started going back to work on just weekends (every other) from 9-5. My husband is with him all day. Baby will not sleep really at all when he's alone w my husband. He goes 6 hours straight and fights sleep so hard, is cranky and cries. I gave my husband a schedule outline to try and keep with feeds and sleep and he does everything rght but no luck. If he goes on errands or walks baby, baby stays awake. Baby is breastfed with occasional breastmilk bottles in the day, and every night husband feeds one bottle in the night and has since birth. 

Within an hour of me coming home and I "take over" he's sound asleep for hours. He tends to make up for it with naps into the next day too. I don't know what's up. He spends plenty of time with his dad, he isn't a stranger .  My husband gets really frustrated and upset and feels like the baby doesn't like him, and after these weekends he starts to distance himself from baby because he's so worn out.  Is this separation anxiety from me? Is there anything I can do different to help? I'm worried their relationship will be effected if my husband keeps getting frustrated and feeling incompetent. 

Me: 29  DH: 31, married 6/21/14, TTC since 7/14
BFP #1 EDD 7/17/15, MMC 1/9/15 @8w
BFP #2 4/3/15= ectopic treated with methotrexate 5/1, YET ruptured 5/18/15= One Tube Wonder!
2 Cycles of Femara, Ovidrel, & Progesterone= BFP #3 DS born 5/17/16
TTC #2 March 2017 (initially med free) 
BFP #4 8/14/17 *natural cycle* EDD= 4/25/18, MC @5-6w D&C 9/22/17
BFP #5 12/29/17 w/ Femara/Ovidrel/Progesterone/Synthroid, EDD= 9/11/18 found out 1/18 ITS di/di TWINS!!!
DS and DD born 8/21/18 

Re: Separation anxiety w dad?

  • I have no idea, but my 15wk old DD does something similar. She screams bloody murder if I'm not in the same room when she's hanging out with her daddy. I know his feelings are hurt and he thinks she hates 

    First Pregnancy
    • BFP: 01/25/2015
    • EDD: 09/28/2015
    • Incomplete MC: 02/28/2015

    Second Pregnancy

    • BFP: 09/11/2015
    • EDD: 05/25/2016
    Baby Born

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  • Do you nurse him to sleep when you are home? Maybe your DH can use one of your shirts to help comfort him?
    *Siggy Warning*
    Lilypie Second Birthday tickers

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  • It might be that your son is just excited to be around someone who isn't you! 

    I know that sounds awful, but my son always has trouble napping if I am not around, because everyone else is so interesting to him.

    As my MIL said, mothers are always underappreciated:)

  • My LO has a difficult time going to bed or napping if she has just interacted with MH.  She just gets super excited and stays awake around him.  He works all day so it isn't an issue with naps but with night time I have to take her into her bedroom alone and calm her down before she will go to sleep.  Like PPs have said, perhaps baby is just stimulated because he is interacting with someone who isn't you.
  • I think it just takes time for them to work things out in their own way (vs how things are when its you and the baby). My LO is 14wks and my husband just started caring for her while I'm at work 3 days a week. It was a hard hard day for him and she napped but each nap was only 5-25 minutes long. As soon as I came home she napped for an hour and a half. I really think they will eventually figure out their own thing and get into a groove that works for them, and your husband and baby will too! 
  • Same here, my husband thinks our son is a major mama's boy already  :D I never thought that he could be overstimulated with someone other than me, but at the same time, he does fine at daycare and with my mom in the afternoons, (dad and I both work late) its just with him
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