Need to share with ladies who understand

mrswifeytoad

The other day at work I burst into tears because of something a coworker said. I've never cried in front of anyone but my husband about my if. I've never outwardly been affected even by comments of others. 
But for some reason this week was different. 
My coworker said something along the lines of "careful, don't carry so much at once. One day you are going to have babies who want to be carried and you don't need a hurt back." 
Tears immediately started pouring down my face. And my coworker immediately ran over to me and hugged me and apologized for whatever she said (she had no clue about us even trying to get pregnant. She's younger than me and not married or dating.) I guess she realized it had something to do with trying to get pregnant, she said, "I can't have kids either" (like that was supposed to make me feel better) it actually made me feel worse because not only had I burst into tears over my IF I also got sad for her. 
It turned out okay and I was able to stop crying and no one else knew it even happened. She tried to be enouraging and stuff, but it's not the same talking to someone who is not near trying to have kids.

Anyways, has anyone else had a similar situation? How did you save face? 

MsTSR

My situation is a little different, well here's my background. I'm 35 yr old newlywed that's been ttc for months. And now my fresh out of high school 17yr old niece is pregnant along with her 3 friends ages 17,18 and 18. I could have just died. But I had to keep it together, because her mother (my sister) pasted away 3 yrs ago. So she had a lot of questions. Although I don't have any children,  I'm her aunt and I have to be there for her. But she doesn't know I'm ttc, and probably wouldn't understand my pain.... 
Staying strong is hard, and I have found myself running to the bathroom to cry and if i feel the tears building up, then I usually say I have bubble guts (I'm sorry TMI) but that way if it gets to overwhelming I can keep running to the bathroom, saying I don't know what's wrong with my stomach. I hope this helps. 

mrswifeytoad

@MsTSR That's really hard. I get so discouraged sometimes with how easily others can get pregnant and how I am unable to. 
Congrats on your new marriage! 
Thank you for your advice. 

MsTSR

Yes, I do as well. Thanks you and you're welcome  

Mrs.RedHead

I'm so sorry this happened. Keeping it together at work is the hardest part of this journey for me. After our infertility diagnosis I told two people in my office and this past week I told two more people I work with at our national office (I was Clomid crazy last week and owed some people apologies). I work with mostly middle aged men and I was surprised when their responses were just "oh." Although I'm amazed as I start talking about it a little how many other couples have been down this road. Consider telling someone you trust at work. It is nice having a safe place to land at the office. It has absolutely made it easier for me knowing that they know (also reduces the probibility of them saying something stupid).

Bababatty

I'm so sorry this happened as well.  I second @Mrs.RedHead's advice to consider talking about it with someone at work.  I'm fortunate to have a very supportive boss, so I told her when DH and I decided to start seeing an RE.  I wasn't feeling emotional when I walked into her office, but as soon as I opened my mouth, I started crying.  Emotions are a bitch sometimes; they really like to sneak up!    Anyway, I've since told one other woman at work.  While neither she nor my boss had their own fertility issues, they knew others who did and successfully got through it.  It's amazing how common IF is.  And it really does make you feel better knowing that other people know.  

As for if you start crying around someone you don't want to tell, I'd just use the excuse that you're having a bad day and you're not sure why you're upset (hormones?) but that it's not that person's fault--and then beeline for the bathroom.  (I suspect this works better with female colleagues, but who knows? ;-) )

mrswifeytoad

Yeah, it was crazy how quick the emotion showed up. Totally unexpected! 
Thanks for your encouragement ladies. 

hoffmanr7

@mrswifeytoad I'm sorry  that happened.  I have broke down at work a couple times and usually dash into a bathroom and lock myself in before my coworkers see me...I get super embarrassed when people see me cry, even my husband.  I agree with the others, having people at work you can talk to about it helps, even if for the only reason so that they know to tread carefully on the subject.  

mrswifeytoad

Thank you ladies. 
The most difficult thing is I work in a college book store and the bathroom is a trek from the store. It would be easier to hide if I had a normal job. Since many times I'm the only one on the floor, I can't really run off. I wish I had an "off" button to my emotions!