****AUGUST Benched Thread****

RiverSong15

Hopefully no one minds that I'm getting this one started!

This is where those of us who are taking a break from TTCAL for medical, emotional, or other reasons can check in, chat, and vent about being Bench-warmers.

1. If you're new (or just feel like it), introduce yourself!

2. Status?

3. Rants/Raves?

4. GTKY - I can't believe it's already August. The summer seems to be flying by! In light of that, what's on your bucket list for the rest of the summer? What's a "must-do" before we head into Fall?

RiverSong15

1. MC at 7 wks in Dec. 2nd MC in April at 10 wks. DH and I are both 33.

2. On the bench pending repeat APS and thyroid testing this month. I'm kind of enjoying not being in TTC mode, though, and we are dealing with some family issues. So we may hold off a little longer until I feel ready and able to handle another loss, if it happens.

3. Our puppy is growing by leaps and bounds. He put on almost 2 pounds in two weeks! He's funny though, and likes to pounce on leaves like a goat. I wish he liked cuddling a bit more, but he is still pretty sweet. I have him all to myself this week since DH is traveling for work. Thankfully he slept 7 hours in a row last night! I've jammed my schedule with visits with friends to hopefully tire the pup out.

4. We really can't wait until the pup is finished with his shots, and then we want to spend lots of time hanging out at breweries. Our city has so many great ones, and we didn't go at all in July. I had also wanted to go blueberry picking, but the ship has already sailed on that one around here!

fiorip

Status?
Benched myself until I can figure out how to handle being pregnant. 

Rants/Raves?
I've been really sad lately, my sons birthday is in 3 days and I'm having a really hard time (born at barely 22 weeks and didn't survive). I made an appointment for next week with a grief therapist and I'm looking forward to it. 

GTKY - I can't believe it's already August. The summer seems to be flying by! In light of that, what's on your bucket list for the rest of the summer? What's a "must-do" before we head into Fall?
I need at least one day at the beach, I live on an island and believe it or not, I've not been to the beach all summer long! It's not like it snows here, I could still go during the winter but summer=beach!

RiverSong15

@fiorip I'm so sorry about your son's upcoming birthday. I'm sure that's really really hard. Hugs. I hope your therapist helps you sort through your feelings. Also, a beach day sounds like so much fun! I'd love to find a way to get to a nice, warm sandy beach.

yolandamunoz

Hello all

2. Status: benched after new tests results. I went to a RE for the first time. I felt great he seems very savvy and kind. He listened to my story (2 early MC), and my medical background, and asked for extra tests for me and my husband. with the results we will schedule another appointment to talk about our plan ahead. He is very optimistic of our chances, and thinks that it won't be that complicated. I really hope so!!!

3. Summer? Winter here. I have an upcoming trip to Lima (my hometown) with 2 girlfriends. We are going to see a concert there (classical singer) and of course do some sightseeing and food tasting by the beach! I miss Lima!

Hopefulmommy1980

2. Benched until September. I also got to the the re then. It feels like the wait is forever. 

3.  Feeling really stressed. Was already working extra hours and now will need to do more since my boss is on maternity level. Then our head nurse at work is having her baby tomorrow. I feel like everyone is having a baby but me. But am very thankful for my supportive friends and dh. 

4. Looking forward to doing a wine run in two weeks. Well for me it will be more of a wine walk. 

@riversong15 puppies are awesome. hope he sleeps through the night. 

@fiorip I am sorry about your baby's bday coming up. Sending lots of positive thoughts your way. I hope things with your therapist go well. 

@yolandamunoz I hope your re gives you good news. Also going to Lima with friends seems like a blast

ladipale

:: Sniff Sniff:: I'm sad/happy to say I'm off the bench this month! 

Its been a great group of ladies and I still want to check in with you all... We decided to go ahead and give it a go starting August instead of September. Its been almost 6 months since my loss/2 D&C saga. I'm exactly one month away from my due date and really would have had baby in August so I'm trying not to think about that too much.

RiverSong15

@hopefulmommy1980 Boo for the bench, but yay for wine run!!! Wine has been a good friend of mine lately too!

@yolandamunoz - that's my Nothern Hemisphere bias showing. Lol. But I'm glad your doctor is opptomistic! That's always a good sign.

@ladipale Yay for burning the bench!!! Good luck TTC, and I hope we don't see your face around here for very long (I mean that in the sweetest way possible!)

chloe97

1.) I'm Chloe- I had a MMC at 10 weeks in December and lost our 2nd pregnancy after being diagnosed as Triploidy at 12 weeks. 

2.) Since Triploidy is caused by an error during meiosis and alcohol can be a factor, I've decided to give up drinking when we start TTC. We just got done with 4 days of vacation with my ILs and of course I drank way more than I said I would. Not enough to be hungover, but enough to be scared of TTC right now. My Dr said to limit myself to 4 glasses of wine a week, I think I trippled that this weekend! I'm having an HSG today and as long as my RE gives us the green light, I will be off the bench after my August period. Trying to enjoy the last month of sanity. 

3. I'm feeling pretty good right now. The first 9 tests of my 13 blood tests from the RE look great. I just need good news from my AMH and karotype and APL tests and no scarring in my HSG and saline sonogram and then will be feeling great! 

4.DH are celebrating our 1st anniversary this month! We are taking a week off and will spend it at out ILs lake house in Michigan. I made him promise we would do a water park this summer, so we will probably do that this month too. We are also seeing Pearl Jam at wrigley field which should be a blast!

@fiorip I will be thinking of you this week. I can't even imagine what sort of pain you are going through and completely understand what you mean by "stand being pregnant". The thought of getting pregnant again makes me happy, but when I think about the anxiety associated with ultrasounds and NIPT testing, I freak out. Hopefully therapy will be helpful for you.

@yolandamunoz That's great to hear that your RE is confident that you will be okay. Sending good thoughts your way!

@ladipale Congratulations for getting off the bench! I will be following your journey! Fx for a healthy happy pregnancy right away!

@Hopefulmommy1980 I'm so sorry you're surrounded by babies/ pregnancy at work. I've found that is so hard because you can't avoid it. I've managed to do a great job avoiding pregnant friends, but can't do anything about the coworkers. 

@RiverSong15 Puppyhood is so fleeting! It's great that your puppy is sleeping 7 hours through the night. It will get longer in no time! 

yolandamunoz

Thank you ladies!

Yesterday I payed for the most expensive blood tests EVER!! but ok.... Hoping for good or fixable results.

Why is it that infertility related tests have absolutely no coverage!?!?!

anyway... moving on... zen...

amberruka

I'm in the same boat now as @ladipale, after 7 months I'm finally off the bench (as long as I take my thyroid meds and keep checking it monthly), my lab results in the mail this morning she wrote, "OK to try for pregnancy again." YAY! Trying not to think about turning 38 at the end of this month, but that's another story, ha ha!! You ladies are awesome, and I wish you all nothing but health and happiness (and rainbows!) as we all continue to move forward together :-)

RiverSong15

Ahhhh!!!! So exciting @amberruka!

yolandamunoz

Yay @amberruka !!!

i also got my tests results already, but don't know what's happening as I will see my doctor next Thursday!! Oh patience!

DH also provided his "sample" today and will get results probably Wednesday.

hoping for good news!

chloe97

@yolandamunoz I'm right there with you. I have all my blood test results and am waiting in DHs semen analysis before my RE consult on the 15th. It's driving me crazy. I'm googling like a crazy lady. Need to step away from Dr Google!

amberruka

@chloe97 and @yolandamunoz I hope both your DH's tests come back A-OK

chloe97

Guys I need some help with self-control. I'm on CD 14 and my body is giving me fertile signs, which is early for me. In the 3 cycles we tried to get pregnant, I've never gotten EWCM and I'm getting it today for the first time. Like really stretchy clear EWCM. Maybe it's because the HSG cleared a good path for it? My OPK is almost positive. I feel like I might just ovulate the next couple days which would increase my chances of a good egg.

Im only 1 cycle past D&C though and I'm still worried about by lining thickness and we haven't had our RE consult yet though I'm not sure what else she would say b/c everything looks normal. I feel like my body may be giving me signs of a good egg and at my age that won't happen every cycle. What would you do? HIO or wait and hope the same things happen next cycle??

SnobunnieMel

I'm not a good influence @chloe97 if tests all look good I say jump some bones. But if the anxiety out weighs the regret of not trying then there is your answer 

BornReady

Always a tough call @chloe97! I'm with @SnobunnieMel that if it happens it happens and I'd be all over that. We've tried on my off cycles with the RE even though our chances are really low. Having some shred of hope is easier on me than having none psychologically. That said, I don't have a repeat loss history, so I don't know how the role of that anxiety in the mix. Moral of the story...I'd have a hard time not going for it. My body speaks to me loud and clear during my FW and it's hard to ignore. 

brooklyngirl18

@chloe97 that's so tough. I would probably go for it to be honest but only you know if you're prepared for that. good luck!

chloe97

Ugh you guys are the worst influence! Why does the prospect of ovulating make me so baby-crazy! I made DH promise that he would insist we use condoms during my FW no matter what Jedi mind tricks I tried to use. Now back home to see if he remembers when the FW is this month ;-)

Hopefulmommy1980

That is tough call chloe97. Good luck either way you go

chloe97

DH ended up remembered my FW and so we used the POM. It's actually probably for the best because my CM dried up without the OPK turning positive. Temp went up today (could be from drinking last night though) so I have a feeling it was a fake out surge and I will get another one in a few days. DH has his semen analysis in Tuesday so no BD between now and then anyway. As much as I'm excited to start trying again, I did want to not be pregnant on our vacation in 2 weeks, so it's really for the best AND th fertile signs weren't as obvious as I hoped so who knows if it was a good egg or not. 

Hopefulmommy1980

I hope your dh's testing goes well and that you enjoy your vacation. 

yolandamunoz

Hello ladies! How are my "benchies" doing?

I am currently in Lima, Peru, having some quality time with my family but missing my husband. Ah!! At least I am still benched and I am not "wasting" my fertile days.

I went to my RE the day I left for this trip, and showed him my latest tests. Good news: my ovaries reserve is good! We are not in a real hurry because of that yay! And my husband sperm test was great! So the first one was just a bad sample yay!

One of my tests was positive for anti fosfolipidic syndrome. That could explain my early losses. I have to test again to confirm. The doctor says that even if I have this, I can take medication and have good chances of getting pregnant and carrying to term.

so I'm really happy and hopeful about that!!!

how have you been doing? New tests or treatments?

Peruvian hugs!
-Y

SnobunnieMel

@yolandamunoz so great to finally see an update from you. And it's a good one too!! Congrats on some good numbers. Enjoy the family time. I loved Lima when I visited. 

amberruka

Congratulations @yolandamunoz! Glad things are looking brighter for you!

chloe97

That's a great update @yolandamunoz! I'm so glad you went to the RE and they were able to diagnose you with APA which is very treatable!

RiverSong15

Yay @yolandamunoz!!!! Great update! I'm also waiting to re-test APS antibodies because of a slightly elevated result. Hopefully yours comes back as nothing, but at least you have a plan if it's positive. How's your blood sugar and diet going (if I'm remembering correctly)? I hope you have an awesome time in Lima!

As for me, I'm at the point where I could retest APS and thyroid, but I'm not feeling the rush. I need to get some other things sorted out in my life, and I feel I need more time before I can emotionally be available for another pregnancy. And plus also? I really want to go to my city's Oktoberfest at the end of September. I've had precious little to look forward to this year, and I freaking love the fall beer festivals here! I think we may be on the bench through October, maybe. I cringe when I think about how much time is passing, but emotionally it feels right. I deserve to get to a place where I can manage the anxiety during the next pregnancy and hopefully enjoy it, however long it lasts. 

TScalei

Im here now too! Quick recap just found out I am going to have another mmc on Tuesday. It's my second one in 5 months. So Im still waiting to miscarry naturally and then waiting for AF. So I will probably be here though October if not longer. Im trying to take it one day at a time and not get overwhelmed thinking about when I am going to miscarry, when I will get my first AF, we will try first cycle, how long we will be ttc this time. I am also going to see an RE for some testing after back to back losses so am just beginning insurance/ payments/ getting medical records together for that.@RiverSong15 - I just keep thinking of all the time that is passing too even though I too feel like I need an emotional break its just hard to think about the months going by.

yolandamunoz

Thank you ladies! 

Yes I continue with my diet and metformin treatment. Though in Lima it is very hard to diet!!! Last week I went to a Peruvian-Japanese restaurant that is ranked 13th in the world! It was so awesome and unique it's totally worth it. 

I plan to have some tests a week after I come back to Santiago, hopefully I will be back on track. but in general I feel
good and I feel my pants are too big for me now and that is good!

yolandamunoz

Oh dear @TScalei  I didn't read your post the first time. I am so sorry for your loss. Waiting to MC is really painful to your heart, and we feel we are in a sort of limbo. I wish you don't have to wait too much and feel relieved soon.

Like @RiverSong15 I also think about time passing... My first due date is coming up mid September, and although right now I feel fine, I don't really know how I'm going to feel then.

It will be a year in November, since we started TTC. Another milestone I'm not looking forward to.  But in the end I feel hope.

How are the rest of you guys doing?

TScalei

Thank you @yolandamunoz. I'm unfortunately still waiting to mc. It just stinks that it is taking so long. It took me 6 weeks to get AF after my 1st mc so I feel like I am going to be delayed forever. 

yolandamunoz

I am so sorry @TScalei  !! And have you considered a D&C?

TW ..............


When I MC the first time, it was a MMC so I also waited for a couple of weeks to MC, and when it didn't happen, my doctor suggested the D&C. I know it is a very personal and difficult decision. For me it was good to stop the limbo, and have some closure regarding my MC. After the procedure I started a different grieving process, and it was good for me. It went very well and my AF came on time the cycle after that.

I don't want to impose or to hurt your feelings, just telling you my story in case it is helpful to you.

Hugs.
_Y

RiverSong15

I'm sorry @TScalei. Limbo truly sucks, and Its just emotionally draining. Hugs.

DungeonTrollMel

@MK1013 welcome. Everyone here is very supportive and helpful as you get back to TTC 

RiverSong15

@MK1013 I'm sorry you find yourself here, but welcome. This is an awesome group of ladies. For my part, I felt the same way as you after my second MC - that we shouldn't try again because what's the point? Gradually over time, my fear is going away and being replaced by my desire to have a kid. It didn't happen overnight, and I still am afraid often, but that paralyzing fear has faded. Hugs. Good luck as you move forward!

kiki75

2. Status? May have finally stopped spotting. Now just waiting for things to regulate and after next period we're back in the game.

3. Rants/Raves? I think my doctor wants a blood test tomorrow so I did a Wondfo this morning to see how things were going. As far as plummeting HCG, that's going well. But it was still sad to see a line that was so similar to my first BFP and have it mean the ending of something instead of the beginning of something. Overall, doing better. Starting to temp again, making a plan for when we're off the bench. Hoping that the next FW magically aligns with H's schedule.

4. GTKY - I can't believe it's already August. The summer seems to be flying by! In light of that, what's on your bucket list for the rest of the summer? What's a "must-do" before we head into Fall?
Go kayaking! I can't believe this whole summer has gone by and we haven't been out once! I'd also like to try SUP.

TScalei

Quick update on my situation - Im finally starting to miscarry naturally and I am just thankful not to be in "limbo" anymore. I know I will still be benched for a while but at least Im making some progress.

@kiki75 I just tried kayaking for the first time this summer and have been wanting to try SUP. They have SUP yoga classes at the waterfront downtown during the summer but I don't think my balance would be good enough for that. lol

JessyKV

@MK1013. We seem to be in very similar boats and timelines :-(.   My DH is also afraid to get busy again but I hope by the time we are off the bench he is ready.  

fiorip

Hello ladies, I've been MIA for the last few weeks just dealing with some issues. For those of you who are new here, I'm sorry we have to meet under these circumstances and hope you can heal soon physically and mentally. 

This is will be my last benched cycle, I'm expecting AF on September 15th and will be trying yet again. I am scared beyond words but I think it's time. I've been working on myself and husband and I have been seeing a grief therapist. Hugs to everyone. 

rainafire77

1. Had a D&C at 9 weeks after finding out the baby had no HB & stopped growing at 6w 3d. It was very emotionally draining for me and for my fiancé. 

2. Benched for two cycles and then we can try again. Doctor is very optimistic that we'll be successful this time even though I'm 39. 

3. Mercury is in retrograde, I'm working crazy hours & exhausted and my daughter's bus can't get her to school on time!

4. GTKY - I can't believe it's already August. The summer seems to be flying by! In light of that, what's on your bucket list for the rest of the summer? What's a "must-do" before we head into Fall?-one last BBQ but Fall is my favorite time of year. Sweater and hoodie weather makes me happy.