How should one feel — The Bump
TTC After a Loss 6 Months+

How should one feel

Let me try to sum it up shortly. We finally got pregnant last July, 1st pregnancy at age 30 for both me and my husband. I lost it Sept 1st at the 11week day mark. We've been trying since, with no luck.  I blamed myself forever then I've been really depressed because more then half my friends got pregnant real quick after most without even trying. Then now my SIL is and I'm happy for them but it reminds me what I lost, and unfortunately kinda, its a close family and we live with my MIL so I get to hear everything about it from everyone. I still feel like a part of me is missing and now I don't want to be around babies yet I still want one of my own. I feel like its so messed up to feel the way I do. I feel like everyone just expects me to be moved on and ok with everything, so I feel like I can't even allow myself to feel some of the things I'm feeling. Any advice ? Anyone else taking forever to get pregnant again and feeling like they just can't be around other babies?

Re: How should one feel

  • retasretas member
    10 Comments 25 Love Its First Anniversary Name Dropper
    edited August 2016
    I'm with you. Experienced two MC in 2015 and being around kids was tough. Sometimes I think my wounds have healed and then another pregnancy announcement comes out of the woodwork and it's like a slap in the face. And then my SIL announced that they were pregnant, after clearly stating that they didn't want anymore, and my world crumbled for a few days. I was sad, mad, irritable etc. The problem? I don't have advice for you...I do avoid baby showers, I don't ask to hold people's babies, I don't look at pregnant bellys, my hubs even stopped using facebook to avoid that baby broadcasting. I'm sorry you are going through this. I just try to remind myself that I don't want those kids, I want my own.  And of course, it helps when babies are crying.
  • I had a similar experience MC in 2016 and it difficult to meet eyes with friend with all having successful pregnancies. we are still trying with no luck   :/
  • Have you already consulted the fertility specialist? I understand that you feel awful but you should keep trying. I'm sure you still have a chance to become a parent. Infertility is a horrible disease. But medicine is doing everything possible to fight it. Stop blaming yourself. This is not your fault. I also had two MCs. I remember how hard it was. But my husband was always supporting me. I'm glad we decided to try the IVF because it helped. I got pregnant after the third attempt.

    It is absolutely normal to feel sad when you see pregnant women or kids. You want to become a mom. And I'm sure your dream will come true. 

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